Call of Duty/MEPS Ranger

| April 20, 2012 | 48 Comments

Christopher and Mitch sent us this video of a MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) officer talking to some shiny new recruits.

He tells them “If you’ve seen it on Call of Duty, I’ve done it.” Yeah, because it sounds so cool to be a video game character. Anyway, a commenter at YouTube recognizes him;

This fat douche is full of it! Jeremey Gumeringer. He served one deployment with 8-1 CAV in Afghanistan as the Troop XO.? As an Armor officer who has served in both Iraq and Afghanistan, I am embarrassed for him to wear my branch insignia. I am embarrassed that he is wearing a Stetson and Spurs. Less bragging, more running Fatty!

“If you’ve seen it on Call of Duty, I’ve done it” WTF?! Is he serious?

AKO says he’s an armor captain. So I’m sure he’s done all of the things he says he’s done – all with his hands in his pockets. And he should put down the game controller for a minute and do some PT. I didn’t know they made ACUs in that size. Maybe the shirt is two woobies sown together.

Why isn’t the LA Times reporting on this atrocity?

Category: Shitbags

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  1. TopGoz says:

    “I am a decorated war hero.” Just saying that proves you’re not.
    I have to wonder if he was playing pocket pool the whole time he was practicing this spiel in the mirror, just like he is here.
    And this is supposed to convince these young kids that they made the right decision?

  2. Old Tanker says:

    Fer Chrissakes…..the “Tank” has been playing way too much Call of Duty himself.

    Try running and go for the “Fall of Booty” lardass….must need to grease up to get through the TC hatch…

  3. 68W58 says:

    I have eaten twinkies, oh so many twinkies, thousands of twinkies all in the exact same mouth,

  4. Steadfast&Loyal says:

    He was there. He has seen the elephant…..and eaten it.

    He was the last man of his outfit when charlie was beating at the door of the Green Bean. The ice cream machine was broke and they were all out of milk

    Those were hellish days. He’s lucky to be alive.

  5. don says:

    “I”…{snort}…”am”…{chortle}… “a”… {giggity}… “decorated”…{mmmmmpffff}…”War Hero”. Bwahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pleaseopleaseoplease I hope there are more of these vids of him that surface. This can not be the first time he did it.

  6. Beretverde says:

    A Patton wannabe who projects himself on innocent recruits. I hope this video will be a career killer for this “killer.”

  7. Hondo says:

    Don’t think this kind of BS needs to go to the USAMEPSCOM commander – his BN Cdr is probably high enough level. Anyone know what MEPS station this tool gave this speech at?

  8. lucky says:

    As a combat vet, and newly appointed Platoon SGT, I will freely admit that I many times have my hands in my pockets… Deployment habits die hard! Especially as reservists, and we can be a little too familiar with some of our soldiers, its a strength that the reserve and Junior Varsity (NG) have. But back on subject, what a fat piece of turd!!!!!! God, I would not follow that fat fuck into battle, and as his PLT SGT, I would expect him to set the example. Otherwise I would PT the platoon until he couldn’t handle it.

  9. Bobo says:

    Combat arms captain at MEPS. “Sick joke that I’m here but, whatever.” Not on BN staff, not in command, no where near soldiers in his MOS. That’s all that needs to be said.

  10. Hondo says:

    Technology is sometimes a very good thing.

    Managed to find the e-mail addresses of his the Phoenix MEPS Station and 7th MEPS Battalion Commanders (comments on YouTube indicate that the induhvidual works out of the Phoenix MEPS station).

    Shot, over.

  11. NHSparky says:

    Thankfully, most of the officers I dealt with when I was recruiting came nowhere near this level of douchebaggery. The CRF’ers, OTOH…

  12. DirtSquid says:

    I won’t say anything about the hands in the pockets thing, because that’s where my dick-skinners live for the most part. However this dude is a turd and the hands in the pockets are the least of his problems. Fat? Check. Egotistical? Check. Phony “Hero?” Check.
    Anyone who refers to themselves as a “hero” is surely not one. Anyone who’s deployed for real knows that Call Of Duty isn’t the military, or a real deployment. What next, he’s going to bring out his Airsoft campaign ribbons? “Man you should have been at the battle of the Reno Fun plex…war is hell.”
    It’s one thing to motivate juniors, or when teaching to tell them HOW or WHY what you’re telling them is “real world” applicable, but this guy is a turd through and through.
    #9 is absolutely correct. The Army stuffed him at some random MEPS to keep him from screwing the pooch too bad at a command level. What a joke of a Soldier.

  13. AndyN says:

    My older son is finishing his sophomore year in high school and has just started seriously considering joining the USMC after he graduates. He’s a bright kid with a level head on his shoulders, but I’ve still felt compelled to tell him a few times that actually serving is NOTHING like he’s seen in CoD.

    I wonder if this guy’s really that delusional, or if he just thinks the recruits are morons.

  14. Hondo says:

    AndyN: My assessment is that he’s just full of himself – as well as a well-known brown malodorous compound.

  15. Virtual Insanity says:

    Good God.

    My dad did the last 13 years of his career in Army Recruiting Command. This is exactly the type of officer that drove him insane.

    Wish the old man could have been there to clean him up.

  16. Before I retired, I lost track of how many classes or briefings I sat through where somebody talked shit like that..the problem was- I knew they had either never deployed, or they were a REMF.

  17. SIGO says:

    @8: Please dispense with the junior varsity (NG) crap… Lord knows the Guard and Reserve has deployed more than Active Duty lately

  18. “Sick joke that I’m here…, but I’m still collecting a paycheck.” What a sad leader.

    I went from a Scout Squadron doing Scout sh*t, to a PTRP Company in TRADOC at Knox. Not even processing, broke soldiers who are healing! What an adjustment. I took that assignment, as much as I didn’t want it, and set an example on those processing soldiers. I would never talk down about my position. I used my experience and led as an experienced NCO.

    And I ONLY wore my spurs and stetson for ceremonial purposes, as prescribed by the current commander (or drunk at the house showing off to the wife).

    What a steaming pile of dicks. Emberrassing.

  19. MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) says:

    OMG. I am pissed. A humble thank you and symbolic passing of the torch would have been ample. This man needs to be relieved soonest! What bothers me most is that the ficticious body bags he referred to, if true, could have contained the remains a relative of one of those young men. What a class A jack ass. Does anyone have his email address? He deserve a MCPO style despondant email form me. Geezus Kreest!

  20. PowerPoint Ranger says:

    Maybe he was talking about doing all of the things seen in this version of CoD:MW3?

    http://www.joystiq.com/2009/11/10/the-onion-reveals-modern-warfare-3-most-realistic-military-ex/

  21. MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) says:

    Another thing why in the hell is this moron walking around in circles, wearing spurs, with his hands in his pockets? What … does he have a twisted nut or something … and he needs to fix it before he gets back on his donkey that is tied up outside? Gumm Dagget! I am pissed!

  22. lucky says:

    SIGO, I am a Reservist, you would see that if you read the post correctly. That was me good naturedly poking fun at the Nasty Girls. Take a chill pill. The guy is a douche and any kind of statements such as he made should be immediately corrected by the MEPS SGM/CSM.

  23. NHSparky says:

    I wonder if this guy’s really that delusional, or if he just thinks the recruits are morons.

    This is a case of, “Why either/or? Why not both?”

  24. SIGO says:

    @lucky (23): I am too and I am sick/tired of our own calling ourselves Junior Varsity. It’s not funny anymore.

  25. CI says:

    Since YT is blocked at work….I finally got a chance to see this. What I find worse than his “I’m a commando” speechifying, is that it is clearly rehearsed. This douche has laid the thick manure on more than one group of unsuspecting boots.

    He needs to be confronted in a dark alley, or a VFW made to grovel and apologize for sullying the honor of those who serve and have served as professionals.

  26. NHSparky says:

    I honestly wonder if the Battalion XO/CO or the MEPS commander have seen any of this assclown’s work. I would certainly hope if they have, they take this “officer” aside and make him sit in the car and don’t let him touch the radio the rest of the time he’s there.

  27. lucky says:

    SIGO, to be clear I was calling the Guard junior varsity, dude its a joke, I mean why so serious? Try laughing before you have a coronary.

  28. Hondo says:

    NHSparky: I advised his MEPS station commander and MEPS battalion commander of this via e-mail (see my comment #11 above). Whether they’ve read their e-mail and/or taken action I can’t say.

  29. Yat Yas 1833 says:

    @11Hondo, this time I’m not gonna let you talk me out of it! On Monday I WILL be at the MEPS, what the hell was wrong with AFEES?, station to talk to someone. My great-nephew will be joining in June/July and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let some piece of shit like this be his CO.

  30. SIGO says:

    @lucky: Still not laughing. It’s not funny. Frankly, it is insulting.

    BTW, someone please put this Captain on Army WCP ASAP or put him out. He’s a disgrace to the Officer corps.

  31. Yat Yas 1833 says:

    SIGO, not trying to start a fight or anything but are you Guard/Reservist? If so, are you going to consider two days a month and two week a year equal to doing it 365/24/7? You consider that an insult?

    If you do, how many family events did you miss? Did you miss your LATE eldest son’s kindergarten graduation? Did you miss your younger son’s kindergarten graduation? Did you miss the birth of your daughter?

    As I’ve said in other posts, be proud of your service. Active, Reserve, Guard…doesn’t matter. Just don’t try to make it more than it was/is. We all have our own reasons for choosing our status, live with it.

  32. Methinks SIGO is embarassed about his choice of service branch. While deployed ALL troops are active duty. But then the NG and Reserves get to come home to the wife, kids, relatives and “the world”. Active duty troops, even stateside, are “away from home”, and that alone makes things different. If you can’t take it, don’t shake it.

  33. CavScout says:

    CPT Jeremy Gumeringer. Stationed at Ft. Lewis deployed with 8-1 CAV out of 5/2 SBCT to Spin Boldak southern Afghanistan (Kandahar Provence) as a Troop XO. TRP CDR was Rick Montcolm and SCO was William Clark (currently post commander at Fort Riley, Ks.)No Airborne wings, no Air Assault, not shot, got blown up in a Stryker shortly before re-deployment (Was out on patrol because he hadnt been outside the wire much through the deployment lounging on the floor of the Stryker)but walked away with a knee injury. Nowhere near Torra Bora. Volunteered for duty at MEPS in AZ to be closer to family. No Soldiers from 8-1 got killed. This is sad that this guy had to lie about what he had done to try to get the respect (or “motivate”) these new recruits.

  34. TacticalTrunkMonkey says:

    I served PROUDLY 5 years with the Arkansas Army National Guard, before I decided to join the Marines.

    I don’t find them to be JV at all!

    Dude, I saw your joke, but like the nerdy kid in class, you are the only one laughing.

    I get pissed off when I hear Marines around here bag on the Army, and especially the NG.

    However, that was WAY off topic.

    —-Back on Topic—-
    The video cannot be viewed here in the ‘stan. However, we google imaged his fat butt…HOLY CRAP! He needs to see the Medical section for a prescription of “Put the fork down.”

    I was a Combat Instructor at SOI(W) in Pendleton, and actually had privates tell me “Sgt (I am not a SSgt) this is NOTHING like Call of Duty.”

    Really? I hardly ever played video games before I joined…now they pass the time in this Sh*thole.

  35. TacticalTrunkMonkey says:

    f*ck, my last post was meant to say, “I am NOW a SSgt.”

    Haven’t been a Sgt in 2 1/2 years.

  36. Hondo says:

    Yat Yas: amigo, the last part of my career I was Army Reserve. I literally spent more time on active duty between 9/11 and my retirement in 2009 than not. All my active-duty assignments were at least 200 mi away from my home. I got about a week between receipt of orders and reporting for duty at a remote duty station three different times; I got about 2 weeks the other time. Three years of my active duty were more than 1500 miles away from my home; a year of that was split between Afghanistan and Iraq.

    And I wasn’t in one of the really high-demand career fields, either. Some of those guys spent 3 or more years in Iraq or Afghanistan during the same period.

    Not saying this to brag or whine. But ever since 9/11, being in the Reserves or National Guard ain’t exactly been “one weekend a month” for a whole bunch of folks.

  37. SIGO says:

    I’m not embarassed at all at my service, but being in the Guard/Reserve is not one weekend a month/two weeks per year. I’ve done every Hurricane since 2004, fires, etc. I was deployed for 18 months to Iraq. Now they are asking us to go to more and more training to support all kinds of national security related events. I’d ask you, how much downtime did Active Duty get before they were able to go back to their normal 9-5 Active Duty job? A month or more right? I got two weeks after being back from Iraq to go back to my civilian job. Try adjusting from combat to a civilian in two weeks.

  38. SIGO says:

    And I have missed tons of family events because I was gone for Guard duty. Never had the chance to celebrate Mothers or Fathers Day, or my Wife’s birthday. Missed many of my daughters birthdays due to training.

    Each side is hard, but to call it JV is insulting. Any Guard/Reserve member after 9/11 knows it’s not a cake walk. Maybe it used to be like that, but now the OPTEMPO is never going to slow down and they don’t want to go back to the way it was.

  39. Smaj says:

    Hopefully young Captain Gumeringer will get the attention he so desperately craves with a nice Letter of Reprimand from (at least) his Brigade commander. This disgusting fat body needs to shown the door.

  40. USMC Steve says:

    How good do those spurs work on a tank?

  41. Badger85 says:

    I have been sitting on this for awhile; I wanted to make sure that was really him (granted it is hard to forget a name like Gumeringer). I went to Arizona State University Army ROTC with this guy, he was 2 years ahead of me, if memory serves, I remember him being ok for a cadet, only strong memory of him is when he told me to go to the corner and beat my face because he was tired of dealing with me. Now that I think about it he really wasn’t that awesome of a cadet.

  42. MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) says:

    MEPS, Senior Enlisted Advisor, Command Sergeant Major William P. Lindo, Phone:XXXXXXXXXX ext.XXXX has been notified.

  43. Hondo says:

    Yat Yas 1833: I’d guess that someone was afraid that AFEES would be confused with AAFES (Army-Air Force Exchange System) along with the move to a Joint organization occurring in the 1970s caused the name change.

    Best I can tell from USMEPCOM and other publicly-available sources, USMEPCOM was formed in 1976 under the US Army Recruiting Command, but became a separate Joint entity under DoD in 1979. It apparently assumed the mission of running all Armed Forces Examination and Entry Stations (AFEES). AFEES under USMEPCOM were renamed Military Entrance Processing Stations (MEPS) in 1982.

    By the way: per USMEPCOM pages, military entrance stations were apparently called AFEIS (Armed Forces Examination and Induction Stations) until 1970. Learn something new every day!

  44. Anonymous says:

    @ 34 CavScout,
    By no means am I trying to start anything and this is mostly unrelated to the topic at hand. But one of our brothers from 8-1 did fall, he was a A trooper, SPC Josheph M. Lewis.

    SPC Joseph M. Lewis
    Nov-20-2009 » Filed Under: 5/2 SBCT

    The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Enduring Freedom.

    Spc. Joseph M. Lewis, 26, of Terrell, Texas died on Nov. 17 in Kandahar, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked his vehicle with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 8th Squadron, 1st Cavalry Regiment, 5th Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Fort Lewis, Wash.

    Again no drama just thought I should give this Fallen Brother in Arms respect.

  45. VetsOnRadio says:

    We will be covering this dirtbag on Saturdays show Apri 28th 2012 at 8:00pm MST here in Arizona. You can listen live by going to vetsonradio.com . We can take your questions or comments via our website or text at 602.753.VETS! We will be begin broadcasting at 7pm. The first hour is dedicated to comedy and the comedians on the show. The second hour we will be talking about CPT Crunch and that fat wind bag Dr. Phil My Wallet and his recent attack on returning service members from war!

  46. Where it be? says:

    Is the video hosted anywhere else?

  47. 8/1 CAV VET says:

    I was in 8/1 CAV. I know this fuck head. He was an alright guy in garrison but 8/1 CAV didnt do shit. A Troop was in the thick of the fighting in Arghandab, but was attached 2-1 INF battalion. That was where one of their Soldiers fell.

    Oh and FUCK the 8/1 SCO, Bill Clark. He put himself in for a legion of merit saying he Commanded the only battalion in RC-S that lost no soldiers. He said His Cav Trooper that died in Arghandab didn’t count because he was attached to a different battalion.

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