Patrick Gabbard: Phony SEAL fatboy

| January 11, 2013

Hunter sends us a link to Route Clearance who has busted another phony SEAL. I don’t know how this pantload thought anyone would believe him anyway;

Patrick Gabbard

He also claimed to be the Executive Officer of the USS Alabama, but Route Clearance posts the ship’s roster. You know he’s not on it. Of course, Patrick has already threatened to sic the Patriot Act on folks. I figure I can be lawsuit bait, too, since TSO likes these cases so much. Our buddy, Don Shipley, was in on the bust;

I love it when these assholes bring up the National Security thing and CIA covers… Tell that jerkoff to bring me up on charges… Don

I blame easy access to guns and private unregistered sales at gunshows. And violent video games. And an inefficient education system. And Airsoft.

Click over to Route Clearance and read the whole thing.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (64)

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  1. Chip@NASA says:

    Someone ought to beat the snot outta him till he’s cross-eyed. Oh, right. Sorry.

  2. O-4E says:

    Something tells me his favorite meal consist of fish sticks, tater tots, a Hi-C juice box, and a butterscotch pudding snack cup.

  3. Bam Bam says:

    To be fair, thats my fovorite meal too, but more on that later…

    My question is about those fore-mentioned crossed eyes. Does that affect his ability to use a periscope, or does it make it better, like 3D or something…

  4. Chip@NASA says:

    @ O-4E,
    Don’t forget “I like them French fried potaters. mmm hmmmmmmm”

  5. Green Thumb says:

    I would keep my kids away from this guy.

    No what I mean?

    Fucking Ticklemonster.

  6. gi_janearng says:

    @2: I just got kicked out of the unit. My flight status has been withdrawn. I’m through, Dead Meat!

    What happened?

    It’s my eyes. I’ve got walleye-vision.

    Isn’t there something that can be done?

    Well, there’s a delicate corneal inversion procedure… a multi-opti-pupil-optomy. But, in order to keep from damaging the eye sockets, they’ve got to go in through the rectum. Ain’t no man going to take that route with me!

  7. Mike says:

    His eyes, unfortunately look a lot like mine. Mine are surgically offset to keep me from constantly seeing double. My brother has the same condition and it appears that one of my granddaughters also suffers from it. The only draw back is that I have no depth perception. Mine is genetic.

    His is probably from self-abuse and will most likely result in blindness.

  8. O-4E says:

    Biscuits n mustard…mmmm hmmmm

  9. Chip@NASA says:

    Myspace Page….says he’s from Indianapolis.

    (same photo)

  10. Chip@NASA says:

    That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve read in about an hour.
    /angry I didn’t think of that.

  11. FatCircles0311 says:

    He’s a SEAL and an XO?

    High speed low zodiac libo port drag.

  12. BK says:

    In a way, I need these guys, if for no other reason than to see Green Thumb pull out “ticklemonster.”

    It’s too bad these guys are almost never mostly harmless.

  13. Green Thumb says:

    SEAL + XO claim = Extra Loser.

    Math 101, folks.

  14. DetCord says:

    I’m glad this got posted over here. The individual discussed herein has contacted me and threatened to sue me unless I remove the blog post. Of course, I won’t be doing that, ever.

  15. RandomNCO says:

    Indy, huh? He looks like the average Colts fan.

  16. Mustang says:

    @14 That’s par for the course over here. We should keep a running tally of how many posers have come on here threatening to involve their “lawers”.

  17. Andy Kravetz says:

    Errr… how can you sue someone or a blog under the Patriot Act?

  18. Biermann says:

    So he’s Gene Hackman and Charlie Sheen all rolled up into one chunky package?

  19. I took his name to Facebook and found a possibility with one:
    Patrick Gabbard
    Boss at Smoke Session 420
    Studied at Rotary Special School for Mentaly Retarted
    Lives in Crowley, Texas

  20. USMCE8Ret says:

    The XO on the USS ALABAMA? He’s been watching Gene Hackman movies again.

  21. Eric says:

    “I blame easy access to guns and private unregistered sales at gunshows. And violent video games. And an inefficient education system. And Airsoft.”

    In his case, I’d blame McDonalds too…

  22. DetCord says:

    Got this a few minutes ago from the guy that requested the information.

    “Gabbard said the FBI is now involved, said Wednesday they are going to look into our friends at Fort Bragg? Also with all the evidence compiled, And was told that I would be able to present it, they still stonewalled me, and refused to see the evidence. Also, Gabbard asked me to send it to him so he could see it. I refused, stating would rather send to a medium first rather him having my email address. He is also sending the FBI round my place Monday morning sometime.”

    Too funny.

  23. Jorge says:

    “Conn, Sonar, Sierra 36 classified as biologics, close aboard. Probably the mess-decks, Sir”

  24. David says:

    Holy Mother of Christ! This guy looks like he ate a seal!

  25. john Miska says:

    This Blowtard never was never will be….. He is playing cards that are not in his deck….

  26. Ex-PH2 says:

    There are two kinds of seals.

    1 – SEALs – the kind that work for the USNavy

    2 – Other species, such as harbor seals, leopard seals, etc.

    I think even elephant seals would reject this P.O.C.

  27. NHSparky says:

    If he ever hit the surf in Coronado, half the people would try to harpoon him and the other half would keep trying to drag him back in every time he came ashore.

  28. Green Thumb says:

    You folks spend WAY to much time on this….

    See @13.

    Simple Math. And Im a LA (Liberal Arts/ Social Sciences) guy for the most part.

    No shit.

  29. Ex-PH2 says:

    That’s “no shit, Sherlock”, GT.

  30. Green Thumb says:


    Roger that.

  31. MCPO in NH USN (Ret.) says:

    Don’t F*ck with this guy. Any SEAL who has a ZIP CODE for his overdeveloped chin and knows how to use the Pariot Act as a weapon is clearly dangerous.

    Plus he is a NUKE XO of the USS Alerbammer.

    REAL DEAL! BUD/S Class 572 Gold Team BLACK SUB OPS … LOOK IT UP!

  32. Green Thumb says:

    I used to be the XO on the “Good Ship Lollipop” before it sank. To much smoke I think was the issue.

    I hit rock bottom then slid along till I fell in a crack.

    Hence, Infantry enlistment.

    Long, sad story.

    But it worked out in the end.

    Sorta. Kinda. Depends how you look at it.


  33. Gordo says:

    The guy was claiming being in Devgru as well; and fairly high up the totem pole.

  34. NHSparky says:

    Fairly high, anyway, if he expected anyone to believe him.

  35. Hondo says:

    Gordo: mind posting what he’s claiming at DEVGRU? I think a couple of the regulars here at TAH might have a personal contact or two at that unit.

  36. Gordo says:

    “retired Lieutenant Commander – reactivated Captain in the Navy. He claims he was a member of SEAL team 6”

    Can’t have been that many guys in DEVGRU since the unit started at that rank.

  37. DetCord says:


    Gordo was one of the individuals I contacted in an attempt to vet Gabbard. Either way, hats off to Gordo as always for his help in this project, and the one concerning Curtis Lynn (SF/ODA fake).

    His claims were off the wall, however, I don’t have any of those written/typed out. Eric explained Gabbards comments and dialogue in person, and I chose not to record them. In retrospect however, I probably should have.

  38. Hondo says:

    Gordo: OK. I took what you wrote to mean he claimed a specific duty assignment with DEVGRU like he did with the USS Alabama. That might have been possible to check discreetly.

  39. NHSparky says:

    Gordo–I’m thinking you could count the number of O-6’s in DEVGRU (their entire history) on one hand.

  40. Gordo says:

    @Hondo/NHSparky! This guy had claimed to be the CO of ST6 from the late 70s to the early 80s! Considering that unit wasn’t stood up till 1980 and the first commander was D.M… clearly this guy is full of shit! FFS they even list the CO’s of DEVGRU/ST6 from 1980 to 2010 on Wikipedia!

  41. Gordo says:

    Oh and he did this as a LT Commander

  42. Hondo says:

    Geez – that would make him what – 65+ years old today, and probably closer to 70? Even accepting his BS claim of being a LCDR at the time, that’s a rank not generally acquired until 10-12 years of commissioned service. With commissioning at around 22, that works out to early or mid-30s. A newly-promoted guy ain’t really likely to get an assignment like that, either. And since 1979 was now 34 years ago . . .

    This guy is not only a fraud – a village somewhere is missing its idiot, too.

  43. Gordo says:

    @Hondo: Yeah mate! Talked to the guy who told us about this guy and he mentioned the ST6 CO late 70’s to early 80’s and I had to both laugh and tell him to say again about 10 times…

    Basic timeline as I understand it that he’s claiming:

    Late 70’s to early 80’s ST6 CO (so he’s a SEAL with active service in the Vietnam days as well!)
    Got out of the Navy in the early 80’s and then became a US Marshall…

    And then recently got back in as a Captain (went up two ranks after what 25+ years!) and took the USS Alabama out as an XO (oh and the Alabama is a Fast Ballistic Missile Sub!)

    In the last few months he claims he’s done some course and been sent downrange to the Ghan to act as a adviser for Special Operations (so he’s been out of the SOF game for 30 years and he’s the SME they’d use?)

    Damn….this guy is indeed the village idiot (and believe it or not his social group believe him!)

  44. Hondo says:

    SEAL service in combat in Vietnam? That pushes the timeline back a bit.

    Last SEALs were in Vietnam in Mar 1973 (advisors). For combat, he’d have needed to be there probably NLT 1972. Back off 2 years for boot/training/quals, etc . . . , means he entered the service in 1970. Back of 17 years means he was born in 1943.

    That makes him at least 70 years old, and probably older.

    “It’s gettin’ pretty deep in here, amigo.” (smile)

  45. Gordo says:

    @Hondo: He didn’t say he was a Vietnam vet mate; but think about it; if you were going to put in a CO of say ST6 (and it actually started earlier then 1980) are you going to put in an officer without any combat experience over say an officer with active duty work in the Vietnam war!

  46. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    I know why you can’t find his name on any service rosters–and you should too! His work was highly secretive and he never used his real name. In fact, he was forbidden from using it. Why do you think the Secret Squirrel wears a mask? Batman? Superman? Green Hornet? And although Patrick (a/k/a Vat of Lard) does not wear a mask, the secretiveness of his work required the same level of anonymity. Jeez. One would think you guys would know by now.

  47. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Gaaaaaaaad Damit. Strike Superman. He didn’t wear a mask.

  48. Green Thumb says:

    Extra dirtbag.

  49. ObamaGirl says:

    I have seen pics of most of the posters on this site and it kind of hypocritical of you to be insulting this mans weight when most of you are fat and out of shape ie Lilyea,NHSparky, Old Trooper just to name a few.. Glass houses people.

  50. Gordo says:

    @ObamaGirl: Pretty sure none of those guys claim to have been ST6 Commanding Officers.

    @Hondo: This was an interesting case in Australia where a Naval Officer was found to be telling some very tall stories