Flesh Wounds; the absolutely worst military movie ever made

| December 10, 2012 | 52 Comments

My satellite remote crapped out this weekend, so while I waited for the replacement, I decided that I’d watch Netflix. Since my favorite movies have to do with the military, I looked for flicks of that genre. I found this totally POS movie “Flesh Wounds” which stars Kevin Sorbo. Whoever their military adviser was on this flick should be run out of Hollywood on a rail. To begin with, they get their mission from this colonel;

Can you find anything correct on his uniform? What you can’t see is that he has two unit patches on his left shoulder – both full color. He offers the Sorbo character $150,000/per man for the operation, like our troops get paid by the mission, not by the month. Their big, scary member of the team is just a fat, flabby POS with fake tattoos. The dialogue is just nasty gay jokes. You can read some of the half-wit dialogue at the IMDb link. The firefights are a joke.

If you’re ever sitting around with your military friends and you want to have a contest counting the mistakes in a war movie, this is the one you want, if they can still see the movie through tears from laughter. I have no idea what the movie is about, I turned it off after the first firefight.

Someone should lose their job over this POS.

Category: Hollywood shitbags

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  1. Scubasteve says:

    Worst military theme movies? My list (not all inclusive, of course)

    Firebirds- The Army’s not so clever retort to Top Gun.

    Silver Strand – The Navy SEAL version of Army Wives-rolled up into a movie (found it in the discount bin in Korea).

    Crimson Tide – Ugh. Even I felt bad for the Navy

    Universal Soldier – I remember the scene when Dolph Lundgren goes crazy and cuts ears off people, then holds them up and screams “I can’t hear you!!”

    Red Dawn (2012 version) – How did the Marines sit still for being portrayed like that? Better yet, how did Patrick Swayze not come back and bitch slap the producers for using that name?

    Rambo – Yeah, cuz we’re all crazy.

    Navy SEALs – Nothing really to say here.

    Basic – Basically, it sucked.

    The General’s Daughter – I am a huge fan of Nelson DeMille’s books, but the movie is definitely not the book. And I felt bad thinking she had a nice body while she’s splayed out and staked down, dead.

    Don’t even remember the name of it, but it’s about the airplane that goes on autopilot and does its own thing. I think it had Jamie Foxx in it. I don’t even think I finished watching it.

    And many more….

  2. sfc Holland says:

    The jamie fox movie you are thinking of is stealth. Also has a very hot Jessica beil in it. Didn’t save the movie from being craptacular though. The jet downloaded a bunch of crappy music and decided to disobey orders because a douchey pilot did? That’s a great movie. Pft!

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