The round Marine

| April 3, 2012

Chris sent us this picture so we can put out an APB on the turd roller;

He looks like may have eaten a Marine once, in fact there might a couple buried in his neck fat. What’s with the phonies thinking they can get away with wearing the SEAL Trident lately? And isn’t the EOD badge an Army badge? I guess the boy thinks he can mix and match service appurtenances like Soup.

Anyway, someone must know this guy out there. We need a name and an address so we can pull his records and embarrass the shit out of him. But we’ll never be able to embarrass him as much as he’s embarrassed us.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (231)

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  1. Ex-PH2 says:

    Okay, if he went to the Naval Academy, it must have been a visit to the parking lot, for several reasons listed below.

    A – The age range is 17 to 23 years of age. Period.

    B – Candidates must be unmarried (singles), not pregnant and have no dependents.

    No matter how you turn the page on this clown, he didn’t go to the Naval Academy, period.

  2. OWB says:

    If I am reading this correctly, we have the original poser who is the subject of this post, we have an embellishing clown by the named Mark Tiemann, and there is a chance that they are one and the same?

    Sounds rather like this Mark Tiemann guy needs his own topic. Or at least his own investigation. That’s some pretty good asshattery he’s pimping right there!

  3. 68W58 says:

    In the picture of the round Marine from the birthday ball you can clearly see a hearing aid in his left ear. We need a picture of Tiemann’s left ear to check and see if he wears one.

  4. Just an old dog says:

    Mark Tiemann is just a small blip on the screen of shitbaggery right nowm unless of course he is “The Round Marine”.
    From his own picture on Facebook it looks like he would have served in the early to mid 80s. It looks like a photo that was cut out of a cruise book.
    The time frame for him getting into the Naval Accademy is simply ludicrious.
    And by the way, The Naval Academy does Commission Marine 2nd Lts.

  5. ArmyATC says:

    On his Facebook timeline, Mark Tiemann claims to be a retired MGySgt in a post dated 10 November 2103. So this clown may be the Round Marine?

  6. OWB says:

    That’s just one of many problems with these clowns. You just never know what all they are into until you take a look at them. May be nothing (comparatively) with this Tiemann character, but there are a lot of red flags.

  7. Brownwolf says:

    @213 ArmyATC,

    Confirmed, I also see that MGySgt Tiemann Ret. you referrened on his Facebook posting from November 10, 2013.

  8. Green Thumb says:


    That’s funny.

  9. Brownwolf says:

    How do I get a link to that already shared FB image with his “MGySgt Tiemann Ret.” To this page? I took a screen grab but I try and get a link it strips his shared commentary. :-(

    • Jonn Lilyea says:

      Just so you guys know, we’re working Tiemann thing, but we’d rather not publish anything until we’re absolutely sure about it. We appreciate the help, but tone it down a bit and keep the tips in email. I have screen shots of some of this stuff too. But if it goes south I don’t want an innocent man to suffer.

  10. Sparks says:

    @218 Roger that Jonn.

  11. Brownwolf says:

    Someone in Las Cruces by the name of Mark Tiemann previously had civil problems (Debt and Money Due) and a pair of vehicular Criminal charges (minor stuff).

    Type his name to find him;

  12. Brownwolf says:


    You have my permission to delete or hide all my stuff.

  13. Sparks says:

    Link to Mark W. Tiemann Owner
    Las Curces, NM

    Has a Federal License as well. From what I can tell. Have no idea if it is the same (our) guy or not

  14. Brownwolf says:


    Isn’t a USMC MGySgt also called a “Master Guns” or “Master Gunny” by the Marines? Hint, hint. šŸ˜‰

  15. PRCS Ret. says:

    That’s really freakin’ amazing. For sheer mass of ribbons, he may have Soup Sandwich beat.

  16. Lisa says:

    I found this on

    He served in Desert Storm. Mark Wayne Tiemann 5811, MSSG-11

  17. James says:

    Semper Fudge !

  18. Hack Stone says:

    I was talking to a coworker about one of the funniest movies ever, I’m Gonna Get You, Sucka, and there is a line repeated throughout the film appropriate for this situation: How does he go to the bathroom with all that shit on?

  19. jacob says:

    Lol this guy is more decorated than Chesty Puller

  20. Big Steve says:

    God. Can’t some of these guys look in a mirror and realize they look nothing like the type of individuals they are trying to impersonate????

    This guy is one of the better examples of that.