The Secretary of the Navy has announced that a new ship will be named in honor of former President William Jefferson “Bill” Clinton.
In a minor break with recent tradition, the ship to be named in honor of former President Clinton will not be an aircraft carrier. Instead, a next-generation submarine will be named after the former POTUS.
This is not without precedent. Former Presidents Lyndon Johnson and Franklin Roosevelt are currently honored by having Arleigh Burke-class destroyers named after them. And many other former US Presidents – including Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Jackson, Polk, Lincoln, Grant, Theodore Roosevelt, Wilson, and Carter – have been honored by having Navy submarines named in their honor. Indeed, the naming of a submarine to honor a former US President has at least as much precedent as does the recent practice of naming an aircraft carrier in a former President’s honor.
When advised of the Navy’s plans, former President Clinton indicated his gratitude and appreciation for the honor, and indicated that he felt a submarine was an appropriate choice. But he also indicated that using the formal, complete form of his name – e.g., the USS William Jefferson Clinton – would not be his preference for the name of the ship. The former President indicated he had always found the long form of his name a bit cumbersome; he requested that the Navy come up with a suitable but shorter name for the ship.
Navy officials conferred with several former associates and family members of the former President – including his wife, former First Lady and Secretary of State Hilary Clinton and their daughter Chelsea. After consulting with these individuals and others over a period of several weeks, a suitable, shorter name for the vessel was determined.
The keel for the new submarine will be laid next year at Electric Boat Shipyard, Groton, CT. The USS Horndog is expected to be commissioned sometime in 2021.
As an additional honor to the former POTUS, the ship’s crew will wear special headgear vice standard Navy covers. Specifically, personnel assigned to the ship will have special authority to wear a black beret with special metal insignia depicting a stylized warship in lieu of normal Navy headgear.
(Yes, folks – the article above is satire. S-A-T-I-R-E.)