O’Neil was chosen for combat command after distinguishing herself by replacing PT with Zumba classes, outfitting her Marines with different uniforms so no one could argue who wore theirs better, and replacing MRE’s with salads and pints of yogurt.
O’Neil organized a long distance recon, during which she made her Executive Officer, Major Brad Gramble, carry her rucksack and open jars. Unconfirmed sources say she also refused to wear camouflage face paint, claiming it didn’t match her eyes.
“She also said her feet were hurting,” said Gramble, “so she commandeered a Humvee but ended up driving it into a ditch.” She screamed in frustration, prompting her Marines to mutter, “must be that time of the month.”
But you should read the whole thing. Remembering that it’s satire.