Freedom Stansbury; phony at Eglin (Updated)
Someone sent us the wonderous tale of Freedom Douglas Stansbury, who they tell me has been hanging around the gym at Eglin Air Force Base pretending to be an Army Captain at EOD school – they tell me that captains don’t attend the school at Eglin. But, apparently he’s been chewing out NCOs at the gym for doing exercise improperly and for being fatbodies. Apparently, he’s just some New Jersey hoodrat with a lower enlisted girlfriend who signs him into the post. But here’s the poster that Eglin Law Enforcement issued on him;
And their summary of the incident that led to his apprehension;
Here’s some of the stuff he does;
For roughly a month this guy has been seen at our gym and various other places on post. He has been known to give uniform corrections and harass Army personnel. He was posing as a Captain and had the the balls to reprimand 1st Sgts and Platoon Sgts. He even ordered a PSG and his platoon to do corrective PT until he was satisfied.
When questioned about his business on post he gave several different stories to include: he was a student at EOD school (although captains in the Army are not eligible), he was a JAG officer on TDY, and that he is soon to be an incoming commander. Last week he pushed his luck a little too much when he came to our PT formation wearing ACUs with CPT rank, Ranger tab and a 101st unit and deployment patches. He told our 1st Sgt that he was looking for a private who was talking on his cellphone and failed to salute him as he passed. Our 1st Sgt then questioned him as to his unit and battalion commander. The man could not give a straight story and when asked his name the man replied “Cpt Freedom Stansbury” the 1st Sgt said he would take care of the situation and he left.
So, you folks down at Eglin keep your eye for this douche nozzle and give him a throat punch for me.
Mary sends us this mug shot of little Freedom when he was arrested for theft of services in Essex County, NY;
And another when he was arrested for “contempt” in Clarksville, TN
January 11th, 2013 at 9:56 am
No No, it’s throat punches on Thursdays, its face stomps on Friday. At least that’s what Maj. Liberty Krzyzewski told me while after he corrected me for not shining my tan boots.
January 11th, 2013 at 9:56 am
A throat punch would be a good starting point, a nice old school 4ss whipping would be moving in the right direction. Some soap in a sock and 30 guys pounding some sense in him wouldn’t hurt either.
Based on his history I doubt we are in any danger of this individual becoming a contributing member of society anytime soon. Might be time to excise the cancer.
January 11th, 2013 at 9:59 am
I like the BOLO – “COMMISHIONED” Officer! Is that how fake O-1 through O-10s will be identified as now?
January 11th, 2013 at 10:08 am
His girlfriend Bubba must be so proud…
January 11th, 2013 at 10:13 am
Iw as reading another blog that was talking about foreign phrases/words that had no direct English translation, and there was one for this turd:
Backpfeifengesicht (German): A face badly in need of a fist.
Yup.
January 11th, 2013 at 10:14 am
Army Captains are allowed at the school, although they’ve stopped accepting them as of this summer. There’s also a handful of them who work there.
This guy is pretty ballsy. How do people think that they can pull these things off?
January 11th, 2013 at 10:25 am
Jim–remember, Soup Sandwich was at BENNING, for Chrissakes.
Never confuse excess of balls with lack of brains.
January 11th, 2013 at 10:38 am
“This guy is pretty ballsy. How do people think that they can pull these things off?”
Because we coddle them when instead we should put then in a hoispital bed for the rest of their life.
January 11th, 2013 at 10:41 am
“He even ordered a PSG and his platoon to do corrective PT until he was satisfied.”
Someone needs to throat-punch that PSG as well!
I can not imagine what would have happened if some unknown Cpt had ordered Jonn and his platoon to drop!?
January 11th, 2013 at 10:52 am
Since he is already at Eglin he could benefit from a few days at Camp Rudder being “helped” by the 6th Ranger Training Bn. I hear Swamp Phase is great this time of year.
January 11th, 2013 at 10:58 am
I like how the Security Forces guys can’t even spell.
January 11th, 2013 at 10:59 am
I actually had a CPT order my Det. (EOD) to drop because he did not like the way we wore our gear. After a moderate conversation, he found his way to other areas of the post, looking like the shit bag he was.
I was very tactful in describing what the different gear did and why we wore them in a personal manner. I guess his chief complaint was the fact that most of us had at least two large bladed knives and some form of tomahawk/hatchet.
January 11th, 2013 at 10:59 am
It takes a special kind of stupid to do the things this jackwagon has done.
Jesus wept.
January 11th, 2013 at 11:01 am
What a complete f*cking tool
This guy needs the sh*t kicked out of him
January 11th, 2013 at 11:08 am
And the girlfriend who signed him onto the base? Does Army have special plans for her??
Dang – in the “good old days,” you did NOT get to just sign folks onto base unless it was for a specific event. When did it become fashionable to even consider allowing civilians free access??
Sure, this a really delusional individual who deserves everything that can be meted out to him, but there are more serious security considerations at play here that are quite disturbing.
January 11th, 2013 at 11:15 am
Barracks rats have to get on post somehow!
January 11th, 2013 at 11:18 am
@9 – Agree… I never made it as far as PSG, but I can tell you nothing would have made my level of respect for my PSG drop lower faster than seeing him comply with something like that.
Any PSG worth a damn would have had some very specific instructions for relocating his cranial structure from his anal regions…
January 11th, 2013 at 11:36 am
@12 – I can imagine a lot of folks who subscribe here have done similar things, such as: “Let me add some experience to your hypothesis, there – Captain.” After being appropriately schooled, the Captain just walked away with his feelings hurt, but learned a hard lesson all the same.
January 11th, 2013 at 11:38 am
If I played the drinking game for every spelling and grammatical mistake in that summary…….a good time it would be.
January 11th, 2013 at 11:39 am
“The farce is strong in this one . . . . “
January 11th, 2013 at 11:40 am
I was going to ask how it took so long to realize they were being played by a thug poser, then I saw the misspelling in the BOLO and knew why….
January 11th, 2013 at 11:45 am
Assuming this guy wasted, say, a hundred man-hours of people’s time by pulling this shit, I think after his “girlfriend” gets her Art. 15 for being a dumbshit, our little thug boy gets the same hundred hours of people’s potentially wasted time getting smoked.
Without a break.
January 11th, 2013 at 12:01 pm
Not for antyhing, but in the incident report it mentions “USAR ACUs” and “USAR PT Uniform”. I wasn’t aware that AC/RC/ARNG had different ACUs.
January 11th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
Worst I ever had was a 2LT tell me, in my Arms Room, to issue weapons and accept them at the discretion of the Platoon Sergeants. Oh, and that it wasn’t the soldier’s jobs to clean their weapons, that’s what the Armorer was for.
Unfortunately, I was on a call with the CO (speaker phones are great when you want to work and talk at the same time) and he heard everything the boy-who-would-be-officer said.
Do you know how satisfying it is to be able to sit back and watch a 2LT do your monthly cyclic?
As for Mr. Freedom. I think he needs to see how much Freedom he has when is ass is in the lock-up.
January 11th, 2013 at 12:21 pm
@ #5 Crucible – Ahhh, a fellow AoS moron, I see…
January 11th, 2013 at 12:25 pm
This is part of the JSPP (Joint Services Poser Program), whereby wannabes get the expereince of pulling their shit on another service. Sgt Soupsandwich had his imaginary orders to an Army base, this guy was just filling the Army billet for an AF base.
January 11th, 2013 at 12:34 pm
@24, When I was a PSG I had an LT try to lock me up one time. I just looked at him and say “you do realise that you are a Lieutenant right”.
January 11th, 2013 at 12:45 pm
@ 18 – Yes he did. I really was tactful.
January 11th, 2013 at 12:50 pm
@23 they have different unit patches, that’s about it.
And after looking at his mug shots, who the hell would believe this thug was in the Army? Let alone a Captain?
January 11th, 2013 at 12:55 pm
Wow, this story reminds me all too well of the idiot that showed up to our AT one year claiming to be a 1SG (Ret.). However, every day he was at our training sessions, he was wearing a different colored beret. When he finally marched up to our hot range and called a cease fire because our “range flag was the wrong color,” he was held by security until the county could show up. They opened up his trunk to find the whole badge and rank aisle of the PX in it and that his uniform was just a borrowed one from his very young and naive wife (who was in our BN). He turned out to be a wanted child molester in several states.
It takes all kinds.
January 11th, 2013 at 12:55 pm
Are officers in the Army allowed to have neck tatoos?
January 11th, 2013 at 12:55 pm
@24–considering he’s impersonating an officer and illegally gained access to federal property, he’s looking at some decent time in federal PMITA prison for this, yeah.
Hope it was worth it to him, but I’m guessing not.
January 11th, 2013 at 1:01 pm
@32, did he illegally gain access? Looks to me like the article says he was signed on post by his GF. Which is legal.
January 11th, 2013 at 1:09 pm
I’ll have to look at the statutes but if he had no legitimate purpose it may not matter. If it’s one of those, “Hey baby, sign me on so I can get into the Commissary or BX” that pretty much negates it as well.
In any event, impersonating a commissioned officer is a federal offense, regardless of where it occured.
January 11th, 2013 at 1:17 pm
@31 – According to CSM Chandler, soldiers of any rank shouldn’t get tattoos. They get you killed.
January 11th, 2013 at 1:19 pm
Y’know, looking at that middle pic, I’d say he at one time claimed Muslim-isms. That has the look of ‘I’ve done prison Islam’ all over it.
So he’ll claim harrassment.
January 11th, 2013 at 1:27 pm
This is funny.
Freedom Stansbury. The name is similar to Clark Kent before he becomes Superman.
Waht a turd but the shit is funny.
Making on-the-spot corrections. I love it.
At least he is fucking original.
January 11th, 2013 at 1:41 pm
I love the grey clothing with the “odd” neckline….nothing suspicious about that. Nothing at all.
January 11th, 2013 at 1:59 pm
So, does being arrested mean that he has to change his name? Will he be out in time to attend and provide security for the Obama inauguration?
January 11th, 2013 at 2:01 pm
Nothing screams military like a neck tattoo!
January 11th, 2013 at 2:13 pm
@40 They were allowing people with neck tattoos to join for awhile, not sure if they still do or not.
January 11th, 2013 at 2:21 pm
@41 – yeah, I had a couple of young women with kanji symbols and one with her “boyfriend of the moment” on the back of their necks pass through my unit. I hadn’t seen any guys with noticeable tattoos on their necks, though.
January 11th, 2013 at 2:30 pm
Damn, Army. Get your shit together.
January 11th, 2013 at 3:00 pm
Good one FAT CIRCLES. Like the ARMY let him in the instillation. Its a what Instillation????? I guess anyone can just come in
January 11th, 2013 at 3:02 pm
@#3 ChopIT:
Gee, y’all just don’t get it. “Commishioned Officer” is correct. It’s like this,,,,,
Y’all remember the TV show “The Commish”? Huh, huh? Welllll, the extension of “Commish” would have to be
“Commishioned” Duh? At least that is how that clerk at 96th SF was thinking.
January 11th, 2013 at 3:09 pm
@44: Correction.
Damn, Air Force. Get your shit together.
p.s. You too Army!
January 11th, 2013 at 4:14 pm
I would have loved to see him pull that shit out at Camp Rudder.
January 11th, 2013 at 5:05 pm
Guys, what’s the hate for? The guys name is FREEDOM! what more could we wish from a Commishioned Officer? Can you imagine if CPT Freedom and CPT America teamed up? unstoppable! All they need is to assemble the rest of the team: SGT Airborne, Major Effort and General Purpose.
January 11th, 2013 at 5:22 pm
Lol I’m am sooo glad someone posted this!!! I never saw the dude but its been the talk of the school house. (I am an Eod student) this guy caused a major shit storm. The base has these flyers posted at all the gates and even to get into our offices on main side they have really cracked down on showing a security Id. I’m not going to lie the unit is really dicked up and alot of the leadership is spineless so this isn’t a surprise. Plus there are people coming and going all the time so I see how he got away with it for a month. A couple of my class mates had runs in with him and they say he held himself confidently and, besides the gangster tatts on his neck and nuckles, the way he talked and the way he looked in uniform was convincing. Had he been wearing sgt or LT rank he would have probably gotten away with it much longer. His dumb ass move was talking to our colonel and saying he was a captain and a student. There are no student army captains for one thing and second wouldn’t the battalion commander know all his captains?
January 11th, 2013 at 7:13 pm
Lmfao!! – Just curious? Any word on what happened to the “girlfriend” who signed him in on post? Some interest generated on this end to see her ass in the ringer too.
January 11th, 2013 at 8:28 pm
Idk it’s all mostly rumor and what a few of the psgs have told us. From what I know she was an airman or Afc stationed here and she thought he was a legit cpt too. So they obviously didn’t know each other long. I guess the idea of getting plowed by some army ranger cpt made her believe what ever bs he spun for her but that’s just speculation.
January 11th, 2013 at 8:46 pm
Got it. Thanks. I hope Eglin doesn’t suddenly suffer an influx of Al Qaeda members all of a sudden – what, with the lax security and all.
January 12th, 2013 at 12:30 am
Some AF types jokingly refer to Eglin AFB as “Fort Eglin” or “Eglin Army Air Base”. With the addition of the Army 7th SFG and support personnel moving down from Bragg, some days you see more soldiers than airman when cruising around the base. Sizeable contingent of sailors and Marines as well from EOD school & JSF squadron.
January 12th, 2013 at 11:22 am
Tats are allowed in all ranks as long as they aren’t visible in class A dress. If you can hide ‘em, no prob.
January 12th, 2013 at 11:46 am
As mentioned in other responses, I am amazed the senior NCOs let this horseshit go on. Eglin…please get your security situation squared away.
January 13th, 2013 at 3:24 am
You know this shit is not funny at all……
You all could have been shot dead. Then what. Some more news for a week an that’s all people keep ur eyes open. U live life once an this [deleted] dont look like a joke what ever His intention. Was
(Edited by Hondo to remove racially offensive language.)
January 13th, 2013 at 4:12 am
Eh…..huh?!
January 13th, 2013 at 4:41 am
@56
Okay…:S
January 13th, 2013 at 12:23 pm
@56.
Fuck you.
January 13th, 2013 at 12:27 pm
@56–further proof that some people should not be allowed on the Internet.
January 13th, 2013 at 12:33 pm
I think @56′s point was that this person was inappropriately allowed on the base and might have had bad intentions, other than feeding his useless ego while making the Eglin weenies feel bad about themselves.
January 13th, 2013 at 12:57 pm
I agree, Ex-PH2. But when you start blatantly using racial epithets, people generally quit listening to whatever message you’re sending.
January 13th, 2013 at 1:25 pm
My bad but realty when u c the headlines in the news how whole platoon got shot up. Then comments can come my way. Then
January 13th, 2013 at 1:46 pm
@63, okay, but if you want to post here, please don’t use tweetlit. Space is not an issue, but prejudicial remarks are.
January 13th, 2013 at 1:48 pm
@Hondo, some people still don’t get that point.
January 13th, 2013 at 9:13 pm
All this sounds pretty OPSEC to me, personally…
January 14th, 2013 at 11:20 am
One of the GFs lived on base, he had 2 other women believing his crap! So he’d tell one he was going to work but climbed in bed with a different one.
January 14th, 2013 at 6:34 pm
So they apprehended him, then let him go, now they want him again? Unreal
January 15th, 2013 at 4:24 pm
Should there be serious concerns regarding the security posture at the EOD School? Did this unauthorized individual have access to any training buildings? The report fails to mention how close formations are to bldg 845. This is a classified environment and looks to be grossly unprotected.
January 23rd, 2013 at 12:45 pm
Well, I don’t know where to begin. I live in Clarksville, TN. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Freedom. At the time he was an LT. I seen him in uniform,so there was no reason to doubt his military affilation. He had a ranger patch, airborne, airassault, pt uniforms, 101st patch..the whole nine yards. Yes, he’s very deceitful and confident in his lies. I knew something wasn’t right about dude, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Anyone that encouter him, felt the same way. Now I know. Truthfully, he needs help! I’m sure he suffers from some type of mental illness. Now that he’s in custody.. a pysch evalution is a must. Military impersonation is a common thing on military installations. There are army surplus stores everywhere! Anyone can walk into one and buy whatever the need. I’m glad he’s been stopped!Freedom is dangerous!
January 23rd, 2013 at 5:45 pm
I too have met this man. He pretended so well. I had major suspicion when the 13-17 year old teenagers were saying he was having sexual contact with them. I questioned him of these accusations and he just disappeared.
January 23rd, 2013 at 6:24 pm
Dayum! Right here in my own backyard and I can’t find this dope.
January 26th, 2013 at 7:47 pm
Eglin’s a hop, skip, and a jump away from where I live, I’m keeping my eyes open for this prick, and he’s gonna get his ass stomped if he tries to pull any of his shit on me!!
March 10th, 2013 at 12:13 am
Pussy.
April 7th, 2013 at 10:27 pm
He is now in Tallahassee, FL pretending to be in FSU’s law school and a member of a fraternity. One of the local universities have put out a BOLO regarding him.
April 7th, 2013 at 10:30 pm
Sweet.
Drunken, rich kid, white boy BOLO.
This could be odd.
Call the ACLU!
April 7th, 2013 at 10:41 pm
@75, Hmmm, he went right past my neck of the woods to go infect Tallahassee. I’m gonna alert the troops I know in our unit there as well as elsewhere, he could have his past antics catch up to him sooner than we think!!
April 11th, 2013 at 9:07 am
I haven’t encountered too many Captains with Neck Tattoo’s, and I cant believe he bull shitted so many Senior NCO’s.
April 11th, 2013 at 11:04 am
@48. You forgot CPL Punishment.
April 11th, 2013 at 12:43 pm
As far as appearances I had a Dark Green Captain At MCRD who didn’t have neck tattoos but several others. He was also a Naval Academy graduate, very well spoken and intelligent. If wanted to he could sound ghetto as hell. Last I heard he got out and worked for the DEA. He got called back in for a tour in Iraq, then went back to catching coke dealers.
April 15th, 2013 at 4:38 am
You know, I’ve been corrected by folks on post when they were in PT’s, and they’re always very respectful, even though they’re telling you just how jacked up you are. That seems to be pretty common, I’ve never had an NCO (Army, or Air Force) hem me up in public. No leader that’s worth two shits, will. If this scum guzzling crotch goblin had started yelling at me while I was doing PT, I’d have probably told him to piss off, after getting his name, rank, and unit, and reported it to my chain of command. If he’s a legit captain, I get told not to tell random people to piss off, if he’s phony, he get’s bounced off post. Problem Solved, Problem staying solved.