Johannes St Clair De Guise; phony US General in Canada

| July 1, 2015

Johannes St Clair De Guise

Apparently, we’re gaining some reputation in the northern provinces. Someone sent us this fellow, Johannes St Clair De Guise of Winnipeg, who claims that he’s a US Special Forces Major General. Well, first of all, he’s not listed in the flag officer registry, at least by that name. He’s really a pornographer who lured in two sheriff’s officers to make a video of their encounter with an actress, but according to the National Personnel Records Center, he’s not in US armed forces;

Johannes St Clair De Guise FOIA

I don’t think that there are too many guys with a Combat Infantryman Badge and a Distinguished Flying Cross (no hes not on the list of recipients of the DFC, either). Yes, he has the ultimate phony decoration – the sirens’ song of fakers – the 3rd award of the CIB. It’s becoming more popular than the SEALs’ Trident.

Yeah, I know, this guy is a slam dunk, but his current ladyfriend is using his non-existent military career to attract teaching positions, according to the fellow who tipped us.

Here she is;

Johannes St Clair De Guise1

I’m guessing that he’s pretending to be a US general because the penalties for pretending to be a Canadian soldiers are pretty stiff.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (65)

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  1. Bobo says:

    I would have thought that he was in a Monty Python play wearing that costume. They don’t even try anymore.

  2. Stacy0311 says:

    Okay, I’ll ask the question: what’s up with the red underlay on the shoulder knots? Does he think he’s a Wehrmacht GeneralMajor?
    the big red cross on his cover? Combat chaplain maybe?
    The multiple fried eggs on his jacket? Soviet military swap meet?
    Verdict-football bat.

  3. HMCS(FMF) ret. says:

    Wow… another one from the Great White North.

    TAKE OFF, YOU HOSER!

  4. MrBill says:

    “De Guise” – best name ever for a phony.

    guise
    ɡīz/
    noun
    an external form, appearance, or manner of presentation, typically concealing the true nature of something.
    “he visited in the guise of an inspector”

  5. OldSarge57 says:

    I’m guessing he has that costume because it doesn’t resemble an official uniform. He can claim he is playing a role and all the bling are props. If someone just happens to believe his B.S., well…

    It used to drive me nuts watching tv shows with military uniforms that were hosed up. Then when I was working for a company that supplied vehicles during the filming of “Army Wives” in Charleston, someone told me that they had to be that way so they couldn’t be confused with the real deal.

    Regardless, he’s still a moron.

    • Just an Old Dog says:

      “Then when I was working for a company that supplied vehicles during the filming of “Army Wives” in Charleston, someone told me that they had to be that way so they couldn’t be confused with the real deal.”

      A very popular myth, but there never has been such a code or law.

  6. OWB says:

    Expect him to break out in a Gilbert & Sullivan aria at any moment.

    He does get extra points for having the best poser/pornographer name ever. And perhaps the most jacked up costume ever. Yeah, that film maker thing is the icing on the cake.

    • Hondo says:

      Well, he’s claiming to be SF, have the DFC, and also to be a 3x CIB recipient.

      Doesn’t all that make him the very model of a modern Major General? (smile)

      • FasterThanFastjack says:

        Does he have information vegetable, animal, and mineral?

      • Hayabusa says:

        I’ve seen a couple of references to the DFC, but I don’t see one on his uniform.

        He does appear to be claiming the Distinguished Service Cross, along with the Silver Star, Purple Heart and other awards. His claim of the DSC is pretty easy to debunk, as there have only been 14 of them awarded during the War on Terror.

        As to the 3rd award CIB, the fact that fakers seem to be drawn to this award (that no one has received since Vietnam) just indicates how lazy and stupid most of them really are.

        • Hondo says:

          Click on either photo of the jerk and look at the miniature medal’s he’s sporting. Top row of miniatures appears to be the Army DSC, Army DSM, and SS w/OLC.

          • Hayabusa says:

            Yep, that’s the point I was making above. Jonn made reference to the Distinguished Flying Cross, which I don’t see.

            • Hondo says:

              My bad – I misread your comment above as saying “DSC” vice DFC. Just double-checked, and I don’t see a DFC either.

      • rgr1480 says:

        AH! You called forth the spirit of Gilbert and Sullivan ?????

        Now I must repost my earlier version:

        I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
        I’ve information: unethical, fraudical, and criminal,
        I know the kings of fraud, and I read their fantasies hysterical
        From Androsky to McManus, in order scatological;
        I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters pathological,
        I understand their ramblings, both the simple and fanatical,
        About our actions I’m teeming with a lot o’ news,
        With many cheerful facts about the tightening of the noose.

        I’m very good at intel and different machines;
        I know the military missions — including the Marines:
        In short, to bust the most unethical, fraudical, and criminal,
        I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

        I know their mythic “history”, to be blunt, it’s such a crock.
        I laugh hard at their excuses, they’ve the intellect of a rock,
        I quote in modern prose all the wrongs of braggadocios ,
        These rascals know no shame! A peculiar bunch of Bolos;
        I can tell undoubted Heroes from the fakers and pretenders,
        I know the croaking chorus of the deceptive counterfeiters.
        Then I can read a 214 despatched from NARA way before ,
        And decipher all the truth from that infernal attention-whore.

        Then I can write so clearly using proper English form,
        And tell you ev’ry detail of a jumped-up uniform:
        In short, to bust the most unethical, fraudical, and criminal,
        I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

        In fact, when I know what is meant by “fraud” and “valor stolen”,
        When I can tell at sight a poser and a felon,
        When such affairs as death threats and surprises I’m more wary at,
        And when I know precisely what is meant by “washed-up water rat”.
        When I have learnt what progress has been made in their skulduggery,
        When I know more of Law than a “30-year catastrophe”,
        In short, when I’ve a smattering of elemental gallantry —
        You’ll say a better Major-General has never sat a Harley.

        For my military knowledge, though I’m plucky and adventury,
        Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
        But still, in matters most-unethical, fraudical, and criminal,
        I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

  7. Ex-PH2 says:

    He’s not just a poser, he also does prun?

    A goat of many colors, he is. Does his GF know how he makes his cash? If not, someone should tell her.

    • Just an Old Dog says:

      To top it off the Prun Actress who goes by the name of Oscean was his wife/business partner at he time.

      • Jarhead says:

        Easy now ExPH2, I’m his pimp and nobody else needs to know how much he brings in every day. Replacement knee pads get expensive you know. BTW, his GF may not be a looker, but she can take a punch!

  8. Old Trooper says:

    I can’t even get irritated by Captain Stuebing here. He looks like an extra for a Pride Parade float.

  9. Atkron says:

    Now we have Stolen Valor Dependapotamus running around?

    • Silentium Est Aureum says:

      Someone call Max over at Terminal Lance.

    • Stacy0311 says:

      Stop Dependa bashing!!
      Somebody’s going to call your command.
      And get an ARCOM out of it……

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Waitaminnit! If his Dependapottamus is riding on the coattail of his con game, couldn’t that make her criminally liable in one way or another? ANY Dependapottami participating in SV scams needs to be shamed as well.
      As for the candyassed thumbsucking bedwetting booger-eating snotweasel of a Swamp Donkey pretending to be a General, TAKE OFF, HOSER!! He’s one laughable cream puff of a unicorn taint-sniffing, glittery gargoyle gonad-ogling Sparkle Pony. ENJOY your newfound internet fame, o sniveling snotweasel!

      • uh1av8r says:

        So true. The dependapottamus rocks the lie just like the valor thief. I get sick of listening to them tell me about their husband being attached to SF and all of his combat injuries. I told one at the Vet center that I didn’t know 5th Group needed generator repairmen on combat missions in Kuwait (where her husband served). She just looked at me and kept on blabbing a load of BS that a PVT1 would know is a crock.

  10. B Woodman says:

    She looks to be the very model of a dependapotamus.

    • OWB says:

      If there was a tourney for dependapotamae, this one definitely would be a top seed. Good for her – finding the fame and glory she so obviously craves.

  11. Atkron says:

    Nothing says legit like a big ol’ Red Cross on your cover.

  12. Green Thumb says:

    Phildo’s Uncle.

    • Green Thumb says:

      Plus I like the woman using the fake credentials to work teaching contracts.

      Very “Phildoesque”.

      She could be his aunt as well.

      • Green Thumb says:

        I just read the poronograoher component.

        What a scumbag.

        I wonder what else he has filmed? Probably episodes of “Phildoman and Fuckboy”.

        Shitbag.

  13. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    I was trying to think of something witty, but in reality all I’ve got today is a simple, “You Fucking Clown” I hope they hang you with this crap.

  14. Skippy says:

    HOLY CRAP ! ! ! !
    They Keep Coming out LMAO !!!!!!!

  15. danny says:

    He must be bff with Wave Waverly, even served in the same sub.

  16. Poetrooper says:

    I must say I’m surprised that Canadian lefties haven’t filed suit to have that cross removed from military property.

  17. Jarhead says:

    If my memory of the French language is yet intact, the name at the top of this story translated in English reads “Joe Shit The Rag Man, In Disguise”. Most who went through USMC boot camp will remember Joe, friend of every drill instructor.

  18. Jarhead says:

    Now I remember the dude. Once while accidentally drifting into Weird Porno, there was a site which featured police officers who enjoyed threesomes with women sporting a lot of facial hair and bow ties. Yep, I think he was dressed up as a member of a RSVP team. They followed in SWAT teams.

  19. Jarhead says:

    The Dilbert mo’ forker. If you are going to show up to have your picture made, at least buy your lady a dress with matching shoulder straps! Fashion police no like Wal Mart dresses.

  20. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    I wonder how much younger his Dependopottamus is? Maybe she’s a gold-digger thinking she’s hitched up for a nice fre ride? Does anyone know what those badges are for? He looks like he’s doing a halfassed impersonation of a North Korean General!

  21. Twist says:

    He looks like he should be on a Hotels.com commercial.

  22. Valkyrie says:

    They both like their bling, don’t they?

    It’s been so long since I’ve gotten to be “bad”, I do so hope she decides to drop by.

  23. Valkyrie says:

    Oh and since my Facebook was hacked last year, I no longer have Facebook. So can someone screen shot and post anything of “noteworthy”?

  24. Sparks says:

    Should I say it? Yea I think so. SHITBAG!

  25. Geezer says:

    I agree that this moron looks like he’s from central casting.
    But take issue with your initial comment. I served with the 1st Cav in 1968 as a chopper pilot and had the honor of serving with 2 DFC recipients that also had CIB’s. In both cases they were grunts on 1st tours and got CIB’s. Returned stateside for OCS & flight school and received DFC’s on 2d tour.
    Also the DFC registry is woefully incomplete as the DFC Society will verify. I received the DFC on Feb 5, 1968 and am not listed.