Dating advice and phony SEAL busting

| February 21, 2013 | 59 Comments

Don Shipley’s latest busted phony SEAL video comes with some dating advice. But the phony is “Dave” from Fort Worth, Texas – and he has 147 sniper kills.

He says that he’s honored that Don called him, but he can’t form the words with his pudgy lips to admit that he’s a phony. Not quite so honored at the end of the video, though.

Category: Phony soldiers

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  1. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Old Dave’s strategy was as transparent as Saran Wrap. First, lie. Then, when that doesn’t work so well, start talking and don’t stop. When that, too, fails, try flattery. What a weasel. We didn’t get a “Wanna try that agin” this time but the intro was GREAT! That look on Shipley’s face when he said “Whiskey” was a hoot.

  2. Fen says:

    Too funny. I still remember my group was 3037 in MCRD – 23 years ago and we didn’t shout it 100 times each day.

  3. Fen says:

    “What ship did you serve on?” Me, USS Germantown in ’93, 31st MEUSOC. But this poser can’t even name his ship. You should have asked him what Yellow Well meant… I bet he spent his career waking up at 3am to make pastries.

  4. Fen says:

    He’s go SOOO much respect for you that he can’t give you a straight answer…

  5. NHSparky says:

    I’m so glad that almost nobody tries to impersonate bubbleheads and/or nukes.

  6. Tony says:

    Don’s expressions during this entire conversation are priceless.

  7. Twist says:

    @3, My brother served on the USS Francis Hammond (sp?). He never tried to pretend he was a SEAL. He always said he did his job and nothing more or nothing less.

  8. A_Proud_Infidel says:

    @#3, Funny that you mention pastries, after watching the video and seeing pics of that porker, I thought that he looks like he “killed” 146 jelly doughnuts in one setting! Another choice hit from Chief Shipley!

  9. Twist says:

    Spraky, sadly these turds almost always claim to have a CIB. It makes me want to pin mine to their foreheads.

  10. Jorge says:

    People that can’t pop tall and take responsibility. It’s always someone else who gets hurt and then they try to yammer their way out of trouble.

    CTIC(SG)

  11. Jorge says:

    Retired, by the way ;-)

  12. kp32 says:

    ‘You know I always wanted to pretend to be an architect.’

  13. Green Thumb says:

    Another turd.

  14. RunPatRun says:

    One of the most aggravating videos I’ve watched, brings the entire asshattery out in living color. Shame he couldn’t reach through the phone and grab him by the neck. Wish there was a legal punishment that fits that fraud.

  15. C2/2000AF says:

    Nice game of kiss ass he is playing to Shipley. This guy seems like is gonna lie to the end.

  16. “uhhh, umm…where do I know you from?” I could tell when he was asked a simple question that this interview was not going to go well for the dumbass.

  17. Mandrax says:

    I am not in the military and never was, so this is just a guess here, and feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but I would THINK that GENERALLY, a guy who went through some of the most elite military training in the world, a guy who had to throw himself 200% at having both ultimate physical fitness AND ultimate mental focus, would not ever “let himself go” barring a severe injury that prohibited him from doing physical exercise. How could he? Any fitness regimen he could ever possibly put himself through on his own time after his career was over would seem like a miniscule effort compared to what he had to do in training; keeping in basic physical shape would be second nature to him. Am I totally off base in this assumption or is this generally correct? Because so many of these fucking pathetic posers look like tubs of lard…how can they possibly think they can get away with the act? How can they think they can fool anybody?

  18. A_Proud_Infidel says:

    @ 17, The only thing these losers think about is how much attention they can get or how much they can con people for!

  19. Ex-PH2 says:

    Whiskey in a dirty glass and the middle finger salute…

    Like my granddad used to say: “Oh, for the days when men were men and women were glad of it.”

  20. ItAllFades says:

    I wish Don Shipley would call me. :(

  21. B Woodman says:

    #19 Ex-PH2
    I’d always heard it as “When men were men and sheep were scared.”
    oh . . . wait . . . different conversation.

  22. Former Marine says:

    Part of me really wants to pretend to be a SEAL just to screw with clueless civilians. Of course, I’d go the whole hog, three Medals of Honor, five Navy Crosses, one of those new “non-heroic hero” medal, the only SEAL that has over a thousand confirmed kills (“Oh, I can’t tell you about the time I got to use a tactical nuke, that’s classified.”), and so on. Oh, did I mention I’m female?

  23. Ex-PH2 says:

    @20 – Why don’t you call him? ;)

  24. Anonymous says:

    Thank goodness no one follows up on Space Shuttle Tail Gunners. I went through class… um… 398. Had 300 confirmed kills. With a knife!

  25. Tango9 says:

    You can call Don. Of course, having a reason to call him would be good, but he’ll chat with you about his courses if you’re interested.

  26. Twist says:

    I….just….can’t….stop….staring….at….his….hair.

  27. PintoNag says:

    A double-maned Hayflinger would be proud to have Don Shipley’s hair.

  28. The Chief says:

    Damn…I never caught his full name. I wanted to look this dude up if he’s still on Facebook

  29. Mandy says:

    Imma start falsely claiming that I’m Don Shipley’s hairdresser :)

  30. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    @29. But everyone knows that his hair auto-coiffures. Even he isn’t permitted to touch it.

  31. Mandy says:

    @30 But since when do actual facts matter to valor-thieves? So, no, really. Imma try it. Maybe it’ll score me a call from the man himself some day ;)

    I’m headed to ebay to get me some medals!

  32. NHSparky says:

    Sorry, Don–I’m a beer guy…and not a “fruity” beer guy. But I’m glad my girlfriend has never gazed upon your visage. She might leave me for your hair alone.

    So…MAGNIFICENT. Just wow.

  33. Ex-PH2 says:

    If you touch Don’s hair, does it bite?

  34. cortezoid says:

    I taught at the Special Forces Underwater Operations School in Key West, FL. I was out on Duval Street and saw some guy wearing a shirt with a Ranger Tab. Believe me, this guy was not a Ranger. I was on my way to confront him when I saw this guy with a Rolling Stones cap on. I kicked the shit out of that Keith Richards impersonator.

  35. NHSparky says:

    PH2–no, but like underneath Chuck Norris’ beard, underneath Don Shipley’s hair is another fist.

  36. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    @34. Is that it? Jeez. You couldn’t possibly be serious. Or could you?

  37. cortezoid says:

    @36. No, I couldn’t possibly be serious.

  38. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    @37. That’s good. For a minute there I thought you were trying to illustrate a point but I thought, “No one other than Joe Biden could possibly be that stupid.”

  39. cortezoid says:

    @38. Joe Biden would have thought I was serious too.

    • Hondo says:

      Actually, cortezoid, it wasn’t particularly clear to anyone at first whether you were being serious or not.

      You seem to have commented precisely three times here at TAH, all today. That makes you an unknown quantity to the regulars and thus easier to “misread”.

      We also get a fair number of trolls and fools who comment here. Not calling you either of those, but when you’re new – no one knows you yet. And hell – even regulars here misread each other from time to time.

      Sometimes a “smilie”, a “/sarc” or “/snark”, or something similar is useful to ensure understanding. That’s especially true when you’re the FNG. (smile)

  40. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    @39. Perhaps Biden would but I invoked him by way of suggesting that anyone who would liken the false claims of military service to someone wearing a Rolling Stones cap would be a first-class moron.

  41. A_Proud_Infidel says:

    A mentally retarded one-eyed orangutan on LSD has at least ten times more brains, common sense, and competence than Joe Biden does!

  42. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    @42. He tried. He failed. We get it.

  43. PintoNag says:

    What Hondo said, cortezoid. Welcome.

  44. Mustang says:

    Aww, Don, Captain Kangaroo never claimed to be a SEAL. He was, however, a Marine. (at 12:00 in the video)

  45. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Cortezoid wrote: “Believe me, this guy was not a Ranger. I was on my way to confront him when I saw this guy with a Rolling Stones cap on. I kicked the shit out of that Keith Richards impersonator.” Maybe someone can provide me with a reasonable alternative view of that line. My view of it is that Cotezoid here is saying that taking someone to task for making false claims of military service is as ridiculous as concluding that someone is Keith Richards because he is wearing a Rolling Stones cap.

  46. PintoNag says:

    @46 That’s possible, Air Cav, but the way I read it was something like the old saw that I saw awhile ago: “I still miss my ex-wife…but my aim is getting better.” A change in direction at the end for unexpected humor. Only cortezoid can say for sure if he meant to be humorous or sarcastic or even insulting. What he wrote was ambiguous enough that it is up for reader interpetation.

  47. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    @47. Okay. I will also point out, though, that no one here has EVER raked anyone over the proverbial coals for merely wearing a Ranger tee shirt, absent false claims or the wearing of medals and ribbons not theirs.

  48. OWB says:

    Well, it made me laugh. Whether it was intended to be humorous was apparently irrelevant to my funny bone today. ;)

    And whiskey – fine. Dirty glass – not so much, depending.

  49. PintoNag says:

    @48 Absolutely correct. I’ve never seen that either. Are you okay, AC?

  50. Hondo says:

    OWB: not sure, but I think the “dirty glass” part was a hat-tip by Don to the movie “The Right Stuff”. Specifically, the scene where the two suits from Washington go to Panchos near Edwards AFB while recruiting astronauts among the test pilots there, are offered a drink of whiskey, and decline – ordering instead a “Coca-Cola in a clean glass.” (smile)

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