That and a quarter gets you a 25 cent cup of coffee …
January 17th, 2013
Our buddy, Rurik sent us this photo of some North Korean generals decked out in their finery. We thought MSG Soup Sandwich was over-decorated, but these guys prove that he’s just an amateur.
As Rurik points out, they have been at war for the last sixty years or so, it stand to reason that they’d be loaded down, but their DD214s must be as long as a Clancy novel. But, you know you have too many medals when you have to wear them on your pants.
I’ll be on the road today so posting might be spotty at best. So have fun.
January 17th, 2013 at 7:08 am
DAYUMN!!
Ya don’t see that much bling at a Hollywierd self-awards program.
I wonder if they have to go thru a metal detector gate at the airport??
January 17th, 2013 at 7:12 am
Airport? North Korea? (smile)
January 17th, 2013 at 7:14 am
…That needs to be the new background pic for the SVT…
Mike
January 17th, 2013 at 7:19 am
@3: probably not, but it might be a good secondary image. It’s called the “Ballduster McSoulpatch Memorial Stolen Valor Tournament” and uses the photo it does for a reason. (smile)
January 17th, 2013 at 7:54 am
FANCY!!!
January 17th, 2013 at 8:33 am
And I got this one for typing, and I got this one for collating…
January 17th, 2013 at 8:44 am
I swear I’ve seen these guys at last years local Memorial Day parade.
January 17th, 2013 at 9:05 am
Is the guy, third from the right, wearing one right in front of his crotch?
January 17th, 2013 at 9:08 am
Unfortunately that photo has been photoshopped, I found the same picture on google without the medals on the pants and sleeves.
January 17th, 2013 at 9:09 am
What people in the stolen valor tournament should strive for.
January 17th, 2013 at 9:15 am
@9. The reality isn’t much better and was no doubt inspired by a photo of Kim Jong-un accompanied by a few generals whose jackets were heavily adorned with some serious funky medals.
I wonder if any of the guys in the real or fake pic were among the 14 or so executed last October. Reportedly, some were executed for drinking during the mourning period for Fearless Leader and others for sex scandals.
January 17th, 2013 at 9:16 am
Laundry day must be a real bitch.
January 17th, 2013 at 9:56 am
I was always a fan of wearing the high three…
January 17th, 2013 at 9:58 am
Funny story, those actually aren’t medals. They’re supplemental body armor. The higher rank a Nork gets, the more armor they give him. The armor on the pants is to protect their Schwanschtuckas.
January 17th, 2013 at 9:59 am
Ok here is the Real and not photoshopped version:
http://lh5.ggpht.com/-Ftb3Nb5k8OM/Tu_RjV5ctII/AAAAAAAAA7w/0fPu6-P95n0/North%252520Korea%252520Generals_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800
Even without photoshop is it still funny as heck
January 17th, 2013 at 10:18 am
Those look more like the buttons that are (or used to be) passed around at political conventions. “I like Ike” and other such things, you may recall. Maybe these guys are just the top end of the collector’s group in North Korea, and as such they get to wear a uniform?
George V.
January 17th, 2013 at 10:20 am
Jebus, looks like a suit of armor. That has to weigh a ton!
January 17th, 2013 at 10:22 am
@15 JA
Looks like they only photoshoped a couple more in the end product!
January 17th, 2013 at 10:29 am
@17 – What if they’re all made of plastic?
January 17th, 2013 at 10:31 am
George V: North Korea was a Soviet satellite state for decades. Many of the old Soviet Military and Political Decorations (e.g., typically those called “Orders”) were of the “pin-on shield” type vice a medal on a ribbon – similar to the Joint Staff or Army Staff badges. I’m guessing that’s what many of these are, NK-style.
http://soviet-awards.com/index.htm
January 17th, 2013 at 11:29 am
Where I come from, we refer to excessive martial-themed bling as being like a Mexican General. After seeing this, I think that expression may need to be re-evaluated.
January 17th, 2013 at 11:33 am
No matter, it is still funnier than shit and I could definitely use a decent laugh once in a while.
January 17th, 2013 at 11:56 am
Where to start,
My Christmas tree didn’t have as much bling as one of those generals.
It’s really a flak jacket
The third guy down from the right didn’t sell enough cookies…
It’s not North Korea, it’s flavor flave’s body guards…
Each general Has a secret desire to be a NYC doorman
And everybody here today will get a medal for being able to stand up under the weight of all the medals
January 17th, 2013 at 12:10 pm
I think those guys get sprayed with adhesive and then roll around in a vat of medals to get parade ready.
January 17th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
I need to talk about your flair.
Really? I have 15 buttons on. I, uh…
Well, ok, 15 is minimum, ok?
Ok.
Now, it’s up to you whether or not you want to just do the bare minimum. Well, like Brian, for example, has 37 pieces of flair. And a terrific smile.
Ok. Ok, you want me to wear more?
January 17th, 2013 at 12:34 pm
You know the Nazis had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear.
January 17th, 2013 at 12:53 pm
They look like a bunch of JROTC Cadets.
January 17th, 2013 at 12:58 pm
When a North Korean General makes about $400.00 USD a month…you have to hand out something to keep them motivated
January 17th, 2013 at 1:47 pm
All this brings to mind a picture I saw many years ago of an ARVN soldier with multiple awards of the Cross of Gallantry. I can’t recall how many awards he had but the suspension ribbon looked to be about 8 or 9 inches long to accommodate the palms. I wonder what the Air Medal would have looked like if numerals hadn’t eventually replaced oak leaf clusters.
January 17th, 2013 at 1:56 pm
Not one of these “Generals” has ever fired a shot in anger, unless it was into the neck of some N.Korean private.
January 17th, 2013 at 2:09 pm
CC Senior: I’m guessing we’d have ended up with Gold OLCs, each worth 5 Silver, plus multiple ribbons as needed had the decision not been made to use numerals. (Multiple ribbons are authorized today with the ARCOM and BSM if needed and a V-device is present.) There is already precedent for use of gold attachments for medals and ribbons – see the AGCM (gold clasp for 11th thru 15th award) and the hourglass device for the AFRM (gold hourglass for 30 years qualifying reserve service).
A hypothetical gold OLC (25 awards) plus a second ribbon could show up to 99 awards barring one having a V-device (GGGSS)(SSBBB). You would need a 3rd ribbon for some cases above 99 or if the V-device was present.
I’m guessing the cases requiring the 3rd ribbon is what caused them to go to numerals vice create a gold OLC. Plus, not too many people like counting by 25s and 5s. (smile)
January 17th, 2013 at 2:34 pm
@31 Thanks. As Johnny Carson used to say, “I did not know that”.
January 17th, 2013 at 2:36 pm
Geeze, these clowns could be in the Air Force! When grand nephew graduated, there was a recruit in another platoon with FOUR (4), cuatro, vier ribbons!?! He’d been in the Air Force two months and hadn’t gone anywhere or done anything!!!
January 17th, 2013 at 3:49 pm
A British officer I used to know said that Soviet generals coming to attention sounded like someone kicking a garbage can full of rocks. These guys must sound like a cement mixer hauling ball-bearings.
January 17th, 2013 at 4:01 pm
It would appear their uniform allowance could feed villages.
January 17th, 2013 at 4:02 pm
Talk about a disaster waiting to happen. Can you imagine someone wheeling an industrial magnet anywhere near those guys?
January 17th, 2013 at 4:27 pm
@36 do you suppose pot metal is magnetic?
January 17th, 2013 at 4:40 pm
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2967/339/400/OSflaircralt.jpg
January 17th, 2013 at 6:17 pm
But can they trade some in for some rice?
January 17th, 2013 at 7:46 pm
Geez you could fry an egg on the bastards !
I wonder which medal signifies being a comfort boy for the “Dear Leader ” above and beyond the call of duty ?
January 17th, 2013 at 7:57 pm
Fer Crixus sake’s have some respect!
Those are Chinese assault fire drill badges, each disk represents five assaults.
Before you laugh ask your self about all those Chinese traffic accident videos.
Yup, Assault fire drills.
January 17th, 2013 at 8:52 pm
As the medals show, these Generals are highly dangerous men.
Remember your psych warfare training. Or, heck, what you learned on the playground in elementary school. People who overcompensate for inferiority complexes by awarding themselves badges, ranks, and war records they aren’t actually qualified for tend to react violently when their manhood is questioned.
Perhaps it would be best if we just bought them off. What’s a few pot metal hero badges gonna cost?
January 17th, 2013 at 9:01 pm
Attention on deck!!!!
Shoveldriver @42 has just now clearly defined Stolen Valor Hogs and Secret Squirrels.
January 18th, 2013 at 11:46 am
@40 paladin–”comfort boy” snort!!! do you have any idea how hard it is to clean up the coffee you just made me eject through my nose? that’s a classic! hat’s off to you!