What if Petraeus had said…..
November 13th, 2012
I saw this from Twitchy, and it is admittedly one of the best covers evah…..
So, it got me thinking, what if we take other famous quotes, and Petraeusize them.
So, I’ll get you started (with some from Brown Neck Gaitor):
“Booty is the sublimest word in the English Language.” – Robert E. Lee Petraeus
“Love is a better teacher than Booty” – Albert Einstein Petraeus
“Booty, Honor, Country” – Doug Mac Petraeus
Go forth and pun….
Update:
I won’t say who said this without his permission, but this one wins….
“Veni, Vidi, Veni.” — Julius Caesar Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Booty is in the eye of the beholder.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:44 pm
You are so bootyful to P.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:48 pm
“O hard, when love and booty clash!”
Lord Tennyson from The Princess
November 13th, 2012 at 2:49 pm
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his booty.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
November 13th, 2012 at 2:52 pm
“Booti, ergo absentis.” – René Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 2:52 pm
“Ask not for whom General Order 1 tolls, it tolls for thee”
November 13th, 2012 at 2:54 pm
“Do the booty which lies nearest to you, the second booty will then become clearer.”
–Thomas Carlyle
I win.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:55 pm
Do your booty today and repent tomorrow – Mark Twain Patraeus
Booty is ours; the rest is God’s – John Patreaus Adams
November 13th, 2012 at 2:56 pm
“The reward of one’s booty is the power to fulfill another.”
–Broadwell (actually, George Eliot)
November 13th, 2012 at 3:03 pm
“The things that will destroy America are prosperity at any price, peace at any price, safety first instead of booty first and love of soft living and the get-rich-quick theory of life.”
November 13th, 2012 at 3:04 pm
#10 Was Teddy Roosevelt.
November 13th, 2012 at 3:07 pm
Mein Kampf für Beute
– A. Hitler
November 13th, 2012 at 3:08 pm
The patriotism…may be justly doubted of him, who professes to be disturbed by booty. Samuel Johnson
November 13th, 2012 at 3:10 pm
“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the booty of patriots and tyrants.”
Thomas Jefferson Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Oops. #14 was me.
November 13th, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Do your booty as you see it, and damn the consequences.”
? George S. Patton Jr.
November 13th, 2012 at 3:15 pm
“Only the dead have seen the end of booty”
-George Santayana Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 3:16 pm
“Booty is the sublimest word in our language. Do your booty in all things. You cannot do more. You should never wish to do less.”
? Robert E. Lee
November 13th, 2012 at 3:25 pm
“Do your booty as you see it, and damn the consequences.”
? George Petraeus Patton Jr.
November 13th, 2012 at 3:26 pm
“Thanks to the gods! my boy has done his booty.”
- Joseph Addison Patraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 3:26 pm
“Booty is what one expects from others.”
-Oscar Wilde
November 13th, 2012 at 3:27 pm
Damn, #16, ya beat me to it. Fine here’s another one:
“Do something everyday that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your booty without pain.” – Mark Petraeus Twain
November 13th, 2012 at 3:31 pm
“England expects that every man will do his booty.”
Lorn Horatio Patraeus Nelson
November 13th, 2012 at 3:31 pm
“England expects that every man will do his booty.”
Lord Horatio Patraeus Nelson
November 13th, 2012 at 3:32 pm
It is better to have bootyed and lost than never to have bootyed at all. –David Lord Petraeus
We have met the booty, and they are ours. –Oliver Hazard Petraeus
Tickle me, Elmo! No, not there! (Whoops, wrong thread.)
November 13th, 2012 at 3:35 pm
“Booty is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
? John Lennon Petraeus
“Good friends, good booty, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
? Mark Twain Petraeus
“I’m not afraid of booty; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
? Woody Allen Petraeus
“Booty continues to ruin my life.”
? Bill Watterson Petraeus
The most wasted of all days is one without booty.”
? E.E. Cummings Petraeus
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s booty.”
? Anaïs Nin Petraeus
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got booty.”
? Groucho Marx Petraeus
“What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a booty. Yeah, winning attributes.”
? Gena Showalter Petraeus
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your booty”
? Siddh?rtha Gautama Petraeus
“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer booty.”
? Eleanor Roosevelt Petraeus
“When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes booty.”
? Jarod Kintz Petraeus
“He’s not your prince charming if he doesn’t make sure you know that you’re his booty.”
? Demi Lovato Petraeus
“Whether we fall by ambition, booty, blood, or lust
Like diamonds we are cut with our own dust”
? John Webster Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 3:42 pm
“I’m John Kerry and I am reporting for booty!”
-Jawn Kawwry Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 3:43 pm
The sex was clearly better with the biographer than it was with the autobiographer…
November 13th, 2012 at 3:44 pm
The booty is a harsh mistress. –Robert Petraeus
Oh, booty! My booty! –David Whitman
Booty booty booty! Hey, Buck–let’s make Wilma airtight! –Twiki Petraeus, “Booty Rogers in the 25th Century”
November 13th, 2012 at 3:44 pm
@Tom- I’d say you’re gonna get me fired for laughing my ass off, but I sleep with the boss…ergo, he’s married to me…laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes.
November 13th, 2012 at 3:49 pm
7. Talk to no one except in the line of Booty.
7th General Order of Petraeus.
All Men are Generals thinking with their Privates.
Not mine stole it.
November 13th, 2012 at 3:50 pm
@ #27: The best!
November 13th, 2012 at 3:51 pm
When asked why? I’m inclined to think…”Because she’s got a great ass and Petraeus has his head all the way up it”.
November 13th, 2012 at 3:51 pm
“If you can’t be with the Booty you love, love the Booty you’re with”
– Crosby, Petraeus and Nash
November 13th, 2012 at 3:53 pm
“Booty is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy”
- Benjamin Franklin Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 3:58 pm
If ye love wealth better than booty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of booty calls — go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and kiss the bootys which feed you. May your booty sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen! –Samuel Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Transparency and the rule of booty will be the touchstones of this presidency. –Barack Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 4:06 pm
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary sbooty, deserve neither liberty nor booty.”
– Benjamin Franklin Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 4:10 pm
I have nothing to add, but wish to humbly submit a vote for #35 as The Best!
Oh, wait- “I love big booty and I cannot lie”- General Petraeus-A-Lot
November 13th, 2012 at 4:26 pm
“Son, we live in a world that has booty, and that booty has to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I’ve had the greatest booty than you could possibly fathom. You weep for booty, and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing some of the Gitmo booty I have known.
You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that booty, you need me on that booty.
We use words like booty, tang and tail. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent poking something.
You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my booty calls to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up some booty, and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.”
– Col. Jessup Petraeus, USMC
November 13th, 2012 at 4:31 pm
“Stop. Booty time.”
– MC Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 4:43 pm
“Forward, my brave boys, do your booty”
a little later…with is last breath
“Boys, I but did my booty; the dear old flag never touched the ground.”
Colonel Robert Petraeus Shaw, 54th MA INF
November 13th, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Sadly,
Bootia Omnia Vincit
November 13th, 2012 at 4:50 pm
“Happiness is a warm booty.” Charles M. Patreaus
“If more of us valued booty and cheer above hoarded gold, it would be a much merrier world.”
? J.R.R. Patreaus
“I’ve got nothing to do today but booty.” Simon, Garfunkel & Patreaus
“Rules for Happiness: Booty to do, Booty to love, Booty to hope for.” Immanuel Patreaus
“Booty is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”
? Aristotle Patreaus
“In the end, it’s not the booty in your life that counts, it’s the life in your booty.” Abraham Patreaus
November 13th, 2012 at 4:54 pm
“Booty is the soul of an army. It makes small numbers formidable; procures success to the weak and esteem to all.”
GEORGE PETRAEUS WASHINGTON, letter to the Captains of the Virginia Regiments
November 13th, 2012 at 4:56 pm
“I only regret that I have but one Booty to give for my country.”
Nathan Patreaus
November 13th, 2012 at 5:01 pm
“Ask not what booty can do for you, but what you can do for booty”
– J. F. Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 5:04 pm
“Damn the booty, full speed ahead!”
– Admiral David Farragut Petraeus, the Battle of Mobile Bay.
November 13th, 2012 at 5:19 pm
“Booty is what one expects from others.” — Petreaus Gone Wilde
November 13th, 2012 at 5:22 pm
“You are all disgusting sexists.”
– Joe the Rockclimbing IT Specialist
November 13th, 2012 at 5:24 pm
“David! What is best in life?”
“To crush your enemies — See them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their booty!”
Patraeus the Barbarian
November 13th, 2012 at 5:26 pm
“Come on, you sons of bitches-do you want booty forever?” Gunnery Sergeant Dan Petraeus, USMC.
November 13th, 2012 at 5:51 pm
Saw this one on another thread…
Call of Booty: Modern Whorefare….
November 13th, 2012 at 6:05 pm
“There is not not enough booty in the world to stop a fully armed Marine regiment from going where ever they wont to go”
- Lewis B. “Chesty” Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 6:08 pm
Well, it looks like someone else was also having fun with this – and pulled one over on a Denver’s ABC-TV station:
http://weeklystandard.com/blogs/abc-affiliate-ran-phony-cover-broadwell-book_663264.html
November 13th, 2012 at 6:28 pm
“Cry booty–and let slip the dogs of war!”
“Act 3 Scene 1, Julius Petraeus”
–William Petraeus Shakespeare
November 13th, 2012 at 6:42 pm
“I think when you spread the booty around, it’s good for everybody.” Barack Hussein Petraeus.
November 13th, 2012 at 6:54 pm
“It’s not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or booty”.
Barack Hussein Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 7:02 pm
Achilles addresses his Myrmidons: You are lions! (Noise from Mymidons) You are animals! (More noise) There is booty over there! It’s yours! Take it!!!
(Myrmidons exeunt boat, kill priests take booty and prisoners)
November 13th, 2012 at 7:29 pm
@56
LOL. I was thinking that exact thing.
“Double, double, booty and trouble”
- Wm Shakespeare “MacBeth”
November 13th, 2012 at 7:39 pm
Spartans? What is your Booty???
“Ahoo Ahoo Ahoo”
- David Petreoidas
November 13th, 2012 at 7:46 pm
@61
Piggybacking on that one…
“This is BOOTY!!!”
- David Petreoidas
November 13th, 2012 at 7:51 pm
@55 Hondo
Wow, just wow…what is seen cannot be unseen.
November 13th, 2012 at 8:06 pm
“It follows then as certain as a night in bed succeeds the imbed, that without a decisive semen force we can do nothing definitive, and with it, everything booty and glorious.”
- President George W. Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 8:10 pm
@64
I heard a clip of her talking last night. She was speaking about having been embedded with Petraeus. Of course my mind heard it as “in bed” with Petraeus.
My inner 13-year old was appeased.
November 13th, 2012 at 8:16 pm
I know of only one booty, and that is to love. Albert Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 8:31 pm
“Booty. Honor. Country. These three hallowed words revertently dictate what you ought to be, what you can be, what you will be.”
“A general is just as good or just as bad as the booty under his command make him.”
Gen Douglas McArthur Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 8:33 pm
” And like the old soldier in that ballad, I now close my military career and just fade away, an old soldier who tried to do his booty as God gave him the sight to see that booty.”
Gen Douglas MacArthur Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Still can’t top the New York Post’s original headline:
“CLOAK AND SHAG HER”
November 13th, 2012 at 10:01 pm
61 and 68 have my vote as #1
November 13th, 2012 at 10:18 pm
Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, hear the lamentation of MY women…
Conan “The Barbarian” Petraeus
November 13th, 2012 at 10:20 pm
” The Midnight Ride of Paula’s Rear”….Staring General PP
Mike Work here is done.
Long time Lurker.
Wheatthins
November 13th, 2012 at 10:22 pm
Give me catnip or give me booty. — Mikey the Large and In Charge
November 13th, 2012 at 10:24 pm
….Or better….”the midnight ride of Paula’s rear” a Biography of Paula Broadwell. Written By General Petraeus. Forward by Jill Kelly.
Now my work here is done.
Stay Classy
November 14th, 2012 at 6:32 am
You didn’t tap that booty yourself. – Barack Petraeus
What light through yon wondow breaks? It is the East, and that booty is the sun! – Shakespetraeus
Two booties diverged on the hershey highway, and I, I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference. Robert Frosty Petraeus
All In. – Paula Broadwell (still the number one quote for this whole thing, IMO)
November 14th, 2012 at 6:58 am
For what it’s worth, TSO: I think your “best quote” in the article is a bit out of order and may be incomplete.
In this case, I think it ought to be “Vici, vidi, veni – abii”. I saw, I conquered, I came – I went. (smile)
November 14th, 2012 at 7:26 am
A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of booty.
Napoleon Bonaparte
November 14th, 2012 at 8:49 am
I regret that I only have but one booty to lose for my country – Nathan Patraeus Hale