What if Petraeus had said…..

| November 13, 2012

I saw this from Twitchy, and it is admittedly one of the best covers evah…..


So, it got me thinking, what if we take other famous quotes, and Petraeusize them. 

So, I’ll get you started (with some from Brown Neck Gaitor):

“Booty is the sublimest word in the English Language.” – Robert E. Lee Petraeus

“Love is a better teacher than Booty” – Albert Einstein Petraeus

“Booty, Honor, Country” – Doug Mac Petraeus

Go forth and pun….


I won’t say who said this without his permission, but this one wins….

“Veni, Vidi, Veni.” — Julius Caesar Petraeus

Category: Politics

Comments (78)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. LebbenB says:

    Booty is in the eye of the beholder.

  2. Ex-PH2 says:

    You are so bootyful to P.

  3. BNG says:

    “O hard, when love and booty clash!”

    Lord Tennyson from The Princess

  4. TSO says:

    When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his booty.


  5. Hondo says:

    “Booti, ergo absentis.” – René Petraeus

  6. BNG says:

    “Ask not for whom General Order 1 tolls, it tolls for thee”

  7. Virtual Insanity says:

    “Do the booty which lies nearest to you, the second booty will then become clearer.”

    –Thomas Carlyle

    I win.

  8. Steadfast&Loyal says:

    Do your booty today and repent tomorrow – Mark Twain Patraeus

    Booty is ours; the rest is God’s – John Patreaus Adams

  9. Virtual Insanity says:

    “The reward of one’s booty is the power to fulfill another.”

    –Broadwell (actually, George Eliot)

  10. Twist says:

    “The things that will destroy America are prosperity at any price, peace at any price, safety first instead of booty first and love of soft living and the get-rich-quick theory of life.”

  11. Twist says:

    #10 Was Teddy Roosevelt.

  12. AW1 Tim says:

    Mein Kampf für Beute

    – A. Hitler

  13. Jonn Lilyea says:

    The patriotism…may be justly doubted of him, who professes to be disturbed by booty. Samuel Johnson

  14. Anonymous says:

    “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the booty of patriots and tyrants.”

    Thomas Jefferson Petraeus

  15. JP says:

    Oops. #14 was me.

  16. Twist says:

    Do your booty as you see it, and damn the consequences.”
    ? George S. Patton Jr.

  17. JP says:

    “Only the dead have seen the end of booty”

    -George Santayana Petraeus

  18. Twist says:

    “Booty is the sublimest word in our language. Do your booty in all things. You cannot do more. You should never wish to do less.”
    ? Robert E. Lee

  19. Derpy says:

    “Do your booty as you see it, and damn the consequences.”

    ? George Petraeus Patton Jr.

  20. BNG says:

    “Thanks to the gods! my boy has done his booty.”

    – Joseph Addison Patraeus

  21. Twist says:

    “Booty is what one expects from others.”
    -Oscar Wilde

  22. Derpy says:

    Damn, #16, ya beat me to it. Fine here’s another one:

    “Do something everyday that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your booty without pain.” – Mark Petraeus Twain

  23. BNG says:

    “England expects that every man will do his booty.”

    Lorn Horatio Patraeus Nelson

  24. BNG says:

    “England expects that every man will do his booty.”

    Lord Horatio Patraeus Nelson

  25. NHSparky says:

    It is better to have bootyed and lost than never to have bootyed at all. –David Lord Petraeus

    We have met the booty, and they are ours. –Oliver Hazard Petraeus

    Tickle me, Elmo! No, not there! (Whoops, wrong thread.)

  26. Tom Huxton says:

    “Booty is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
    ? John Lennon Petraeus

    “Good friends, good booty, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
    ? Mark Twain Petraeus

    “I’m not afraid of booty; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
    ? Woody Allen Petraeus

    “Booty continues to ruin my life.”
    ? Bill Watterson Petraeus

    The most wasted of all days is one without booty.”
    ? E.E. Cummings Petraeus

    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s booty.”
    ? Anaïs Nin Petraeus

    “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got booty.”
    ? Groucho Marx Petraeus

    “What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a booty. Yeah, winning attributes.”
    ? Gena Showalter Petraeus

    You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your booty”
    ? Siddh?rtha Gautama Petraeus

    “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer booty.”
    ? Eleanor Roosevelt Petraeus

    “When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes booty.”
    ? Jarod Kintz Petraeus

    “He’s not your prince charming if he doesn’t make sure you know that you’re his booty.”
    ? Demi Lovato Petraeus

    “Whether we fall by ambition, booty, blood, or lust
    Like diamonds we are cut with our own dust”
    ? John Webster Petraeus

  27. Devtun says:

    “I’m John Kerry and I am reporting for booty!”

    -Jawn Kawwry Petraeus

  28. Arby says:

    The sex was clearly better with the biographer than it was with the autobiographer…

  29. NHSparky says:

    The booty is a harsh mistress. –Robert Petraeus

    Oh, booty! My booty! –David Whitman

    Booty booty booty! Hey, Buck–let’s make Wilma airtight! –Twiki Petraeus, “Booty Rogers in the 25th Century”

  30. DefendUSA says:

    @Tom- I’d say you’re gonna get me fired for laughing my ass off, but I sleep with the boss…ergo, he’s married to me…laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes.

  31. CBSenior says:

    7. Talk to no one except in the line of Booty.

    7th General Order of Petraeus.

    All Men are Generals thinking with their Privates.
    Not mine stole it.

  32. OWB says:

    @ #27: The best!

  33. streetsweeper says:

    When asked why? I’m inclined to think…”Because she’s got a great ass and Petraeus has his head all the way up it”.

  34. Nik says:

    “If you can’t be with the Booty you love, love the Booty you’re with”
    – Crosby, Petraeus and Nash

  35. Nik says:

    “Booty is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy”
    – Benjamin Franklin Petraeus

  36. NHSparky says:

    If ye love wealth better than booty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of booty calls — go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and kiss the bootys which feed you. May your booty sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen! –Samuel Petraeus

  37. NHSparky says:

    Transparency and the rule of booty will be the touchstones of this presidency. –Barack Petraeus

  38. Nik says:

    “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary sbooty, deserve neither liberty nor booty.”
    – Benjamin Franklin Petraeus

  39. Curt says:

    I have nothing to add, but wish to humbly submit a vote for #35 as The Best!
    Oh, wait- “I love big booty and I cannot lie”- General Petraeus-A-Lot

  40. Adirondack Patriot says:

    “Son, we live in a world that has booty, and that booty has to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I’ve had the greatest booty than you could possibly fathom. You weep for booty, and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing some of the Gitmo booty I have known.

    You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that booty, you need me on that booty.

    We use words like booty, tang and tail. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent poking something.

    You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my booty calls to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up some booty, and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.”

    — Col. Jessup Petraeus, USMC

  41. Nik says:

    “Stop. Booty time.”
    – MC Petraeus

  42. O-4E says:

    “Forward, my brave boys, do your booty”

    a little later…with is last breath

    “Boys, I but did my booty; the dear old flag never touched the ground.”

    Colonel Robert Petraeus Shaw, 54th MA INF

  43. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:


    Bootia Omnia Vincit

  44. USMCE8Ret12 says:

    “Happiness is a warm booty.” Charles M. Patreaus

    “If more of us valued booty and cheer above hoarded gold, it would be a much merrier world.”
    ? J.R.R. Patreaus

    “I’ve got nothing to do today but booty.” Simon, Garfunkel & Patreaus

    “Rules for Happiness: Booty to do, Booty to love, Booty to hope for.” Immanuel Patreaus

    “Booty is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”
    ? Aristotle Patreaus

    “In the end, it’s not the booty in your life that counts, it’s the life in your booty.” Abraham Patreaus

  45. O-4E says:

    “Booty is the soul of an army. It makes small numbers formidable; procures success to the weak and esteem to all.”

    GEORGE PETRAEUS WASHINGTON, letter to the Captains of the Virginia Regiments

  46. CBSenior says:

    “I only regret that I have but one Booty to give for my country.”

    Nathan Patreaus

  47. Nik says:

    “Ask not what booty can do for you, but what you can do for booty”
    – J. F. Petraeus

  48. PintoNag says:

    “Damn the booty, full speed ahead!”
    — Admiral David Farragut Petraeus, the Battle of Mobile Bay.

  49. CSE CSC says:

    “Booty is what one expects from others.” — Petreaus Gone Wilde

  50. Hondo says:

    “You are all disgusting sexists.”

    — Joe the Rockclimbing IT Specialist