Meet Sgt. Major Ronald Mailahn, the youngest Marine SGM

| May 19, 2013 | 817 Comments

Bumped back up to the top because Mailahn wants us to take it down. He threatened us with a law suit until I sent him our attorney’s email address and now he just wants me to be cool (You used to be cool). Just some background; he’s ALLEGEDLY behind on child support, he ALLEGEDLY stole $12k from his daughter’s Little League Association. He ALLEGEDLY got fired for making $800 worth of phone calls from the fire station where he worked for phone sex – but I’m the reason he can’t find a job.

Lately, every time I try to be a nice guy, I get it stuck right in my ass, so those days have passed and Mailman is a fixture here. I think he started in again because the Stolen Valor Tournament is gearing up this week and he’s shooting for another one seed. But he even failed at winning the tourney last year.

Yeah, that’s Sgt. Major Ronald Mailahn who claims to be the youngest sergeant major in the Marine Corps. He’d have to be with only nine years in the Corps, according to his hash marks on the sleeve. The good folks at POW Network decided that he needed broader exposure so they sent him to us.

They tell us he’s a 43-year-old car salesman who lives in his mother’s basement. He was a fireman until he ran up the firehouse phonebill with more than $800 in telephone calls to phone sex numbers and they fired his horny ass. According to his own profiles, he graduated from high school when he was 20 years old – a real over-achiever.

Did I mention that he was arrested for embezzling over $12,000 from the Barrington New Jersey girls little league association? Well, he did – that over-achiever thing working for him again. his defense in that case? He’s a Marine and he’d never violate his code of ethics and do something like that.

Well except that the NPRC has no record of him ever serving. Ever.

He has a philosophy that the more websites that he posts this information, the more credibility he has. So here’s his information posted on yet another website. let’s see how that philosophy works for him.

Oh, by the way, he just sent the good folks at POW Network an email threatening to…guess what…sue if they don’t remove the information from their website that he himself posted on the internet;

U have my info on your site I want it removed asap I gave no permission to have any of my info pix or anything on your site I would also like to have the name of whoever put my name on there I have the collingswood police dept looking into to who put it up there but I want it removed forthwith

I’m sure that “forthwith” had Chuck and Mary shaking in their shoes. I know it gave me a feeling.

I will keep sending u my request till u do oh and I contacted my lawer if its not down with in 2s hrs I will sue u

If I ever start typing like a twelve-year-old girl, I’d hope that one of you fine people would put me out of my misery.

So, now his “info pix” are posted on yet another website…I wonder what his “lawer” will advise. I’d better call my “lawer” and tell him that there will be one more in the “I’m here to sue TAH” line at the Mineral County Courthouse next Tuesday.

Category: Phony soldiers

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  1. rob in NH says:

    Wow, can I get any punctuation here Pat???

    …that’s Pat Sajak…

    Damn it, I hate when I come up with something so witty, then have to explain it to everyone because it’s only in my head…

  2. one who also knows says:

    South Jersey News | Courier-Post |

  3. Valkyrie says:

    Going over this thread again I’ve got to say it’s has some of the best sentences ever. I think they should be preserved for prosperity.

    He was an unstoppable juggernaught of douchedom.
    Cheetah stud dance.
    Birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

    Just wonderful!

  4. Ex-PH2 says:

    I can’t get past the “spiking the seats in the ladies’ bathroom” without imploding.

  5. Valkyrie says:

    Dang I forgot that one.

  6. A Proud Infidel says:

    I still bet he couldn’t even get laid in a Women’s Prison, thus his having to resort to “spiking the seats in the Ladies’ Room”! DAMN, I’m gonna have to steal that one!

  7. truth be told says:

    Ronnie you truly are a pussy. A dumb one at that! so you weight 225 and you bench 175. You’re not only fat but you’re a pussy. You cant even bench you’re won body weight. Hey Gunny Deadbeat I know what you are doing so get ready to have those chrome bracelets put back on. I can only hope your cell mate is as affectionate as your bunkmate was. If you polish his german helmet maybe he’ll help you make the bed. Enjoy fraud boy!!

  8. Anonymous says:

    Y do u guys pic on me. I wuz a Sargant Major in the Marine Core so u peepul should stand at ful attenshun when u are insulting me. I is not stoopid. I am smart like my mommy. I wouldn’t be hear of she didn’t stic holes in duh rubber. My uniform is real. eBay never sells fake shit. You better take down my felony history off ur site. The fat moose I’m molesting doesn’t no that I am a fraud. So take it down before I get my lawer and bench 72 pounds and sew you people

  9. NHSparky says:

    Okay, that was funny. I can see Ronald coming here and going, “I dunt spel that bad!”

  10. one who also knows says:

    good lord this is some funny shit

  11. PtolemyInEgypt says:

    Youse our costing me job oppertuinitys. I will sue u

  12. Sparks says:

    LMAO You guys make me feel good after a surgery appointment! This guy is so good. Maybe he could get a job making those great NYC bacon and egg glazed donuts.

  13. Dan says:

    HI I’m master gunnery corporal and I’m a submarine door gunner! lmao

  14. NHSparky says:

    Dan…door gunner was my collateral duty on my first boat. I don’t know how many times I had a chance to unload on Ivan but couldn’t because those fuckin idiot A-gangers didn’t do the PMS on the screen doors…

    (BTW–I really have nothing against A-gangers. I think every nuke should own one.)

  15. Mike F. says:

    I just spent an hour and 23 minutes reading this thread.

    I will treasure this memory for the rest of my life.

  16. MGySgt says:

    I’m not even sure how I got this website but, it certainly made me laugh! Thanks!

  17. TheCloser says:

    MGySgt- If you thought that was funny…

  18. CWORet says:

    Jeez. Him again. Oh well, it’s still funny. Just like fart jokes. Wife hates it, but they’re as funny now as they were when I was giggling lad…

  19. A Proud Infidel says:

    Ron Mailboy is someone who could get his ass whipped by a Tribble!

  20. NHSparky says:

    @775…naw, I just ate some ice cream…

    Seriously, we need a TAH jokes page. Clean page and NSFW page.

  21. Green Thumb says:


  22. Carol says:

    Can’t anyone spare just one bullet for this guy?
    it fits perfectly in this guys head.
    As sooner he’s taken off his days as better.

  23. GCM in front of Navy Commendation Medal? Button missing from Gunny’s coat? No creases? Two different ranks, gunny and SM? Don’t know what the big deal is…

    • Phil Millard says:

      iwishiwasaseal…that would be Master Gunnery Sergeant and a Sergeant Major… in reality he’s just another fucking poser waiting to get his ass handed to him by a REAL Marine.

  24. one who knows says:

    Ron Mailahn Jr.

    November 11 near Collingswood via mobile.

    Happy Veterans Day to the greatest vets to ever serve my dad and pop.
    Dad was in Nam
    And pop was at Pearl Harbor .
    There no longer with is
    Thanks guys love u both and miss u both

  25. one who knows says:

    Ron Mailahn Jr.

    November 11 near Collingswood via mobile.

    I was proud to serve this country for 5 yrs in the US Army — feeling accomplished.

  26. Jal_67 says:

    Guys, please stop refering to ass clowns like this by the rank they claim…just call him Ron Mailahn Jr, Turd burglar who lives in mommys basement.

  27. pawn65 says:

    Let’s have a CAR and not have ribbons/medals for the pistol and rifle qualifications!

  28. Monty Miller says:

    I’m not sure about the rest of you, but I ALWAYS wear my Combat Action Ribbon upside-down… just like Top, here.

  29. zonked says:

    Check it out /eaglesx34 on your facebook search, this guy is a tool chest minus all the tools. it says on his facebook page he was in the army as heavy equipment operator. I come from a long line of military service in my family. I can at least say I served my time with pride and honor, the shit this guy pulls is worthy of 100mph tape, a tall ladder, an even taller light pole, a couple of gallons of tar, and a few down pillows. that and about eight hours stuck to a light pole might enlighten him.

  30. Laura Chase says:

    Ok, that uniform is ATE UP. Do I see a red t-shirt under there? Smh…

  31. Shawn says:

    Was he mussing uis shtmaj stripes in his blues on his left sude? And in his deltas he had a red tshirt on

  32. SPC4 says:

    Can we please organise a blanket party for this sh*tstain?

  33. Pineywoods NCO says:

    I must have to say first of all, this wannabe has some issues with uniform and such and the fact of being a total assholic dipshit. But everyone, I have to ask this question and see what you all think?

    What sergeant major (or equivalent) in any branch of the military would take a selfie looking like that, or taking a selfie of any kind? I think my cat could literally take a leak on him and it would be an improvement.

  34. We didn’t wear red tee shirts > Did not wear cover inside. Pure P.O.S.

  35. eagle says:

    As a civiliian.. how is the correct order for ribbons determined?

  36. Green Thumb says:

    Phildo’s chauffeur.

  37. ronald says:

    Gotta love the red shirt under the blues. A dishonor to the REAL men and women who proudly wear the Marine Corps uniform

  38. D Black says:

    1 hash mark= 4 Years
    Good Conduct Medal every 3 years with no NJPS.

  39. Jeremy says:

    What a POS disrespecting the men and women of the Marine Corps and all other branches of the military who have gave all by losing there life for this country. By putting on a uniform thats half ass and being a poser. Next time do your dam research and wear the uniform the correct way, or better yet join the Military and earn the dam right to wear it.

  40. Chris Breck says:

    This slug would not make a pimple and a real marines ass.

  41. Cody says:

    Whoa whoa whoa whoa stop everybody stop has nobody noticed he is wearing a name tag as a former marine got out 8 months ago I know that army wears them but not devils especially not in the sacred charlie uniform rahhh Cpl. Young

  42. Steve Bell says:

    This has got to be the most disrespectful piece of garbage I’ve ever seen!

  43. Ricky Small says:

    I know 1, 2 or 50 of my Marine Buddies who would love to kick the sh*t outta this turd.

    Cpl. RA Small, USMC 0311 1/7, Suicide Charley Co, 3rd Platoon, 1998-2002. Google it, kid!

    And no, I’m not the world’s youngest Corporal but I’m definitely the coolest! HAHA

  44. As a retired Marine of 22 years and having the pleasure of serving as the Commandant of the Marine Corps (General Al Gray) Communications Chief during Gulf War I under President Bush (the father), I’ll say this is one big TURD.

    I was also involved with the FBI during the very beginnings of the writing of the Stolen Valor Act. One of the other turds that I busted can be read at

    Now, this turd isn’t near as hard as he’s, well, just real stupid. He’s almost suicidal if he thinks nothing will happen to him if even ONE Marine gets a hold of him physically for about 5 minutes.

    Anyway, I already forwarded his crap to the Commandant’s office to see where this will go. As the blind man said – “I guess we’ll see.”

    Semper Fi and let’s keep finding this pukes and running them down.

    • Private Citizen says:

      Here’s his address if it helps.

      XXX Taylor XXXXX
      XXX, NJ 08107-XXXX

      Editor Note: We don’t post addresses and phone numbers here for the protection of innocent parties.

      • Fjardeson says:

        Also recommend blanking out the ZIP+4, Google search on “08107-1720″ showed a hit on 2nd search result :)

    • ExHack says:

      Excellent work, Master Sergeant, and thank you for your excellent service to our Nation. If you are new here, you’ve found a happy home among other warriors and those of us who honor you.

  45. Tom Walker says:

    I’m around a lot of Marines while doing Honor Guard Duty with the American Legion to honor our fallen veteran heroes and I have never seen one Marine dress as shoddily at this poser. He should be ashamed of himself. The ribbons I ware were earned. Was his? Can you say “Stolen Valor Act of 2005 (109th Congress)” and time in Levenworth, KS. The Marines would love him there. There are not enough push-ups. Go ahead and sue and make our day. The legal discovery process would be, just, most interesting.

  46. Joe says:

    Well, I’m coming in here kinda late, I guess, but as an old Marine from way back when, let me offer my idea about how to handle this obvious poser: I think that this POS should be required to go to the SNCO Club at Camp Pendleton, walk in dressed as he is in these photos, sit down and order a drink. I’m pretty sure that justice would be done very shortly, and no one would bother calling the MP’s. Problem solved.

  47. Phil Millard says:

    Joe, I’m an old Marine from way back when too (1969-1975), and I like your idea, except let it be the 1-2-3 bar, the troops need a good laugh and some fun too.

    BTW, if this POS is a SgtMaj, I’m the first ever (and only) 9 Star General Admiral of the United States Marine Corps Navy Air Force (I’d claim the Army to, but that would piss off McArthur, and I don’t want to be haunted by his egotistical ghost).

  48. Just Some Guy from NY says:

    I’m very late to this party, and I found my way here by way of a thread elsewhere about the Fake Airport Marine.

    I’ve never served, but i am very grateful for the men and women of our military, and the sacrifices made for our freedom and our way of life.

    Thank you all for your service. Even you Air Force guys.

    Having said that. This guy is a POS. As a non-Marine I’d toss him a beating myself – just to save you guys the trouble of getting your hands dirty. You’ve got bigger problems to solve.

    As a side note, when I went to DC a couple of years ago, I made sure to take my wife and (then 10 year old)daughter to Arlington. They got the message about the time we were walking back from JFK’s grave. “These people died for our freedom, right Daddy?”. So FWIW people, we understand and respect you, and at least one kid understands that we we have isn’t free.

    Thank you again.

  49. One who knows says:

    Ron the Turd Burglar update. Not paying his child support. Lost yet another job, this one after one week. Goes by the name JR Ewing now on his Fetlife website. He’s busy claiming to be a wealthy businessman from Dallas who wants both men and women to tie him up. Still living in his Mommy’s ONE bedroom apartment (against the bylaws of the complex) with his Mommy. Who pays all his bills. He’s rounded himself up a desperate older woman as his girlfriend who believes ass his lies and thinks we have made all this up about her poor Ronnie.

  50. mike says:

    His ribbons are out of order too, as a Chief in the Navy I’m pretty sure you NAM, comes before your CAR, just saying.

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