Edward Rackette; the phony sailor

| July 4, 2015

Edward Rackette

The folks at Military Phonies send us their work on this Edward (Ed) Rackette fellow who Doug Sterner tells us has been outed before as a phony. I could list all of the things on that uniform that are incorrect, the stuff he didn’t earn, but it’s easier to just say that he earned none of it.

He says that he spent 28 years in the Navy;

Edward Rackette claims

That’s close, he spent four whole months in service to the country;

Edward Rackette FOIA

Edward Rackette Assignments

At his Facebook page, he claims that now he’s an undercover CIA agent, because that’s the best way to maintain your cover, put it on Facebook where no one will think to look. Where do we find such men?

Edward Rackette (5)

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (83)

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  1. LIRight says:

    I shake my head so often after reading these stories about posers that I’m getting a permanent rattle in my brain.

    Some would say (dear wife) that it’s an improvement!

  2. Mr Wolf says:

    No way he’s agency. They’d never take him without a Trident on that uniform.

  3. sj says:

    I think you’re wrong Jonn. If I’m seeing it right, he has T W O NDSM’s. Totally legit. That picture will set MCPO’s recovery back.

    OT: See that someone took MCPO’s bait that he threw out there on his post, big time. Over.

    • MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

      The new iPhones are even better, we have been told no way can they be hacked. And you guys know me better than anyone, I love Apple, iPhones, Macketoshes and all that other stuff.

      Hehe!

    • Valkyrie says:

      Where?

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Stick to Blackberry. Nobody cares about Blackberry. They think it’s jam or something.

      He may be sportin’ 2 gedunk medals, but I don’t so no good conduct medal connected to all them there gold hash marks. He just is NOT trying hard enough.

    • Sparks says:

      sj…You just can’t get 2 NDSM’s anywhere. I agree, totally legit.

  4. Old Trooper says:

    Jeebus!!! This guy is as f-ed up as an 8 mission kamikaze!

    • Silentium Est Aureum says:

      You owe me a new keyboard, and now the cat won’t come near me.

    • Mike Kozlowski says:

      ….Actually, there were quite a few kamikaze who flew several sorties – the original rules were that they weren’t supposed to waste their lives or aircraft, so if they couldn’t find anything, they were supposed to come back. Of course, as things got worse that went by the wayside, and they were told to sit down, shut up, and go fly into something.

      And after a moment of reflection, maybe pointing this out wasn’t a good idea. Now we’ll have seekrit squrrils who went on multiple ‘suicide missions’…

      Mike

      • Old Trooper says:

        Yeah, I heard about that a while ago.

        Hence my analysis of an 8 mission kamikaze; couldn’t find a target in 8 missions i.e. that’s f-ed up.

  5. sj says:

    Wonder what he studied at MIT?

  6. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    “Now hear this, the Letters of the Day (LOD) are …”

    1. L
    2. E
    3. G
    4. I
    5. T

    “That is all”.

  7. Ex-PH2 says:

    Awwwww, isn’t he just too cute playing Poopyeye the Snail-or-man????

  8. John "Faker 6" Giduck says:

    I like this guy and his style. I need to up my game as these guys get better.

    sincerely

    John “Faker 6” Giduck

  9. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    He’s more fuxxed up than a gay black transsexual neonazi in the KKK!

    • Blaster says:

      if it is a “gay transsexual” doesn’t that mean that it was right to begin with?

      If you are a transsexual and then gay, you had it right the first time.

      Right?

      Or am I the only one that gets confused on all of this confussion?

      • CAs6 says:

        I dont think you are even close to being the only one completely confused by this. My state’s “first transsexual lesbian couple” (quoted from the campaign literature of the one running for city council) lives on my block. Two dudes who think they are chicks, who both are apparently still attracted to women, but who still look very much like men. There is no way that will ever make sense.

        • Ex-PH2 says:

          It will never make sense to anyone who has any sense, but it does make for an interesting metaphor.

  10. NavyCWORet says:

    What is that crap above his ESWS? Looks like a Midshipman’s insignia.

    Some of these guys don’t even try anymore.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      That’s a WAVES hat pin, Chief.

      He’s got 6 gold hash marks, but I don’t see a good conduct medal there. Somebody must have been very, very bad.

      • TheCloser says:

        PH2- Looks like a GC to the left of the Combat Action Ribbon and below the NDSM.

        Hard to be sure when ribbons are in random order.

  11. Jon The Mechanic says:

    When I saw this on Facebook, I thought it was our batshit crazy non CPO.
    Then I thought to myself that he looks smart enough to make sure he has gas in a plane and realized it was another poser.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      He’s the cloned twin of the nonCPO. Neither of them got the brains in the family.

    • Silentium Est Aureum says:

      What’s the Vegas over/under on Bernath shopping his face over this guy?

      Soup fucking sandwiches, all of em.

  12. HMCS(FMF) ret. says:

    He be one of them thar “sekrit nekkid combat swimmirs” that no one knows about!

  13. HMC RET says:

    I call legit based on the cocky way he wears his cover. SARC I’ve never known of anyone who GLADLY gave their life. Maybe a better choice would be ‘courageously.’

  14. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Well, he does have the stare. No, not that one, the one that says, “Meet me in the stall. I have a shopping bag you can stand in.”

  15. TheCloser says:

    A fake ET!! It’s about time.

    So he makes it through boot camp but doesn’t get assigned to ET ‘A’ school. Discharged within a month of reporting to Norfolk. I’m guessing he couldn’t get a security clearance.

    I get a headache trying to decipher a rack when the ribbons are out of order, but he appears to be wearing a GWOT ribbon and a Navy Reserve Meritorious Service ribbon. He must be legit.

    • TheCloser says:

      He’s also wearing an Expeditionary Warfare pin (below his ribbons), which was first awarded in 2006.

    • Silentium Est Aureum says:

      He was on board four DAYS before they shipped his ass to TPU to await discharge. That’s not even long enough to find your rack or the chow line.

      He did something bad. Something VERY bad. Like steal Jobu’s rum bad. (Thanks, Hondo.)

    • Hack Stone says:

      I don’t know how the Navy works, but in my beloved Marine Corps, if someone fails at their initial MOS, they get shipped over to another MOS, that may or may not be in the same occupation field. It’s all defendant upon the needs of the Marine Corps. Back in the day when I went to Radio Repair Course, those that failed that course would cross the grinder to B Company to become a Comm Center Operator (if they were lucky), but if they didn’t need Comm Center Operators, they had a career ahead of them as a field wireman. If this guy did not slide over to an alternate MOS school, chances are he got busted for some stupid shit.

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        The Navy back in them there Olden Times had two kinds of sailors: designated strikers who went to “A” School out of boot camp, and undesignated E-2s (or in his case, might have been E-1) who were put into the general work force. If you didn’t qualify for “A” School (he didn’t), you went for on the job training (OJT) instead, and the Navy decided what you were going to do and/or be.

        This dim bulb didn’t even last long enough to do anything than find the “EXIT” sign.

        • MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

          They are still called “Strikers”.

          Well, I think so!

          Maybe the word “Striker” has been deemed offensive or dorogeratory or something like that!

          • Ex-PH2 says:

            Oh, geeze, Louise, I’m offended that someone is offended at the idea of using a word to describe something.

            I posted ship’s info below. This dork must have been a serious mistake on his father’s part.

          • Silentium Est Aureum says:

            On submarines, nonquals can’t be called nubs, either.

            Come to think of it, they can’t be called nonqual, either.

            Oh, how I weep.

      • Geodkyt says:

        Hells Bells, they didn’t even want him as a paint chipping deck ape!

        That’s ate up. Did they catch him modelling lingerie in the wardroom after midnight? Was he beating off into the coffee pot?

        SOMETHING made them say, “Nope, in less than four days, we’ve already figured out he’s a total write-off, but he hasn’t earned a court martial.”

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        If we could just find some of his old shipmates from Back In the Day….

        • Hack Stone says:

          It would be virtually impossible to find someone that could recall a Sailor that was in a command for literally days from decades ago, unless that Sailor did something noteworthy that would merit being on their radar, such as having “great sticky buns”, not that there is anything wrong with that (as of this administration).

  16. Azygos says:

    My friend says he is legit. He remembers him from the battle of Root Canal.

  17. JimV says:

    He obviously has a mental health problem.

    A friend of mine has a 50-year-old son who claims to have been a Navy Seal. He also thinks their are people living in the attic, tunnels under the house, and aliens who visit him from time to time.

  18. bobble says:

    I can’t decide which name is funnier based what the seem to do/have for a hobby – Des Guise or Rackette.

    • Just an Old Dog says:

      Here’s a bit of trivia here about the words “racket” and “Racketeering”.
      In the late 1800s and early 1900s pre-mafia gangs ran a lot of businesses in New York. They had a lot of interest or outright ran many bars, brothels and dance halls.
      They would hold dances and parties in these establishments, using gang members on the street to hustle up customers from different areas by selling tickets ( cover charges).
      The guys were like carnival Barkers.. “Hey guys and gals, come on over to O’Malley’s in the five points.. its gonna be a heckuva a party,, we are going to raise a racket”,,,
      Some of the admision tickets were real, some were fake. Cops starting calling the gang members who drummed up business or sold admission “Racketeers”.

  19. JohnnyMac says:

    This guy makes Hogan’s Goat look like a precision tool.

  20. Jarhead says:

    When will one of us wake up and smell the roses? Obviously there is a TREMENDOUS opportunity for a business model, ripe with opportunity to offer franchises. Picture this: “Are you really the man you COULD have been? Did you feel cheated when you were unable to walk around your home town loaded with medals, looking like a Subway sandwich with ALL the trimmings? Do you want to be able to score with the chicks who dig a man in uniform? Look no further. Come visit Posers Are Us. Not only will we perfectly tailor a uniform of your choice to fit your now big ass, but we also carry a copyrighted line of bullshit stories you’ll have a hard time believing yourself! Fear not my great hero, we have it all on CD’s ready for you to memorize. Pick your war, or even better yet we’ll make one up for you that nobody will ever remember or be able to challenge. ESPECIALLY those a-holes from TAH. In no time at all you can dazzle the hell out of anyone gullible enough to be mesmerized by your rehearsed story so convincing that you yourself will be fucking stupefied with your logical-sounding heroics. Now for medals, this week only we are having a two for one sale. By the time you leave with your arms full, hell, George Patton will have looked like a piker to your exploits! Try the new and improved Pastel Heart; you can sell a lot of stories with that and nothing else on your sleeve. We have a full selection of the coveted brass stars, Medal of Humor, the always telling Killer Kombat Action Jackson Ribbon, known to all as the KAR. This alone will get you many free drinks in any Veteran’s organization. Maybe you are approaching 70, let’s just say. Have we got your trip!!!! Let’s see, 70 minus 20, that can equal 50 years of grateful service to your country. Right there goes 12 1/2 hash marks, talk about making the old ladies squeal and wet their Depends in a nursing home! We can put six hash marks on each arm and the half hash mark right in the center of your chest. What a proud man you will be! We also have the new and improved spandex uniforms if your ass no longer fits into regular clothes. So come on down to POSERS Are Us and be the man you deserve to be. Who the hell is going to question you walking down the street looking like a parrot with so many different colored ribbons and badges on? All outfits sold with the standard one year “Guarantee To Impress” limited warranty. The ONLY disclaimer is that you must NEVER get in eyesight of the TAH crowd. Do that and the outfit tends to fade. We have no control over that happening. Happy Military Career all you Shouldabens. Celebrate the 4th by slipping into a parade, and also wear your history to church. You finally gonna be the baaaadddaaas who has earned the respect you deserve. Stop in or call 1-800-Eat-Shit today!! Don’t put it off. Put It ON!!!!!

  21. John S. says:

    I see the Village People is missing their idiot.

  22. Sparks says:

    Hey folks, be careful. He’s a “company man” ya know. Retired CIA Undercover. That says a lot. You don’t want the black SUVs showing up at your house do you? Take it easy on this guy. The uniform is just his CIA cover story in case he’s captured while undercover. They tell them to F’up their uniforms on purpose to throw off enemy agents. So they look like poser ass holes. It’s all there in the CIA, Craft Skills Handbook. But you can’t see the Handbook because it is an EXTREMELY HIGHLY CLASSIFIED, U.S. Federal, for eyes only, document! Well, that is, unless you pay $9.99 to the Chinese for a hacked copy.

  23. AW1Ed says:

    As an actual retired First Class Petty Officer, all I can say is something to paraphrase Proud, “Fuck this twinkle toed sparkle pony poser up the ass with a pineapple and then slap a shaped charge on the root end, and light it off. That’ll blow his mind!”
    There, I feel better now.

    • Sparks says:

      Word Sir…Word

      • AW1Ed says:

        Thanks, Sparks! And every time I hear the word “Sir” I look around to see who walked into the room.:-)

        • Twist says:

          I’m the same way. I can’t count how many times this week I had to restrain myself jumping down a Soldiers throat for calling me sir. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m a civilian and no longer a Sergeant First Class.

          • sj says:

            As a freshly minted 2LT from TSO’s college, I was sent to the 82nd for 3 months before going to jump school – something unusual in that era. Tradition there for saluting is “All the Way, Sir”. The Troopers yanked my chain by saying: “All the….oh, Good Morning, Sir.” Loved it.

            My name appeared on EVERY manifest (in position one) for those 3 months with a line through it and annotated: “LEG”. I got back by volunteering for something (pulling static lines?) when my troopers were jumping. They’d jokingly reach out to me on their exit and assure me that the AF chute I was wearing would work.

            GEEZE OUT

          • sj says:

            Twist: Black Hats at Jump School and Senior NCO’s at other places would say, when called “Sir”: “I’m not a Sir! I work for my pay!”

            Reminds me of another geeze: SFC Jones…a huge, scary Black Hat at jump school greeted our platoon of officers (mostly West Pointers). We were all at hard attention. His greeting was intimidating…I remember it and that was in ’63: “What a fine fine group of Army officers we have here! I am in awe. I’m going to do something that I have never done before! You fine fine officers may call me by my first name! Yes! My first name! My first name is S E R G E A N T!!! Not Sarge! SERGEANT! Now, if you fine fine officers would drop and give me 10, it would be appreciated!” And it went down hill from there for 3 weeks.

            Love’d him. He dropped for push ups the 11 Air Assault Div CG and staff who were going through jump school at the same time. He thought they were run drop outs and started a very crude 60’s era Jody chant that disparaged their manhood as we went by. He saw the 2 stars (as the MG and a bunch of COL’s dropped) and he just said: “pick up the pace”! Geeze out!

            • “Ain’t no use in looking back.
              Jody’s got your Cadillac.

              Ain’t no use in feeling blue.
              Jody’s got your girlfriend, too!

              Ain’t no use in going home.
              Jody’s got your girl, and gone.”

              • Jarhead says:

                JRM….Is you be talkin’ Joe De Grinder? My old GF got hooked on milk shakes, Big Macs, and any kind of sweets. Once she started tipping the scales in the 350+ lb. range, ‘fore I knowed it, ol’ back door Jody dun talked enough shit to her that she rund off with him. Last I knew he had her workin’ de streets and changed her name to Show’nuff Lovliness.

            • Charlie Six says:

              The CG of the 11th Air Assault Division was MG Harry Kinnard. He made two combat jumps with the 1-501st PIR in WWII and commanded the Airborne Test Board at Bragg after the war. He was a master parachutist prior to taking command of the Division. Why was he going through jump school in 1963?

    • Airdale USN says:

      Thanks for that, me as a AD1(AW) I fell better you said it first!! He’s just a bottom feeder!!!

    • Kinda old ET1 says:

      As an actual retired ET1, this guy can go fuck himself sideways with a herd of rabid hedgehogs while blowing a grizzly bear.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Looks to me like the USS Wright was a ship with a fairly squared-away crew roster.

      http://www.mygeorgiamountains.com/usswright/default.htm

      Either this ratsitter couldn’t (or didn’t want to) handle sea duty, or he completely crapped out on some simple assignment like running the buffer. I’ve seen that a couple of times, and those people didn’t last long.

  24. Airdale USN says:

    Let’s see, a Navy Cross, Bronze Star, P/H,GWOT, SWASM, 1 Marine Good Conduct medal, 1 Navy Good Conduct medal, chevrons are a different color then the crow, medals/ribbons on the wrong side, yeah I believe him, almost forgot about the Security badge that’s on the wrong side.

  25. sapper3307 says:

    Is this guy Bernastys ex or next roommate?

  26. jonp says:

    Why is a high speed secret squirrel sailer type posing in front of the Himalayas?

  27. Hack Stone says:

    He must spend a lot of money on tin foil hats, his FaceBook page is All Government Conspiracy, All Of The Time.

    • Mike W says:

      I scrolled through his FB page. It takes a bit, but scroll down to April 13 2013 and look at the comic he has posted there. I don’t know how to do a screen grab of that effing gem. This skinner looking bastard is a real piece of work.

  28. Ex-PH2 says:

    I have an unanswered question to ask: what do you guys have against porcupines, pineapples and hedgehogs? Did you get quilled or something?

    I would rather see this very bad public joke, this mullion-eyed snorkel bubble, this insignificant sand grain in an anthill get a hand job with an equine blistering agent and a pre-op flush with a solution of liquid tiger balm.

    Please, let’s not punish fruit or wildlife!
    Thank you.

  29. Green Thumb says:

    “Where do we find such men?”

    Easy.

    All-Points Logistics.

  30. MAC(SW) says:

    I’m willing to bet my lunch money that the picture of him in his blues was taken aboard a cruise ship on one of their “Formal Nights”.

  31. Jordan Rott says:

    How many purple hearts do you really need to put on?