Another Round Marine sighting

| November 12, 2012 | 143 Comments

Kevin sends us this photo of the latest Round Marine sighting. The word is that a Navy Master Chief stopped him from getting into a Marine Corps Ball in his clown suit. I’m putting this up in hopes that the photographer or the Navy Master Chief sees it and tells us the story, and hopefully, someone got his name, because we’re stumped and we want him to get the attention he deserves and obviously craves.

Category: Phony soldiers

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  1. Twist says:

    He fell in love and broke it.

  2. LebbenB says:

    @92. Daaaaamn. Going deep, Hondo.

  3. LebbenB says:

    When his wife climbed on top of him, her ears popped.

  4. Hack Stone says:

    I found conclusive photographic proof the he indeed did serve, and to boot, the platoon scribe was able to record this statement.

    Dewey Oxburger: My name’s Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. You might have noticed that, uh, I’ve got a slight weight problem.

    Soldiers: Nooo! Noooo!

    Dewey Oxburger: Yeah, yeah I do. Yeah, I do. I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression… along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I’m basically a shy person, I’m a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST, those type of things. Anyway, it cost 400 bucks! 400 bucks to join this thing? Well I didn’t have the money and I thought to myself, “Join the army”! It’s free. So I figured while I’m here I’ll lose a few pounds. And you got what, a 6 to 8 week training program here? A real tough one. Which is perfect for me.

    Dewey Oxburger: I’m going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin’ Machine! Ha ha ha ha!

  5. Hack Stone says:

    I can’t figure out how to post a photograph, but you could probably figure out what it is.

  6. Nik says:

    You know those guys from back on the block? Well this guy WAS the block.

  7. Ex-PH2 says:

    It’s Ox, from “Stripes”! He ended up a DI, SGT Hulka’s replacement.

  8. Ex-PH2 says:

    He’s the reason the bakers’ union went on strike and Twinkies may no longer be available.

    http://www.wgntv.com/news/nationworld/wgntv-hostess-to-liquidate-if-bakers-strike-continues-20121115,0,96093.story

  9. Nik says:

    @110

    What did he do? Eat the bakers?

  10. Ex-PH2 says:

    @111 – ROFLMAO!!!!

  11. Hondo says:

    Nik: no – he ate SGT Hulka. That’s why he ended up as Hulka’s replacement.

  12. Nik says:

    Someone check his back, quick. I betcha find a blowhole.

  13. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    Speaking of blowholes, I guess he has a bidet in his outhouse. No way he’s reaching from the north side of that zip code to the south.

  14. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    He’s got a mirror on his floor so he can see his pecker now and then.

  15. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    It’s a wonder he doesn’t have a Derigible Service badge from WW II on that blanket.

  16. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    Oh the humanity!

  17. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    What you call a backyard pool, he calls a bath. He made the mistake of getting into it once. He went in, the water went out and that was that. Now he just gets hosed down twice each summer and air dries.

  18. Nik says:

    Some people have belly button lint. He has belly button yarn.

  19. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    Whenever he rides an elevator alone it’s exceeding capacity.

  20. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    Shit. Bad news coming out of Texas right now.

  21. Yat Yas 1833 says:

    When he steps on a scale, it says “One at a time please”. OR When his doctor wants to weigh him, he sends him to the local truck stop.

  22. Redacted1775 says:

    His high school year book photo is from overhead satellite imagery. Fat bastard.

  23. Mikey the Large and In Charge says:

    I’m just a pussycat. I try to stay out of the fray. But I will put in my two paws’ worth here.

    It is well-known that aweseomeness is not measured by size, but by deeds. The most awesome awesomeness may be found in mouse kill records, double paw stretches, head butts and shmoozing with cat show judges, and cheetah stud dances, for which I am famous.

    Awesomeness is not evidenced by rotundity of girth or added volume in one’s jungle pouch.

    Thus, the Round Marine may be large, but he is definitely not in charge.

    I have spoken. Thus it is written.

  24. Just an Old Dog says:

    What MC Ball did he tried to get into? That should be a lead right here. MC Balls are planned wayyyyyy ahead and its not a “pay your way at the door and take an open seat” thing. There are seating arrangements and everyone gets a ticket ahead of time. If he did that someone has his name on the roster. Only so many Master Gunnys would have been there. Process of elimination. Im betting he called in to get his ticket. Ferret this piece of shit out and bust him with the SVA. He went beyond claiming and wore the medals, which is still a crime. Then again this seabag with lips probably just showed up trying to get in without a ticket.

  25. Nik says:

    @126

    I’m guessing he tried to get in without a ticket. He probably heard about it and thought “Oh shit. I’m going there. Hope they have a buffet…or three…or six.”

  26. Ex-PH2 says:

    When he approaches the all-you-can-eat buffet table, the dishes shrink in fear.

  27. Anonymous says:

    When this guy enters a all-you-can-eat restaurant the staff start getting hazard pay.

  28. Nik says:

    Bah. 129 was mine.

  29. nikkochey says:

    These are two separate fugsticks. Will see if a file exist (I’m sure it does) on fatboy and provide a real name for you with a link to his stardom, what a pair of ass maggots !!

  30. Ex-PH2 says:

    If anyone tracks him down, please let me know. I found this parody this morning. It has lyrics written by Allan Sherman, music by Gilbert & Sullivan from “HMS Pinafore”.

    Little Butterball

    I’m called Little Butterball,
    Dear Little Butterball,
    ‘Though I could never tell why.

    My calories mount.
    My cholesterol count
    Is as high as an elephant’s eye.

    They told me to diet.
    I promised I’d try it,
    Yet somehow my weight would not budge.

    Each Metrecal cookie
    To me tasted ookie,
    So I covered it with hot fudge.

    I ate watercresses,
    And other such messes,
    And pushed all my favorites aside.

    I said to the caterers,
    “No more mashed potaterers,
    Just baked, and hash browned, and french fried.”

    I sing this sad song
    ‘Cause my diet went wrong,
    ‘Though I honestly tried to pay heed.

    I don’t care how high
    Is an elephant’s eye,
    But an elephant’s rear I don’t need.

  31. 1953 says:

    I can’t believe this fat turd actually had the nerve to dishonor a USMC event with his presence. Even a casual observer can tell he’s a phony…he’s wearing a ribbon rack that would make Chesty Puller envious, complete with WWII campaign ribbons. Come on…the youngest living WWII vets are all well into their 80s.

  32. BMCS says:

    The photo was taken outside Fat Eddies in Las Cruces NM. I am the one who originally posted it on GL. My wife took the pic. I didn’t get his name. I escorted his ass out of the receiving area and sent him on his way. His wife did return later with a DD214 in hand for a SGT that did a hitch in the 80′s. Was a USMC security guard school grad. Figured it was BS as well and dismissed it. Told some good stories, he retired out of Juarez while assigned to either DEA or ATF, I forget which one. Also told me that he was awarded the Trident by Presidential proclamation singed by Ronald Reagan. I Blew The photo up and took to local VFW to id the ribbons. There are some pretty obscure ribbons there. One in particular is the NJROTC Sea Cruise ribbon. kids got a chuckle out of that.

  33. Yat Yas 1833 says:

    @136 BMCS, does MGySgt Orca live in the Las Cruces area? I have family in New Mexico that I haven’t seen in a while. Maybe it’s time for a visit. I’m in Phoenix so it’s not too far a drive!? :)

  34. Mitch says:

    I think I know where Jabba the Hut got his dress blues. It looks like the cover I had stolen off my bass boat

  35. Green Thumb says:

    Extra turd.

  36. A_Proud_Infidel says:

    He’s SO FAT his farts are measured on the Richter Scale, and NASA mistook his belly button for a black hole!!

  37. SFC(Ret.) Langley says:

    I love all the comments and am glad that this SOB was caught. Proud that the BMCS was restrained. Most would drag him out and commence the lesson.

  38. Hammerhead says:

    I know who this guy is.
    These are him out of his costume.

    [IMG]http://i62.tinypic.com/15cbzh1.jpg[/IMG]

    [IMG]http://i58.tinypic.com/28clsmh.jpg[/IMG]

  39. Jonn Lilyea says:

    Hammerhead, we’re waiting for his records now.

  40. Brownwolf says:

    @142 Hammerhead,

    Are you The Round Marine’s estranged son?

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