Iran’s toy boat

| March 21, 2014 | 43 Comments

nimitz_carrier

The New York Times reports that Iran has been throwing away their money on building a boat that looks like our Nimitz-class carriers (a real Nimitz-class is pictured above), but in 2:3 scale and without a nuclear propulsion system.

“Based on our observations, this is not a functioning aircraft carrier; it’s a large barge built to look like an aircraft carrier,” said Cmdr. Jason Salata, a spokesman for the Navy’s Fifth Fleet in Bahrain, across the Persian Gulf from Iran. “We’re not sure what Iran hopes to gain by building this. If it is a big propaganda piece, to what end?”

Whatever the purpose, American officials acknowledged on Thursday that they wanted to reveal the existence of the vessel to get out ahead of the Iranians.

Navy and other American intelligence analysts surmise that the vessel, which Fifth Fleet wags have nicknamed the Target Barge, is something that Iran could tow to sea, anchor and blow up — while filming the whole thing to make a propaganda point, if, say, the talks with the Western powers over Iran’s nuclear program go south.

We should drone the thing while it’s being built – that would send a better message than whatever Iran is thinking of doing with it.

Category: Terror War

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  1. Lucky says:

    Lol let’s make a 2:3 scale Tehran, detonate it, and film that. Maybe they’ll get the point…

    • Roger in Republic says:

      I think we would be better served if we worked in full scale. Let’s nuke Tehran and film it. That would be a more pointed warning to other bad actors. (Putin, are you watching?)
      Did you see their “Stealth fighter”? A large scale model airplane, shiny skin, no engines.

  2. Sparks says:

    Too funny. I can’t wait to hear about all the pilots killed, learning to take off and land on this 21st century “barge”. “What, you tell us now we need tail hooks and restraining cables?”

  3. Sparks says:

    Meant “arresting cables”…non-Navy type here.

  4. O-4E says:

    This is some shit like North Korea would do

  5. ChipNASA says:

    ToyBoat ToyBoat ToyBoat ToyBoat ToyBoat ToyBoat ToyBoat ToyBoat ToyBoat ToyBoat ToyBoat ToyBoat
    :D

    • Sparks says:

      ChipNASA hey I had a toy boat when I was a kid just like theirs! I carved it out of wood myself. Guess what? First time I shoved it out in the pond…it sank…just like theirs will.

      (Note to self, when carving next toy boat, don’t use green oak! It doesn’t float well.)

  6. The Other Whitey says:

    Aww, ain’t that cute?

  7. wat says:

    ” American officials acknowledged on Thursday that they wanted to reveal the existence of the vessel to get out ahead of the Iranians.”

    It’s always lol worthy when countries are reduced to playing games like this. It reminds me of the propaganda minister for Iraq constantly talking about how they were winning the war and pushing the Americans back even with abrams rolling through the streets of Baghdad.

    • Sparks says:

      wat hey brother so does this mean we are now in a Naval ship building race to keep up with the Iranians? I guess this will mean retooling for WWII Liberty Ships again! :D

  8. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    • ChipNASA says:

      I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a dead bird hamburger and a cup of local snow today.

    • O-4E says:

      “The cold. The old. The lonely …and the homosexual”

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      MMMMMMMMmmm,.. Warm snow!!!
      I guess I’M RICH, I have it on tap in MY house!!

      • Sparks says:

        Yo Proud. When I was a kid we would make “snow cream”. We would take a big bowl outside, clear off the surface snow and fill up the bowl. Momma would add sugar and vanilla extract. Melted fast but it was good poor folk ice cream!

  9. 77 11C20 says:

    They are going to use it to launch the “stealth jet” mini they revealed before.

  10. Ex-PH2 says:

    Oh, now, let’s not be too hard on the Iranians. They have some sort of imagination doing this. After all, the USNavy did something like that to train pilots on Lake Michigan in WWII, with the Wolverine and the Sable.

    http://www.chicagomaritimemuseum.org/archives/aircraft-carriers/

    They were both tied up at Navy Pier at one point.

  11. NHSparky says:

    2/3 scale boat, full scale disaster, double the hilarity.

    • Sparks says:

      NHSparky, yea you just can’t make this stuff up! Can’t wait to see videos of the take offs and landings!

  12. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    I want one of those “yummy” birds in the Nork (or was it CNN?) video. Unfortunately, it’s Friday and it’s Lent. I hope no one eats all of the yummy birds before tomorrow.

  13. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    I would no EF with the Iranians …

    Check this out!

  14. Flagwaver says:

    I say that we drone it with pink paint filled bombs and drop them in a happy face pattern on the deck.

  15. AW1 Tim says:

    I imagine this sort of engagement. :)

  16. Just An Old Dog says:

    Idiots,
    Pure braggadocio trying to project an image of being a Naval power. They live on the Persian Gulf. Anything larger tyan a destroyer or frigate is a complete waste. Land based air is completely capable of any mission they have within their sphere of influence. If they are really worried about US Presense in the Gulf they should invest in mobile Shore to ship missle batteries. A lot cheaper, harder to detect and a better deterent.

    • MT FAO says:

      This development actually worries me on a couple levels. I spent time looking at Iran in my last assignment and your comment about coastal missiles hits the mark. They have been trying to establish anti carrier capability for a while in bulk. My worries are: one, they aren’t worried about announcing who their perceived true enemy is by building the mock up; two, that the have hit a stage in their weapons development where they need a true target mock up to calibrate whatever systems they have built. It’s no wonder the Israelies are nervous.

  17. obsidian says:

    The mock up of a Carrier is simply a target training ship to give boat, subs and aircraft the Top Gun exercise of taking down a US Carrier.
    Laugh if you wish but with this current disengaged and impotent administration an attack by a missing airliner ala The Vicennes shoot down where the US Navy is damned if they do or don’t shoot it down.
    If it’s a WMD and gets close enough to kill the CVBG or if the CVBG shoots down the plane full of Chinese citizens then I expect there will be blood shed on a large scale.
    If not the missing airliner then the hundreds of flying, boating and submarine IEDs.
    All practicing on a mocked up barge.

  18. obsidian says:

    It’s gonna get real sooner than later.

    • Sparks says:

      Looking at it from your point of view I agree. The Iranians are a lot of things but stupid isn’t among them. There are a lot of ways to try to take out a US Carrier and you named a few. The worst scenario though…a hijacked commercial airliner. I don’t think Obama has the guts or the circle of advisers, even from the Pentagon, to give the shoot down order. Hopefully and I say hopefully, the carrier groups have enough autonomy to be able to make a self defense call like that on their own. I sure pray so. But like you said, if it is a plane load of Chinese or Muslims, any action like that will have bloody consequences for the US around the world. My reason is that I can’t imagine Obama and Kerry trying to take a stand that it was an act of self defense and stick to their guns, like say Reagan could have. They would be too busy in the shitter cleaning their pants after the news breaks.

      • teddy996 says:

        There is a pretty wide no-fly zone around a deployed carrier. There would be warnings given well in advance, and a fighter escort to help them egress the area well before they were to get within crash distance.

        The politically minded idiots currently in charge would probably not enjoy the optics associated with shooting down an airliner, but they damn sure wouldn’t want word to get out that the airliner had denied warnings from the destroyer screen, the AWACS, the carrier itself, and was even provided a super hornet escort for 10 minutes before reaching the target.

        As an aside, after 9/11 the GW had deployed to NY with part of the JFK’s air wing. We went to general quarters and almost shot down one of our own sea stallions because it’s iff was running on the wrong channel. They piped up quick after the CIWS locked onto them. But the ship was well prepared to light up one of its own aircraft.

  19. David says:

    Don’t the Iranians still have Tomcats from before the Shah fell? Wonder what happens when they try to land on too little deck….I have this Thelma & Louise vision in mind, Wile E. Coyote going over a cliff. I hear it sucks going under the ship. Anyone ever keelhaul an F14 before?

    • AW1 Tim says:

      I doubt they have any of those left in useable condition. When the Islamists took over, we shut off the flow of spare parts and clamped down hard on anyone who tried to get around that blockade. They cannibalized most of their fleet to keep a handful flying, but by the time of Desert Storm, there were only a couple that i remember reading about in useable condition.

      Same with the P-3 Orions we sold them. A bit easier to keep them up and running due to commonality of some parts with the C-130. What worries me most is that we also sold them several dozen Harpoon cruise missiles. Whether any of THOSE are still useable is the question. They need reliable inspections and PM work and I don’t know if the Iranians could do that without outside help with parts, etc.

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