That phony Chippendale SEAL, Joseph Cryer

| September 21, 2011 | 146 Comments

Cryer-crier

For those of you who missed it yesterday, we were visited by Joseph Cryer, the phony Chippendale SEAL, because everyone comes to TAH.

This is what I wrote about him earlier this year and his phony story;

In fact he was recruited from a video arcade and sent straight to BUD/S without the burden of boot camp. So there’s a lesson for all of you youngsters out there – spend more time in video arcades and the SEALs may pick you out of the the thousands of other glassy-eyed teens and send you straight to highly technical and physically demanding training based on nothing more than your Donkey Kong score.

Apparently, he was in the Gulf of Sidra in 1986 aboard the USS Caron during a time that the Caron had no SEALs onboard, according to witnesses. Then he secretly (how else) deployed into Libya and killed 77 Libyans in 102 sleepless hours. I know, how can you sleep when there are so many Libyans to kill and such little time. But those bloody hours gave him PTSD for which he gets 100% disability rating from the DVA.

So he called me yesterday to tell me that he’s not the enemy, which of course, he is. The he tried to tell me that the only thing he regrets about telling that story about Libya is that he revealed the story. Cryer claimed that the story is true. Sure he never went to BUD/S, never was a SEAL, but they chose him to help them kill scads of Libyans because of his mad Donkey Kong skillz.

Of course, like every other phony or their family members who come here, Cryer threatened us with a lawsuit. The folks at POW Network wrote last night that he has threatened them recently, too;

Mr. & Mrs. Shantag-How are you? Hope all is well in Missouri.
I just glanced on the internet and I viewed that you and your organization has not removed libel slanderous comments regarding myself. I am very disappointed honestly. Are you waiting for some sort of donation or something of that nature?
I guess the question of the day is: is the POW Network affiliated with the Federal Government in a law enforcement capacity? Or better yet do you represent the VA, Secretary of the Navy or the Chief of Naval Operations (CNO)?
I called the Disabled American Veterans (from your website) and they said they were not affiliated with POW Network in any capacity.
I will be in VA Beach/Norfolk/Chesapeake in mid January seeing friends from the Navy and I mentioned to Donald Shipley (by email) that I would be in town and that we will meet. I would hope this is not a hostile encounter but whatever happens – happens.
Always remember that BAD PRESS is better then NO PRESS. Your attacks on my character have no effect whatsoever because I don’t care. In all actuality it is very immature.
Where do we go from here? I know it will not happen but I would hope that you would discontinue the the slanderous attacks.
I am left with no other choice but to sue you personally and your organization for (internet) Libel Slander. If any of your cohorts make reference to attacking me on a physical level again then they will be included in the law suit as well.
Your confident, Don Shipley and his wife w/ Extreme SEAL Experience will be handled in a different law suit. What you guys are doing is illegal and I will show you in the Court of Law. Respectfully,Joseph B. Cryer

Yeah, I’m scared shitless. Cryer is a sociopath who thinks he can convince people that his tale is true, despite the countless impossibilities in his story. When I called bullshit on his story over the phone yesterday, he took on his secret squirrel persona and said he couldn’t talk about it. But he can put it on his Facebook page.

As Susan said yesterday, any lawyer who examines the facts would be a fool to take this case to court. And I doubt that Cryer has the wherewithal to pay a lawyer, anyway.

So Cryer threatened to use bodily harm to make me remove the post. I sent him a map to my house (about 2 hours from his) and his desire to force me to shut up dampened somewhat. So any of the rest of you who want to team up with Cryer and shut this blog down, I’m sure he’ll be receptive, and that’s fine with me. If I’m going to have to break out a can of whoopass, I might as well use it on two or three other people, too. I’m no real badass, I’m just tired of all of you fucks who threaten me and don’t follow through.

Category: Phony soldiers

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  1. Anonymous says:

    Than it’s obvious their wasting their talents on some facebook impostors. If you really wanted to justify this site uncovering VA fraud claims that saves taxpayer’s money would be better. But that would require investigative reporting on their part cutting down on their communications with me and trolling Asian porn sites.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Dude keep up the good work

  3. Queson03 says:

    Is anyone checking into the 100% this fraud is said to be getting? I hope someone opens this up. If he is getting 100%….thats about 3,000 per month….at tax payers expense and needs to be stopped. He may be able to make up for the lose if he does table dances in the prison mess hall…. USMC 0341(Mortarman) Nam 70-71 and USN Corpsman Nam 1975.

  4. These guys are all priceless. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. Thanks!

  5. Thejester says:

    You know……the seals/cia recruited me from the womb…..utterly rediculous. This guy needs a Texas butt whooping.

  6. Mike says:

    You know what, why don’t you send me this assbags address, and I will personally go visit this piece of trash and I’ll put my 8 1/2 Wide boot up his fagot ass!
    Mrs. Cyer, (and that’s not a typo!) you make me sick! You’re nothing but a coward who couldn’t make it through a boyscout bootcamp much less a BUD/S regime!
    You couldn’t handle a rifle nor read a map and compass, you wear a skirt because you are less than a man! My daughter could kick your cowardly ass!
    I hope to see your ass in a insurgant video as they get ready to cut your fucking cowardly head off, that’s the best thing I would want to witness from your stupid ass!
    Next time you insert a tampon up your ass make sure the string faces outboard, you piece of crap!

  7. SailorBill says:

    I’ve been retired Navy for seventeen years now, and I think I can see these dorks need for attention. A couple years back I was asked to do a “First Salute” at a young ladies commisioning ceremony. Dug my summer whites out (Jeez, they still fit), and headed for downtown Portland, Oregon. I was surprised at the people thanking me for my service! Gotta admit though, these gaylords really go over the edge with the oral and written fiction about themselves. Keep exposing them for the clowns they are, we all need a good laugh!

  8. Anonymous says:

    A veteran doesn’t need to lie about his status. I was just a lowly 11Bravo and I am proud of it. 173rd Airborne 1969-1972

  9. AirborneAllTheWay says:

    100% service connected without dependents is a little over $2600 tax free plus full medical. That is too much to let a phoney get away with. I don’t understand these guys I did my four years I was no great hero just another ground pounder for uncle sam. But I know what I did do and I am proud of it.
    173rd Airborne 1969-1972

  10. 15D AZNG says:

    I didn t realize we could hang on Foreign Object Debris, but I was pretty sure we hung out on Forward Operating Bases. Just saying-

    Way to go Anonymous, dumb ass…

  11. James says:

    I doubt Cryer’s story. I k0now, from experience, that if he did what he says he did, there is no way he would be comfortasble talking about it, let alone posting it on Facebook. He is welcome over to my house (which is full of REAL Vterans) anytime, and I will show him what it is like to have PTSD.

  12. Faith+1 says:

    I once went on a mission with a system I happened to be the geek expert on. On board the same flight was a team of SF. I honestly couldn’t tell you if they were D-boys, SEALS, CIA, super-secret-ninja-pirate-warrior-monks or retired golfers. They were loose and friendly like a bunch of old friends who had the bravado and confidence from knowing that if they had they could kill 47 different ways from a prone position using their pinky or an eyelash.

    I didn’t actually go into the area with them. I was just on the aircraft that dropped them and the cargo. My role was to make sure it had been loaded properly and brief them on its operation. They called me “T-Car”. I think it was some cool callsign until they mentioned it was short for “Talking Cargo”. I was about as badass as a box. A cardboard box. A wet cardboard box.

    They went on their mission somewhere in the big, big world. I rode back in a C-130 who’s crew decided to practice some low level flying on the return. That’s when I learned that, yes, you can vomit upside down while dangling from your entangled feet caught up in the webbing.

    I did take away one small bit of pride. The SSgt crewman back there with me said that my projectile vomit force was impressive. He said he didn’t think the human body contained that much puke. He was truly impressed. On a airsick pukebag he drew a rough semblance of purple heart with the portrait puking and pinned it to my flightsuit. That was my “medal”.

    ….and yes….after reporting to sick call for an hour I was ordered back to the aircraft where I had to clean up my own mess.

  13. SuaSponte says:

    Hey I’m a beast in call of duty MW2+3! Does that mean I have what it takes to be a seal??? Sign me up lol.

  14. Mamak says:

    Even if it isn’t listed on his DD214, it would be in his retirement points. The spec ops community is a small world, a very small world.

    Also, it is not the community Joe, that you want to annoy. You probably don’t want to provoke their curiosity either.

    In the meantime, seek our a therapist to work on finding the real Joe and appreciating “that” guy.

  15. Anonymous says:

    I am comfortable in “my own skin.” I screwed up and ran my mouth about talking publicly about Operations in the US Navy. Mistake noted and it will never happen again.

  16. Jonn Lilyea says:

    #124 Joe, you dick, that shit never happened, no matter how delusional you’ve become. No one here believes it, and neither does the DVA OIG. Had a call from them yet? It’s coming.

  17. Hondo says:

    Wonder how much Cryer will cry after he meets his cellmate Bubba . . . .

  18. Anonymous says:

    #125 John- I have no problem whatsoever talking to the VA Office of the Attorney General. If you have lost my phone number it is #(443) 497 7371, you can forward it to your contacts within the VA. They can contact me anytime. Also, there is no reason for name calling, that is very immature.

  19. NHSparky says:

    You’re still around, Joseph? Frankly, I’m surprised that the OIG hasn’t had a little chat with ya.

  20. NHSparky says:

    And speaking of guys who wait behind the dumpster while other guys shit in their mouths for spare change…how the fuck ya been, Joseph?

  21. Anonymous says:

    #129- @Sparky- I am doing great. The VA is not going to contact me. If they due “I might” sue the VA for (6 to 7 years) arrears? I posted my phone number, have the VA call me.

  22. NHSparky says:

    Pfft…what are you gonna sue them for? Definition of character, you phony lying fuck?

    I wanna see you flash that phony O-5 ID too while you’re at it.

  23. Flagwaver says:

    Wow, she’s still around? I thought for sure Josephine would have ran home to mommy crying about how those big, bad veterans (you know, the ones who don’t embellish their stories) were picking on her.

  24. John Miska says:

    Hey Jon Cryer how about you come see me and I will explain what a real top secret job was about …….
    You are clueless….

  25. Anonymous says:

    #132- No body is crying about anything?! That is ridiculous. I just posted my phone number so that you and your colleagues can give it to the VA. Like I said earlier I have no problem talking to the VA (at length) regarding my situation. In this forum though there is no viable solution and all dialogue is simply counterproductive. Myself, I would care less what Joe Cryer is doing.

  26. Ann says:

    Cryre, that isn’t negative energy you’re feeling, it’s indigestion from all the BS you projectile vomit everywhere.

  27. Wingnut says:

    Oh! Oh! Oh! Just found this thread and I wanna play kick the shit bag too.

    Hey, Joe-Bob-Shitpants, take your lying ass down to the nearest VA hospital or clinic and spend some time in any waiting area, you won’t hear anybody talking about secret squirel crap, hell it’s hard to get them to talk about anything except the weather, VFW is about the same but less friendly to posers.

    I’ve met guys like you, you’ve got nothing inside cause mommy told you you were special and daddy kicked you around, you have to have all the attention don’t you piss boy. You couldn’t do what the guys who go over the wire do, or did. Me I fought fires for the AF for 20 years, went places, did things, and would happily stomp a mudhole in your sorry ass, you walking typing piece of shit. Bring it! Please, please, please, BRING IT!

  28. Anonymous says:

    You have absolutely “no idea” what you are talking about.

  29. Green Thumb says:

    This dude is a clown.

    Fucking Rentboy.

  30. Landon New says:

    This just simply makes me sick. I dont understand why people feel the need to lie about being a war hero. You just make yourself look more like a pussy than a hero Joseph Cryer. . Gey a

  31. Command Master Sergeant Mdoobs, Esq., MD, Phd, King of War, Master Badass says:

    The incorrect use of the word ‘indiscretions’ is rather irritating… I know I’m posting on a stale thread but, please, indulge me.
    The word is structured (now I didn’t look this up) as follows:
    ‘indiscretion’ is routed down to ‘discretion’, which refers to the quality of a concept or other such thing having some degree of secrecy; not necessarily a secret intrinsically, but describing something of which the subject matter generally is not spoken of in a social setting due to some impropriety, sensitive content or vulgarity. (At an exclusive French restaurant, one might likely say ‘excuse me, I need to visit the restroom.’ instead of ‘Hold that thought. Where’s the shitter? I gotta take a monster shit. Some has already come out and it’s fuckin’ pancaked to my ass crack!’)
    ‘discretion’ is routed down to ‘discreet’, which is an adverb as well as an adjective. Meaning the same thing.
    So… Apologizing for your ‘indiscretions’ is not only incorrect but actually quite ironic, since the real indiscretion is the fact that nearly 100% of the shit you professed should have never been said at all. You really should have kept ALL that drivel in the fantasy land that is your hollow head.
    Thaaaanks!
    Mdoobs

  32. Just an Old Dog says:

    Just got to this. Who needs College when you can get an English Grammar, Military Science and Morality class just by reading this thread?

  33. fnsn says:

    Wow, stumbled across this. I sailed with Joe. I reported onboard the Can Do Caron Jan 85 and left June 88. We started the 85-86 Med Cruise (Black Sea Ops then Gulf of Sidra) with CDR Polk and CofC in Istanbul (I think)for CDR Harlow (best damn skipper!). We spent all of 3 days across the line (of death), with the Ticonderoga in front and the Scott on our stern. The closest we ever got was 6 miles and no way did any secret seal leave the damn ship. In our 85-86 Med Cruise book, Joe is shown on page 16, back row, left of center, with…wait for it… a 3rd class PO sripe. Yup, lost that in his remaining years. Can’t remember what for though, so won’t speculate. One eventful thing that I do remember about him is the time he put a ‘keeper’ on CTA1 Follettes’ rack. No one really liked Bob, he was the poster child for A branchers. We did have 2 guys go to SAR swimmer school. One was SM3 Churchill and the other was a BM. Sure wasn’t an OS. Well, sorry for the ramble, but I think I’ve proved I was there, and there was nothing really memorable about Joe than for any other shipmate. Sure as fuck wasn’t a Navy SEAL. I’ve met more than a few, and he ain’t it.

  34. Bam Bam says:

    Idk, guys. I mean he dropped CNO and even explained its meaning. That sounds pretty legit. I would expect SEALs to talk that way.

  35. Lincolntf says:

    Sending him a map to your house, that’s just Classic. Well done.

  36. Green Thumb says:

    Loser.

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