Another Facebook commando
Apparently, he owns like 10 cars, all top end, ya know because majors make so much money that they can buy Ferraris and Hummers like candy. he also boasts of quite an arsenal of weapons…again all of that disposable income for majors.
Efrain says that he first became aware of mighty Major Mike when he began screwing around on the forum at our buddies at Terminal Lance. So Efrain called on us and the first place I go is Army Knowledge Online which can find the accounts of everyone in the Army, well, except our new pal, Major Mike;
Yeah, i know my address is in the screen shot, but I don’t have anything to hide, well, except that the Army still spells my name wrong. Which probably actually means that I spell my name wrong.
I’m disappointed that he’s not a phony Ranger, and you 1st Cav folks are probably disappointed the didn’t fake go to combat with your unit, too, but that’s the way this one shakes out.
According to the pictures on Facebook, he even has crappy taste in cigars, preferring Cohibas to the better-tasting medium strength cigars like Partagas or La Gloria Cubana. That’s what tipped me off at first…only pretenders smoke Cohibas.
I know we’ve been light on posers lately, but I have several waiting on FOIAs, so keep tuning in.
January 17th, 2012 at 2:02 pm
There are some SF guys who don’t show up in AKO (from what I’ve been told by other SF guys), but I’d be surprised if they plastered their military status on their Facebook accounts. Actually, I’d be surprised if they had Facebook accounts.
January 17th, 2012 at 2:07 pm
The Army is always right. I knew a Soldier with the middle name Jose, only it was actually Joseph. His last name was hyphenated (read: long) and the whole Last, First, Middle thing cut the last two letters off his middle name during inprocessing.
This guy looks like he belongs in a boy band. Definitely not Army material, especially SF.
January 17th, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Why would anyone want to be a SF Major…nothing but power point and boot licking. No more team time…..ever……Summer help!
January 17th, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Most of his guns are Airsoft.
A California P90 with a full 50 round mag? Not happening.
The “STAR SL-9″ he has is Airsoft. The HK’s SL-9 (firing 7.62×37) never moved past the prototype.
His “Standard MP5″ is, in fact, real. But it’s a .22 LR copy. And the “silencer” for it is just a fake barrel extension so you don’t have that goofy long barrel.
Also, can’s are illegal in CA. Real ones, anyway.
January 17th, 2012 at 2:28 pm
How many SF groups do we have in Fresno now?
January 17th, 2012 at 2:41 pm
I retired from the USAF over 20 years ago. I’ve been a long time reader, but I don’t think I’ve ever left a comment.
I know what a Major is and I know that’s an O-4. What I don’t understand is the “fresh” in parenthesis. Is that something he also made up or does the army use the term?
January 17th, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Mike; I think he means he likes to pinch CPTs on the ass. Actually, I think he’s trying to tell us that he’s newly promoted, but it’s not an Army term, it’s poser term.
January 17th, 2012 at 2:56 pm
That’s kinda what I thought, but ya never know. Times change. Thanks for the response. And yeah, he looks like he might be an ass pincher.
January 17th, 2012 at 2:56 pm
I for one, am very disappointed this young “major” isn’t wearing a 1st Cav patch….He’s taking all the fun of it for crying out loud.
January 17th, 2012 at 3:01 pm
10 years TIS required for MAJ. It looks like he graduated from high school in 1999. Add 4 years for college, so he would be YG 2003. Add 10 and that’s 2013 before he would be pinning on MAJ.
January 17th, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Dumbass
January 17th, 2012 at 3:17 pm
E-4, possibly. Working at SF location, possibly. IN the SF? Not an effen chance.
O-4? Not an effen chance. Maybe in the USAF, but definitely not Army. Looks like a cabin steward in the Navy.
Cohibas are the Newports of the cigar world…
January 17th, 2012 at 3:23 pm
I like Cohibas.
January 17th, 2012 at 3:24 pm
Sorry- I mean NEWPORTS…
January 17th, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Honestly, he looks like the kind who wants to smoke a different kind of cigar. Thank god he doesn’t have to worry about “Don’t ask, don’t tell” anymore.
January 17th, 2012 at 3:39 pm
Gurkha assassin or black dragon, best non cuban cigars i’ve ever had. Stogies aside, TL is pro at outing posers and making their lives miserable.
January 17th, 2012 at 3:44 pm
He looks like he just fell out of 1986 with the hair and wardrobe. Either that, or he’s auditioning for the lead role in Corey Haim’s biopic.
January 17th, 2012 at 3:46 pm
This Airsofter dipshit appears to be peter-puffing ghey…
SF my ass…
And Jonn…REAL Cohibas (the Cuban ones) are a damn good smoke…the ones from the Dom Rep…yeah, they’re weak sauce at best.
January 17th, 2012 at 3:47 pm
Proof that too much jersey shore can warp a young man’s mind. Watched about 30 seconds of that show and thought “where’s an RPG when you need one?”
January 17th, 2012 at 3:50 pm
So, I’ve been out for 6 years now. Did they massively change AR 670-1? Last I checked, long hair and facial hair were still a good sign that you’re a civilian. Also that earring would have a half-life of four seconds in the Army and leave a bleeding ear behind. This kid looks like some of the scared little types we toss into county on the weekend for shoplifting at the state liquor store.
January 17th, 2012 at 3:57 pm
That’s why I like the La Gloria Cubana torpedo, Spigot. Made in Miami by real Cuban rollers to their standard. I’ve never had a bad smoke from LGC. I have had Cohibas come apart in my hand, though.
The Dom. Rep. Partagas #10 is comparable to the Real Cuban Partagas, with a Sumatran wrapper and Dom Rep filler.
For a milder smoke, the Jamaican Macanudo Cafe was a hit at the Milblog Conference two years ago when it was my turn to supply.
I don’t compromise on cigars.
January 17th, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Well – he does answer one burning question that so many of us had: bigger ear bling does NOT make one look more mature.
January 17th, 2012 at 4:06 pm
I just love that he’ll that he’ll make up a military identity, but lacks the creativity to fabricate a civilian education beyond “studied psychology at Fresno City College.”
January 17th, 2012 at 4:18 pm
From his FB info:
“I’m a gamer on xbox live and I’m lovin my life. I am a hardcore CoD player so ask me what my GT is if you want to play. A wise man once said “What is the point in having a shit load of money if you don’t take any risks?” -My father”
I just don’t understand what motivates people to do this…
January 17th, 2012 at 4:36 pm
@24…the mistaken impression that people with IQ’s over room temperature are impressed by shit like this.
And why is it they never make anything seem plausible? My sister had a boyfriend once who claimed he was a loadmaster on C-130′s who made E-6 in two years. He didn’t make that claim again when I pointed out just to make E-4 would have required 30 months TIS, with minimum 18 months as an A1C.
January 17th, 2012 at 5:38 pm
I like the fact that if you look at the picture of the Benellis, you can clearly see that they’re plastic miniatures, like the ones that come with the 12 inch GI joe dolls. And by the way, has anyone here ever referred to guys in their unit as “my 11B friend”? I know I’ve never heard it
January 17th, 2012 at 5:54 pm
i noticed on his facebook page that the has not posted one single pic of himself in uniform. of any kind. i don’t think he’s ever even served in the military. altho he did get the officer SF MOS right.
January 17th, 2012 at 6:57 pm
@23
Isn’t Fresno City College the fast-track school for Special Forces training?
January 17th, 2012 at 7:00 pm
Cohibas….unless you are getting them from a friend or uncle straight from Cuba you are more likely to be smoking one of the bajillion fake Cohibas displaced Cuban nationals are making in sweatshops stretching from South Beach to Delray.
No way he’s made 0-4 even in SF, but you guys know that. I’m ex-USAF and even in our cushy service you needed 11 years. I know a couple of guys promoted below-the-zone but even the earliest was 9.5 years and that was due to some very special circumstances.
January 17th, 2012 at 8:37 pm
I didn’t want to comment on this, but I just went to the above ghey-boys FB page, and I have to tell you, I just couldn’t stop laughing.
If you go into his pictures there is one of him in the mirror with his shirt off, the comments below are between him and some girl admirer. That single conversation alone is all the proof you’ll ever need to depose this moron….
if you can stop laughing that is…..
January 17th, 2012 at 9:41 pm
He has a YouTube channel – calls himself ShadowGod55. Says “This is the Official channel of Shadow Producing. We help young and starting dubstep, DnB, and Techno producers succeed in what they love.” Also says he’s 25 (and his “likes” also show he’s a douche). http://www.youtube.com/user/ShadowGod55/feed
January 17th, 2012 at 9:46 pm
Haven’t posted here before, but have been reading for a little while. Anyway, he apparently actually is pretending to be a Ranger too, under his activities next to being a “model” and “skyrim”.
January 17th, 2012 at 9:53 pm
Aww, the peckerhead took it down while I was looking at it.
I like how “his” Camaro is sometimes an SS and at other times an RS. Must be one of those Transformers.
I’d also bet money that the picture of the Benelli M3 and M1014 on the blue mat are GI Joe toys. Not only do I know those kind of rubber grip mats don’t have perforations that aren’t as large as a receiver unit, but also they look super fake.
January 17th, 2012 at 9:55 pm
25 and graduated HS 13 years ago? So he’s a SF Major named Doogie Howser, huh?
January 17th, 2012 at 10:16 pm
It appears the page is no longer there. Gee, wonder why…
January 17th, 2012 at 11:48 pm
Let’s not be too hard on people who like Cohibas…although I highly recommend the Arturo Fuente Rosado Sungrown collection. Fantastic smoke at a very reasonable price.
January 18th, 2012 at 1:50 am
Serious question. Does anyone know of any studies done on these types to explain how they think they can make these outlandish claims and not get called on it? I really would like to know what they’re thinking. Soup Sandwich, son of Soup Sandwich, Gunny Lard Ass, etc., are they that delusional? Kinda scary.
January 18th, 2012 at 8:31 am
@36: I used to buy the Arturo Fuente curley head maduro’s as my poker playing stogie of choice. I have had 1 authentic Cuban Cohiba in my life and thought it was one of the best cigars out there, but then my cigar references are very limited since I don’t sample a whole lot of them (I find one I like and usually stay with it, instead of spending a bunch of money on stogies I don’t like in an effort to find one I do).
As for the Corey Haim clone…..he’s such a joke I’m not even upset by him at this point.
January 18th, 2012 at 9:37 am
$5 says he’s queer as a $3 bill
January 18th, 2012 at 9:47 am
#39 Doc, the proper term is not “queer,” but “Democrat” as in “$5 says he’s as Democrat as a $3 bill.”
January 19th, 2012 at 4:01 pm
his facebook is back up. no changes or “corrections”. same shit.
January 26th, 2012 at 2:03 pm
U.S. Army Special Forces Command?
1. It’s called USASOC (U.S. Army Special Operations Command)
2. There’s no such thing as an 18A reservist
Way too easy.
January 26th, 2012 at 2:04 pm
10 years TIS is not required for Major. When I pinned (primary zone) in 2010, I had 9 years, 6 months TIS. It’s possible to pin BZ with just under 9 years TOS.
January 26th, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Either way, David–does that guy look 31 to you?
And an officer with earrings? Oh, ithn’t that justh thpeshul!!!
January 26th, 2012 at 2:10 pm
I’ve seen male officers with earrings out of uniform…they didn’t look like Jersey Shore rejects though.
January 27th, 2012 at 10:02 am
@ #27, You can look up the MOS structure of any service and find it online. Hell, check out the ArmA 2 “Realism Unit” at http://www.sfod-delta.com, they make their players pick and mos when they join the team.
This kid also made a note on his page (viewable by friends only) that he was going to make a new profile with the name “Titan Kronos” or someshit like that.
March 6th, 2012 at 2:10 am
The only Major this kid will ever be is of the douchebag variety.
April 15th, 2012 at 3:56 am
now his fb profile is Mike Saturn. He also plays on xbox as xSFx Kronos or xSFx Saturn.
April 16th, 2012 at 12:16 pm
he has real fb account Dillon Herman he was born in 1992 you can tell it’s him because profile pic is same as a pic on Mike Saturn
June 11th, 2012 at 8:43 am
Michael Dillon Herman, age 16 goes to Fresno High School. Those pictures are supposedly his cousin or something. That is the real ”commando”
July 5th, 2012 at 10:24 am
[...] Mike “The dirty Cohiba sucking Major” Kronos [...]
July 5th, 2012 at 11:25 pm
[...] Mike “The dirty Cohiba sucking Major” Kronos [...]
August 10th, 2012 at 9:22 am
Is that kid even old enough to shave? He probably has one of those Playskool ‘Shave Along With Daddy’ plastic jobs that little kids use.
Wow. They’re getting younger and younger, it seems.
September 3rd, 2012 at 4:10 pm
This Kid hardly even deserves to be called a poser. Right off the bat anyone can tell he isn’t a service member. Full of shit? yes…. I am much more concerned about a 30-60 year old guy with a fake dd214, an album of photos with uniforms on and a penchant for ripping off veteran’s groups and the VA then punk ass kids on facebook.
September 11th, 2012 at 12:55 pm
It’s just a matter of time before this kid totally immerses himself in CoD/Xbox wargames and convinces himself he did several combat tours, finds a DD214 he can fake, and assume the rank of Major. We’ll see him pop up again somewhere unless someone checks his ass.
October 18th, 2012 at 10:20 pm
Rent Boy.
I will leave it to you to decide how he makes his money.
Felching Turd.
October 18th, 2012 at 11:57 pm
Since when does any branch of the service let men wear earrings?
I’ve seen them on guys in the merchant marine, who got them for crossing the equator — something about Neptune’s trident. Never elsewhere.
December 27th, 2012 at 11:40 pm
“Ranger” Burrell’s evening entertainment.
December 28th, 2012 at 12:39 am
WTF? All my extra Major money goes for dance lessons, piano lessons, gymnatics lessons and just recently ukelele lessons for my 2 girls
I’m doing something wrong
January 19th, 2013 at 7:29 pm
Looks like General Lee Retarded got demoted to Major Lee Retarded
February 3rd, 2013 at 9:22 pm
This guy was/is currently being sexually abused by his Jon.
Just an observation.
April 20th, 2013 at 6:58 pm
The pictures that guy is using belong to a European model names Thomas Chad Smith. The model also goes by Thomas Martin. This person is definitely a fake.