The round Marine

| April 3, 2012

Updated; We found him.

Chris sent us this picture so we can put out an APB on the turd roller;

He looks like may have eaten a Marine once, in fact there might a couple buried in his neck fat. What’s with the phonies thinking they can get away with wearing the SEAL Trident lately? And isn’t the EOD badge an Army badge? I guess the boy thinks he can mix and match service appurtenances like Soup.

Anyway, someone must know this guy out there. We need a name and an address so we can pull his records and embarrass the shit out of him. But we’ll never be able to embarrass him as much as he’s embarrassed us.

Updated; We found him.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (231)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

Sites That Link to this Post

  1. Anonymous | March 3, 2014
  1. Brownwolf says:


    Mark Wayne Tiemann has several inconsistencies on his Facebook. On his about section, he was married in 1987 and graduated from the USNA in 1996 – there is no service detailed thereafter. Also, on his Intelius report, it reports him as currently 47 years of age, meaning that he was possibly born 1966, which means he was 30 when he started as a cadet at the Academy. Furthermore, he started as a married cadet and with a six-year old dependent. His Facebook timeline does not line up with reality.

  2. Hondo says:

    Dunno, Ex-PH2. The RM (Round Marine) is pretty big. Could be the same guy.

  3. Brownwolf says:

    A better, befitting name would be “Sir Cumference – The Inconsistent Marine.” My two cents.

  4. Ex-PH2 says:

    Hondo, it’s the slope from below the neckline to the tire around the waistline, plus a couple of other things. Some facial features don’t change a lot in someone who is very overweight. Also, Tierman has a longer height between the waistline tire and his chin than the Round Marine.

    Like I said, the simplest thing to do is find out where he appeared at the Marine Corps ball with his DD214 last year, because he did and someone got a shot of him. Then put out the word to get a shot of it on a phone BEFORE he’s turned away. Either that, or tell him to wait, go make a photocopy, and then return it to him saying, ‘Sorry, no can do.’ Then scan the photocopy and get it to Mary or to Jonn or Scotty.

  5. Ex-PH2 says:

    Here’s a reference for that:

    It was posted above. He’s in Las Cruces, NM.

  6. Ex-PH2 says:

    Here’s a link to the photo from November 2012, when he was turned away from the birthday ball.

  7. Brownwolf says:

    Oops, I meant to write that Mark Wayne Tiemann graduated from the USNA in 1998; even-though, he started in 1996 when he was at least 30. His Facebook about page states is retired but doesn’t say when or how long he served after his USNA graduation.

    According to Intelius, his former addresses were in: Yucaipa, CA; Murrieta, CA; Hobbs, NM; and Las Cruces, NM. Yucaipa is near Twentynine Palms, a USMC base.

    • USNA90 says:

      wrt “Mark Wayne Tiemann graduated from the USNA in 1998” married before USNA, etc. etc. I am a grad, you cannot be married and attend USNA, you cannot be over approx 24 when you join, etc. He did not go to USNA … which you all probably figured out by now.

  8. Brownwolf says:

    I just found this old article from November 1987 and it has a small blurb about a USMC Corporal by the name of Mark Tiemann of Hobbs, NM, half-way down the page;

  9. Ex-PH2 says:

    Okay, if he went to the Naval Academy, it must have been a visit to the parking lot, for several reasons listed below.

    A – The age range is 17 to 23 years of age. Period.

    B – Candidates must be unmarried (singles), not pregnant and have no dependents.

    No matter how you turn the page on this clown, he didn’t go to the Naval Academy, period.

  10. OWB says:

    If I am reading this correctly, we have the original poser who is the subject of this post, we have an embellishing clown by the named Mark Tiemann, and there is a chance that they are one and the same?

    Sounds rather like this Mark Tiemann guy needs his own topic. Or at least his own investigation. That’s some pretty good asshattery he’s pimping right there!

  11. 68W58 says:

    In the picture of the round Marine from the birthday ball you can clearly see a hearing aid in his left ear. We need a picture of Tiemann’s left ear to check and see if he wears one.

  12. Just an old dog says:

    Mark Tiemann is just a small blip on the screen of shitbaggery right nowm unless of course he is “The Round Marine”.
    From his own picture on Facebook it looks like he would have served in the early to mid 80s. It looks like a photo that was cut out of a cruise book.
    The time frame for him getting into the Naval Accademy is simply ludicrious.
    And by the way, The Naval Academy does Commission Marine 2nd Lts.

  13. ArmyATC says:

    On his Facebook timeline, Mark Tiemann claims to be a retired MGySgt in a post dated 10 November 2103. So this clown may be the Round Marine?

  14. OWB says:

    That’s just one of many problems with these clowns. You just never know what all they are into until you take a look at them. May be nothing (comparatively) with this Tiemann character, but there are a lot of red flags.

  15. Brownwolf says:

    @213 ArmyATC,

    Confirmed, I also see that MGySgt Tiemann Ret. you referrened on his Facebook posting from November 10, 2013.

  16. Green Thumb says:


    That’s funny.

  17. Brownwolf says:

    How do I get a link to that already shared FB image with his “MGySgt Tiemann Ret.” To this page? I took a screen grab but I try and get a link it strips his shared commentary. ๐Ÿ™

    • Jonn Lilyea says:

      Just so you guys know, we’re working Tiemann thing, but we’d rather not publish anything until we’re absolutely sure about it. We appreciate the help, but tone it down a bit and keep the tips in email. I have screen shots of some of this stuff too. But if it goes south I don’t want an innocent man to suffer.

  18. Sparks says:

    @218 Roger that Jonn.

  19. Brownwolf says:

    Someone in Las Cruces by the name of Mark Tiemann previously had civil problems (Debt and Money Due) and a pair of vehicular Criminal charges (minor stuff).

    Type his name to find him;

  20. Brownwolf says:


    You have my permission to delete or hide all my stuff.

  21. Sparks says:

    Link to Mark W. Tiemann Owner
    Las Curces, NM

    Has a Federal License as well. From what I can tell. Have no idea if it is the same (our) guy or not

  22. Brownwolf says:


    Isn’t a USMC MGySgt also called a “Master Guns” or “Master Gunny” by the Marines? Hint, hint. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  23. PRCS Ret. says:

    That’s really freakin’ amazing. For sheer mass of ribbons, he may have Soup Sandwich beat.

  24. Lisa says:

    I found this on

    He served in Desert Storm. Mark Wayne Tiemann 5811, MSSG-11

  25. James says:

    Semper Fudge !

  26. Hack Stone says:

    I was talking to a coworker about one of the funniest movies ever, I’m Gonna Get You, Sucka, and there is a line repeated throughout the film appropriate for this situation: How does he go to the bathroom with all that shit on?

  27. jacob says:

    Lol this guy is more decorated than Chesty Puller

  28. Big Steve says:

    God. Can’t some of these guys look in a mirror and realize they look nothing like the type of individuals they are trying to impersonate????

    This guy is one of the better examples of that.