Seldom do I take forays into the realm of reviewing goods or services I have received. In fact, I know only of my one, wherein I told Ronald McDonald how his eatery on 38th street was the culinary equivalent of poop on a stick in the rain:
I bring the frozen drink to Caro, who immediately notes that she has no straw. So, I go inside, hereby defeating the original purpose of the drive thru. I get the straw, I return outside. I wait 2 mins and Manager comes out again, bearing a coffee, and 2 bags of food. Now, I know at this point we have a problem, unless for some inexplicable reason it takes 2 bags to carry 1 hash-brown. But Jesus is waiting, so I take what is offered, thank her, and move off.
Bag 1 contents: 3 hash-browns.
Bag 2 contents: 2 creamers and……7 bags of tea. Why? I have no idea. Perhaps she though that the young lady and I were all dressed up to reenact the Boston Tea Party? Perhaps she thought this was a prelude to dressing like an Indian, and dumping the contents of our McDonalds Bag into Eagle Creek? Perhaps she just looked at me and the cool and erudite Jean Luc Picard leaped to mind? Tea, Earl Grey, hot.
Anyway, I wanted to level out the field, by praising a local business.
Last week, while in West Texas (wow, what boring geography) my wife and I were awakened by a phone call at 6am informing us that our troublesome Boston Terrier (“Fenway”) had been bitten on the ear, and required medical attention. When I got home (the wife stayed in Texas) I found him missing a pretty decent sized chunk of his ear, and was told by the Vet that if he didn’t behave and let it heal, he might have to have more amputated. Well, this is a Boston Terrier, lethargy is not a character trait. So, I drugged the dog up to where he couldn’t stand, and have kept him similarly medicated for 3 days, but what to do about our Puggle (“Mosby” for the civil war Colonel, not Ted Mosby of How I met your Mother) while the other one recuperated.
A friend at work suggested Doggy Day Care, provided by “Tender Loving Pets” which is near work. So, I took Mosby down there yesterday. The place is pretty damn cool. It is like a big warehouse with offices, and the dogs just run helter skelter through the place doing whatever they want. Anyway, they take Mosby, tell me the first day is free, and proceed into this meeting room that has all the dogs, and allows for introduction. So, I walk to this window, and see my puggle let in.
As I said on my Facebook page yesterday:
It looked for all the world like the scene in Shawshank where Andy Defresne is led into the yard. Actually, I am pretty sure the Dachsund that went to meet him at the door told him that he would either shank him or make him his bitch. I’m fine with him doing the taxes for the girl working there, but if he tunnels out through the sewer, I will have a dog that needs adoption.
Now, not only did they give me the first day free, they called me at 10am to let me know who he was playing with, and then emailed 2 pictures during the day. When I went to pick his tired ass up last night, dude was so tired he slept in the car, which is something he never does. I also got a “Report Card” on him (see below.)
The very nice young lady there said he acted great, and played with everyone. The lady today told me that he “made a boyfriend right off.” Look, my dog is not a GAY (not that there is anything wrong with that), but he may be a bit bi. I’ve never come home to him watching Bette Midler movies, or listening to Cher, and not once has he ever snuck out at night wearing only chaps (Sniper tells me they are ALL assless) and a Kaiser helmet to see a BeeGees cover band in drag….but, he may have a little of that Spartan Hoplite “look bro, we’ve been in the field a while” sort of thing going on. He’s actually gotten better. When I first got him he humped everything from my pillow to the door knobs. First time I got him at the Bark Park he tried to do it “his” style with a 150lbs male Mastiff. But, I’m not buying the “he behaved thing.” I’m just glad he didn’t come home wearing a feather boa with a tattoo that read “I [heart] Spike!”
But, either way, I know I have only between 0-2 readers in Indianapolis, especially since my wife is away, but sometimes you just have to praise good service. For the cost of 0$ (subsequent days are a bit pricey for me at $25) I got a dog well cared for, a phone call, a report card, and two emails with pictures. I wish that the customer service side of Tender Loving Pets Doggy Daycare was picked up by other businesses. Mosby will be going there everyday this week and next, and I get the peace (piece?) of mind knowing he won’t get stomped, and will be tired out when I pick him up.
Meanwhile, Fenway is at home, locked in his cage, wondering why Daddy left the TV on Sportscenter. Look little dude, I already have one fruity dog, there may be hope for you, and I’m not leaving you to watch Buffy reruns on the LOGO channel. And remember, bitches dig scars.
BTW- For the small minority of you that read this and don’t get it, the gay stuff is all a joke. Couldn’t care less if my dog is gay. Don’t care if anyone is gay. Except my wife, that might sting a little. So please don’t get all worked up, this is a humor post.