Totally Legit; The Movie UPDATED

| July 20, 2014 | 104 Comments


UPDATE:
In Part II, he’s suddenly an MP;

YouTube has pulled the videos, but Guardian of Valor has them up.

Category: Phony soldiers

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Comments (104)

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  1. 1SG Gimmie Some!! says:

    Kudos to you guys! I would have knocked his gold tooth out of his fucking CARL head!!!

    (Former 11B)

  2. OlafTheTanker says:

    Is that Eddie Griffin researching a role for SGM Goldtoof?

    What a maroon.

  3. AverageNCO says:

    Gawd, each time I watch this I pick up on some new piece of bullshit. 82nd Airborne? Shouldn’t his beret be maroon and his trousers bloused inside his boots?
    And then this quote:
    “You see in Baghdad and Iraq, I don’t know if ya’ll KIDS have been over there. But over there, it’s classified, but, you should know the story.”
    W…T….F!!!!!
    How did I miss the “It’s classified” line the first dozen times? Of course he used that line. Seriously, did someone right a “Stolen Valor for Dummies Manual”
    And he called them KIDS! These Marines showed amazing restraint. I just hope they don’t get in trouble for going public with this. I can seriously see a little PAO Lt. getting his panties in a wad that they posted this without authorization.

    • PAO SSG says:

      As someone with 12 years in public affairs and two deployments, I can tell you that they are well within regulations to call out a phoney.

      As an NCO, I would expect nothing less from my troops if they saw a disgrace sack of shit parading around like a surplus store vomited all over them.

      And as someone with two deployments to Iraq and no BSM or higher, a perfectly boring career served honorably is my highest goal. I’ll volunteer for every mission, and won’t get upset if nothing bad happens.

    • NR Pax says:

      Notice that the Marines stayed respectful even as they were calling him out. I think a PAO Lt. making an issue of this would be killed and eaten by his CO.

  4. rb325th says:

    What an absolute oxygen thieving bastard!! Betting if you ever find out his info and get a FOIA done, he was a trainee discharge. Hell he may have even been a DEP Loss. Trying to recite the General Orders at the end…
    Douchebag!!

    • AverageNCO says:

      I don’t think those were General Orders. Seriously, he was reciting the first line to the Boy Scout Oath.

      • tavern knight says:

        AverageNCO,

        This scum-sucking turd can’t be “reciting the first line to the Boy Scout Oath” because he has no honor and is not trustworthy – that’s why.

        Said Marines could have taken the scuz’s jacket & beret, tho.

  5. 68W58 says:

    It’s worse than when the two cops called out Eddie Murphy in “Trading Places”.

  6. Redacted1775 says:

    Never mind the Silver Star and Bronze Star with combat distinguishing device, dude says he got em for saving his SSgt from committing suicide?! This guy is literally too stupid to know he’s been caught. Bag of smashed assholes lookin motherfucker.

  7. Sparks says:

    I think they showed great restraint considering the situation in not giving this guy a beat down.

  8. AverageNCO says:

    Bulldog1 at Stole Valor Facebook/Guardian of Valor says he has an ID on him. Something tells me that some photos will pop up showing this wasn’t his first time in this costume. I would love some more pics to see if Hondo is correct, and the guy is wearing a DSC in addition to the BSM/SSM. Wearing those medals with that uniform is a Federal Offense completely separate from the Stolen Valor Act. Even if they don’t want to fully prosecute him, FBI agents have enough probable cause to at least show up at his door and seize those medals. This is one of those times I wish we could bring Special Agent Tom Cottone out of retirement for just one day. He always at least ensured the medals were seized.

  9. Jonp says:

    That is Goldmember’s Sgt of the Guard

  10. Delilah t. says:

    A fusterclucker before I’ve even had breakfast. Wow. Nice movie.

  11. Pineywoods NCO says:

    What a dumbass.

  12. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Well, I’m impressed. Yeah, looks and sound legit. Tard. Meanwhile, I met a fellow this weekend, an older man with a USMC ballcap on. I introduced myself and we spoke for 10 minutes. I knew he was legit because he said two things about his service in Vietnam:
    First, that he guarded an ammo dump and, second, that he was granted emerg leave owing to the eath of his brother and that when it cam e time to go back, he didn’t want to–but did. No heroics. No puffery. Just a Veteran who did what the hell he was told to do.

  13. Hondo says:

    OK, got a question for the group here.

    In the photo that Jonn posted here, this tool is wearing a circular bronze medal with a 5 pointed star. It’s hanging between the Bronze and Silver Stars he wearing.

    The Army Institute of Heraldry has pretty good pages listing images of military decorations (the first is here, and the second is here). That item doesn’t seem to be there. I also don’t recognize the ribbon – the ribbon is similar to a couple of the DoD military decorations, but it’s definitely not any of them. And the medal isn’t close to any of those, either.

    Does anyone out there have a clue as to what in the world this tool is wearing? Not of earth-shaking importance, but I’m curious.

    • AverageNCO says:

      Okay Hondo, I get to redeem myself for my flub with the Stolen Valor act earlier. That is the Military Outstanding Volunteer Service Medal. I’m certain of it because I was honored to be the recipient of one last December.

    • Delilah T. says:

      I think the one you’re talking about is for Outstanding Military Volunteer Service.

    • Hondo says:

      That’s probably it. On my screen, the center stripe on the suspension ribbon was appearing more reddish than green and the two next to it a deeper yellow/gold than on the MOVSM, so that fooled me. Probably false color due to shadow.

      Thanks.

    • AnotherPat says:

      Hondo, in reference to your question of what he is wearing between the Bronze and Silver Star:

      Possibly Airborne Wings with Blue RANGER TAB?

    • AnotherPat says:

      Hondo, made a mistake on which item you were addressing. You already identified the Airborne Wings. Average NCO and Delilah are correct.

  14. Climb to Glory says:

    Were these guys Marines because they were pretty knowledgeable in regards to the Army uniform. Plus the one guy told the turd how long the drive is from Fayetteville to West Palm Beach. By the way, wasn’t Hussar in West Palm. Hmmmmmm…

    • 68W58 says:

      I think he said “from that area” in referring to the drive, which could reasonably be inferred to be LeJeune (in both instances you’d be driving down I-95 most of the way).

      It could be that some of those throwing out the questions had been in both branches (I’ve known a lot of former Marines in the Guard), or that they just had their phone and googled “Army uniform regulation”.

      • Climb to Glory says:

        That’s what I was thinking. I know a few Marines that went Guard or regular Army after their time in the Marines. Good situational awareness on their part.

  15. Green Thumb says:

    Turd Bolling of Ambassador Worldwide Protection Agency at a younger age.

  16. Sam Naomi says:

    I think your all wrong about this dude. He’ for (REAL). He owns his own Army @ Navy surplus store that does sidewalk advertizing. (LOL)

    Sam ( Where the tall corn grows)

  17. Hayabusa says:

    “I don’t run PT. I’m an officer, man.”

    ROTFLMAO.

    • Mustang1LT says:

      Man, I’ve been doing this ALL wrong! No more PT for me!

      :)

    • OldSoldier54 says:

      “… I’m an officer …”

      – with big freakin’ Sergeant Major stripes on his sleeves no less …

      I think I’m impressed. Negatively speaking, that is.

      • Flagwaver says:

        Don’t forget the fact that he’s assigned to Sergeant Major because of the pin on his Monica-cap.

        If I were to call him ate up like a soup sandwich, it would be an insult to Soup Sandwich.

  18. Flagwaver says:

    I actually feel dumber watching this guy and his bullshit.

  19. ArmyATC says:

    Holy Jesus jumped up Christ on a crutch!! What in the name of Jupiter’s balls did I just watch? It looked like the guy rolled around in a surplus store. And quoting the Boy Scout oath as the Army uniform regulation? How did those guys restrain themselves from throat punching that moron?

  20. OldSoldier54 says:

    Well done, Marines! Wish I could have been there.

    That bozo is a USDA Prime Dingleberry. Possibly, Wotund Willie may have just met his match?

  21. Duncan McDonut says:

    I love him on that Family Feud show!!

    “Twenty people asked.. Name 6 things a stolen valor douche should never be without”

    1).Lame Story involving special ops
    2) Fake classified paperwork
    3).uniform with at least 2 sets of “wings”
    4).Substance abuse problem
    5).Dishonorable discharge/separation
    6). Soulpatch/ponytail

    • C2Show says:

      I would be willing to say this dude did not even enlist. LOL the question about reg was just cringeworthy.

      • Duncan McDonut says:

        True but a well enterprising faker could find them online. The laziness of these idiots is incredible. Do they think military folks just decide which decorations look good together for fashion?
        I think there needs to be a Fake Veterans of Fake Foreign Wars started for these jokers. We can start with the battle of Macho Grande and finish with the latest round of covert action in Al Kidya.

  22. Mr Wolf says:

    Should have called the police… why didn’t you guys? He WAS breaking the law, and I’d bet dollar to a donut that he has other warrants out on him. any takers?

    • Don says:

      I’ll take the bet only if you give me better odds… Say a million to 1 doughnut… After all the price of a doughnut is pretty hi to risk on this guys character… It is sad to see someone think so little of them-self as to pull a stunt like this. Those two marines showed real class and self respect in the situation. The guy probably has some real issues that he needs help with. I am sure some judge will see that he gets all the help he needs in lala land. If he isn’t mental then he need the other kind of help to see the error of his ways.

  23. RunPatRun says:

    He shouldn’t have spent his medication money at the surplus store. sheesh.

  24. Hack Stone says:

    That piece of part he had rolled up in his has was his resume. Following the funeral, he had an Interview with All Points Logistics for a senior executive position.

  25. Delilah T. says:

    Oh, they got his plate number, so someone will be filling us in on his REAL ID.

    I’m guessing about this, but isn’t that hat actually a French artist’s beret from la Rive Gauche in Paris? Are those hash marks on the sleeves Army? They look like Navy to me.

    Why do I never run into these jerks? Do they only live in warm places?

  26. Toasty Coastie says:

    Geeze every time I look at this Sparkle Pony it makes me think that a Glittery Gargoyle puked up a Sequined Faerie and it splattered all over this Clown Suit.

  27. Green Thumb says:

    This assclown is probably a member of the Fraternal Order of Oddfellows with that other moron, Phony Toney.

  28. BinhTuy66 says:

    Wow, WTF? Just shaking my head. Think I need to give my dog an extra biscuit.

  29. HS Sophomore says:

    Anybody see the part in the first video towards the beginning where he says he’s the Battalion Sgt. Maj., gets asked who the CO of that unit is (meaning the battalion), and he says, “Lieutenant Smith”? Even I know that the mere idea of a Lieutenant being placed in command of a battalion is hilarious on the face of it. This guy didn’t even try.

    • C2Show says:

      Also gotta love the generic names he used too. I think he at first says Lt Colonel or something the switches to Lt. Worse part is him talking about receiving bronze star for saving someone from suicide and 2 other people for “classified reasons”, this moron was just straight out of a movie with his lines.

      He watched a few movies and thought he was gonna get away with it. 8 hour drive from NC to FL. It was tough to watch.

      • Duncan McDonut says:

        This type of guy is the reason that the AF had to stress to us in basic in 1994 during those “values classes” that pimping in uniform is illegal.

      • ArmyATC says:

        Eye was rolling my eyes throughout the entire video. But that part that made me laugh out loud was him quoting the Boy Scout oath when asked what the Army uniform code was.

  30. Sapper3307 says:

    The shaving profile is a nice touch to the outfit.
    imo

  31. Duncan McDonut says:

    The Sultan of Brunei is gonna be pissed that Huggy Bear raided his wardrobe

  32. SJ says:

    He didn’t claim being a Sniper? Fail.

  33. Combat Historian says:

    Special Forces, eh? Must’ve been on kendude crotchrot’s special Z Team…

  34. Ex-PH2 says:

    Does anyone besides me notice that the uniform he’s wearing (never mind the medals) fits so badly, he can’t possibly be anything other than a lying SOS?

    For pete’s sake the jacket is at least half a size too big for him, hangs on him like a sack of potatoes, and the pants are not tailored, either.

    That alone is a dead giveaway.

    • Hack Stone says:

      Maybe he goes to the same tailor as William Derek Church?

    • AverageNCO says:

      His pants shouldn’t be tailored. If he was really 82nd Airborne out of Ft. Bragg, his pants should be bloused above his boots! And he should be wearing a maroon beret instead of a black “Monica hat” (that was a funny one so I’m totally stealing it). Apologies if I already stated this in the thread. I’m losing track with my comments between the two. But you’re dead on correct about the jacket.

  35. jack blacker says:

    Maybe this guy has a mental problem. You know he is not legit.move on get over it.

    • AverageNCO says:

      So I’ll address both parts of your statement. Mental Problem? Perhaps. But at some point with these folks anti-social behavior from a mental disorder often crosses into sociopathic behavior. Which is why I’m no ready to move on.
      If you’ve followed this issue for a lenght of time like many of us, you’ll find that playing dress up is often just the tip of the iceberg to more serious crimes. There are the ones who rip off charities and deprive real vets of those services; people like Danny Crane, Shane Ladner, & Melanie Gutermuth. There are the ones who fake military service so they can score government contracts; people Phil Monkress, AJ Dicken, & Warren Parker. And finally there are the really scary ones, child molesters like Bill Brockbrader and Gregory Shafer. When this guy has been fully identified so that he has to give up his charade we’ll think about moving on or letting it go. But as long as he thinks he can get away with it(which is what he may still be thinking) the pressure needs to stay on. SCOTUS said it’s not illegal, but they also said they remedy for false speech is counter speech. And finally, you know one more reason I’m not ready to let it go? Our of curiosity I resarched soldiers named Davis who received a Silver Star since 9-11. There was a MSGT Davis with 5th SFG who received a Silver Star in OEF. But he was never able to wear his. You know why? Because he was KILLED earning his. Guys like this clown (mental problems or not) think it’s fun to parade around in their shiny bling. In doing so they spit on the graves of the real heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice.

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        So, what you’re saying, AvgNCO, is that if this clowndog’s REAL name turns out to NOT be Davis, which is on the name tag, he has engaged in identity theft, as well as other offenses?

        If that is the case, it’s not the first one we’ve run into.

    • CLAW131 says:

      Obviously a comment from someone who has never held up their right hand in a swearing in ceremony. Go Away,Troll.

    • Instinct says:

      Hey, Jackie, why don’t you go take a flying fuck at a doughnut.

      • Mustang1LT says:

        Wouldn’t it be a “flying fuck at a rolling donut”?
        :)

        • Patrick says:

          I believe the correct technical term is “Aeronautical intercourse on a rolling spherical pastry”

          • Mustang1LT says:

            Au contraire. A doughnut is round, not spherical.

            :)

            • Hondo says:

              Generally a torus vice round, to be precise – with some versions having an internal radius of zero (smile). However, Patrick’s suggested phrasing would be correct if telling someone to attempt aerial intercourse with a donut hole. (smile)

              You and your men doing OK, Mustang1LT?

              • Mustang1LT says:

                Oh yeah. Things are going good so far and we have enough work to keep us busy. Can’t complain. I’ll keep you all in the loop as time permits.

    • Just an Old Dog says:

      Being a pathological liar isn’t a mental disorder, it’s a charactor flaw.
      The shitbag is mentaly competent enough to dress himself, operate a motor vehicle and attend funerals.
      He can feel the heat.

      • AverageNCO says:

        “mentaly competent enough to dress himself”
        hmmmm, that part may be open for a bit of debate

      • OldSoldier54 says:

        “Being a pathological liar isn’t a mental disorder, it’s a charactor flaw.”

        Yep.

        • Green Thumb says:

          This turd has nothing that a hearty handshake and a cup of warm soup could not fix.

          • Mustang1LT says:

            Thumb,
            Why the sudden generosity? You’ve been handing out hearty handshakes and warm cups of soup a lot here lately. Am I missing something?

    • Geetwillickers says:

      So… by your reasoning jack blacker, we shouldn’t mess with pedophiles either, because they have mental problems too? How about psychopathic serial killers? We know they are not legit, so let’s just leave them alone and move on, right?

      When did mental problems become a reason to let someone get away with anti-social behavior? This guy isn’t just a loser in a bar trying to pick up chicks with tales of derring-do – he has shown up at a military funeral and is trying his best (which is sad to say…) to convince legit vets that he really is a SGM with a 02 Battalion Commander. Do you not see the problem here? If he will tell lies this outlandish, what other lies does he tell? If he has a mental disorder that causes him to go out in public this way, then he NEEDS attention, in order to get help. Us just “moving on and forgetting about it” just enables him to continue telling bigger and more dangerous falsehoods. Until he hurts himself or, more likely, someone else with his lies.

      Of course, SGM Sockpuppet – I am sure you would really like us to back off, wouldn’t you? Kind of uncomfortable to be confronted in a parking lot that way…

    • MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

      Ah … Wait one minute Ms. Jack.

      1. Valor Thieves typically suffer from mental illness and or a serious character flaw along with many other values issues.

      2. In this case, we assess a serious charater flaw because he was totally aware, he planned his day and he executed his plan. He not only stuck to his story, it got bigger as time advanced. He knew what he was going to do even if he was challenged … Even though his plan was flawed he rocked the lie and story like a true “Valor Thief” would.

      3. We are not going to move on and get over it. By the time we fully peel the onion back we will have expoxed everything about his past and current activities … And this exposure will shape his future!

      Any friggin’ questions?

  36. Richard says:

    Sometimes, you just watch in silent amazement, waiting to see what they will say next.

  37. Green Thumb says:

    This turd needs a hearty handshake and a cup of warm soup.

  38. ArmyATC says:

    Why’s the update private?

  39. Enigma4you says:

    Common guys this dude was the CSM of “Fucked up as a football bat school”

  40. George says:

    Damn. The video has been removed.

  41. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    We watched the clips today, all the Vets crowded around and we laughed our asses off.

    I got nothing to say on this … He has me beat. He is TOTALLY LEGIT … Gold Tuffus and all.

    Now: we need a FL resident to take this to Law Enforcement. A citizen complaint. FL license plate, incident happened in FL, therefore it is a FL issue. Now I know a guy who says he lives in FL … That won’t work, because he does not live there. Then there is the Gook Killer … He can do us all a solid and bring it LE.

    OH … Phil the Navy SEAL …

    Any way … FL resident make a complaint and we will find out very quickly who this POS is and possibly who his dentuffs is!

    • Geetwillickers says:

      Someone posted his (alleged) information over at USAWTF on FB – looked like a service record from a JiffyLube or some such place. Not sure if I want to link to it here though, since I don’t want to get any more lawers up in Jonn’s face. But if you wander over there you should be able to find it easily enough.

      Whether it is legit or not is another question.

      • Hondo says:

        Geetwillikers: can’t find that. Got a link?

        • Geetwillickers says:

          https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=809102682475461&set=p.809102682475461&type=1

          Go to the original post on USAWTFM on FB and then scroll through the comments. It is posted there.

          • AverageNCO says:

            I think that’s the link Bulldog1 at GOV was telling folks to ease up on. The name attached to the tag is an elderly woman. Of course that could indicate our fake SGM is still living with Mama…..which would surprise no one.

            • Geetwillickers says:

              That’s why I was hesitant to post it here.

              • rb325th says:

                The car information is for a female, though there is a male who lives at that adress associated with the vehicle. His name appears on the MiamiDade Prohibited Voters list as well. Information I found is that he is in his 30’s/38.
                Jonn has that informaion, and I would strongly agree there is no need to put the vehicle owners name and adress on here. Most likely an innocent victim in all of this as well.

                • AverageNCO says:

                  Yeah, I found that fellow associated with her address and I think he could be our fellow. There is a person with his same name with an arrest record out of Tallahassee for altering the plates on a car. Unfortunately no mugshot to compare. Someone with his same name also has a LinkedIn profile listing jobs in sanitation and groundskeeping. I think we’re getting very warm. If he is 38, that makes his comment about speding 26 years in combat so much more legit.

  42. AverageNCO says:

    So I guess we were all wrong. It seems Cornelius Davis was in Army. He has SCARS & DOGTAGS to prove it. I’m sure he would have beeen happy to provide an actual ID card as proof…but unfortunately they don’t sell those on the internet. I wonder if he got the scars from his job as a janitor, groundskeeper, or Jiffy Lube technician. I’m still skeptical if that is his actual name.
    http://www.wptv.com/news/region-c-palm-beach-county/video-goes-viral-of-man-in-army-uniform

    • rb325th says:

      I am wondering how the news crew tracked him down and got his name. The name associated with the car plate goes back to the name others have posted (and they are wrong on that being his name, as the name is that of a female from other public records)
      There are male members of that household though…

  43. Hack Stone says:

    Here is an observation/question that I will put out there for consideration. Quite a few of these posers are on the lower end of the socio-economic scale, and between this guy, MSgt Soupsandwich, the Round Ranger and Gy Driveway, they wouldn’t ‘t have enough money to buy a medium sized pizza. So where do they come up with money to purchase these uniforms, medals, and miscellaneous bling to carry out their fantasies. An Army dress jacket probably runs a few hundred bucks, they go batshit purchasing any and every medal out there, and they are willing to drive hundreds, if not thousands of miles so they live the lives they never earned. Meanwhile, their kids sit in squalor subsisting on macaroni, because some LtCol CAP poser stole their cheese.

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