More on Joseph Cryer, the Chippendale SEAL

| May 29, 2011 | 250 Comments

Joseph B Cryer

Late last month we wrote a bit about Joseph Cryer, the Chippendale SEAL who claimed, among other things that he’d been selected by members of SEAL Team Six while playing video games in an arcade to go directly to BUD/S training without the bothersome boot camp training. Then he was deployed to the coast of Libya, on the USS Caron from which he was launched like a murderous missile against Qaddafi and had a body count of 77 Libyans in just 102 hours of a killing frenzy. And then he was promoted to O-5.

Well, the folks at POW Network sent us his records last night. They seem quite a bit different than his Hollywood-style stories;

Nothing spectacular in his DD214 in the way of medals, other than the fact that he deployed with some damn fine units.

And, oh, look, he went to boot camp at Great Lakes Recruit Training Center. How pedestrian. I don’t see any BUD/S training, not even a stint at the Fort Benning Academy of Gravity – a pre-requisite for any special warfare training.

I know that prosecutors from Department of Veterans Affairs, Office of the Inspector General are regular readers here. According to POW Network, Cryer is receiving DVA benefits based on his wild-ass fairy tales so you guys might want to look into that.

Cryer has threatened to file lawsuits against POW Network, and I want to let Cryer know that I’m available for a piece of that action, too. Please, please, please sue me, douche nozzle.

Category: Phony soldiers

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  1. NHSparky says:

    Hey, pons, at least when you jump out of a perfectly good airplane, they can hear you screaming all the way to the ground.

    Try THAT under 800 feet of water.

    I guess Cryer had to head to work at 7/11, or the “buy me drinky me love you long time GI” ghey bar. And it was just beginning to get interesting, too.

  2. AW1 Tim says:

    DAMN! This is what I missed because I had actual real-life shit to get done? I hate it when that happens. Sigh.

    Someone ought to tell Mr Cryer that the neat thing about a lawsuit is that whole “discovery” process. That goes both ways. Sort of like a Chippendale Dancer. ;)

  3. DaveO says:

    What’s the sound of a bubblehead screaming under 800 feet of water?

    blup blup blup

  4. NHSparky %202: This bit of pond scum agrees, you bubbleheads are a special breed? Better than the rest of us… unless you were a SEAL. I suspect Mr. Cryer is, in fact, ghey. But I tried to bridge that gap. [shrug]

  5. Susan says:

    I just want to thank you guys for ensuring that my productivity today was near zero. It was fun, but I didn’t get nothing done!

  6. NHSparky says:

    Special–as in short-bus, maybe. And no, I’ll never claim I was a SEAL. Closest I ever got was a few rode my boat for weekly ops, one guy got his finger bitten off by a SEAL in a bar fight in Guam, and I did a couple of weeks at school on NAB Coronado, but never had the desire to run through surf and have psychotic instructors on my ass 24/7. Power School was bad enough.

  7. 1AirCav69 #197:
    Jonn makes a few shekels when we click on those ads under the top 3 posts, and I believe he uses that to buy good beer n cigars. We’ll know when we have clicked too many, because he will be all shitfaced trying to write, or trying to pick up Elaine Brower.
    Awww CRAP! Sorry Jonn, now Gordon Duffster will know about the Mossad connection here. Sorry about the “Shekels” mention. I will try not to let it happen again.

  8. OWB says:

    Dang, y’all have been busy!!

    Not that anyone asked, but just in case, you can put me in the file also. I can be reached at BR549. Call anytime.

    Dance?

  9. TSO says:

    It’s almost cliche that a Chippendales dancer wants to sue our pants off. If we lost, would we pay him in $1 increments?

  10. NHSparky says:

    As God is my witness, I still can’t get the thought of the SNL skit with Patrick Swazey and Chris Farley trying out for Chippendales. Must…get…mind…bleach…

  11. lucky says:

    Bulldog, I am a CA Bubba, and was assigned to the 414th CA BN in 2009-10

  12. Anonymous says:

    Funny comments

  13. lucky says:

    Haha pot calling the kettle black much?

  14. nucsnipe says:

    I think Cryer is this kind of S.E.A.L
    Sullen
    Emo
    Asshole
    Liar

  15. lucky says:

    Haha Bravo Zulu Nucsnipe

  16. Anonymous says:

    Well I am glad that we made it over 200 comments. Regarding this subject though, we will just deal with it in the Court of Law. No big deal actually. Internet Libel Slander. Regarding my military records and the VA you can have at it. I am sure the VA is easy to navigate to find the answers you are looking for.

  17. And at 207 comments, he still cannot answer with a simple Yes, or No, to a very simple question: “Were you ever a SEAL”. Totally phony.
    Read this as:
    “Frankly Opinionated says that any reference to being a member of the SEALs, by one Joseph Cryer is a blatent lie. He is not nor never was a SEAL. He is a phony.”
    Bring it, Liar.

  18. ****ERROR ABOVE****
    Should read comment 217 and not 207 Fast fingers, not so fast planning.

  19. Sporkmaster says:

    In court you say. Then there is only one court for a case like this.

  20. Susan says:

    Mr. Cryer –

    After receiving my mail today, I have determined that you deserve to either (a) rot in hell as a sociopathic liar or (b) be committed because you are mentally ill. You do not deserve the company of any of the people on this blog. You certainly do not deserve to ever be in the company of the men who did attend BUD/S and really are SEALS.

    Today I received a hand written thank you note from the family of Navy SEAL Chris Campbell for the donation I made to the Wounded Warrior Project in his memory. I never met the man, but that is what he requested before he died, so I made a donation. The note from his family makes me feel that anything I may have done is completely inadequate.

    You should immediately donate to this worthy cause in the honor of REAL SEALs as some form of penance for claiming an honor you did not earn in an effort to get respect you do not deserve.

    As for your threats of litigation, please ensure that you send a copy of any and all pleadings in any cause of action in these matters to me in care of TSO and Jonn at this blog. The email address is above. Please be aware that my friends and I are much better lawyers than you can possibly afford and that we will defend anyone you go after for telling the truth about who you are, and who you are not. I hope you understand that discovery is very extensive and very expensive – at least it will be for you, not so much for them because they will have excellent representation pro bono.

    I could never be a SEAL. I do not like to be wet, cold, dirty, or yelled at. However, I can and will defend the honor of those who are SEALs against those who pose.

    Govern yourself accordingly.

  21. Anonymous says:

    I hear ya, I know this is hostile territory. I came to you guys/gals to address this issue. Much easier to look the other way. I just felt it needed to be addressed. I will be suing the Shantag’s as well as the Shipley’s for defamation of character, Libel Slander. I might hold off on Don and his wife because I like his attitude. How many of you are on the Shantag’s payroll? The Shantag’s have enemies throughout the government. And contrary to what they present they are not an extension of the US Government.

  22. Anonymous says:

    @Susan- That was a very nice email. Every bit counts.. Joe-

  23. Anonymous says:

    @Susan- I will copy you on pending litigation. Joe-

  24. Susan says:

    For the love of God at least get your causes of action straight. Libel is a cause of action. Slander is a separate cause of action. “Libel slander” is meaningless. That is like saying “assault battery.” There should at least be an “and” in there.

    Just out of curiosity what did Mrs. Shipley do that you think is actionable? I know Don has his phony of the week thing that hurt your feelings, but what did she do?

  25. Anonymous says:

    @Sue- (can I call you Sue)? My feelings are not hurt whatsoever. Do you think internet slander bothers me, it does not. I am flattered actually, that people will go out of there way to attempt to defame me. I would assume that Extreme SEAL Experience is in both Don and his wife’s name? That was why I mentioned the two of them, but like I said I am not sold in going after them because I know Don is a Patriot. Don knows I am coming down in January, we have already discussed this.

  26. Sporkmaster says:

    Then why are you here?

    I would really like to know what statements about you have been false?

  27. This has been fun. Hasn’t helped my productivity, but fun.

    Crybaby: Put up or shut up: were you indeed ever a SEAL and if so, name BUD/S. If you can’t answer, add me to the list and you can reach me through Jonn.

    Get help, you clearly need it.

  28. NHSparky says:

    Cryer–what a fucking appropriate name.

  29. Old Trooper says:

    “I hear ya, I know this is hostile territory. I came to you guys/gals to address this issue.”

    No you didn’t, because you have still not addressed the issue. You claimed you were a SEAL and have continued to deflect from answering the direct question put to you of whether you attended BUD/S. That is the issue you need to address and haven’t in 230 comments. You’re a fake and a liar.

  30. Bulldog22 says:

    I really hoped to log on this morning and see an answer from the town cryer. Guess it will be another unproductive day :(

  31. Susan says:

    Mr. Cryer,

    You should not call me Sue if you expect an answer. Well, you can if I can call you pathological liar. I love the way you read comments telling you to rot in hell as an invitation for conversation. You are a liar. You are not a SEAL. Sue me.

  32. streetsweeper says:

    Mr. Cryer: You might as well add me to that lawsuit list of yours. Lilyea, I’ve relocated check your inbox. Susan, you may get my contact info from Jonn. I have no problem giving a deposition on behalf of POW Network, Jonn or anyone else I have run with here. Actually, I look forward to learning just exactly how an individual riding a boat contracts PTSD versus another individual in the heat of line duty combat….

  33. Sgt K says:

    Man, I just spent my lunch half hour (Working at the VA-actually helping Veterans)reading through this. Words fail.

  34. UpNorth says:

    OK, three bags of popcorn, and a plate of chips and cheese. And, Cryer, or douchebag, you still need to sue your English teachers and whoever may have signed your diploma, because you really got screwed back in high school last year. You can’t even construct a simple sentence, and you certainly don’t know the difference between offending your sensibilities(if you have any), and an actionable offense.
    But, just ask Jonn for our names, he can track us down. Looking forward to seeing you in court, cupcake. And, while you’re out on the town, give Choi a kiss for us, m’kay?

  35. NHSparky says:

    Sgt K–if someone wanted to prosecute him for fraud, how would they go about it?

    Inquiring minds want to know. Hell, the phony ID alone is worth some federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison time.

  36. Dave Davis says:

    I don’t know about all you tough guys. I went through Col Milletts tactical training course in 66. Tied between two posts while they wrapped a number of turns of wire around my wrists and ankles. Commenced to crank on that old style radio generator seemed like hours when they let me down both arms were black and hairs fell off both arms. Then they drug me over to a single post tied my hands behind my back and then shoved me to the ground and the tied my ankles to the top of the post. Then because all the name tags were blackened out of the SFG sgts. They started to pour a canteen of water up my nose and down my throat alternating while kicking me in the middle of the back. Went to the hospital and they falsified the medical reports. I hate all you tough guys that think you can make or break mens will. I don’t know who this guy is but maybe he’s telling the truth maybe not but tough guys shouldn’t really give two swizzle sticks about characters that pretend to be something that their not. Good luck in running them down and making yourselves feel like big men. Remember a real man doesn’t have to go after a lesser one to prove a point.

  37. The Old One says:

    Question Dave…how did “THEY” pour water down your throat while you were wearing a ball-gag? Sounds more like you had another one of your Homo-erotic dreams…just sayin’…

  38. Sporkmaster says:

    THAT, is why you should not do drugs.

  39. Anonymous says:

    @Dave- Don’t worry, no ones spirit is being broken. Any constructive dialogue in this forum is simply not possible and a waste of time and energy.

  40. robert cee says:

    So, just curious. Lawsuit was started in 2011. How is the “libel slander” case going?

  41. NHSparky says:

    I still haven’t been served with any papers, nor do I think anyone else has either. That ought to tell you something.

  42. Civilwarrior says:

    I am sitting here reading about the exploits of this idiots ship, U.S.S. Caron (DD-970), and I have concluded that there are some pretty good TRUE sea stories just to be told from that, ALONE! I cannot for the life of me understand the need to embellish one’s service, when you were part of some pretty interesting shit already. Personally, I like to tell awesome stories of all the trouble I used to get into as a young soldier, back in the days when an ARTY 15 was not an automatic career killer, and all the great life lessons I learned from those experiences…first and foremost, of course being, “SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!”

  43. Oathkeeper says:

    Wow…a challenger appears for Bernath. That takes talent!!

    Rot in hell, phony turd.

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