Steve “Snake Eyes” Jordan, MSgt Soup Sandwich’s retarded cousin

| September 8, 2011

This post is now a nightmare with things in the wrong place, but wanted to update with this from POW Net…

UPDATE: Oh Steve, you’ve been a bad little monkey over there on N STILES ST (Or did you move to N WOOD AVE?) in LINDEN NJ…Mom and Dad (Eleanor and William) know about your SF days? You come off probation yet for your charge of UNLAWFUL POSSESSION OF IMITATION FIREARM? Phone # still 908-943-7908, or did you get a new one? And by the way, Happy Birthday a little early (13th of this month)! And changing your DOB and SSN by 1 digit doesn’t really do much, the computers cross index by residence and a host of other factors, so that trick of changing your SSN from 152-84-xxxx to 132-84-xxxx didn’t do any good.

Don’t make me angry Steve, you wouldn’t like me when I am angry. Dude, I will go all Bruce Banner on your GI Joe ass. So, write a nice little apology, you can post it in the comments, or send it to I’ve got more fun here, should I share it Steve?

EDIT x2: And what in the holy name of Spongebob’s necrofiliac Aunt is this huge ball of wombat sperm?

EDIT: Is this shittard wearing a turtleneck?

Earlier, back in Gotham….

This morning, in the dawn air, I saw it, the douchebag bat signal.  I swooped in and found this asshat.


I maybe outmand but never out numbered, Country boy whose hunting skills were honed on his grandparent’s farm.He live for the hunt

Bragging rights

I love to kill terrorists when they try stupid shit


U.S. Army Spec Ops. (APO Wolfpack)


  • U.S. Army
    First Sergeant, 1988 – present

Um yeah, ok. When not killing terrorists who do stupid shit, he’s also a ninja.

Dude can sneak in through your window and knock up your chihuahua without even making a sound.

Does have a sweet beard though.

Heroes like this need all the publicity they can get, so, please go forth and find all you can on Steve “Dusty/Snake Eyes” Jordan. He may be from Linden NJ.

Places to start your search:
Google profile.
Flicker page.

More mental illness after the jump.

Extra points to the first person that finds pictures of him in a hot tub with a weatherman and a dead guy with a dog collar on.

This dude is hella fun….here he is before his mission to take out Cobra HQ:

Snake Eyes, you ever shot a machine gun on peyote? Fuggin badass man.

Here he is doing his best Cross-Dresser Barbie imitation:

This may or may not be his current look:


Here is his Myspace.

Here is his Model Profile.

His name is Steve A. Jordan, and he is from Linden.  We’ll get his DD214, if someone could look up on AKO.  Also, I know a PI in New Jersey, so I will do a background check.

Baghdad = Mom’s House. Tell me this isn’t the same house.

Category: Phony soldiers, Politics, Shitbags

Comments (309)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. Marine_7002 says:

    @250 Very well put. Your grasp of the written English language is commendable .

    Did you get your high school or GED diploma out of a Crackerjack box? How many hours did it take you to compose that half-assed little semi-coherent tirade?

    And tell Steve to come here and defend himself, because you sure as hell aren’t helping him any. Or maybe you ARE Steve?

  2. Marine0811 says:


    Steve is on my facebook page claiming that he is LEGIT.

  3. Anonymous says:

    This guys is a fake for sure…I served with the 5/117th Cav from 96 up to the ubit’s deactivation in 2007. Sept 2007 was when C troop, the last troop to be active rolled up it’s Guidon after a 22 month Deployment to Iraq. We spent 6 Mos in M.S. at Camp Shelby then 16 mos in Iraq in 06 and 07. I was a Team leader in 1st platoon and this Tard was NOT in the unit. I know every last one of the 83 soldiers assigned to our unit during our deployment and he is not one of them. I will contact my buddy who served up at A troop to see if he knows this ass clown..

  4. jordan says:

    i agree that this guy is an idiot and doesnt know how uniforms work. but i dont think he is trying to impersonate anyone. i think he is just a military enthusiast who is just trying to look cool. i feel like a lot of people these days (since facebook) are being wrongfully accused of stolen valor when they are merely just playing ” make belief”. dont get me wrong i was in the 101st as an infantryman and anyone wearing MOH’s and claiming to be badasses deserve it, but there are lots of people who just dress up to pretend. i did it as a kid, i put on BDUs and random medals and pretended i was in combat. some people do it to honor the troops and some do it for clubs or paintball or just to feel cool. i realize they look stupid and some may feel they disgrace real veterans, but like civil wars reenactors they are usually just trying to be cool and honor veterans. dont mistake what i am saying i am NOT TALKING ABOUT REAL STOLEN VALOR CRIMINALS WHO CLAIM TO BE ANYTHING THEY ARE NOT OR CLAIM TO HAVE EARNED SOMETHING THEY HAVE NOT. but just seeing someone on facebook who is wearing some uniform or hat thats fucked up doesnt always mean they are trying to be impersonate a vet.

  5. Old Trooper says:

    @255: Um, yeah. Thanks for playing, but this little jerkweed has more than 1 picture of himself in uniform up on his FB page and has comments about being in the shit complete with poor photoshopped casings flying out of an airsoft weapon as he peers around the corner of his momma’s house and saying he’s engaging the bad guys. If he wants to play dress up in his GI Joe outfit, fine, but don’t try to pass off all sorts of fake bullshit as your military accomplishments. Not gonna buy your explanation on this one.

  6. Green Thumb says:

    This loser has longevity.

    He really believes it.

    I bet he plays games of chess in his mind….after the kids, of course.


  7. Green Thumb says:

    I also love the ear plugs.

  8. Chuck Williams says:


  9. Askani says:

    While it isn’t illegal to pose as a soldier I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to pose as an LEO. I wonder what his county Sheriff’s office thinks of his SWAT getup ?

  10. NHSparky says:

    Askani–actually it IS illegal to pose as a commissioned officer, complete with federal PMITA prison time.

  11. Ex-PH2 says:

    Snake Eyes? What?!?!?

    He looks like he’s dressed up as Bobba Fett in one picture.

  12. Askani says:

    Oh OK I didn’t know about that particular law.I knew that the Supreme Court overturned Stolen Valor.It’s good to know this POS may still have a chance to be somebodies bitch.

  13. Green Thumb says:

    I wonder if he can be ordered as a party favor?

  14. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    I still think he ought to be adopted as a servile mascot here. “Yo Snake, be a good b**tch and get us another brewski.”

  15. Green Thumb says:

    Snake Plisskin was tough. This turd is not.

  16. That Guy says:

    I dug a little too deep and found a picture of this fuckstick jerking off god fucking damn it now I have to kill him.

  17. That Guy says:

    No shit… he has an IMVU with a picture of him beating his dick.. along with a bunch of other pictures…

  18. Green Thumb says:

    Keep your pants up and kids away.

    Fucking weirdo.

  19. That Guy says:

    Did you get on his IMVU to see his fucked up pictures? Im surprised this guy isnt a sex offender

  20. Ex-PH2 says:

    ThatGuy, no! Don’t want to!

    But if he is posting porn (of himself in a sex act, it’s porn) doesn’t that cross a line of some kind?

    Please don’t do a screen capture of it. PLEASE DON’T.

  21. O-4E says:

    The amount of $$$ this guy spends on this ass-hattery is amazing

  22. That Guy says:

    Hahaha Ex-PH2 Im not going to do a screen shot of it. If someone wants to see his dick they can go make a profile and stare at it all they want. If they do that they might as well join him because they would have to be as much of a sick fuck as him.

    I guess it would be technically porn in a way, but I am not at all familiar with any of the New Jersey laws.

  23. Ex-PH2 says:

    I must admit I’m rather fascinated by his Bobba Fett impersonation.

    It makes me want to don my Skywalker Jedi Knight garb and go kick him and his cojones into the mouth of that empty sand worm.

  24. BK says:

    The spice must flow…

    I dressed up as the Burger King for Halloween this year. I didn’t realize he put on a fake beard and provided the mold for the latex mask. Now I feel very, very dirty.

  25. That Guy says:

    That fake beard is actually pubes he shaved off the people he met at those comic-con events he loves going to.

  26. Hack Stone says:

    I thought the photo of him with the fake beard was in tribute to Chuck Norris.

  27. Green Thumb says:

    This dude looks like he was the recipient of several pimp slaps as he turned gay tricks in his youth.

  28. 0311WW says:

    anyone dig up were this guy lives yet i need to chat with him, just a chat i swear.

  29. Joe Williams says:

    0311WW, leave him barely breathing. Joe

  30. jASON says:

    If he provided us with a correct address on face book which I doubt… i have this number associated with it. One theory i read on is that he may live in this area…

    Recorded name M Grossberg

    I doubt the address is real but that’s what I got.

  31. Matt Cline says:

    His address is Steve Jordan NJ He has now started sending out Christmas cards with nude pics of hi in them to any one who busted his fake pages.

  32. Mitch says:

    I heard that one of his Christmas cards with the naked pictures of himself went to a 15 year old. What crime could he be charged with their

  33. Expara82nd says:

    This is beyond douche baggery..this is mental illness

  34. LostOnThemInterwebs says:

    Hell why not, I’ll spend one hour on this idiot just for fun. as he runs (used to?) a mandalorian yahoo chat, I took the liberty to create a sock puppet account and check his email headers (LONG technical ranting IT crap coming ahead!!!! you have been warned!)

    From his “welcome email”

    From: “S.”
    Subject: Welcome To The Group

    which gives us:

    Latitude, Longitude 40.71427, -74.00597 (40°42’51″S -74°0’21″E)
    Connection through NEW JERSEY STATE LIBRARY
    Local Time 28 Feb, 2013 09:39 PM (UTC -05:00)
    Net Speed DSL
    Area Code 212
    IDD Code 1
    ZIP Code 10081
    Weather Station NEW YORK (USNY0996)

    (Don’t you LOVE geolocation????)

    Well what do you know!!

    X-Received: from [] by via HTTP; Sat, 04 Apr 2009 06:25:50 PDT
    Date: Sat, 4 Apr 2009 06:25:50 -0700 (PDT)

    X-eGroups-Msg-Info: 1:12:0:0:0
    From: “S. Jordan”

    and this traces tooooo same IP! .. well does someone like to have an static IP? .. yess apparently he does!

    From: “S.”
    Subject: Mandalorian Helmets

    X-eGroups-Msg-Info: 1:6:0:0:0
    From: “S.”
    Subject: My New Dented Helmet

    In a weird development last email without any subject via HTTP …

    Latitude, Longitude 45.81444, 15.97798 (45°48’52″N 15°58’41″E)
    Connection through OT – OPTIMA TELEKOM D.D.
    Local Time 28 Feb, 2013 10:00 PM (UTC +01:00)
    Net Speed DSL

    Did someone get hacked or spammed? I think they did (the entire stupid msg was just an URL, no more posts I pressume his yahoo acct got hacked


    Now for the record I’m not a soldier but I play one in my mind, a bad ass Navy SEAL Team 31337 as the guy that gets all the girls and everyone wants to be friends with.

    Now I’m not claiming he owns the library, or that he knows how to read a book but I bet you by the times he posts is near his house, I’d say less than half a mile as people tend to do this kinda stuff from near his house, his paranoia level on the group was none, no need to hide nothing.

    This dude is way past being an idiot, I tried to actually enlist but not being a citizen at that time I was given a really nice “err not for what YOU want to do .. soooorrryyy” (I blame my parents on making me Mexican =P) and this idiot just posing like that having the opportunity … and well I know is like beating a dead horse, but damn .. I was bored enough, now back to this stupid vuln hunting ….

  35. Dave says:

    Hmm, it seems to be “Shitbag Saturday” at TAH. Nice.

  36. Green Thumb says:

    This fool should be locked up in a asylum.

  37. Nik says:

    That’s one stupid toad-licker.

  38. LostOnThemInterwebs says:

    MMM is that a condom on the greens he is wearing? (nice turtle neck dirtbag)

  39. O-4E says:

    How much did he spend on all of that bullshit?

  40. Green Thumb says:

    While I believe this fool should be locked up in a asylum; I totally want a life-size poster.

    Right next to my poser General coin.

    A man has to have goals.

    Just saying….

  41. USMCBRIT1 says:

    @293-Too late for the condom. His father or mother needed to use it!

  42. O-4E says:

    The beard reminds me of this scene from Monty Python’s “The life of Brian”

  43. Green Thumb says:


  44. Old11B says:

    I wonder if this douchnozzel knows Ralph C. Hall?

  45. A Proud Infidel says:

    @296, condom, nothing, he should have been a blowjob that night behind the bus station!

  46. MSGRetired says:

    Asshat is back at it again, this time saying he will soon be a SGM. I guess he is waiting for his rank via e-bay !