The stupidest comment in the history of teh Intertubez.

| November 13, 2012

Presumably everyone is following the ridiculous thread about the Pot guy and the ears he was cutting off in Viet Nam.  His latest story is that it was a buddy of his doing it and he simply appropriated the story.  Whatever.  Just assinine.  But, NOT as asinine as this comment I found on the Facebook discussion on his Facebook page….

Jeri Rose I consider myself a Nam vet for having been abused for protesting against anyone going to that war. Everyone who was involved in dealing with that war was a veteran of it. I still cry when I think about it for all my friends who left the country for all those who died and for all those who came back and could not get over the PtSD.

Um, yeah, no.  Now, you could see it yourself, but the dirty hippie deleted the entire thread.  It was classic, but that comment above was my all time favorite. 

Now, as a guy who has been to 54 Grateful Dead shows, I really am agnostic on legalizing pot.  I really don’t care one way or another.  But, the crap about how pot helps your PTSD is a load of shite used to justify their actions, not the reverse.  In other words, they wanted pot legalized, and this was the bext means to raise support.  It’s not like this is the best treatment available, and the legalize pot thing grew out of it.

Nonetheless, I challenge you to make up your own ridiculous toutologies.  If she is a Viet Nam veteran for having opposed the wars, then I am a player/coach for the Patriots for having opposed vocally the vile and perfidious Giants in last years Super Bowl.  One of the best examples on my Facebook page thus far was from one of my Boys from Virginia Boys State who comments:

I cried when Sherlock Holmes died….I’M ROBERT DOWNEY JUNIOR!!!!

Sniper rhetorically posits:

I cried when John Holmes died. Does that make me a porn star?

I’ve seen Sniper in the shower.  He could almost do Lesbian pr0n.

Anyway, add your illogical syllogisms below….


Category: Politics

Comments (67)

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  1. Jonn Lilyea says:

    I’ve bought beer for Uncle Jimbo, so that means I’m Blackfive.

  2. TSO says:

    I served in Afghanistan, therefore I am Petreaus.

    Oh wait, disregard.

  3. NHSparky says:

    I laughed when Dave Chappelle went to the loony bin, therefore I’M RICK JAMES, BITCH!

  4. Ex-PH2 says:

    I’ve got a picture of me with Lieutenant Uhura from the Enterprise, with her arm around my shoulders, so that makes me Captain Kirk.

  5. Whitey_wingnut says:

    I stayed in a FOB with SpecOps, that makes me one.

    @TSO Hahahahaha

  6. Claymore says:

    I listened to Earth Wind & Fire at lunch, therefore I’m now a black guy.

  7. NHSparky says:

    PH2–no, you’d only be Captain Kirk if you had your hand on her ass.

  8. Nik says:

    I was once on a skyscraper rooftop at night…I’m BATMAN!!!

    I owned a Timex Triathlon watch…I am Iron Man.

  9. ROS says:

    I hate you for including the link to that profile.

    Hates you! Hates you!

  10. Matty_J says:

    TSO, the least you could have done, out of common courtesy and an attempt to avoid crimes against humanity, is include an NSFW (full frontal ugly) in the link.

  11. Myra says:

    I have a Glock…I’m The Gunny!

  12. Nik says:

    I cleaned wax out of some ears. That makes me…Bill Chengelis…wait. Crap. Belay that…

  13. Hondo says:

    Ugh. ROS, I wish you hadn’t said that. I looked, and now I wish I hadn’t.

  14. ROS says:

    That makes two of us.

  15. Hondo says:

    Addendum: and she’s as dumb as dirt, too.

  16. OWB says:

    Does having driven by Churchill Downs make me Secretariat?

    (Although, I am not entirely unconvinced that anyone who has spent time around filthy hippy freaks would not be scarred for life? Then again, which comes first…)

  17. LebbenB says:

    I own an airsoft replica of an M110, therefore I’m a sniper for SEAL Team 6.

  18. Brendan says:

    My wife and I share a bank account, I am pretty sure we are communists.

    My M-4 is Tan, I am super-secret special forces.

    I have a mustache, I am now Tom Selleck.

    This is so much fun that I don’t want to stop!

  19. ROS says:

    Which makes you a NASCAR driver.

  20. TSO says:

    I think OWB wins.

    “Does having driven by Churchill Downs make me Secretariat?”

    *THAT* right there is funny. I LOL’d.

  21. Brendan says:

    The “exposed to round-up: day 41” is another stunning visual account of a future “Darwin award” recipient.

  22. Ex-PH2 says:

    I made two grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. Now I’m Paula Deen.

    Oh, wait, I forgot to put bacon on them. Durn! Blew my cover.

  23. MikeD says:

    I’ve never smoked pot, but now, thanks to this thread, I am marijuana.

  24. OWB says:

    OK -just gotta blow my top here. Have a good friend who served in the Merchant Marine during Viet Nam. Yeah, he was on ships that delivered goods to Viet Nam and environs. He was armed while on deck. He came under fire and returned fire many times. He and all who served in the Merchant Marines historically took fire and put their literal lives on the line for all of us but most especially to get supplies to those at the front, wherever that front might be. THEY we owe much gratitude. And THEY suffered many casualties of battle.

    The protesting filthy hippies? They are owed nothing but our disdain for being stupid and allowing that stupidity to cost many lives of our friends in Viet Nam.


    We now return to the regularly scheduled making fun of stinking hippies and their inability to function as worthwhile members of the animal kingdom. Slugs that they are.

  25. Ex-PH2 says:

    Give them an island unto themselves with their One, and let the rest of us go back to doing what counts with our lives.

  26. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    I consider myself a former professional soccer player because I once had the privilege of dribbling a soccer ball on the old Gillette Stadium field…I also had a NASCAR pit/driver license at one time and consider myself to be a peer of Richard Petty and Junior Johnson. While stopping a robbery of property by using a two by four on the perpetrator makes me a former member of the law enforcement community. Additionally I have spent several decades working in a field closely related to color theory and consider that time to be the equivalent of a PhD in applied lighting wave form dynamics.

    It is amazing when you start connecting the dots of the all the things you have touched over the years with the fantasy of being someone other than you really are….in my case, I am an old school printer working with new technology who used to have some fun with race cars at the lowest level of competition while playing soccer at an amateur adult level….but the “toutology” sure makes for some interesting interpretations of reality.

    I prefer my reality to the toutology, probably not as interesting to many. But, no less fun in shaping the reality of my life today.

    And no regrets or multiple piles of bullsh1t to remember. Just one thing to remember, what actually happened.

  27. MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) says:

    I cried when Wladziu Valentino Liberace died. But that does not make me a …. OOPPSS … sorry wrong blog!

  28. OWB says:

    @ #22: If you put plenty of butter on those grilled cheeses you are still Paula!

    (And could we please ignore the “s” in my last post on my second use of “Merchant Marine?” Thanks! Got a little carried away there.)

  29. I cried period
    ‘to an unknown grave’

  30. idaho2run says:

    I have watched Pirates of the Caribbean twice, therefore, I am a pirate. AAARRRGGG

  31. LebbenB says:

    When I was a private, I got out of a grass cutting detail. That means I used to run black ops outbof Bragg. And for the record, my ops ARE blacker than yours.

  32. Nik says:

    During Mess and Maintenance week at MCRD San Diego I was assigned to the Chaplain. Thus I consider myself a Saint.

  33. ROS says:

    I have an arrow and a glass. I am…………a milk drinker.

  34. CBSenior says:

    Jeri Rose may not have been to a proctologist but he is defintely an Asshole.

  35. BK says:

    Jesus was Jewish. I am Jesus, but even I cannot lay on hands and cure his stupidity.

  36. KING Wolf says:

    I prayed in a catholic church once..

    That makes me the Pope…

  37. Hondo says:

    I took a dump in the woods once – so call me Papa Grizzly. (smile)

  38. SGT Kane says:

    At OWB #16 – no, but it does mean you can claim to be hung like Secretariat.

    Last night at the Black Ops II launch party I over heard a mall rent a cop tell a kid there that he was a vet, because what he does is just like being in the Army. Today I regret not punching him in the face, because if I had then I could claim to be a peer of Wanderlei Silva.

  39. Twist says:

    I once told a lie-I’m the President.

  40. ARoberts says:

    I can drive fast and turn left. I am now a NASCAR driver.

  41. I’ve seen Sniper in the shower.

    Er, um… nope, can’t get beyond that image. TSO and The Sniper cavorting together in a shower.

    That is a silly – gism.

    Hmmm… just what was the point of this post?

  42. Ret12B40 says:

    I listen to the Doors, therefore, I AM THE LIZARD KING!

  43. Ex-PH2 says:

    Cogito, ergo sum. — Koko the gorilla

  44. Mordrach says:

    I cried a little when I finally rescued the princess in the last castle… IT’S A-ME! MAR-I-OOOO!

  45. Twist says:

    “I’ve seen Sniper in the shower”-I’m Sir Elton John

  46. valerie says:

    I drove past a bar. I am a lawyer.

  47. OWB says:

    These are all sooooo funny! Big grins over here. Thanks, all!

  48. Red Ghost says:

    At the ’92 LA riots, we did PT on the field where the then LA Raiders played football and showered in the visiting team locker room where the Clippers played. Yep, I’m a former NFL and NBA player.

  49. Gravel says:

    I held a light saber once … I am your father.

  50. Spade says:

    I saw a sword and a stone once and that means I’m the king of fucking england.