What D&D Character Alignment is this blog?

| December 5, 2012

Hey peeps, TSO coming to you live, 32,000 feet over Illinois, enroute to Las Vegas to be sumptuously exploited by The Man (Sheldon Adelson and the fine folks at the Armed Forces Foundation) with 50 of my wounded brothers and sisters who will be in sin city watching Army defeat Navy.   In the meantime, since this is a long flight, I figured I’d throw out geek bait.

Superbowl6Romeo sends me a ton of email, a large percent of which goes unread, because let’s be frank, those Firefly and How I Met Your Mother DVDs aren’t going to watch themselves.  Nonetheless, the other day I did click on one, entitled “The Best Dungeons & Dragons Character Alignments.”  You can lie and say you have no idea what that means, but let’s be honest for a minute, you people are no less dorks than I am.

Now, among other gems, this page states that:

Lawful Neutral
When I was a young D&D player, I thought Lawful Neutral was the most boring alignment. Then I read the Games of Thrones books and met Stannis Baratheon. There’s something very compelling about a dude who follows the law no matter how good/bad/insane the law is, with no regard for others or even himself. It might make for some (excitedly) awkward moments, like when that evil king orders the party to do something evil, like execute that princess. Sure, the rest of the party may be appalled, but Lawful Neutral ain’t care. Someone get him an axe.

Anyway, as I was reading through the piece Jonn wrote yesterday about the MRFF and religion, it got me thinking about this page S6R’d sent, and I started wondering what Character Alignment those of us who blog here would be.

I’m definitely lawful.  I don’t speed, I show up everywhere 20 minutes early, and I treat all flights like they are international and arrive at a ridiculous time.  When I see traffic arrows in a parking lot I follow them.  The thought of breaking a law actually makes me break out in a cold sweat.  The last time I broke a rule was at Ft Polk the night we moved into the box, but before the fight had actually started, and me and my buddy RoRo body breached the wire and headed out to do a leaders recon we weren’t supposed to do.  You know, just to see “enemy dispositions.”  When we got back to our FOB thing, all the lights were on, and I assumed we’d been busted.  I urged him to have us walk up to the main gate and turn our selves in.  He told me to stop being a homosexual, leaped the wire again, and acted like nothing was wrong.  No one would have cared either way I realize now, but I was so nervous I may have skid marked by BDUs.  It probably stems from The Citadel where I got busted for damn near every offense in the book.

That said, I have to admit I’d probably run over a kid enroute to catch a Stolen Valor guy.  So I guess that makes me Lawful Neutral?  I don’t know to be honest.

Jonn though, doesn’t strike me as too caught up on rules.  He’s definitely Chaotic, but is he good, evil or neutral?  Joe probably thinks he is evil, others probably thing he’s good.  I think he just doesn’t give a shit.  But, I don’t think there is a “Chaotic Doesn’t Give a Shit” category.

ArmySergeant would be lawful good.  At least in her own mind.  We might quibble on whether she’s actually good, but she believes it 100 percent.  She’s probably not going to read this as she is likely enroute to North Korea to follow up on the unicorn cave find from a week ago.  That’s just the way she is.

Anyway, what do you guys think?  What is our collective character alignment over here?




Category: Politics

Comments (37)

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  1. S6R says:

    I believe that Chaotic Neutral, canonically, is the Chaotic I-Don’t-Give-a-Shit alignment of choice and yes, Jonn does tend towards that (I mean that in the most affectionate and least gay-affectionate way possible…for a gamer)

    Couldn’t really say for the Blog overall as it’s still too early and I’m still running on a caffeine deficit, but you TSO are so Lawful Good it hurts. You’re actually a good example of why a) Paladins don’t always have to be goody-goodies, and b) the Bard in the party needs to slap the Paladin and get tackled every once in a while to help get him out of his rut so he can feel blood flow in his veins again.

  2. Heh. Perception is reality, the truth is simply an interesting fact.

    To most of my readers, I’m Lawful Goodie-two-shoes (being a well-known squish). However, to the Brady Bunch and their fellow-travelers, I am Chaotic-Evil Central On The Web…

    And the GO corps probably isn’t a fan, either.

  3. Hondo says:

    I think you hae a wee bit much time on yer hands, laddie . . . . (smile)

  4. The Dead Man says:

    If you’re a fan of the Game of Thrones series you should check out the Black Company by Glen Cook. It’s what I grew up reading. Wonder if I should be bothered that I found it easier to relate to a bunch of morally questionable mercenaries than I ever did to a boyscout type character. Might explain why I tend to play rogues and spies in those sort of games though. I do love me a blindside

    You should look up Chaotic Stupid, Lawful Stupid and Chaotic Shortbus while you’re reading up on the system though.

  5. NHSparky says:

    I’ll go with the Chaotic Evil, just to be a contrarian sumbitch.

  6. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    What in the blue blazes? Send the decoder ring STAT!

  7. TSO says:

    Hey, I’m on an airplane and WoW won’t work on this crap internet, so you get random shit like I just wrote.

  8. Ex-PH2 says:

    I never got involved in D&D, am not familiar with any of the parameters involving character designation, but I read The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings in the 1960s, and ALL (yes, ALL) of Heinlein’s books, plus Walter Farley’s horse books and Isaac Asimov’s Lucky Starr books when I was a kid.

    I identify squarely with Ripley from the “Alien” movies (well, the first two); with Eowyn, Boadiccea, and Ado Annie from “OKlahoma” – take my like I am or leave me be. And no, I won’t put down the sword. Or the crossbow.

    So I guess that puts me in the CHIDGAS category? Don’t know.

  9. Ex-PH2 says:

    That’s “take me like I am”. ARGGGHH! Not proofreading. Sorry.

  10. The Sniper says:

    TSO: Lawful neutral
    Jonn: Lawful Neutral
    Army Sergeant: Chaotic Good
    S6R: Lawful Fabulous

  11. Kenneth says:

    I always thought of the USA as the Chaotic Good to Britain’s Lawful Good.

  12. Twist says:

    @4, I loved the Black Company books. I started them when I was doing the MFO mission in the 90’s. I couldn’t find the last few of them until I got my e-reader and finally finished them. As far as Game of Thrones, Martin needs to hurry up and finish the next book before the sun burns out.

  13. melle1228 says:

    I guess I am not self-aware, so I took a test online:


    I would have said that I was lawful good, but according to the test– I am neutral good. Now Bring on the Orcs!

  14. At Drum says:

    The blog tries for Chaotic Good, but winds up overall more Lawful Neutral. They even made a D20 version of the Black Company books. Now we just need some Hawk and Fisher type games to get us through the night.

  15. NHSparky says:

    I’ll need to take that test when I get home. Work filters don’t like it for some goofy reason.

    Of course, if I were truly Chaotic Evil, I’d break through the firewall and do lots of damage in the process, so I guess that assessment is out.

  16. Twist says:

    @15, Yeah I tried that too but my work filters won’t let me since it is “informational”.

  17. The Dead Man says:

    Test said I was Chaotic Neutral, I’m… really not surprised. #14 I saw those books once, never tried it though. I wouldn’t mind seeing some of his other series turned into games though. I bet Garret PI would be a funny sandbox game or p&p type.

  18. BK says:

    A friend of mine just wrote a piece for the e-zine “The Weeklings” about how Dungeons and Dragons character alignment can help fiction writing. It’s true; I used it to template the broad ethos, “how will this character act in this circumstance,” with the idea, there is how we perceive our alignments to be, and what we are when such things are tested.

    I almost wish there were a more graduated scale. I’m a Torah-observant Jew, keep kosher, try not to bowl on Shabbos, etc. Same with the military. But I do these things with goal of seeing the Divine realized in cheerful solidarity with me fellow citizens. I feel “Lawful Good,” but then, I would gleefully rebel against unjust laws.

    This blog, to me, feels Lawful Good with disguised sometimes as Lawful Neutral. Take, for instance, its vigorous pursuit of the valor thieves. In those pursuits, we wave off the cultural penchant for a debilitating artificial adherence to “compassion” and “empathy” (the new age definition of “good” being a self-focused one). I would argue that the focus on the consequences for veterans is generally the better “good”, because it focuses on the needs of the many vs. the needs of the few (yes, Wrath of Khan was on ScyFy last night). I worry that the definition of “good” as it stands today is wrapped around these notions that our hearts must bleed profusely for those in circumstances so often made by their own choosing. And yet, I think most of the people here would also gleefully rebel if unjust laws became more and more common.

  19. Jon The Mechanic says:

    To my shock and surprise, I answered the quiz from #13, and came out Lawful Good. I always considered myself Neutral Good.

  20. OldSoldier54 says:

    I have NO frikin’ idea what you are talking about.

  21. ANCCPT says:

    This blog leans towards Chaotic Good.
    As soldiers, and having a warrior mentality, we want to right wrongs. As individuals, some of the people here lean lawful or chaotic, but overall, this crowd here tends towards Chaotic.
    The reason I say this is that we would fight for what we believe in to the end, wether it was in ‘the rules’ or not.

    Example: A group of insurgents/bandits is raiding a town, killing the citizens on purpose. You are heavily armed, and well trained and could wipe the floor with the bad guys and save the townsfolk. However, the bandits are loyal to a very powerful local warlord, who your boss/leaders want to get in good with, so you are ordered to hold your fire, and not to fire unless fired upon. How do you respond?

    Lawful good: Follows orders, with tears in their eyes. They want to help, but they’ve received a lawful order, and they aren’t being engaged. Rules are rules.
    Chaotic good: “WHAT?!?!?! We’re not going to let those people get massacred, not while we can stop em! Come on, fellows!!!! /draws cavalry saber and sounds the charge!

    Now knowing the crowd here, what is the more likely of the responses?

  22. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    @20. I guess you don’t have a decoder ring either.

  23. Twist says:

    @22, Thats why I commented about books. Unforunatly my enigma machine is broken.

  24. Ex-PH2 says:

    I have always viewed this blog as a version of Josey Wales.

  25. NHSparky says:

    It’s not right; this damn woman doing something like this to me. I used to have power. Now old age is creeping up on me.

  26. Detn8r says:

    Neutral Good with Chaotic tendancies! And absolutely love the “Black Company” Series.

  27. Anonymous says:

    I would say that this blog is heavily aligned chaotic good. Isay that, because I have seen what happens when we catch some douchebag in a lie (stolen valor). It becomes absolute chaos.

  28. David says:

    Sorry, that last comment was mine.

  29. PtolemyInEgypt says:

    Blog? Probably Neutral or Chaotic Good, but it’s been awhile since my RPG days. I used to avoid “good” sticking with straight Neutral or Lawful Neutral characters. Unless I was playing the Anti-Paladin to which there was no choice- Lawful Evil with a heavy emphasis on the E-e-e-vil, baby.

    Man, I sound like such a dweeb.

  30. NR Pax says:

    A good cartoon that explains the alignments.

  31. Jonn Lilyea says:

    Actually, I’m pretty anal about time…except when I’m meeting TSO somewhere. I’m the guy who’s at the airport gate when the flight before mine is loading. The only time I don’t give a shit about something is when something else takes priority – like when troops are getting killed because of a stupid Army policy.

    Of course, there is me buying complete kit in Multicam because the Army says that the troops can only wear Multicam in Afghanistan and I’m in CONUS. And buying a 27-round magazine for my Glock because it freaks out the gun control Nazis. And buying a 10mm because the FBI rejected it when they found out their agents couldn’t handle the kick. And buying several thousand rounds of ammunition over the internet because that freaks out the the gun control Nazis.

    I’m debating whether I should buy a Remington Model 700 LTR in .338 Mag or put a 10″ barrel on my M4 – depending on which freaks out the gun control Nazis more.

    But I pay all of my taxes and my bills on time, I register my truck on time, I never run out of gas. Yeah, I guess I don’t give shit about what people think of me, but 6000 people a day come here to read about it, so…whatever pigeon hole you cram me into, I’m good with it.

  32. B Woodman says:

    Chaotic Neutral.
    I tend to good, when the rules/laws/whatever make sense — to me, even for pragmatic reasons. (Thanks, RAH, for lessons on rubbing blue mud on your belly to blend in when necessary, and women and children first).
    Otherwise, silly rules are ignored or flagrantly broken.

  33. Robert says:

    English please?

  34. malclave says:

    I never viewed Lawful alignments as being limited to “following the rules”. I always thought they were more along the lines of “preferring order”.

    For those people unfamiliar with the D&D alignment system, there are two axes:
    Ethics – Lawful, Neutral, Chaotic
    Morals – Good, Neutral, Evil

    In general, I think the blog is Neutral Good with Lawful tendencies. That is, it promotes the good of the community as a whole, rather than the individual, leaning slightly to a preference towards an ordered society.

  35. Ex-PH2 says:

    25 Sparky — Endeavor to persevere.

  36. Ex-PH2 says:

    Thank you, Jonn.

    And I do owe everyone here a thank you, also, for an update in my thesaurus of invective.