Totally legit

| July 19, 2014 | 82 Comments

SGM Slick

We found this guy at our friends’ place Army WTF! Moments. He’s in West Palm Beach, the photo was taken by a funeral detail. The name tag says “Davis”. I think we can disregard the rest of that shit as a means of identifying him.

SGM Slick Davis

Category: Phony soldiers

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  1. Green Thumb says:

    Florida.

    Again.

  2. AW1Ed says:

    WTF is this, the result of a “Pin the Medal on the Asshole” ice breaker at the wake?

  3. nbcguy54 says:

    Good God. Looks like he smeared himself in stickum and just rolled around in a surplus store. The E9 stripes and Infantry officer brass add a nice touch however….
    Out.

    • Green Thumb says:

      At least he has oak leaf clusters and clasps on his ribbons.

      Cut this guy some slack!!!!

    • Club Manager says:

      Centered beret – check.
      Button down European shirt collars – check.
      Only one unit citation on the left – check.
      GCM and NDSM higher than what looks like two awards of a Purple Heart Medal – check.
      Looks legit to me.

  4. Toasty Coastie says:

    Well I’ll be….another Grand Poobah Sparkle Pony….

  5. HMCS(FMF) ret. says:

    Oh, my… another wannabe South American dictator in his full glory.

    VIVA EL PRESIDENTE!!!

    • UpNorth says:

      Hey, maybe he just got to Florida on the crest of the illegal wave from Honduras?

      • MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

        Close:

        We are received word here at the TAH SCIF that he just flew in from the Phillipines and he was looking for his brother. Seems, his brother is in the Marines and they were separated at the Manila International Airport.

        Thought you might want to know.

    • T-Bird Henry says:

      Hey maybe this guy will have more Gravitas then our current edition of “Fearless Leader” or is that “Feckless Leader”? I forget which.

  6. The Other Whitey says:

    Even I can see that this guy looks like a truckload of ass. A phony who takes no pride in his fake uniform–who knew?

  7. Pineywoods NCO says:

    Dennis, Dan and Dallas all couldn’t be this f***ing stupid combined.

    This guy needs to be introduced to every SMA that is still alive and then fed to the sharks.

    • NHSparky says:

      Oh yes they can.

      • Instinct says:

        I’m with NHSparky, I have total faith and confidence in their ability to go full retard at the drop of a hat.

    • Climb to Glory says:

      Or tossed into an active volcano. Good God. This is the worse attempt of a uniform by a phony that I’ve seen since that goofy bastard wearing that Air Force uniform that had a rack that went from his shoulder to his bottom pocket. My favorite part his uniform is the rank on the beret flash and the medals that look like Helen Keller pinned them on. What a turd.

    • 68W58 says:

      This guy needs to be introduced to every SMA that is still alive and then fed to the sharks

      Unless he has visible tattoos he’s good with Chandler.

  8. Flagwaver says:

    And here I thought the new Air Force… sorry, Army uniform couldn’t look any worse…

    This guy looks like a PX took a dump on his chest.

  9. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    Can’t help but notice the two Vets detaining him … Port and Starboard.

    The goon is clutching his DD-214 in his right hand.

    The open door to the herse adds great value to the photo.

    LEGIT!

    • That doesn’t appear to be a DD-214.

      But, of course, the DD-214s today don’t look like the DD-214 I got when I was discharged.

      There’s a black and white photograph on one side, so I think it’s a funeral program.

      When I first saw the photograph, I figured everybody was rushing to judgement, as he was probably deliberately costumed for some sort of stage play in the church.

      But then, I saw the hearse, and I knew it wasn’t a joke.

      How do you know that he’s being detained by veterinarians?

      Why are they wearing SHORTS and a casual sport shirt to attend a funeral?

      I do wonder how a military impersonator could so brazenly attend a public funeral without being accosted by genuine military personnel?

      Where are they?

      Was this a funeral a military event?

      As a veteran, whenever I attended a military funeral, I always wore a coat and tie, and had my medals properly arranged on my coat.

      But, alas, now I’m too sick to go anywhere.

      Maybe, after the surgery – – – ?

      • The unit award that he’s wearing is the Republic of Viet Nam Civic Action Honor Medal Unit Award with Palm.

        I know, ’cause I have one, which was awarded to my unit, the 501st Signal Battalion (Airmobile) of the 101st Airborne Division (Airmobile) “Screaming Eagles”.

      • Just an Old Dog says:

        John,
        I’m not sure at what point the video was taken or if the Veterans who confronted him were part of the Service. I am pretty sure they were not. I think they were near the church and saw this bag of dogshit walking around, then got the backstory about the funeral.

  10. HS Sophomore says:

    Ahhh! Kill it! Kill it with fire! Before it reproduces!

  11. nbcguy54 says:

    “Sire – we found a witch! Can we burn her?”
    Sorry guys – references to “fire” tend to do that to me. Really caused problems on the range….

  12. 3/17 Air Cav says:

    Gotta love these guys!

    CIB……………..check
    Bronze Star….check
    Shooting badges……..with hanging things…………check
    Beret, with badge……..check

    All he needs is a 1st Cav patch to complete the ensemble!

    I smell a conspiracy, I think MCPO put Jonn up to this to take the heat off of Briggs and the Navy! (Smile)

    • DirtDart says:

      you forgot the fake airborne wings with “AIRBORNE” inscribe over the top.

      He’d never have left with that jacket and beret.

  13. NHSparky says:

    Gunny Driveway is even looking down his nose at this clown.

  14. Just an Old Dog says:

    This shitbag showed up at a funeral like this? Please tell me he didnt try to show up as Vet to a Veterans funeral he didnt know. I hope they snatched his DD214.

  15. Doc Savage says:

    Jayzuz!

    Where did this bucket o fuck come from?

    Did he pin those medals on with a shotgun?

  16. Otto says:

    Hey, Let’s not judge! He’s rockin the Bobby Deniro Deer Hunter Fu Manchu!

  17. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    I just identified him:

    He is the white guy, who played a black guy, who believed he was really a black guy …in the true to life and authentic Viet Nam war movie “Tropic Thunder”.

    So he is LEGIT …

  18. TheCloser says:

    And give me a dozen of them naked lady tees…

    • Sparks says:

      TheCloser…Oh, that hat! You buy one of these and you get a free bowl of soup! But it looks pretty good on you!

  19. Combat Historian says:

    I love the NCO stripes and officer insignia; TRADOC must be testing out a new rank, the Sergeant Major Major

  20. Duncan McDonut says:

    Holy smokes! He looks like the victim of a surplus store bombing!! What is it with fakers and soulpatches?

  21. 3/17 Air Cav says:

    It’s been confirmed. This guy is Adi Amin’s long lost cousin. Adi imout. It’s evident, once you compare the uniforms, and badges.

  22. FatCircles0311 says:

    Look like Soup Sandwich and Round Marine upchucked this phony.

    Must have been a serious case of heartburn.

  23. Just an Old Dog says:

    They have the video up on facebook,,, they basically let him talk himself into a hole.
    Kida wish they would have really put him on blast, but it was by a church and right after a funeral. The douchetool may have been related to the deceased.

  24. AverageNCO says:

    Folks the video is CLASSIC. Go to the Stolen Valor Facebook page. You have to see it to believe it. In one of the ALL TIME phony FAILS. They ask him to cite the number of the Army uniform reg. HE STARTS TO RECITE THE BOY SCOUT OATH!!!!! I SHIT YOU NOT. He tries to recite the friggin Boy Scout oath….AND HE DOESN’T EVEN GET THAT RIGHT!!! As a dental technician I can’t help but laugh his crappy looking full-gold crown on his front tooth. In reading the original Facebook post from one the legit Marines in the video, I believe they were part of the honor guard funeral detail. I’m guessing they didn’t want to call him out while actually performing their honor guard detail. CLASSIC.

    • AverageNCO says:

      They just posted part #2 of the video. This clown ends up running away to his car. But that’s only after he claims to be: 1. A Sergeant Major who doesn’t have to PT because he’s an OFFICER 2. A Military Police Officer 3. 3rd Infantry 4. Airborne 5. Special Forces What? No Ranger Claim? Doesn’t he know any decent phony soldier also has to claim Ranger status! The Marines get a CLEAR shot of his license tag #. I won’t post it here because I know Jonn’s policy. But if anyone knows how to do a tag search…CHECK OUT PART 2

    • MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

      “By my Honor I will always do my best, Army Manual Echo Zebra 123, ah … Got to go now to my classerfried briefing at the Houtch. We are shipping out from the LZ to the DMZ to catch PTSD while on LRP so we can collect from VA and SSA”, he recited as he drove away in his 1976 ADA adapted government station wagon.

  25. T-Bird Henry says:

    Ok, all I want to know is who let Idi Amin’s Autistic grandson out unsupervised? Yikes, what a complete and utter fake disaster! Kids, for those thinking of faking their service, do a little research first so you don’t end up like this fool.

  26. Smitty says:

    Seen this video floating around Facebook a bit. I showed my father, a retired 1sg, the still photo zoomed in. His response was “what the fuck is that?”

  27. Hack Stone says:

    Any bets in how long until he shows up threatening to sic his “lawer” on the members of the blog?

    And just to beat Green Thumb to the punch, this guy is definite All Points Logistics material.

  28. streetsweeper says:

    I’m betting those Marines were allowed to change into civies then go after him. Dude couldn’t be much more than early twenties. Good find, Rafael. LOL! He’s definitely all jacked the f’ up! Good Lord!

  29. Isnala says:

    A Sergeant Major who can’t recite the Army uniform and/or PT regulation number? Must be the TBI from when I ‘earned’ his Bronze Star.

    • Isnala says:

      Darn small key boards, should have been from when He ‘earned’ his BSM. Which is what he’s full of Bull S%#t, Mostly.

  30. Hondo says:

    Not sure if the tab over this dipstick’s jump wings is part of the wings, or is the Ranger tab. Looks to me like it could be either. I’m betting it’s the latter.

    However, it appears from the top photo (the one that shows this toolbox’s ribbons and medals straight-on) that he’s wearing the ribbon for the DSC with some kind of device as his top inboard ribbon. The device may be an off-centered OLC; the photo isn’t quite sharp enough for me to tell for sure. That means he’s wearing the DSC in addition to the SS, BSM, PH, and CIB – and almost certainly didn’t earn any of them.

    Screw this bastard.

  31. Sapper3307 says:

    The shaving profile is a nice touch.

  32. Isnala says:

    Is it me or does his does his story about getting from Ft. Bragg in only 8 hrs when it takes every one else 14 remind me of the following:

    • Hondo says:

      Yeah, Isnala, I ain’t buying that one either. Fort Bragg to West Palm Beach is 685 miles. Making that in 8 hrs with one fuel stop (15 min lost) means he had to average almost 90MPH while actually on the road. The jackass said he stopped for fuel twice.

      Not impossible, but IMO damned unlikely – especially when you consider the two major metro areas (Savannah, Jacksonville) and other congested areas he’d hit on I95.

  33. GoldenDragon says:

    It’s not a federal offense to wear that uniform. But it is pretty hilarious, what a bag of dicks.

    • AverageNCO says:

      Maybe not the uniform alone, but it is a federal offense to fraudulently wear that CIB, Purple Heart, and the DSC if it turns out he was wearing that too. And this is a separate statute from the Stolen Valor Act. Don’t believe me?
      http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/704

      • Hondo says:

        Um, AverageNCO . . . actually, 18 USC 704(b) and 18 USC 704(d) are the Stolen Valor Act of 2013. Those para were changed in/added to the US Code after the SCOTUS ruled the Stolen Valor Act of 2005 (which also was in 18 USC 704) unconstitutional.

        Unfortunately, unless the guy was doing this in an attempt to profit tangibly, he probably can’t be the prosecuted for merely wearing the decorations without authority unless he’s in the military (IRR included).

        • AverageNCO says:

          Okay Hondo, apologies. I just got finished reading Doug Sterner’s book, and what I took from reading that was that actually wearing the medals was a separate statute from the SVA. I should leave the legalise to the experts. But while we’re on the subject of what I do know….as a dental technician with 20+ years of service, I am certain he did not get that horrible pre-fab crown placed by a military dentist. That came out the drawer of a from one of the “clinics” located next to pawn shops.

          • Hondo says:

            AverageNCO: I thought the same, and that’s possible if the prohibition is elsewhere in the US Code. But if it still exists, it’s apparently no longer in 18 USC 704. Or anywhere in 18 USC 7XX (Title 18 Part 1 Chapter 33) that I can find, for that matter – which is where it logically should be.

            I can’t find anything in 18 USC 704 that expressly prohibits merely wearing a military decoration without authority. Buying, selling, trading, falsely wearing in an attempt to receive a tangible benefit – yes, that’s expressly prohibited. Merely wearing them without authority? Unfortunately, not that I can find.

          • Hondo says:

            I think I figured out what happened. Apparently the prohibition on wearing military decorations without authority was removed by passage of the Stolen Valor Act of 2013. See

            http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/PLAW-113publ12/html/PLAW-113publ12.htm

            In Section 2, the term “wears” – which was previously present in 18 USC 704a, making unauthorized wear of any military decoration a violation of Federal law – was stricken (removed). This was probably necessary to comply with the 2012 SCOTUS decision invalidating the Stolen Valor Act of 2005 on free speech grounds. Wearing something that conveys a message has long been considered to be a form of nonverbal “speech”.

            Prior to that, wearing military decorations without authority was indeed categorically against the law. That no longer appears to be the case.

            Wonderful. Just freaking wonderful.

    • Hondo says:

      Actually, Golden Dragon – technically it is against the law for someone to wear the uniform of either the armed forces or the PHS without authority. See 18 USC 702.

      It’s just prosecuted so rarely that I can’t recall ever seeing or hearing of that happening.

    • MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

      Ah … Yes it is!

      The uniform, medals, ribbons, badges, insignia, rank … All against the law to wear.

  34. Sparks says:

    The guy is obviously trolling for broads at the funeral. Hoping someone asks him to lunch or dinner so he can wow them with the stories. I just wish it were a true Army military family with a senior NCO who invited him home. Many ways to hide a body in Florida. I mean, gators gotta eat too ya know. I think if I were Emperor I would not only beef up the Stolen Valor Act but add to it that it is a crime to sell your uniforms to surplus stores or donate them. They would have to be returned to the nearest military post. If we could get uniforms off the market then they would have to wear the medals and ribbons on a double breasted sear sucker suit or something. That would be a good look. Plus the “new” act would include free public beat downs for anyone caught like that by real veterans. No charges, no crime. They just get what they got coming to ‘em. You know, in my mind and imaginations…it’s good to be Emperor!

    • Hondo says:

      That would be my guess too, Sparks.

      It would IMO be poetic justice if he succeeded – with one who had herpes, and passed same along to him.

      • AverageNCO says:

        The all-time funeral troll award goes to Walter K. Carlson. This tubby retired bus driver trolled military funerals dressed as a Marine officer with a Navy Cross. Unfortunately, he chose to attend a funeral that FBI Agent Thomas Cottone was also attending. Cottone is on the Mount Rushmore of Stolen Valor Hunters. He pulled Carlson aside, made him pose for a photo, and arrested him on the spot. Hondo this is part of my confusion on the law we discussed that is separate from the Stolen Valor Act. The pictures of Carlson are classic.
        http://arlingtoncemetery.net/wkcarlson-imposter.htm

        • Hondo says:

          That case was even prior to the Stolen Valor Act of 2005 being passed. It is indeed possible that the law previously included a blanket prohibition on unauthorized wear of military decorations which was changed with the passage of the Stolen Valor Acts (2005 and/or 2013), or by the passage of a different law at some time after 2004.

          18 USC 702 separately prohibits wearing a military uniform without authority. To my knowledge it has not been changed, nor has it been invalidated by SCOTUS decision. It’s also possible he was charged under that part of Federal law, since the guy was apparently wearing a full set of USMC Dress Blues when he was arrested.

  35. NHSparky says:

    Seriously, when did Wesley Snipes start making military movies?

    • C2Show says:

      Sad, Snipes is more articulate than this asshole. If it was Snipes though, he probably would have pulled a passenger 57 on the marines only to get his ass kicked.

  36. C2Show says:

    Look like a young Wesley Snipes!

  37. RayRaytheSBS says:

    Wow, where to begin on this one;

    1. Beret TOTALLY F##KED up.
    2. Medals and ribbons on the same uniform.
    3. Wearing the Drill SGT Badge and the shield of shame (AKA Gold Recruiter badge) is a serious investment, those badges are $25-30 a piece. Plus it looks like he didn’t pin through the pocket the whole way with his recruiting badge, you can see a little of the ‘damnit’ sticking out from the edge.
    4. While he did get it right that Sergeants Major do not wear their blue disks with their uniform, they also DON’T wear the blue cord. One of the things you give up to be a Sergeant Major.
    5. If he Were SF, why is he only a novice rated parachutist? I’m amazed more of these posers don’t go with the ‘Master Blaster'[ wings because they ‘look cooler’. Probably didn’t realize there were different wings.
    6. What? no foreign award CSM? Where is his Combat Service Id Badge for his ‘Team time’?

    Long and the short of it, this guy is a bag of a$$, And he REALLY needs to ditch that beret. You’re not the pizza delivery guy, douche.

  38. MEkanger says:

    This guy is really a piece of work. He wore SGM rank but told one of the guys that he was the Battalion Sergeant Major which would be the CSM rank (Unless he’s an admin Sergeant Major). I still think I would have tried to take down his plates and call CID to report him for saying he was a military police officer. He didn’t show his law enforcement credentials which means if he is in fact an MP (Which he is not) that’s a violation. I’d take his plates down with that video and show the proper authority. Even if you report it to the PMO at the nearest base.

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