Someone sent us the wonderous tale of Freedom Douglas Stansbury, who they tell me has been hanging around the gym at Eglin Air Force Base pretending to be an Army Captain at EOD school – they tell me that captains don’t attend the school at Eglin. But, apparently he’s been chewing out NCOs at the gym for doing exercise improperly and for being fatbodies. Apparently, he’s just some New Jersey hoodrat with a lower enlisted girlfriend who signs him into the post. But here’s the poster that Eglin Law Enforcement issued on him;
And their summary of the incident that led to his apprehension;
Here’s some of the stuff he does;
For roughly a month this guy has been seen at our gym and various other places on post. He has been known to give uniform corrections and harass Army personnel. He was posing as a Captain and had the the balls to reprimand 1st Sgts and Platoon Sgts. He even ordered a PSG and his platoon to do corrective PT until he was satisfied.
When questioned about his business on post he gave several different stories to include: he was a student at EOD school (although captains in the Army are not eligible), he was a JAG officer on TDY, and that he is soon to be an incoming commander. Last week he pushed his luck a little too much when he came to our PT formation wearing ACUs with CPT rank, Ranger tab and a 101st unit and deployment patches. He told our 1st Sgt that he was looking for a private who was talking on his cellphone and failed to salute him as he passed. Our 1st Sgt then questioned him as to his unit and battalion commander. The man could not give a straight story and when asked his name the man replied “Cpt Freedom Stansbury” the 1st Sgt said he would take care of the situation and he left.
So, you folks down at Eglin keep your eye for this douche nozzle and give him a throat punch for me.
Mary sends us this mug shot of little Freedom when he was arrested for theft of services in Essex County, NY;
And another when he was arrested for “contempt” in Clarksville, TN