The stupidest comment in the history of teh Intertubez.
Presumably everyone is following the ridiculous thread about the Pot guy and the ears he was cutting off in Viet Nam. His latest story is that it was a buddy of his doing it and he simply appropriated the story. Whatever. Just assinine. But, NOT as asinine as this comment I found on the Facebook discussion on his Facebook page….
Jeri Rose I consider myself a Nam vet for having been abused for protesting against anyone going to that war. Everyone who was involved in dealing with that war was a veteran of it. I still cry when I think about it for all my friends who left the country for all those who died and for all those who came back and could not get over the PtSD.
Um, yeah, no. Now, you could see it yourself, but the dirty hippie deleted the entire thread. It was classic, but that comment above was my all time favorite.
Now, as a guy who has been to 54 Grateful Dead shows, I really am agnostic on legalizing pot. I really don’t care one way or another. But, the crap about how pot helps your PTSD is a load of shite used to justify their actions, not the reverse. In other words, they wanted pot legalized, and this was the bext means to raise support. It’s not like this is the best treatment available, and the legalize pot thing grew out of it.
Nonetheless, I challenge you to make up your own ridiculous toutologies. If she is a Viet Nam veteran for having opposed the wars, then I am a player/coach for the Patriots for having opposed vocally the vile and perfidious Giants in last years Super Bowl. One of the best examples on my Facebook page thus far was from one of my Boys from Virginia Boys State who comments:
I cried when Sherlock Holmes died….I’M ROBERT DOWNEY JUNIOR!!!!
Sniper rhetorically posits:
I cried when John Holmes died. Does that make me a porn star?
I’ve seen Sniper in the shower. He could almost do Lesbian pr0n.
Anyway, add your illogical syllogisms below….
November 13th, 2012 at 12:51 pm
I’ve bought beer for Uncle Jimbo, so that means I’m Blackfive.
November 13th, 2012 at 12:53 pm
I served in Afghanistan, therefore I am Petreaus.
Oh wait, disregard.
November 13th, 2012 at 12:55 pm
I laughed when Dave Chappelle went to the loony bin, therefore I’M RICK JAMES, BITCH!
November 13th, 2012 at 12:57 pm
I’ve got a picture of me with Lieutenant Uhura from the Enterprise, with her arm around my shoulders, so that makes me Captain Kirk.
November 13th, 2012 at 12:57 pm
I stayed in a FOB with SpecOps, that makes me one.
@TSO Hahahahaha
November 13th, 2012 at 12:59 pm
I listened to Earth Wind & Fire at lunch, therefore I’m now a black guy.
November 13th, 2012 at 12:59 pm
PH2–no, you’d only be Captain Kirk if you had your hand on her ass.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:00 pm
I was once on a skyscraper rooftop at night…I’m BATMAN!!!
I owned a Timex Triathlon watch…I am Iron Man.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:01 pm
I hate you for including the link to that profile.
Hates you! Hates you!
November 13th, 2012 at 1:05 pm
TSO, the least you could have done, out of common courtesy and an attempt to avoid crimes against humanity, is include an NSFW (full frontal ugly) in the link.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:06 pm
I have a Glock…I’m The Gunny!
November 13th, 2012 at 1:07 pm
I cleaned wax out of some ears. That makes me…Bill Chengelis…wait. Crap. Belay that…
November 13th, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Ugh. ROS, I wish you hadn’t said that. I looked, and now I wish I hadn’t.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:14 pm
That makes two of us.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:15 pm
Addendum: and she’s as dumb as dirt, too.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Does having driven by Churchill Downs make me Secretariat?
(Although, I am not entirely unconvinced that anyone who has spent time around filthy hippy freaks would not be scarred for life? Then again, which comes first…)
November 13th, 2012 at 1:31 pm
I own an airsoft replica of an M110, therefore I’m a sniper for SEAL Team 6.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:32 pm
My wife and I share a bank account, I am pretty sure we are communists.
My M-4 is Tan, I am super-secret special forces.
I have a mustache, I am now Tom Selleck.
This is so much fun that I don’t want to stop!
November 13th, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Which makes you a NASCAR driver.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:37 pm
I think OWB wins.
“Does having driven by Churchill Downs make me Secretariat?”
*THAT* right there is funny. I LOL’d.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:38 pm
The “exposed to round-up: day 41″ is another stunning visual account of a future “Darwin award” recipient.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:39 pm
I made two grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. Now I’m Paula Deen.
Oh, wait, I forgot to put bacon on them. Durn! Blew my cover.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:41 pm
I’ve never smoked pot, but now, thanks to this thread, I am marijuana.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:44 pm
OK -just gotta blow my top here. Have a good friend who served in the Merchant Marine during Viet Nam. Yeah, he was on ships that delivered goods to Viet Nam and environs. He was armed while on deck. He came under fire and returned fire many times. He and all who served in the Merchant Marines historically took fire and put their literal lives on the line for all of us but most especially to get supplies to those at the front, wherever that front might be. THEY we owe much gratitude. And THEY suffered many casualties of battle.
The protesting filthy hippies? They are owed nothing but our disdain for being stupid and allowing that stupidity to cost many lives of our friends in Viet Nam.
Idiots.
We now return to the regularly scheduled making fun of stinking hippies and their inability to function as worthwhile members of the animal kingdom. Slugs that they are.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:47 pm
Give them an island unto themselves with their One, and let the rest of us go back to doing what counts with our lives.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:49 pm
I consider myself a former professional soccer player because I once had the privilege of dribbling a soccer ball on the old Gillette Stadium field…I also had a NASCAR pit/driver license at one time and consider myself to be a peer of Richard Petty and Junior Johnson. While stopping a robbery of property by using a two by four on the perpetrator makes me a former member of the law enforcement community. Additionally I have spent several decades working in a field closely related to color theory and consider that time to be the equivalent of a PhD in applied lighting wave form dynamics.
It is amazing when you start connecting the dots of the all the things you have touched over the years with the fantasy of being someone other than you really are….in my case, I am an old school printer working with new technology who used to have some fun with race cars at the lowest level of competition while playing soccer at an amateur adult level….but the “toutology” sure makes for some interesting interpretations of reality.
I prefer my reality to the toutology, probably not as interesting to many. But, no less fun in shaping the reality of my life today.
And no regrets or multiple piles of bullsh1t to remember. Just one thing to remember, what actually happened.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:49 pm
I cried when Wladziu Valentino Liberace died. But that does not make me a …. OOPPSS … sorry wrong blog!
November 13th, 2012 at 1:52 pm
@ #22: If you put plenty of butter on those grilled cheeses you are still Paula!
(And could we please ignore the “s” in my last post on my second use of “Merchant Marine?” Thanks! Got a little carried away there.)
November 13th, 2012 at 1:53 pm
I cried period
‘to an unknown grave’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTi29cp6yb0&feature=share&list=PLFE1990D6ADA2FF86
November 13th, 2012 at 1:56 pm
I have watched Pirates of the Caribbean twice, therefore, I am a pirate. AAARRRGGG
November 13th, 2012 at 1:56 pm
When I was a private, I got out of a grass cutting detail. That means I used to run black ops outbof Bragg. And for the record, my ops ARE blacker than yours.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:59 pm
During Mess and Maintenance week at MCRD San Diego I was assigned to the Chaplain. Thus I consider myself a Saint.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:00 pm
I have an arrow and a glass. I am…………a milk drinker.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Jeri Rose may not have been to a proctologist but he is defintely an Asshole.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:09 pm
Jesus was Jewish. I am Jesus, but even I cannot lay on hands and cure his stupidity.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:11 pm
I prayed in a catholic church once..
That makes me the Pope…
November 13th, 2012 at 2:13 pm
I took a dump in the woods once – so call me Papa Grizzly. (smile)
November 13th, 2012 at 2:14 pm
At OWB #16 – no, but it does mean you can claim to be hung like Secretariat.
Last night at the Black Ops II launch party I over heard a mall rent a cop tell a kid there that he was a vet, because what he does is just like being in the Army. Today I regret not punching him in the face, because if I had then I could claim to be a peer of Wanderlei Silva.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:18 pm
I once told a lie-I’m the President.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:35 pm
I can drive fast and turn left. I am now a NASCAR driver.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:39 pm
I’ve seen Sniper in the shower.
Er, um… nope, can’t get beyond that image. TSO and The Sniper cavorting together in a shower.
That is a silly – gism.
Hmmm… just what was the point of this post?
November 13th, 2012 at 2:39 pm
I listen to the Doors, therefore, I AM THE LIZARD KING!
November 13th, 2012 at 2:45 pm
Cogito, ergo sum. — Koko the gorilla
November 13th, 2012 at 3:05 pm
I cried a little when I finally rescued the princess in the last castle… IT’S A-ME! MAR-I-OOOO!
November 13th, 2012 at 3:06 pm
“I’ve seen Sniper in the shower”-I’m Sir Elton John
November 13th, 2012 at 3:35 pm
I drove past a bar. I am a lawyer.
November 13th, 2012 at 3:43 pm
These are all sooooo funny! Big grins over here. Thanks, all!
November 13th, 2012 at 4:08 pm
At the ’92 LA riots, we did PT on the field where the then LA Raiders played football and showered in the visiting team locker room where the Clippers played. Yep, I’m a former NFL and NBA player.
November 13th, 2012 at 4:25 pm
I held a light saber once … I am your father.
November 13th, 2012 at 4:58 pm
I saw a sword and a stone once and that means I’m the king of fucking england.
November 13th, 2012 at 5:05 pm
I drank a beer this weekend-I’m Ted Kennedy.
November 13th, 2012 at 5:07 pm
I recieved sniper fire-I’m Hillary Clinton
November 13th, 2012 at 7:21 pm
I bought a NY Yankees baseball cap, I’m a US Senator and Secretary of State
November 13th, 2012 at 8:14 pm
I am not George W. Bush – I therefore won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. I’m still waiting for my million dollars, though.
November 13th, 2012 at 8:20 pm
I was recently in Kalifornia. I’m a brain dead democRAT!
November 13th, 2012 at 8:50 pm
I remember way back when, probably about 1984, reading in Stars And Stripes about a guy running for office in Arizona. he claimed to be a Vietnam vet. The opponent’s wife was a bit suspiscious, did some research and discovered that the guy was bout 15 when the Vietnam war ended. When he was confronted, he claimed that growing up watching the Vietnam War on the news, made him a Vietnam veteran in spirit. I grew up watching Hogan’s Heroes, so I must be a WW II vet. Do I also qualify for a POW badge? As for that politician, I think that he was one of the subjects in Stolen Valor.
November 13th, 2012 at 9:22 pm
@56
My mom loved Black Sheep Squadron when I was a kid so I watched that. I guess that makes me a WW II Vet Fighter Pilot.
November 13th, 2012 at 9:34 pm
I grew up watching Jackie Cooper on TV in his Navy series “Hennessey” and also watched the “Blue Angels”, so that makes me a Navy fighter/stunt pilot and doctor.
And you’ve all seen my picture, so I can prove it’s true.
November 13th, 2012 at 10:14 pm
Been to Tuskeegee so I claim being a Red Tail pilot!
Am, too. Can even spell P-51. No, I never took Eleanor up for a ride.
November 13th, 2012 at 10:21 pm
I realize that I am going to probably poke the bear with this comment so let me just preface by saying, I’m not a pot head.
Believe it or not, there is actually some research that supports the idea that marijuana may have some therapeutic benefit in PTSD. This first got a lot of buzz in legitimate medical circles a few years ago and I know I first heard about it when the Israelis published an animal study suggesting a link. Since then, there are a number of ongoing studies, many of which are suggesting that the cannabanoid receptors may be a potential treatment target in the future.
That having been said, unless you’ve blown through every reasonable legal therapy, the self medication argument doesn’t hold a lot of water with me and 99 times out of 100 its just an argument to excuse bad behavior or justify what is ultimately a long history of getting one’s puff on. Cannabanoid receptor agonists may ultimately help with PTSD but theres also a compelling link between weed and the onset of psychosis. Personally, I’d rather be jumpy than mumbling to myself and yelling about the CIA bugging my house.
November 13th, 2012 at 10:24 pm
But, Squid, what’s wrong with mumbling to myself and yelling about the CIA bugging my house?
November 13th, 2012 at 10:27 pm
Well Ex-PH2, its only a delusion if its not true.
November 14th, 2012 at 1:19 am
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/399/768/dc0.jpg
November 14th, 2012 at 1:25 am
@62: Hey, just because you are paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.
Squid, the bigger issue with it is that what percentage of people are “actually” getting some beneficial treatment from the marijuana vs how many are using whatever they can think of as an “excuse” to use it. The whole “well when I take it, I feel better” argument is bogus because its marijuana, you are gonna feel less pain, along with getting the munchies. (Think of the South Park Episode about medical marijuana…)
At the end of the day, who wants to look like Tommy Chong when they are in their 60s? (Though he’s looked that way since he was in his 30s I think).
Oh yeah, to continue the theme of this thread: I watch Animal Planet, therefore I have a PhD in Veterinary Science.
November 14th, 2012 at 6:33 am
I once got pulled over by the police.- I’m Rodney King
I once ran through an airport.- I’m OJ Simpson
I once opened up the side of a computer.- I am Bill Gates
November 14th, 2012 at 6:47 am
I read the original story. – so now I’m as confused as a perma-stoned hippie.
I like my flannel shirt. – Does that make me lesbian?
November 14th, 2012 at 9:02 am
I’ve been between a girl’s legs… I am a douche.
I’ve kissed a girl… I am Katy Perry.
I own a gun… something something beer and religion? I am not very good at this.
Hooah.
And my favorite so far is #2 as well. Brilliant.