Steve Osborne; phony Marine

| August 7, 2014

Steve Osborne

Scotty sends us his work on Steve Osborne who says he rocketed to E-7 in the Marine Corps in a mere 4 years – all because he knew someone, because that’s how it works, right? Its almost as if he doesn’t understand the way promotions happen, isn’t it? He was also wounded in Kuwait in 2002. Well;

Steve Osborne claims

Steve Osborne FOIA

So, he’s a cupcake smuggler, but not because he was wounded – it’s because he likes cupcakes and his steadily increasing number of chins.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (50)

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  1. ChipNASA says:

    Obligatory …
    “More chins in that photo than a Chinese phone book.” 😀

  2. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Photo Caption: Flies in love.

  3. AverageNCO says:

    So he did “some” homework trying to fabricate his story. There was an attack on US Marines in Kuwait in October 2002. However, it was not in Kuwait City. The attack occurred on Faylaka Island, about 20km off the coast.

  4. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Ooh, A USMC version of Blobfish McCheesemunch? He looks like he has NEVER met a jelly doughnut he didn’t like!!
    Wounded in Kuwait City in October 2002 during a briefing? He must have been hit by one HELL of a spitwad, pooor widdwe Smurf-lusting jelly-headed gumdrop-sniffing Sparkle Pony – NOT!! OH, and he has his pet Dependopottamus with him in a pic Scotty posted, maybe he’s the Round ranger’s USMC twin? Shit a maggot-laced, cinderblock-hard petrified MRE turd, this one’s a special grade of 24K STUPID!!

    • 10thMountainMan says:

      Fake USMC? Not even a scout-sniper team leader? Those cool shades just scream operator. He could do better…these phonies today do shame to our fallen MSGT Soup-Sandwich.

  5. Doc Savage says:

    6 years in the USMC?
    E-7 in four years?
    Combat wounded in Kuwait in ’02?
    The physical fitness level of Jabba the Hut?

    Sure….He’s legit

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Wounded in Kuwait in ’02, maybe he was a Mess Hall Rear Door Gunner being overwhelmed by underfed hungry “Joes”? I can picture him recollecting…

      “OH THE HORROR,… There were JUST TOO MANY,… I couldn’t even save the jelly doughnuts from them,… *SOB!*…”

      • Hondo says:

        He’s apparently claiming he’s the survivor of this incident. As far as I know, that’s the only hostile fire incident occurring in Kuwait in October 2002.

        It should also be easy enough to check.

        • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

          Sounds like something VERY easy for someone that knows what they’re doing. Like I said earlier, that pic of him and his Dependopottamus on Scotty’s page reminds me of the Round Ranger®™!

        • Doc Savage says:

          Oh yeah….I recall that.

          I was there ya see…the “battle of Honey Bun hill”.

          I was brutal I tell you…after it was over, the streets ran red with the guts of raspberry jam filled jelly donuts.

          And there he was…Steve “krispy Kreme slayer” Osborne…the lone survivor; he had a wild look in his eye…the remains of eclairs strewn about the DFAC…fingers stained with with cream filling.

          One of them Honey buns got in a luck shot…forced itself down his throat, but he survived it with tenacious chewing and a lack of a gag reflex.

          yessir…it was a dark day I can tell you.

          “ol Steve…he wasn’t quite the same after that; couldn’t look a little Debbie in the eye without suffering flashbacks.

          Dark day I tell ya….us old timers will never forget the mournful wailing of the survivors of the “Hostess Holocoust” of ‘ought two.

        • OAE CPO USN Ret says:

          I remember that incident happening. The cruiser I was stationed on was in the Persian Gulf at the time. We headed to the island at All Ahead Bendix. (For you land lubbers, look it up. For the Engineers, yeah I know Tico CG’s aren’t steam powered.)

          By the time we got close enough to the island things were under control so they cut us loose and sent us back to being the CVN’s plane guard.

        • ByrdMan says:

          I haven’t found the name of the wounded Marine yet, but his picture is here:

          http://www.cbsnews.com/news/al-qaeda-links-to-kuwait-attack/

          All accounts I’ve read show one Marine, LCpl Antonio J. Sledd, was killed and one unidentified Marine wounded.

          Still looking to see if I can find a name.

        • ByrdMan says:

          All accounts I’ve read show one Marine, LCpl Antonio J. Sledd, was killed and one unidentified Marine wounded.

          I haven’t found the name of the wounded Marine yet, but his picture is here:

          http://www.cbsnews.com/news/al-qaeda-links-to-kuwait-attack/

    • Fen says:

      From when I was in (91-97) I can see making E-5 in 4 years: 6 year contract makes you E-3 out of bootcamp (boy that was a bad call) and make E-4 a year later through meritorious mast… then another meritorious mast at around year 4 to make E-5.

      But after that? Sit back and cool your heels. No way are you being promoted to E-6 (much less E-7) without some serious time in grade.

    • Nicki says:

      Do they even make uniforms that huge? FUCK! He looks like he ate a couple of E7s!

      Speaking of USMC – A Marine Corps recruiter is coming to my house on Friday to talk my child into enlisting after school. Ought to be a fun conversation!

  6. Delilah T. says:

    Oh, come on, guys! You aren’t giving him enough credit!
    He was in high school at the same time he was in the USMC!
    Graduated in 2002, same time he left the Corpse!
    Whatta gogetter!

    Oops! I fell through one of the holes in this story, laughing so hard I couldn’t see where I was going. What an 4$$hole!

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      I wonder if this critter will bawl, threaten to sue, and try to intimidate us via some cheesy blog (pun intended)?

    • 2/17 Air Cav says:

      never heard of correspondence service? I hear it’s all the rage. You register with a service, you’re sent a packet of study material, and you test online after each chapter. The PT section is based on the honor system and was, I hear, written by some fellow named Walsh out Montana way. It’s not as easy as it sounds: Successful graduates are subject to virtual deployments and may be tied up on their pc or laptop for 6-8 hours at a time.

  7. ByrdMan says:

    Piece of shrapnel cut off his fourth chin while he was at briefing concerning how many trips were authorized through the grill line at the chow hall.

    He could have technically made SSgt in 4, but GySgt takes 6.

    Maybe it was an “honorary” promotion to make up for his lost chin.

  8. Combat Historian says:

    He’s the proverbial gunny jelly gyrene…

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Another poser has been branded as “The Human Blobfish”, Thus I dub this lardassed babbling shit-for-brains “THE HUMAN JELLYFISH”!!

  9. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    I just hope he/it is stupid enough to carry his/its charade on around some Real USMC Vets and he gets a good “Wall-to-Wall Counseling”!

  10. Dave Hardin says:

    Maybe he was in the elite Buffet Battalion. Is there something in the water in West Virginia? He looks legit to me, he seems to be forcing a lot of pizza down to deal with the horror of it all.

  11. FatCircles0311 says:

    What a piece of shit.

    I’d pay money to see a real gunny pound this fuckstick into a red mist.

  12. OldSoldier54 says:

    I was just wondering about the kinds of contortions he must have to go through to shave all those chins …

    He does look like Willie … kinda … the Wotund Wanger’s long lost brother from another mother?

    Or perhaps it’s just the same lack of dietary discipline that is provoking that deja vu thing?

  13. Just an Old Dog says:

    For all you guys who missed it, he also attend USC while he was in the Marines and got his degree in 2002 in Business Law

  14. Virtual Insanity says:

    Dickhead is still posting USMC stuff on his damn Facebook, as recently as 8 hours ago.

    Dora, AL is near Tuscaloosa. He’s probably a Bama fan, too.

  15. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Hmmmm, Blobfish Junior?

  16. Enigma4you says:

    I knew a Master Chief EM who was over the ica school in 1987 that made it in just under 12 years. He was a push button e-4 and damned near aced the e-5 and e-6 exams . He was 30 years old in 87

  17. Molonloopey says:

    Why is it always “classified” or “Top secret”? Surely they can get more creative? Like, it got lost on the Obamacare website! That could happen…lol

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Ya mean like the hunter/killer/interception mission he singlehandedly carried out in his Unit’s chow hall? He bravely intercepted EVERY leftover dessert and jellied doughnut, and without any regard for his personal safety, he shielded every one of his imaginary fellow Marines by absorbing every calorie in that dessert and pastry buffet with his digestive tract and belly!!

      • Doc Savage says:

        And he still carries the “scar” from that battle with the jelly donuts…

        all 300 lbs of it…

  18. Green Thumb says:

    Just a fat turd.

    Plain and simple.