Dating advice and phony SEAL busting
February 21st, 2013
Don Shipley’s latest busted phony SEAL video comes with some dating advice. But the phony is “Dave” from Fort Worth, Texas – and he has 147 sniper kills.
He says that he’s honored that Don called him, but he can’t form the words with his pudgy lips to admit that he’s a phony. Not quite so honored at the end of the video, though.
February 21st, 2013 at 7:35 pm
Old Dave’s strategy was as transparent as Saran Wrap. First, lie. Then, when that doesn’t work so well, start talking and don’t stop. When that, too, fails, try flattery. What a weasel. We didn’t get a “Wanna try that agin” this time but the intro was GREAT! That look on Shipley’s face when he said “Whiskey” was a hoot.
February 21st, 2013 at 8:12 pm
Too funny. I still remember my group was 3037 in MCRD – 23 years ago and we didn’t shout it 100 times each day.
February 21st, 2013 at 8:16 pm
“What ship did you serve on?” Me, USS Germantown in ’93, 31st MEUSOC. But this poser can’t even name his ship. You should have asked him what Yellow Well meant… I bet he spent his career waking up at 3am to make pastries.
February 21st, 2013 at 8:17 pm
He’s go SOOO much respect for you that he can’t give you a straight answer…
February 21st, 2013 at 8:24 pm
I’m so glad that almost nobody tries to impersonate bubbleheads and/or nukes.
February 21st, 2013 at 8:52 pm
Don’s expressions during this entire conversation are priceless.
February 21st, 2013 at 9:09 pm
@3, My brother served on the USS Francis Hammond (sp?). He never tried to pretend he was a SEAL. He always said he did his job and nothing more or nothing less.
February 21st, 2013 at 9:10 pm
@#3, Funny that you mention pastries, after watching the video and seeing pics of that porker, I thought that he looks like he “killed” 146 jelly doughnuts in one setting! Another choice hit from Chief Shipley!
February 21st, 2013 at 9:11 pm
Spraky, sadly these turds almost always claim to have a CIB. It makes me want to pin mine to their foreheads.
February 21st, 2013 at 9:15 pm
People that can’t pop tall and take responsibility. It’s always someone else who gets hurt and then they try to yammer their way out of trouble.
CTIC(SG)
February 21st, 2013 at 9:16 pm
Retired, by the way
February 21st, 2013 at 10:04 pm
‘You know I always wanted to pretend to be an architect.’
February 21st, 2013 at 10:50 pm
Another turd.
February 21st, 2013 at 11:00 pm
One of the most aggravating videos I’ve watched, brings the entire asshattery out in living color. Shame he couldn’t reach through the phone and grab him by the neck. Wish there was a legal punishment that fits that fraud.
February 21st, 2013 at 11:01 pm
Nice game of kiss ass he is playing to Shipley. This guy seems like is gonna lie to the end.
February 21st, 2013 at 11:15 pm
“uhhh, umm…where do I know you from?” I could tell when he was asked a simple question that this interview was not going to go well for the dumbass.
February 21st, 2013 at 11:21 pm
I am not in the military and never was, so this is just a guess here, and feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but I would THINK that GENERALLY, a guy who went through some of the most elite military training in the world, a guy who had to throw himself 200% at having both ultimate physical fitness AND ultimate mental focus, would not ever “let himself go” barring a severe injury that prohibited him from doing physical exercise. How could he? Any fitness regimen he could ever possibly put himself through on his own time after his career was over would seem like a miniscule effort compared to what he had to do in training; keeping in basic physical shape would be second nature to him. Am I totally off base in this assumption or is this generally correct? Because so many of these fucking pathetic posers look like tubs of lard…how can they possibly think they can get away with the act? How can they think they can fool anybody?
February 22nd, 2013 at 12:35 am
@ 17, The only thing these losers think about is how much attention they can get or how much they can con people for!
February 22nd, 2013 at 1:42 am
Whiskey in a dirty glass and the middle finger salute…
Like my granddad used to say: “Oh, for the days when men were men and women were glad of it.”
February 22nd, 2013 at 3:58 am
I wish Don Shipley would call me.
February 22nd, 2013 at 8:12 am
#19 Ex-PH2
I’d always heard it as “When men were men and sheep were scared.”
oh . . . wait . . . different conversation.
February 22nd, 2013 at 8:25 am
Part of me really wants to pretend to be a SEAL just to screw with clueless civilians. Of course, I’d go the whole hog, three Medals of Honor, five Navy Crosses, one of those new “non-heroic hero” medal, the only SEAL that has over a thousand confirmed kills (“Oh, I can’t tell you about the time I got to use a tactical nuke, that’s classified.”), and so on. Oh, did I mention I’m female?
February 22nd, 2013 at 9:29 am
@20 – Why don’t you call him?
February 22nd, 2013 at 12:28 pm
Thank goodness no one follows up on Space Shuttle Tail Gunners. I went through class… um… 398. Had 300 confirmed kills. With a knife!
February 22nd, 2013 at 12:31 pm
You can call Don. Of course, having a reason to call him would be good, but he’ll chat with you about his courses if you’re interested.
February 22nd, 2013 at 12:42 pm
I….just….can’t….stop….staring….at….his….hair.
February 22nd, 2013 at 12:45 pm
A double-maned Hayflinger would be proud to have Don Shipley’s hair.
February 22nd, 2013 at 1:25 pm
Damn…I never caught his full name. I wanted to look this dude up if he’s still on Facebook
February 22nd, 2013 at 1:26 pm
Imma start falsely claiming that I’m Don Shipley’s hairdresser
February 22nd, 2013 at 1:32 pm
@29. But everyone knows that his hair auto-coiffures. Even he isn’t permitted to touch it.
February 22nd, 2013 at 1:41 pm
@30 But since when do actual facts matter to valor-thieves? So, no, really. Imma try it. Maybe it’ll score me a call from the man himself some day
I’m headed to ebay to get me some medals!
February 22nd, 2013 at 2:36 pm
Sorry, Don–I’m a beer guy…and not a “fruity” beer guy. But I’m glad my girlfriend has never gazed upon your visage. She might leave me for your hair alone.
So…MAGNIFICENT. Just wow.
February 22nd, 2013 at 2:51 pm
If you touch Don’s hair, does it bite?
February 22nd, 2013 at 3:00 pm
I taught at the Special Forces Underwater Operations School in Key West, FL. I was out on Duval Street and saw some guy wearing a shirt with a Ranger Tab. Believe me, this guy was not a Ranger. I was on my way to confront him when I saw this guy with a Rolling Stones cap on. I kicked the shit out of that Keith Richards impersonator.
February 22nd, 2013 at 3:09 pm
PH2–no, but like underneath Chuck Norris’ beard, underneath Don Shipley’s hair is another fist.
February 22nd, 2013 at 3:13 pm
@34. Is that it? Jeez. You couldn’t possibly be serious. Or could you?
February 22nd, 2013 at 3:19 pm
@36. No, I couldn’t possibly be serious.
February 22nd, 2013 at 3:24 pm
@37. That’s good. For a minute there I thought you were trying to illustrate a point but I thought, “No one other than Joe Biden could possibly be that stupid.”
February 22nd, 2013 at 3:39 pm
@38. Joe Biden would have thought I was serious too.
February 22nd, 2013 at 4:09 pm
@39. Perhaps Biden would but I invoked him by way of suggesting that anyone who would liken the false claims of military service to someone wearing a Rolling Stones cap would be a first-class moron.
February 22nd, 2013 at 4:13 pm
A mentally retarded one-eyed orangutan on LSD has at least ten times more brains, common sense, and competence than Joe Biden does!
February 22nd, 2013 at 4:14 pm
Actually, cortezoid, it wasn’t particularly clear to anyone at first whether you were being serious or not.
You seem to have commented precisely three times here at TAH, all today. That makes you an unknown quantity to the regulars and thus easier to “misread”.
We also get a fair number of trolls and fools who comment here. Not calling you either of those, but when you’re new – no one knows you yet. And hell – even regulars here misread each other from time to time.
Sometimes a “smilie”, a “/sarc” or “/snark”, or something similar is useful to ensure understanding. That’s especially true when you’re the FNG. (smile)
February 22nd, 2013 at 4:27 pm
@42. He tried. He failed. We get it.
February 22nd, 2013 at 4:46 pm
What Hondo said, cortezoid. Welcome.
February 22nd, 2013 at 4:56 pm
Aww, Don, Captain Kangaroo never claimed to be a SEAL. He was, however, a Marine. (at 12:00 in the video)
February 22nd, 2013 at 5:05 pm
Cortezoid wrote: “Believe me, this guy was not a Ranger. I was on my way to confront him when I saw this guy with a Rolling Stones cap on. I kicked the shit out of that Keith Richards impersonator.” Maybe someone can provide me with a reasonable alternative view of that line. My view of it is that Cotezoid here is saying that taking someone to task for making false claims of military service is as ridiculous as concluding that someone is Keith Richards because he is wearing a Rolling Stones cap.
February 22nd, 2013 at 5:18 pm
@46 That’s possible, Air Cav, but the way I read it was something like the old saw that I saw awhile ago: “I still miss my ex-wife…but my aim is getting better.” A change in direction at the end for unexpected humor. Only cortezoid can say for sure if he meant to be humorous or sarcastic or even insulting. What he wrote was ambiguous enough that it is up for reader interpetation.
February 22nd, 2013 at 5:32 pm
@47. Okay. I will also point out, though, that no one here has EVER raked anyone over the proverbial coals for merely wearing a Ranger tee shirt, absent false claims or the wearing of medals and ribbons not theirs.
February 22nd, 2013 at 5:38 pm
Well, it made me laugh. Whether it was intended to be humorous was apparently irrelevant to my funny bone today.
And whiskey – fine. Dirty glass – not so much, depending.
February 22nd, 2013 at 5:38 pm
@48 Absolutely correct. I’ve never seen that either. Are you okay, AC?
February 22nd, 2013 at 5:42 pm
OWB: not sure, but I think the “dirty glass” part was a hat-tip by Don to the movie “The Right Stuff”. Specifically, the scene where the two suits from Washington go to Panchos near Edwards AFB while recruiting astronauts among the test pilots there, are offered a drink of whiskey, and decline – ordering instead a “Coca-Cola in a clean glass.” (smile)
February 22nd, 2013 at 6:03 pm
@51. Bob Hope/Bing Crosby movie. Thet walk into a Western saloon and Hope orders milk. The bartender looks at him like he’s nuts and Hope growls, with his best mean face, “In a dirty glass!”
@50. Yes, thanks. I think the guy dropped in to crack wise and it ticked me off.
February 22nd, 2013 at 6:19 pm
2/17 Air Cav: given Don’s background, I’d guess “The Right Stuff” – just seems to fit better. But you could well be right.
February 22nd, 2013 at 6:40 pm
Sure, guys, it’s been around, and joked about, for quite a while. It is kind funny actually. Most sane folks would understand that ordering a clean glass would pretty much ensure that you got one which wasn’t.
February 22nd, 2013 at 6:51 pm
I’ll try to make my jokes even more farcical next time to avoid misunderstandings.
I was with 2nd Ranger Battalion, and 1st Special Forces Group, finished my 24 years teaching at our Underwater Ops.
We have these same boneheads saying they’re Rangers, or Green Berets, especially close to Bragg, or one of the three Ranger Battalions.
I remember the SEALs that taught at SFUWO talking about the wall of shame. It amazes me that there are so many of these types.
Unfortunately, now if I meet a girl that says she was in the infantry, she might not be bullshitting me.
February 22nd, 2013 at 6:59 pm
@53. Oh ye of little faith! I had to go look it up. Hope spoke the line in the western, Son of Paleface (1952), starring him and Jane Russell. Crosby made a cameo appearance in the movie. Hope also used the line in an earlier movie but it was lemonade, not milk that he ordered.
February 22nd, 2013 at 7:00 pm
@55. Okay, bud. You have my apology.
February 24th, 2013 at 2:19 pm
Dave- has soooooo much respect for the military..show it by not going the poser route….what a fucking loser.
February 24th, 2013 at 2:49 pm
cortezoid: no offense intended by my comments above, either. Without the feedback accorded by knowledge of the individual, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc . . . , it’s sometimes damn hard to tell if someone is being facetious or serious. I frankly didn’t know with certainty which you were doing above. I thought you were probably joking, but I wasn’t really sure.
TAH also gets a fair number of trolls – as well as sometimes an appearance by one of the posers themselves, or someone defending them. Combine the two, and it becomes especially easy to misread/misunderstand someone with little or no history here.
Written or graphic cues do help. That’s all I was trying to say.
That said: welcome. You sound like someone whose opinion and experience TAH can use and will value. Please stick around.