Cracked: 6 Military Fakes You Won’t Believe Fooled the World

| January 27, 2013

Tman sends us a link to Cracked magazine’ latest article on Military phonies. They came to us a few months ago and asked for some of our favorites, but apparently, they didn’t use any of them. Their list is pretty funny, too, and it includes one that we did a few years back, William “Billy” James Clark, the heavy drop serial phony.

They also included Bill Hillar, the guy who had been telling his students that he was the model for the Liam Neeson character in “Taken”. Some of their examples go back to the early 1900s so Stolen Valor has been around awhile. But in the more recent category, they profiled David Deng the guy who fooled a bunch of immigrants into joining his private Army.

I’ll bet Hillar and Deng wish that folks are as gullible as even the president of the US was in the old timey days. But you should read the Cracked article. One I sent them was Corey Glass who deserted to Canada while he wasn’t really a deserter. I also sent them the links to the Jake Diliberto tale – the grand champion of our Stolen Valor Tournament last year.

You can probably list some of your own favorites in the comments.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (16)

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  1. Ex-PH2 says:

    I just have one question, in re: the HV drop guy, Clark: is that his butt hanging OUT of his pants in that picture?

  2. MrKMP says:

    Is it just me, or is the Marine standing next to Hillar looking a little suspicious himself (medals/ribbons on wrong breasts)?

  3. RandomNCO says:

    I’m guessing the picture is just flipped for some reason.

  4. MrKMP says:

    I thought so too. But the trim and buttons are positioned correctly.

  5. MrKMP says:

    … and here’s the same cat (Mark Watros, photo slide #3) wearing the same stack of ribbon on a PVT/E1 set of “Charlies”:

  6. TopGoz says:

    @2: That person wearing the Marine dress blues has to be another phony, and no, the picture is not reversed. Note the buckle has the Marine Corps emblem properly oriented. A SSgt of Marines would know that you DO NOT wear a shooting badge with medals. As a SSgt in a deployed unit, he should have qualified with the pistol as well; so if he’s wearing one badge incorrectly, he should be wearing both. The medals are on the wrong side, his right collar emblem is upside-down, and judging by the one hash mark and no stars on the good conduct, he’d be a SSgt with more than four but less than six years of active service; not impossible, but not very likely either.
    And if he is a real Marine, he’s one seriously screwed up SSgt.

  7. The Dead Man says:

    Huh I missed this one, they tend to put out some pretty decent articles from time to time. Almost thought this one was the last one. Their history and military section can suck hours away if you’re prone to wandering links like I am…

  8. FatCircles0311 says:

    As a SSgt in a deployed unit, he should have qualified with the pistol as well;

    uh, I’ve seen plenty a SNCO’s without a pistol badge because they never qualified. That doesn’t stop them from standing regimental duty armed with a pistol either. Most line company Marines never see the pistol range at all even if they are issued a M9 pistol from the armory. There was no requirement regarding SSGT’s to be pistol qualified in order to be deployed while I was in. 2005.

  9. DaveO says:

    I served with the the Army officer, Andrew Clements, who was killed in the bridge collapse. Brings to mind the questions back then about how that POS Clark was in proximity to the disaster, and honed in on Clements’s property.

  10. GMDoll says:

    An upside down EGA.. holy hell.

  11. TopGoz says:

    @8: All SNCOs are required to qualify with the pistol. SSgts also are required to qualify with the M-16. The Marine Corps has placed great emphasis on preparation for deployment; prior to deploying to Afghanistan in 2008 I had a lengthy checklist that I had to complete and that checklist included completing weapons qualification with my T/O weapon. I will concede that his T/O weapon may be an M-4.
    None of which changes the jacked-uppedness of his uniform.

  12. Old Tanker says:

    Vlad the Cock Inhaler!!!

  13. USMCE8Ret says:

    Flipped photo my ass:

    The SSgt in the photo is a poser, too. No fucking way in hell can you tell me a SNCO of Marines doesn’t know how to wear the dress blue uniform correctly. Medals ARE on the wrong side, and a rifle expert badge underneath ribbons on Dress Blue “A” uniform. I DON’T FUCKING THINK SO!

  14. Mustang says:

    There is a SSgt Mark Watros listed in MOL in the Reserves. If this is him then he’s a seriously dicked up SSgt.

  15. USMCE8Ret says:

    @14 – Yeah, I checked too… before my last post. He was released from the IRR during October of last year.

    He is a fucked up SSgt.

  16. The Chief says:

    Chances are, he did not earn Purple Heart or some of the other candy on his chest.