That and a quarter gets you a 25 cent cup of coffee …

| January 17, 2013 | 44 Comments

Our buddy, Rurik sent us this photo of some North Korean generals decked out in their finery. We thought MSG Soup Sandwich was over-decorated, but these guys prove that he’s just an amateur.

North Korean Generals

As Rurik points out, they have been at war for the last sixty years or so, it stand to reason that they’d be loaded down, but their DD214s must be as long as a Clancy novel. But, you know you have too many medals when you have to wear them on your pants.

I’ll be on the road today so posting might be spotty at best. So have fun.

Category: Who knows

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  1. B Woodman says:

    DAYUMN!!
    Ya don’t see that much bling at a Hollywierd self-awards program.
    I wonder if they have to go thru a metal detector gate at the airport??

  2. Hondo says:

    Airport? North Korea? (smile)

  3. Mike Kozlowski says:

    …That needs to be the new background pic for the SVT…

    Mike

  4. Hondo says:

    @3: probably not, but it might be a good secondary image. It’s called the “Ballduster McSoulpatch Memorial Stolen Valor Tournament” and uses the photo it does for a reason. (smile)

  5. Tom6400 says:

    FANCY!!!

  6. NHSparky says:

    And I got this one for typing, and I got this one for collating…

  7. LIRight says:

    I swear I’ve seen these guys at last years local Memorial Day parade. :)

  8. A65l says:

    Is the guy, third from the right, wearing one right in front of his crotch?

  9. Cpl. White says:

    Unfortunately that photo has been photoshopped, I found the same picture on google without the medals on the pants and sleeves.

  10. John says:

    What people in the stolen valor tournament should strive for.

  11. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    @9. The reality isn’t much better and was no doubt inspired by a photo of Kim Jong-un accompanied by a few generals whose jackets were heavily adorned with some serious funky medals.

    I wonder if any of the guys in the real or fake pic were among the 14 or so executed last October. Reportedly, some were executed for drinking during the mourning period for Fearless Leader and others for sex scandals.

  12. Paul says:

    Laundry day must be a real bitch.

  13. Reaperman says:

    I was always a fan of wearing the high three…

  14. MikeD says:

    Funny story, those actually aren’t medals. They’re supplemental body armor. The higher rank a Nork gets, the more armor they give him. The armor on the pants is to protect their Schwanschtuckas.

  15. JA says:

    Ok here is the Real and not photoshopped version:
    http://lh5.ggpht.com/-Ftb3Nb5k8OM/Tu_RjV5ctII/AAAAAAAAA7w/0fPu6-P95n0/North%252520Korea%252520Generals_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800

    Even without photoshop is it still funny as heck

  16. George V says:

    Those look more like the buttons that are (or used to be) passed around at political conventions. “I like Ike” and other such things, you may recall. Maybe these guys are just the top end of the collector’s group in North Korea, and as such they get to wear a uniform?

    George V.

  17. Old Tanker says:

    Jebus, looks like a suit of armor. That has to weigh a ton!

  18. Old Tanker says:

    @15 JA

    Looks like they only photoshoped a couple more in the end product!

  19. Ex-PH2 says:

    @17 – What if they’re all made of plastic?

  20. Hondo says:

    George V: North Korea was a Soviet satellite state for decades. Many of the old Soviet Military and Political Decorations (e.g., typically those called “Orders”) were of the “pin-on shield” type vice a medal on a ribbon – similar to the Joint Staff or Army Staff badges. I’m guessing that’s what many of these are, NK-style.

    http://soviet-awards.com/index.htm

  21. The Other Whitey says:

    Where I come from, we refer to excessive martial-themed bling as being like a Mexican General. After seeing this, I think that expression may need to be re-evaluated.

  22. streetsweeper says:

    No matter, it is still funnier than shit and I could definitely use a decent laugh once in a while.

  23. Enigma4you says:

    Where to start,
    My Christmas tree didn’t have as much bling as one of those generals.
    It’s really a flak jacket
    The third guy down from the right didn’t sell enough cookies…
    It’s not North Korea, it’s flavor flave’s body guards…
    Each general Has a secret desire to be a NYC doorman
    And everybody here today will get a medal for being able to stand up under the weight of all the medals

  24. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    I think those guys get sprayed with adhesive and then roll around in a vat of medals to get parade ready.

  25. Flagwaver says:

    I need to talk about your flair.

    Really? I have 15 buttons on. I, uh…

    Well, ok, 15 is minimum, ok?

    Ok.

    Now, it’s up to you whether or not you want to just do the bare minimum. Well, like Brian, for example, has 37 pieces of flair. And a terrific smile.

    Ok. Ok, you want me to wear more?

  26. NHSparky says:

    You know the Nazis had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear.

  27. Green Thumb says:

    They look like a bunch of JROTC Cadets.

  28. O-4E says:

    When a North Korean General makes about $400.00 USD a month…you have to hand out something to keep them motivated

  29. CC Senor says:

    All this brings to mind a picture I saw many years ago of an ARVN soldier with multiple awards of the Cross of Gallantry. I can’t recall how many awards he had but the suspension ribbon looked to be about 8 or 9 inches long to accommodate the palms. I wonder what the Air Medal would have looked like if numerals hadn’t eventually replaced oak leaf clusters.

  30. Roger in Republic says:

    Not one of these “Generals” has ever fired a shot in anger, unless it was into the neck of some N.Korean private.

  31. Hondo says:

    CC Senior: I’m guessing we’d have ended up with Gold OLCs, each worth 5 Silver, plus multiple ribbons as needed had the decision not been made to use numerals. (Multiple ribbons are authorized today with the ARCOM and BSM if needed and a V-device is present.) There is already precedent for use of gold attachments for medals and ribbons – see the AGCM (gold clasp for 11th thru 15th award) and the hourglass device for the AFRM (gold hourglass for 30 years qualifying reserve service).

    A hypothetical gold OLC (25 awards) plus a second ribbon could show up to 99 awards barring one having a V-device (GGGSS)(SSBBB). You would need a 3rd ribbon for some cases above 99 or if the V-device was present.

    I’m guessing the cases requiring the 3rd ribbon is what caused them to go to numerals vice create a gold OLC. Plus, not too many people like counting by 25s and 5s. (smile)

  32. CC Senor says:

    @31 Thanks. As Johnny Carson used to say, “I did not know that”.

  33. Yat Yas 1833 says:

    Geeze, these clowns could be in the Air Force! When grand nephew graduated, there was a recruit in another platoon with FOUR (4), cuatro, vier ribbons!?! He’d been in the Air Force two months and hadn’t gone anywhere or done anything!!!

  34. LittleRed1 says:

    A British officer I used to know said that Soviet generals coming to attention sounded like someone kicking a garbage can full of rocks. These guys must sound like a cement mixer hauling ball-bearings.

  35. FatCircles0311 says:

    It would appear their uniform allowance could feed villages.

  36. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Talk about a disaster waiting to happen. Can you imagine someone wheeling an industrial magnet anywhere near those guys?

  37. ron says:

    @36 do you suppose pot metal is magnetic?

  38. RandomNCO says:

    But can they trade some in for some rice?

  39. PALADIN says:

    Geez you could fry an egg on the bastards !

    I wonder which medal signifies being a comfort boy for the “Dear Leader ” above and beyond the call of duty ?

  40. obsidian says:

    Fer Crixus sake’s have some respect!
    Those are Chinese assault fire drill badges, each disk represents five assaults.
    Before you laugh ask your self about all those Chinese traffic accident videos.
    Yup, Assault fire drills.

  41. shovelDriver says:

    As the medals show, these Generals are highly dangerous men.

    Remember your psych warfare training. Or, heck, what you learned on the playground in elementary school. People who overcompensate for inferiority complexes by awarding themselves badges, ranks, and war records they aren’t actually qualified for tend to react violently when their manhood is questioned.

    Perhaps it would be best if we just bought them off. What’s a few pot metal hero badges gonna cost?

  42. Ex-PH2 says:

    Attention on deck!!!!

    Shoveldriver @42 has just now clearly defined Stolen Valor Hogs and Secret Squirrels.

  43. ron says:

    @40 paladin–”comfort boy” snort!!! do you have any idea how hard it is to clean up the coffee you just made me eject through my nose? that’s a classic! hat’s off to you!

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