Steve “Snake Eyes” Jordan gets promoted

| November 18, 2012

TSO first wrote about Steve “Snake Eyes” Jordan over a year ago. He went to ground for a little bit, but it seems he’s back with even more douche-tooliness. Apparently, a fake beard and a blank firing adapter help him to kill terrorists so well that now he’s a promotable First Sergeant.

But, apparently, he has his sights set higher. There’s a petition, that we can reasonably attribute to his own pen, for his direct commission to lieutenant.

It is time to recognize the sacrifice of 1SG(P) Steve Jordan an his commitment to the defense of this nation. Despite the best efforts of his enemies, that has not been a serious attempt to come at him. His commitment to the Ranger Creed and the leadership his has provided to his soldiers is without precedence. Steve Jordan can pass on the traditions of duty, honor, and code to the officer corps if promoted.

I suspect that it won’t be long before he announces that his petition was successful and that he’s become a commissioned officer as a direct result of this petition.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (43)

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  1. NHSparky says:

    I should know better than to come here on my own computer.

    You owe me a monitor and keyboard.

  2. Old Trooper says:

    “Just a little something for all of my many fans out there to thank them for their loyalty and support. For those haters that they have what it takes, my address is 103 Walter Dr., Woodbridge, NJ 07095 – COME AT ME BRO!”

    LMFAO!! The little shitstain is still using the same line at the end, I see.

  3. Ex-PH2 says:

    Well, if functional illiteracy is a qualification for ossifership, I’d say he done got it in the bag.

    A tranquilizer dart and a blowgun…..

  4. Jaye19k says:

    Oh, he used my hometown of High Point, NC. That’s an automatic 10 kicks in the ass.

  5. RaptorFire22 says:

    The Army’s six stripes confuse me. In the Air Force, there’s a stripe for everything except e-1.

  6. Instinct says:

    Aw geez, why did I have to see this. Now I really want to hop a plane and kick his ass repeatedly for being such a turd

  7. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    He ought to can the military games and just run for Congress. He is from Jersey, as I recall. He can win there.

  8. PFM says:

    LOL A 2LT promotion is just the thing needed to increase my respect for a 1SG!

  9. AW1 Tim says:

    Looks like he’s auditioning for a new reality show: “Redneck Preppers”. 🙂

  10. OWB says:

    Dad gumb it all. Had I only known that a simple petition would have done it, I could have retired as a 6-star general instead of…

    Oh, well, never mind…

  11. Sig says:

    Is 1SG to 2LT really a promotion? I don’t know any who would take that deal.

  12. BruteForce says:

    Is this soup-sammich for real? Wow!

  13. Flagwaver says:

    Wow, there is a person who knows so little of the military that he actually thinks going from a Company Top Soldier to a Platoon Sniffles Wiper is a good thing…

    Is this guy really just trying to get his ass kicked or just piss us off… because he is about five seconds from both…

  14. marinewm86 says:

    Seriously where do these people come from? I am just amazed !! Funny how real Hero’s never talk about their heroism. And the one that I know says he was only doing what the Marine Corps trained him to do.

  15. RunPatRun says:

    I dunno, that looks like a relatively new FB timeline. There were a bunch of fake Steve Jordan profiles created after he was outed, I’m thinking this is yet another?

  16. Hondo says:

    I just love the bright orange decoration on the end of his “assault rifle”.

  17. Jonn Lilyea says:

    I thought it might be one of the “clone” FB pages, too, but this one seems to be chocked full of newer photos that we haven’t seen before.

  18. Green Thumb says:

    This clown is a shitbag.

  19. Flagwaver says:

    This might sound funny, but we should actually sign the petition. Wouldn’t it be high-larious if he actually got a commission and had to deploy? He would probably piss himself on the spot and do everything in the known universe to keep from going to the Rock Pile. Then come back saying that it was all a conspiracy to discredit him.

    On second thought, let’s just get a group together and go to his house to kick his ass. It would be cheaper and we could drink beer after.

  20. SJ says:

    I just found TAH earlier this year. After seeing this, I realize I need to get an adult beverage(s) and surf through the groove yard of never seen posers. It must be quite a collection.

  21. LebbenB says:

    Some folks just don’t know when to quit. What is it with Jersey and posers? Quite a few of them seem to come from there. (No offense to any of the Jerseyites who serve/served proudly whether as a HSLD door-kicker or as a legal specialist.)

  22. CAs6 says:

    This is sad. The original guy was pretty obviously a mentally retarded guy who took his games of pretend and make believe a little too far. Now his banner has been picked up by the reddit and 4chan crowd and they are trolling like this solely to make people angry. They are retards impersonating a legit retard just for their amusement. They are terrible people

  23. Scotty says:

    Come at me Bro.——Snake eyes Jordan. Since he admits that he’s lying. I find him more as a clown now instead of a poser.
    I will have to say though. This petition to get him promoted to officer is a new one. What will the idiot think of next ? LOL

  24. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    @22. I do not join LebbenB in apologizing if you’re from Joisey and offended. You’re a grown up. Leave that rat hole. And save the “but there are parts of New Jersey that are very nice” for someone else.

  25. HMCS(FMF) Ret says:

    “Snake Eyes” is an assclown….’nuf said!

  26. Green Thumb says:

    Dude is high speed, low drag.

  27. Joe in PNG says:

    Maybe we can appoint him Grand Admiral General of His Majesty the Queen’s Royal Swiss Navy?

  28. smoke-check says:

    Serious mental illness.

  29. RS says:

    there is this guy who has along the same lines of mental illness on youtube, claims to be a Gulf War vet, username is 155millimeter. He does some quite bizarre things which he claims is a result of his combat time as a 13B… so everything that snake eyes does i’m not shocked, maybe old snake eyes will be the first Commanding Admiral of a Light Infantry Div

  30. rb325th says:

    Another fake Jordan…. I would be willing to bet almost all of them are.

  31. skh.pcola says:

    I don’t recall ever knowing or meeting anybody in the army that included the (P) after their rank. What’s up with that? Did he see that somewhere and think that it was an award or something?

  32. I finally took a look at this newest assclownery. This guy must be totally retarded…but what scares me as of this minute, there are several folks who have voted to get him promoted.
    JesusHfuckingChrist. Are there that many retards in the world?

  33. WkAvngr211 says:

    @33, Obama just got reelected, so yes there are that many retards in the world.

  34. LebbenB says:

    @25. Seriously, I think you’re holding back. LOL

  35. Twist says:

    @32, I have met a few that have done that. Usually ossifers.

  36. OWB says:

    So we may have a case (or several cases) of ID theft of a poser? Or maybe we are observing the multiple personalities of a poser emerge?

    Oh, why not. If an idiot decides to claim stuff, why not develop several permutations of the claim.

    And how would one go about copyrighting one’s false claim? “Hey, buddy, how dare you use MY claims to special military hero status which I never earned. Go make up your own ridiculous story.”

    “Who stole my stolen valor?”

  37. Andy kravetz says:

    What does the (P) mean at the back of his “rank” and isn’t the rank typed SGT or 1st Sgt.? Again, civilian. Don’t flame. I don’t realy know.

  38. Jonn Lilyea says:

    Andy #38; (P) means “promotable” in the real world (Not Jordan’s) it would indicate that he’d been selected for promotion to the next rank by the Department of the Army, but that his promotion wasn’t actually effective yet.

  39. Hondo says:

    Andy Kravetz: to add to Jonn’s comment, the abbreviation “1SG” is the correct Army 3-character rank abbreviation for “First Sergeant”. I believe “1st Sgt.” is the accepted journalistic standard for same, but it’s not what the Army uses.

    The current DoD rank abbreviations for all services may be found here:

  40. Mero says:

    I honestly don’t know if his new facebook is legit or not, but it’s certainly frightening. He is really into some sick shit, he wins hands down for the most fucked up human being 2012. I mean I know he’s apparently into BDSM and cosplay… but he’s also really into wearing modified ACU maternity tops. I don’t even want to begin to speculate… So many terrible photos…

  41. Green Thumb says:

    This fool has “XO” written all over him.

  42. A_Proud_Infidel says:

    @RS: 13B is FA Gun Crew, a “Gun-bunny”, they just load, aim, and fire.