Robert Hoffman; Submariner spy wannabe

| December 7, 2012

Ex-PH2 sends us a link to an NBC video report about Robert Hoffman, a former member of the Navy who was arrested yesterday for trying to pass information about our submarine technology to people he thought were representing the Russian Federation, but I’m guessing that they were US Federal agents instead.

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It should make the submarine folks on this blog happy to finally have one of their own to hate on for a change.

Category: Navy

Comments (61)

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  1. NR Pax says:

    Quick common sense guide to people thinking of doing things like this.

    Rule 1: Don’t sell secrets or buy illegal things from FBI agents.

    Rule 2: The guy offering to buy your stuff or sell you illegal things is an FBI agent.

    Some people are too dumb to function without reminder notices.

  2. AW1 Tim says:

    As someone who used to hunt submarines, I hate this guy even more. The last thing I want is for OUR technology to get into the hands of potential enemies and make ASW even harder than it already is.

    I hope he gets a long time vacation to a federal prison.

  3. NHSparky says:

    Crypto Tech (CT). IOW, maybe a “rider” at one point, but never a submariner.

    Still want to see this fucker fry. Remember, Walker/Whitworth had access and sold crypto to the Soviets too.

    Unless he fesses up to smoking poles, he’s not in a protected class, so this guy’s trial and burial UNDER the prison should be swift.

  4. Hondo says:

    Crypto tech, eh? So was Walker. And the sub tech stuff Walker sold the Soviets was actually the lesser impact.

    Wrap this bastard with about 100lb of chain, padlock it tightly to itself, grease him up, shove him into a tube, and fire one.

  5. NHSparky says:

    Screw that. Let him walk the piers of the submarine bases, and while he stands on the brow of each and every boat in each and every port we’ve got boats starting with Norfolk, he gets dickpunched by each and every crewmember of each and every boat.

    Actually, I’ll do one better. First guy off the first boat he visits gets to knock his fucking teeth down his throat with a shore power wrench. That’ll teach him to give a shit-eating grin like that.

  6. Ex-PH2 says:

    The video doesn’t say if he was still on active duty when he tried out his ‘marketing skills’, but the stuff he was selling was classified, and he’s been out of the service for a year (according to the report). He was at a cockfight ๐Ÿ˜› when he was busted.

    So, isn’t his clearance automatically canceled once he’s out? And if he’s been out for a year, how did he get his hands on the material to begin with? I’d just like to see more information than this abbreviated 30-second info shot.

    Otherwise, I agree with you guys – he needs to be dragged behind my car down a highway under repair.

  7. Traitors, the lowest kind of scum. No punishment that has been invented so far is good enough for them.

  8. Ex-PH2 says:

    This is from a print new report:

    Hoffman, 39, is described as a 20-year veteran of the U.S. Navy who was trained in cryptology and reached the rank of petty officer first class. He retired from active duty in November 2011. According to his biography released by the military, he served as a submarine warfare specialist.

    Link is below:

  9. Twist says:

    Sometimes I think we need to bring back the Greek’s Brazen bull.

  10. NHSparky says:

    PH2–more likely than not he was offering what he knew rather than any tangible assets (i.e., manuals, etc.) As you know, the one thing they can’t do is the MIB look into the pretty light flashy thing.

    15 years after the fact and I can (quite literally) still do a full reactor startup in my sleep.

  11. NHSparky says:

    ETA: Although if he was offering manuals or other material his house, etc., is more likely than not being torn to the foundation as we speak. Good.

  12. Ex-PH2 says:

    Sparky, please don’t start up reactors in your sleep.

    I can till explain the way photons excite the silver halides in a film emulsion layer and how developer chemistry makes them clump into grains so that an image appears on the film, even though all the images I shoot now are digital.

  13. Virtual Insanity says:

    It’s funny, the things you remember. I can still describe the function of the UH-1H Variable Inlet Guide Vane Actuator (as can my wife, who helped me study in flight school), the four types of hypoxia, as well as the shut-down sequence for an OH-58C. Remembering birthdays and where I’m supposed to meet my wife on Wednesday night? Not so much.

  14. NHSparky says:

    VI–heard that. Immediate actions for a fast Rx coolant leak? Nailed it. What did I have for lunch on Tuesday? Not a clue.

  15. Twist says:

    @13, I can still describe verbatum from FM 23-67 my M-60, but can’t remember where I left my truck keys.

  16. Virtual Insanity says:

    In that vein, maybe Jonn should post this:

    I think (hope) it’s a joke….

  17. Scubasteve says:

    #6, Not necessarily. The report doesn’t say what he’s doing now, other than supporting cockfighting, but if he had a civilian job that required a clearance, it would be transferred over.

  18. melle1228 says:

    #13 My husband is the same way. He can remember chapter 5 & 9 like the back of his hand, but remember to take the trash out every Thursday-nope! I am assuming that is a military or a male thing.

  19. melle1228 says:

    LOl– Furthermore if you were to ask him the fatality buttons for Mortal Combat from years ago; I am sure he could remember that. And I know it is a male thing, because my 13 year old son is the same way.

  20. NHSparky says:

    Twist–other pants.

  21. Virtual Insanity says:

    NHSparky–or, more likely, in the truck.

  22. 68W58 says:

    I’m not sure I can remember regulations and procedures like the rest of you guys, but I’ve for the basics down: bleeding=bad.

  23. NHSparky says:

    Unless it’s that assclown in prison, bleeding rectally after Bubba and all his buddies get done with him.

    I’m still liking the shore power wrench in his shit-eating grin idea.

  24. Green Thumb says:


  25. Ex-PH2 says:

    Twist, Sparky, VI — green bowl next to the phone on the table by the cherry chest-of-drawers.

  26. RandomNCO says:

    Where do you even find someone to try and sell secrets to? Craigslist?

  27. melle1228 says:


    I wouldn’t doubt.. And then they sit in jail saying “I wonder how I got caught.”

  28. NHSparky says:

    Random–there are worse places.

    Remeber that Walker just walked up to the Soviet Embassy in DC and gave himself and a cipher card to the KGB rezident on a silver platter.

  29. BK says:

    This is the same sort of reason I yell at any of my wanker Pollard-supporter peers. These guys threaten to do or do great harm to the rest of us, and the detail and imagination put into a very drawn-out execution should satisfy every individual who could die or be injured because jackwagons like this turn mercenary.

  30. Geetwillickers says:

    @26 – I remember a case of a soldier getting nailed for trying to sell a DAGR (Military GPS) on e-bay. Seriously. Guess who the winning bidder was?

  31. Poohbah, Lord High Everything Else says:

    Submariner wisdom:

    “The stupid shall be punished.”

  32. NHSparky says:

    I’m waiting for Joel over at TSSBP to pick this one up. Guess he’s busy today.

    Another bit–stupidity can (and should) be painful.

  33. Ex-PH2 says:

    Hey, I have an idea. Let’s put Bob with Breanna. They can share stories, bitch and moan, and wait for sentencing.

    Then the sentence is: drop them off in the middle of somewhere with no idea how they got there, no map, no compass, no food, no water, no shelter and only the clothes they were wearing the day they were arrested.

    Just make sure it’s a long distance away from here.

    Mars is good.

  34. Hondo says:

    Ex-PH2: I’d recommend Adak in the Aleutians. Or maybe Shemya.

  35. Ex-PH2 says:

    Oh, further out than that, Hondo. Adak is too close in.

    How about Semisopochnoi? It’s mostly volcanoes. There’s also Gareloi. Just one big volcano, rumbles a lot.

  36. Hondo says:

    Those would work too. But Buldir Island might be even better. It’s halfway between the two westernmost island groups in the Aleutians.

  37. Ex-PH2 says:

    Hondo, I concur.

  38. Green Thumb says:

    I keep thinking of that movie “Burn after Reading” where Jon Malckovich says “the Russians, really…the Russians”.

  39. Twist says:

    How about just out on the pack ice? Polar bears got to eat too.

  40. NHSparky says:

    Twist–nah, there’s a very small chance one of them would get lucky and kill a polar bear, and find warmth and food from them.

    South Pole would be MUCH better. In July.

  41. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    The first and only Marine to be charged with espionage was a fellow by the name of Clayton (Craig) Lonetree. He was convicted and sentenced to 30 years. His sentence was later reduced to 15 and he was released in 1996, after serving 8+ years.

    This Navy guy may not go away at all, let alone for a long time. He TRIED to pass info. The Marine actually forked over some stuff and was paid by the Rooskies.

  42. Gallagher Fan says:

    Hahahahaha @NHSparky in comment 3. That’s rich coming from a guy who spent his career riding an underwater phallic synbol.

  43. Nik says:

    An underwater phallic symbol full of seamen.

  44. Roger in Republic says:

    One wall. One post. One squad of armed men. One blindfold (optional).

  45. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    @42. So, punky, how long have you had that penis fixation?

  46. UpNorth says:

    @#25, what is that “phone” thing you speak of?
    Folks, your solutions are imaginative, but expensive.
    Why not dress them in brown, tie a couple of tree branches to their heads and turn them loose in Northern Michigan on November 15(First day of deer season)? Guarantee they wouldn’t see 5pm that day.

  47. 2-17 Air Cav says:

    @46. Is the tag fee waived?

  48. Ex-PH2 says:

    @46 – It’s the thing people used to use to talk to each other when they weren’t together in the same place. Invented after smoke signals, handwritten letters, telegrams and ships’ signal flags.

    I have no idea what people use now.

  49. streetsweeper says:

    Its about damn time you boom tube riders got one of your own to screw with, LOL! Loving this!

  50. UpNorth says:

    @47, fee waived, and bonus paid for a kill. A case of beer, or a quart of liquor, winner’s choice.