The original assault weapon on Ebay

| January 10, 2013 | 24 Comments

Country Singer sent us a link to an important find on Ebay. Apparently someone is willing to part with their Assault Weapon, the Assault Rock 15 (AR15 for you amateurs);

Assault Rock - 15

Here are some of the questions for clarification of the purchase from potential bidders;

Q: This looks like a Rock River Arms weapon. Can you verify?
A: It is a LaRock Tactical. I only deal in high-end rocks.

Q: I forgot to ask if you will accept payment in imitation crab meat.
A: I am Asian, so yes I would consider it.

Q: Pending an all out assault weapon ban, will this Ar-15 be safe to bury if the government decides to confiscate?
A: If they ban rocks, it’s time to secede!

Q: Is this the same style assault rock that I see the Palestinians use on TV or a different model?
A: Those are mostly sandstone. This AR15 is metamorphic and thus much denser. Think 45-70 vs. 22LR.

Q: How much carbon build up is present in this AR15 and how easily do you think it can be removed? I would hate for this weapon to jam.
A: It has not yet been carbon-dated but based on the half-life of carbon -14 at ~5750 years, this AR15 will only become more reliable as it ages.

You guys had better jump on this while it lasts.

Category: Who knows

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  1. ROS says:

    Breakdown for cleaning would be a bitch.

  2. Hondo says:

    Bingo, ROS. Damned if I can figure out how to disassemble that one without tools, either! (smile)

  3. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    @1 It comes with an official AR-15 Rockhammer for cleaning and breakdown…the Rockhammer can also be used for retooling your AR-15 into additional capabilities, such as the Bushmaster Stoneaxe…

  4. PintoNag says:

    God, the licensing will be a freakin’ nightmare!

  5. Charles says:

    EBay took the listing down.

  6. OWB says:

    Shhh. Don’t tell anyone that we have several of these already. They will probably license them according to weight. (We could be in serious trouble here!)

  7. Mustang says:

    Another one has been posted: http://www.ebay.com/itm/CAVEMAN-AR-Assault-Rock-Tactical-Model-/261153633948?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3ccdf8369c

    This is the original, tried and true assault weapon. This assault weapon predates the newer versions such as the AR15 by thousands of years and has shown a great track record of reliability. No need to worry about jamming your assault rock!

    These have been flying off the shelf since Cain assaulted Abel with a similar model. Get it now while you still can. These will probably be the next item added to the assault weapon ban.

    This particular model has been highly rated for it’s dependability, enhanced grip texture, fit and finish and ease of concealment.

    This is meant for decorative and historical purposes only.

    Pictures are of actual assault weapon. Look at how easily it conceals!

  8. gi_janearng says:

    That might be all that we have left after Biden’s press conference was interrupted with news that a 16 year old shot a fellow student and missed a teacher in LA today with a 12-gauge.

  9. streetsweeper says:

    I WANT ONE! Just based on its carbon half life alone, it would last a really long time. I like the Bushmaster Stoneaxe capabilities too. Versatility at its finest.

  10. Anonymous says:

    #3: Since hammers kill more people than guns, the Rockhammer will be banned by executive order.

  11. PintoNag says:

    @8 Yeah, maybe we should ban 16 year olds in schools. Oh, wait…

  12. gi_janearng says:

    @11 I’m just waiting for all the gun grabbers to rethink their stance on everyone only being allowed to own shotguns. After all, that’s usually the first thing out of their mouths, “they are only used for hunting…”

  13. CAs6 says:

    …but does it have a 30 pebble clip? Those danged high capacity clips will get you every time.

  14. NHSparky says:

    What they need is to put on a flash arrestor, bayonet mount, pistol grip, and paint it scary black.

    That’ll get the liberal panties all bunched up.

  15. CW3 Ret says:

    Absolutely hilarious, Send this to VP Biden immediately so the President can issue an executive order to have them outlawed. Better yet send it to the UN so it can be included in the new world order ban.

  16. Tom Huxton says:

    I once had an unauthorised rock confiscated as an illegal weapon. Summer ’69 on LZ Jamie (1st Air Cavalry firebase north of Tay Ninh) I had fashioned a handle on a fist-sized rock to smash ice because I was afraid of puncturing my ice chest with a knife.
    Someone high above saw fit to task a shiny-new Lt, to fly out and confront me about my illegal weapon. I sighed, looked over my weapon stack, my grenade pouch and the M-60, as well as the six M-102s within 50 feet of me. I removed the shoelace braided handle and presented the Butterbar with the rock. He made a hasty retreat back to the Huey that had brought him and carried the confiscated rock back to whomever had sent him.
    True story—– Who was that young officer? (I do not know)

  17. DaveO says:

    Slings… nice!

  18. GruntSgt says:

    I hope they’ve improved the performance and worked out the bugs…my first one kept stovepiping in the sling.

  19. Wild Bill says:

    After 25 years in the fire service, I had a few former Marines who became firefighters who could break it if left alone with one, or lose it.

  20. MAJMike says:

    I’m working on a plastic version that can be smuggled through airport checkpoints.

    Needs a Picatinney rail for the Eotech sight.

  21. Ex-PH2 says:

    I do have some stone (chert) arrowheads, if anyone is interested. I can also provide instruction on the construction of stone knives and stone handaxes. Sharper edges than surgical steel. If one of them breaks, just go to the nearest gravel pit and stock up.

  22. Eggs says:

    “You guys had better jump on this while it lasts”

    No time for that now, I apparently have a back yard full of small arms I need to secure. I guess that makes me a nut of some sort.

  23. Twist says:

    Is there a 10 day wait period?

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