Do Marines have weight standards?

| November 19, 2012 | 109 Comments

Old Grouch sends us a link to this fellow who seems to be in competition for the “Roundest Marine” with our old buddy the “Round Marine“. It entirely possible that Romeo Martinez was a Marine at one time, but I doubt very much that he was ever a lieutenant of Marines.

Another possibility is that he may have swallowed whole a lieutenant, or there’s a lieutenant buried in one of his chin folds;

It’s reassuring that there’s someone for everyone.

No one gets a USMC tat without having actually been a Marine, right?

Category: Phony soldiers

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  1. Ex-PH2 says:

    You must warn people, Jonn. Good thing I haven’t had breakfast yet.

  2. Twist says:

    Yet another person that is devestated by the loss of Hostess.

  3. MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) says:

    ANALYSIS

    1. Bottle of Colt 45 Malt Liquor = Marine Juice.
    2. Smashed IPhone = Killer’s Rage.
    3. Close Cropped Beard = MARSOC.
    4. Filthy Apartment = Living with Indigenous Population.
    5. IPhone Ear Plugs = Listeniong to Next Mission Assignment Before it Self-Destructs.
    6. Marine Surrounded by Women = Marine SURROUNDED by Women.
    7. Wearing Female Clothes and Photographing Same = DADT Repealed.

    REAL DEAL

    END OF ANALYSIS

  4. USMCE8Ret12 says:

    Wrong fuggin’ answer, Romeo. The placement of the 2dLt bars are INCORRECT. They are worn horizontally on the collar, “parallel to the deck” not vertical on the collar -and Marines don’t wear their covers indoors, unless on duty and under arms. And yes, there IS a weight requirement for Marines! (What the f–k is he wearing in the 3d picture?)

  5. Twist says:

    @4 I do know that what he is wearing has reached it’s maximum cargo capacity.

  6. MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) says:

    Just for the record … I love the USMC … they are my brothers and sisters. I can not stand this POS! The above satire is intended to MOCK not OFFEND!

  7. Nik says:

    @6

    Understood. I don’t speak for all Marines, but I didn’t take offense.

    I do need to offer a correction, though. On number 6. It should read as:

    6. Marine Surrounded by Women = Women SURROUNDED by Marine…and it looks like he may have one or two more tucked away in his gullet.

  8. USMCE8Ret12 says:

    @6 – No offense taken, MCPO. I’ve been around this blog long enough to be able to make a distinction of what is insulting and what isn’t, and even the tongue in cheek comments. What urks me about this POS is evident… he’s wearing a uniform he isn’t entitled to, and has been worn by those who have earned it and make significant sacrifices. Sadly, that means little to those outside this blog and who haven’t shared the camaraderie we have in uniform, but the rest of you know where I’m coming from.

  9. Adirondack Patriot says:

    Nice back fat.

    Effectively absorbs enemy rounds when fleeing.

  10. Scubasteve says:

    He kind of looks like a JROTC Cadet getting a little out of control. He doesn’t look all that old.

  11. SnowSoldierMedic says:

    I’m an army guy and love to bust on the Marines just as much as the next soldier, but this is no joke. I hope those who are actual Marines apply their expected level of corrective action to this person. YIKES!
    https://www.facebook.com/romeo.martinez.35/photos_albums

  12. martinjmpr says:

    Maybe he’s trying to be the modern-day equivalent of Vincent D’Onofrio’s “Leonard Lawrence/Gomer Pyle” from Full Metal Jacket.

    Someone needs to notify Gunny Ermey. I can hear him now “You are a disgusting fatbody, Pyle!”

  13. TopGoz says:

    U.S. MARINES tape goes over the LEFT pocket there, douche bag.

  14. Chip@NASA says:

    He’s a little too sweet looking to be a Marine. DADT and all that.

  15. MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) says:

    And … yes he is from NYC … looks like Brooklyn base on Facebook evidence.

  16. Nik says:

    He does have the air of a shitbird about him. Maybe he was in and got booted out for pot use.

  17. Anonymous says:

    This is a first.
    Must be the only time in history when someone has pretended to be Gomer Pyle from the movie “Full Metal Jacket.”

  18. SSG Medzyk says:

    I kindly left this messege on his page:

    “Hey, fatass.

    There is no possible way your gluttenous mass is currently in the Marine Corp. Impersonating a Marine Officer is bad enough, but then you do so with dope and booze? What the fuck? Not only do you have the uniform built wrong, but you are wearing it incorrectly, you sorry piece of shit.

    I suggest you unfuck your photo page, apologize to all real Marines seeing it, and disavow any relation to any of the Armed Forces.”

    Sorry for the subtlety, I was trying to be nice :)

  19. NHSparky says:

    ETA: Is it just me or does this look a WHOLE lot like a 3-chinned Hispanic version of Freddy Mercury? I mean, just look at those DSL’s, man.

  20. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    The bottom pic has me baffled. Why would he go into a shithouse looking like shit and, using a shit-stained mirror, take a picture of himself, while holding his lard roll in? I don’t get it but that’s probably a good thing.

  21. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    @3, @8 Women? There were women in those photos?

    That last picture looks like some sort of sports bra control top garment and the purple swim goggles are just awesome for effect….there’s just no way fabric can be expected to control that fat burgers top.

    His facebook page stated he started working at USMC in 2008….unless those letters stand for Uber Sized Male Chicitas….

    Wow…

  22. MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) says:

    So lets give this POS an AlGore.net tag line that will live forever:

    Romeo Martinez Marine Poser Brooklyn, NY
    Romeo Martinez USMC Fake Brooklyn, NY
    Romeo Martinez United States Marine Corps Fraud Brooklyn, NY
    Romeo Martinez Stolen Valor Brooklyn, NY
    Romeo Martinez Brooklyn, NY

    OK Al do your thing with this info!

  23. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    @19. You are a sick fella, Sparky. The least you could do is admire his purple sunglasses before you go there.

  24. John Curmudgeon says:

    Wow, what a pig.

  25. Nik says:

    @19.

    Those ain’t tits. Those are Moobs in sore need of a Bro.

  26. Nicki says:

    Oh, crap. Sideboob! *gag*

  27. O-4E says:

    Come on! Officers don’t drink Colt 45. Get a microbrew and get with the game.

    Bringing sexy back

  28. RaptorFire22 says:

    If he isn’t on the range or doing anything involving using his rifle, why is there a magazine in his weapon in his pictures? Is that a Marine thing?

  29. AndyFMF says:

    Dogtags with plastic coating….no expense spared in faking.

  30. Wild Bill says:

    That boy has more chins than a San Fran phone book.

  31. LebbenB says:

    Wow…This guy would need a landing craft all to himself to get ashore. Of course once he got ashore, Greenpeace would be there trying to roll him back into the ocean. “Swim away, Willy! Be free!”

  32. JAGC says:

    I didn’t know the Marine Corps handed out officer commissions to people who merely “studied” at TCI College. Also, is grenadier an actual officer billet?

  33. Twist says:

    @29, I thought officers only sip expensive wine while eating caviar.

  34. LebbenB says:

    @35. While listening to classical music and playing a solo game of chess

  35. Mustang says:

    Thought I would join in. I also sent this to a couple of the Marines I served with who are now in Jersey.

    Hey fuckbag,
    If you’re going to pretend to be a Marine then you should at least figure out how to properly wear the uniform. Nametapes on the wrong side, LT bars not properly aligned, etc. Let’s also not forget the fact that “Grenadier” is not an MOS and that there is no Romero Martinez in MOL. I have a couple of Marines that I served with just across the river from you; I’m sure they’d like to get together and “have a drink” with you. If I were you I’d knock this shit of right fucking now.

    Sincerely yours,
    An actual fucking Marine

  36. USMCE8Ret12 says:

    “Grenadier” sounds cool, but for those who don’t know, it’s an assignment within a Marine fireteam – a PMOS 0311 (Rifleman) who carries the M203 grenade launcher, who is also the Fireteam Leader. Sadly, if he were an officer, this position would not go to him, as Infantry Officers carry the MOS 0302. It’s unlikely his fat-ass would make it through the Infantry Officer Course, let alone OCS/TBS.
    You Army guys know what I’m talking about, I’m sure. There are probably just a few variations in how the Corps and Army does things in the infantry world.

  37. marinewm86 says:

    WOW… Porkchop Platoon would even be embarrassed !

  38. martinjmpr says:

    @39: The only platoon this “LT” is qualified to lead is the Human Mine Detector Platoon. With his bulk he could detonate an AT mine pretty easily.

  39. Ex-PH2 says:

    Ah, the spaghetti-strap tank top. I see that he shops in the GAP women’s department. I just wonder if that one has the hidden bra. His cup runneth over, front and back.

    Couldn’t make up his mind which way to go, so he went both ways.

  40. Nik says:

    @33

    Meh. He could function as the landing craft himself. Fat floats, ya know.

    @38

    ” It’s unlikely his fat-ass would make it through the Infantry Officer Course, let alone OCS/TBS.”

    I doubt he could even make it through the O-course. Hell, looking like that, I doubt he could make it TO the O-course, unless there was a sandwich on a string involved somewhere.

    Can you imagine this chunk of junk trying to get through the confidence course? The slide for life would be like “Ow! Ow! Ow! Fuck it. SNAP!!!”

  41. Twist says:

    Nik, He has to make it through his door before he can even think about the O-course.

  42. marinewm86 says:

    Can you imagine this chunk of junk trying to get through the confidence course? The slide for life would be like “Ow! Ow! Ow! Fuck it. SNAP!!!”

    OMG Nik! I actually laughed out on this statement.. Good one

  43. Ex-PH2 says:

    He has never seen a pizza he didn’t like…or a french fry… or a gallon of ice cream….

  44. Nik says:

    @23

    “@3, @8 Women? There were women in those photos?”

    Hey now, just because his chest is bigger than theirs is no reason to question their femininity.

  45. LebbenB says:

    @42. “Arrr, mateys. Thar she blows off the starboard bow. All hands man the harpoon guns! This is a big’un!”

  46. Ex-PH2 says:

    I’ve heard of junk in the trunk…but this is ridiculous.

  47. RangerX says:

    We should drop him on Islamabad. The shockwave alone would kill more Taliban than the rest of the Corp combined…..

  48. Twist says:

    If this guy and the round Marine where to be stationed on Okinawa together the island really would flip over.

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