I’ve been reading about this supposedly “raunchy” video that the former XO and current commander (CPT Owen Honors) of the USS Enterprise made while the crew was finishing their 2007 cruise. From everything I’ve read, I was expecting something really disgusting. Our reader Matt sent me the video and I’ll tell you, I’m shocked.
Here’s how CNN described it;
Honors is shown cursing along with other members of his staff in an attempt to demonstrate humor, according to videos. There are also anti-gay slurs, simulated sex acts, and what appear to be two female sailors in a shower together.
Sounds pretty bad, huh? Well, here’s the video. You really owe it to yourself to watch the whole 12 minutes;
This is the tamest thing I could have expected. Anyone who gets their balls in a uproar over this bit of sophomoric behavior is a complete pussy. Yeah, OK, they used the F-bomb and they made some toilet jokes and a guy beating off to his maintenance manual is kind of funny, but I guess civilian journalists have a different idea of what is funny than real people.
“They were the XO’s project,” said one former Enterprise sailor, a ship video-grapher who on one occasion was asked to help in the filming. “He was the one coming up with scripts and the jokes. He was the one planning it.”
The Pilot continues with a description of the “mastermind’s” video;
In one scene, two female Navy sailors stand in a shower stall aboard the aircraft carrier, pretending to wash each other. They joke about how they should get six minutes under the water instead of the mandated three.
In other skits, sailors parade in drag, use anti-gay slurs, and simulate masturbation and a rectal exam. Another scene implies that an officer is having sex in his stateroom with a donkey.
Really. Show me something anti-gay. The women in the shower were clothed and willing participants. And, oh, there’s also a scene with two guys in the shower soaping each other up. In drag? A guy runs through a scene with a bikini top. Who among us hasn’t used the “sex with a donkey” joke?
If what I saw is the entire video, I’d say “so fucking what?” This is the kind of nit-picking bullshit that continues to keep the military arms’ length from civilians. Of course, CNN and the Virginia Pilot hopes this rises to the level of the Tailhook Scandal, but it’s not even close. Most of the civilian dimwits won’t even see the video, but they’ll still complain about shit they’ve never seen…like they always do. Ignorant but vocal.
The Navy’s investigation should have ended twelve minutes after it began. But it won’t.
And, oh, Honors is a homeboy from Syracuse and we ain’t right.