Totally legit

January 22nd, 2013

Someone sent us this from the Facebook group Fort McClellan Grads. I have no idea why they think this guy is a phony.

comments

76 Responses to “Totally legit”

1
Old Tanker Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 8:46 am
Holy cat shit……we have a winner for the next Ballduster McSoulpatch Stolen Valor Tournament. No need for the contest, he wins, hands down!
2
AW1 Tim Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 8:50 am
There is a special kind of stupid on display here.
3
ROS Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 8:52 am
Oh. My. God. I am so begging CV to let me do the tourney again this year. He’s the second coming of Sharkey!
4
Hondo Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 8:52 am
AW1 Tim: but it’s “First Class” special stupidity. (smile)
5
NHSparky Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 8:56 am
Great. Now I gotta call IT and get a new keyboard and monitor.

I haven’t seen a fake that bad since Larry the Cable guy was in Delta Farce.
6
Ex-PH2 Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 8:57 am
Oh, dear Lawd!

What in the blue-eyed world is it? And this early in the morning,too.
7
Old Tanker Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:03 am
ROS, I’m with you…I hope I get to help again!!
8
Ne Desit Virtus Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:05 am
Whoa! A Major First Class!!?? I thought Emperor Palpatine did away with that rank after the first Death Star was destroyed
9
Badger Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:08 am
LOL! I can’t even look at this without laughing! “Major First Class”!!! As we say in the South: “Bless his heart!”
10
Veritas Omnia Vincit Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:15 am
He’s a major jerkoff of the first class certainly….I like the ear ring and double chin, nice effects potato boy!
11
ROS Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:17 am
I thought it said “Major Fat Ass”.

And it is so on, OT.
12
Claymore Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:18 am
They’re not even trying anymore…
13
Whitey_Wingnut Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:29 am
Hahahahaha, I seriously fell out of my chair from seeing that picture. How would anybody take that individual seriously?
14
Ex-PH2 Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:39 am
All I can see is that raisin next to his nose.

It IS a raisin, right?
15
Chip@NASA Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:42 am
” That’s a new directive from the Pentagon. That’s right out of G2 and G3 making a G5 Combined Officers Op-Tech Glitch. We’re experimenting with a new rank: Major First Class. We’re down here taking a survey, to see, uh, you know, if everybody likes it, uh, asking everybody in Seoul. ”
16
Chris Maple Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:45 am
Wow, I thought the Marine Corps did away with that emblem a long time ago when Many Devil Dogs complained when they wanted Dept of Navy off the EGA.
17
Twist Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:56 am
I wonder if his first pickup line at the bar is-

“I always get the shakes before a drop.”
18
NHSparky Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:59 am
I didn’t know that the Marines were hiring Starbucks baristas.
19
JP Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:19 am
Counter-dieting team, maybe.
20
Redacted1775 Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:21 am
The pic on that “ID” needs a caption: “It’s ok sir, I’m from the internet!”…fat bastard.
21
Old Trooper Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:27 am
@15: They didn’t like Captain Corporal (well, at least the Colonel didn’t like it, not one bit), but I guess they approved Major First Class, though?
22
Reaperman Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:33 am
Is Major First Class a rank in some video game?
23
OldSoldier54 Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:36 am
What can I say?
24
Curt Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:39 am
What the actual fuck?!? (I’ve been waiting all week to use that!)
Friggin boots know better! Can’t they do a simple web search to at least phony up a real rank? Unbelievable…
25
FMR PAO Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:42 am
Major First Class. Totally legit.
26
ROS Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:42 am
Isn’t there a Drum Major First Class?
27
MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:45 am
Go ahead a laugh. Someday … you will see. This guy IS THE REAL DEAL.

Look at his ID card. It is as convincing as … well … ah …

Oh and one other thing … this guy is so dangerous … his left earing ring is actually a safety pin.

Rip his ear ring off and his ear will drop to the floor like a striker lever and 3 seconds later his head will explode killing all terrorists within 50 feet.

LOOK IT UP!
28
Enigma4you Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:46 am
@21 you beat me to it…

I bet this fat fuck has a PTSD claim from playing world of Warcraft
29
MAJMike Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:46 am
Wowzers!! Major First Class!! Guess he out-ranks me!!!
30
Bam Bam Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:48 am
Does he have an ear ring in!? You’d think a Major First Class, particularly one assigned to a Hero Squad like the Marine Counter Terrorist outfit would know better about jewelry… It could get caught on something while exiting the super stealth Blackhawks.
31
Devtun Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:56 am
The British Army had a rank or position called Staff Sergeant Major First Class in the late 1800s/early 1900s.

The US Navy had the shortlived one star rank Commodore Admiral in 1982 (changed to Rear ADM Lower Half).
32
Andy Kravetz Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 11:14 am
Personally, I dig the shades. Nothing says ID card than face concealing sunglasses.
33
Green Thumb Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 11:30 am
This individual is to weak to even make a comment.
34
USMCE8Ret Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 11:31 am
“What is your major malfunction, numb-nuts?” (Knife hand)
35
Old Tanker Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 11:32 am
@30 BamBam

I swear that looks like a nose ring in his buggar hole too….
36
Hondo Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 11:40 am
Devtun: the US Navy also had Commodore as a 1-star rank during World War II. However, by 1947 all had either been promoted to RADM or had left the service.

Another point of trivia: the term “Major General” derived from an older term for the same rank (one rank lower than Lieutenant General): “Sergeant Major General”. Over time and with the adoption of the position “Sergeant Major” in units not commanded by GOs, the term “Sergeant” was dropped from the GO rank title. This led to the apparent logical rank inversion in GO ranks – a Major outranks a Lieutenant, but a Major General is outranked by a Lieutenant General.
37
Bam Bam Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 11:45 am
Agreed. This guy is a walking FOD dropper. …But damn can he kill terrorists!
38
FatCircles0311 Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 11:57 am
Fats McTits here probably fell out soon after having to stand getting this picture taken. Those are the new marsoc earings which reduce drag making for higher speed low drag operators able to deploy from the stratosphere.
39
NHSparky Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 12:22 pm
All we need now is a few pictures of his fat hogtied girlfriend and him coming in here threatening us with a “lawer” and the 2013 version of Gunny Driveway will be off and running!
40
Ex-PH2 Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 12:24 pm
People, after all that DADT stuff, do you NOT know when someone is trying desperately to OUT himself?
41
KnightsWhoSayNi Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 12:27 pm
Major First Class ranks just under Lance Admiral in the exclusive Secret Squirrel division of the Marine Corps.
42
CC Senor Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 12:33 pm
To paraphrase Omar Bradley regarding sergeants, the Army doesn’t have second class majors.
43
Twist Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 12:54 pm
This guy looks like he sweats gravy.
44
Mitch Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 12:56 pm
I feel like I’ve seen this before. It might have been used in one of the scams that they talk about where people, usually in another country, pose as servicemen to defraud citizens
45
Instinct Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 1:00 pm
Now maybe I’m slow because I’m a squid and all, but when did the Marines start wearing black undershirts with bacon collars? Also, WTF is up with his cover??? Did he jam that thing all the way down on his fat blob of a head?
46
NHSparky Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 1:09 pm
Dude’s cholesterol is probably so high he doesn’t have a heart, he has a concrete pump.
47
Veritas Omnia Vincit Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 1:24 pm
@45 The bacon collar is reflective of his obvious love of pork, anything fried in fat and this dude is all over it…probably hasn’t missed a meal in….well, ever.
48
MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 1:28 pm
You guys are out of touch with the latest SPEC OP equipment.

Those are not sunglasses, they are:

Special Light Observation Bifocals (SLOBs).

LOOK IT UP!
49
Flagwaver Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 2:44 pm
I don’t even have words for this… Actually I do, but they would get me put on a watch list of some kind if I say them. Then again, I probably already am.

I would love to see all these posers attempt the Special Forces Q Course. Make it a video. Sell tickets and give the proceeds to Wounded Warriors or something.
50
CWO5USMC Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 2:46 pm
Wow….just….wow.

I laughed, I cried,….and then I laughed some more.

I feel like this ID is like one of those “find what wrong with this picture” things….if you find all 15 of them, you get a prize…

LOL
51
Twist Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 2:49 pm
@49, They could name the show “The Real World Delta Farce on Jersey Shores”.
52
MAJMike Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 2:50 pm
Jeebus!!! This is why I only use the terminal rank from my less than stellar military career in a InterTubes screen name. Most of my career was spent preparing for the Great Fulda Gap Live-Fire Exercise that was cancelled in 1989.

I really don’t want any real heroes linking me with one of these asshats.
53
kp32 Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 3:04 pm
I like the ‘Honey West’ fake mole on his cheek, it works well with the earrings.
54
Green Thumb Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 3:17 pm
The runner up of the tourney this year should get a date with that Marine (no offense, USMC) “thing” that was posted last week.
55
2/17 Air Cav Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 3:20 pm
@53. Honey West! Man, that brings back memories. [Insert the Bob Hope growl here]
56
2/17 Air Cav Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 4:29 pm
Somewhere a horse is wondering what became of his ass.
57
MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 4:57 pm
Not a HORSE and yes it is a NOSE RING.

I found a video on the AlGore.net of this POS getting his nose ring!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9FJjvorhts
58
martinjmpr Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 5:09 pm
I thought the Major 1st Class insignia had a rocker underneath it?
59
kp32 Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 5:17 pm
@58- You’re thinking of Sergeant Major.
60
Hondo Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 5:36 pm
This dipstick better be wearing a fake mole. Otherwise, he needs to see a dermatologist pronto.
61
Ex-PH2 Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 5:58 pm
That’s a Honey West mole? I thought it was a raisin. I really did.
62
Adirondack Patriot Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 6:03 pm
Major First Class?

Oh, that’s what an MFer is!
63
scalpel shepherd Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 6:06 pm
Fucking retard can’t even get his made up rank correct. I apologize to true retards, because even they are no where near as retarded as this dipshit.
64
B Woodman Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 8:51 pm
Sorry I came late in the day to this one.
‘Bout fell out of my chair laughing out loud.
Major First Class . . . First Class idiot.
He may not be a winner in the BallDuster McSoulPatch tourney, but you just KNOW he’s going to be right up there in the finals.

Anyone know this asstard’s real name and addy, so that a REAL man can go and have a little heart-to-heart (wall-to-wall) counseling with this whatever it is??
65
B Woodman Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 8:54 pm
PS – MajMike,
Does that mean you were with the 2ACR? Just curious.
I was with the 614th Maint/2nd SupCom in Nurnberg (Merrill Barracks) late 70′s-early 80′s.
66
B Woodman Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 8:58 pm
Last name: Burrrrrt
The sound his ass makes when he farts.
67
malclave Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:40 pm
So what’s the plural form of that rank? Majors First Class or Major First Classes?
68
Green Thumb Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 9:51 pm
Dudet looks 17 at best.
69
RandomNCO Says:
January 22nd, 2013 at 10:24 pm
I thought that mark above his lip was something on my screen, I tried for about two minutes to scratch it off.
70
A_Proud_Infidel Says:
January 26th, 2013 at 10:47 pm
Gotta clean an assload of coffee off of my desk and keyboard again!
71
10th MTN NCO Says:
January 29th, 2013 at 7:15 am
@8- You’re cleaning my couch cushions. I spit coffee all over the damn place. Good one!
72
Terminal_leave_NCO Says:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:12 pm
Wow…and I thought there were not enough first class numbskulls running around in this world..and BAM!! Here’s another.

Might be one time when taking out an “officer” might be justified.
73
Miss Em Says:
April 10th, 2013 at 5:52 pm
Have been following for awhile but haven’t felt I should say anything but this is one that just has to be commented about after I cleaned off the tablet.
1) Where did the Emblem on the ID Card come from because I’m 62 and can’t remember when the reference to the Navy was removed from the Marine Emblem on their ID Card. Also, is the Marine Emblem suppose to be sort of oblong.? I always have seen it Round.
2) The shirt looks as if it has been button wrong…one side higher than the other. My First-Cousin learned in boot with a Drill Instructor screaming in one ear how to dress properly in a uniform.
3) When was the last time that “blouse” saw or felt a hot steam iron. That First-Cousin loomed over me when I offered to press his trousers before we went to the movies. (He was 19 and I was 15.) His instructions were as if both his Drill Instructors would come busting through the door at any moment….. memories…. smile
4) Looks as if there is something in the right ear lobe…check it out
OI

@45…The head cover looks like a hunting (as in deer hunting) watch cap because I don’t see a brim over his glasses.
74
This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here » Blog Archive » Winter is coming….(And by Winter I mean the 2013 Stolen Valor Tournament.) Says:
May 20th, 2013 at 12:27 pm
[...] Jeff Burt; Major First Class [...]
75
El Marco Says:
May 20th, 2013 at 2:30 pm
I like the earrings best.
76
This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here » Blog Archive » 2013 Stolen Valor Tournament West Regional Bios Says:
June 4th, 2013 at 2:38 pm
[...] 16) Jeff “Holy Moley” Burtt [...]