Joe Hemingway; Desert One phony

| July 21, 2015

hemingway photo

The folks at Military Phonies send us their work on this guy, Joe Hemingway who claims that he served for eight years in “the Rangers”. He also claims that he earned a Purple Heart. Hemingway claims that he earned his Purple Heart at the failed Iran embassy hostage rescue on April 24th, 1980, commonly known as Desert One;

Hemingway claims2

Hemingway claims1

Hemingway claims

Well, he’s the first one we’ve had from that particular mission. Eight were killed and five were injured. Unfortunately for Mr. Hemingway, his name isn’t among the wounded;

* Airman 1st Class William V. Tootle, 21 from Fort Walton Beach, FL
* Air Force Staff Sgt Joseph B. Beyers III, 37, of Charleston, SC
* Marine Maj Leslie B. Petty, 34, of Jacksonville, NC
* Air Force 1st Lt Jeffrey B. Harrison, 26 from Warron, OH
* Marine Major Jame H. Schaefer Jr., 36, of Los Angeles, CA

He was in the Army at the time, but he was at Fort Campbell, KY, and they didn’t need a Specialist Four wheeled vehicle mechanic to go along with them to Tehran.

Joe Hemingway FOIA

hemingway

Category: Feel Good Stories

Comments (77)

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  1. nbcguy54ACTUAL says:

    Seems to have been a lack of enemy action at Desert One as well. Hard to get a PH if there are no bad guys around…

    • Hondo says:

      Yeah, there is that pesky little “as the result of enemy action” requirement for the Purple Heart. Accidents not caused by enemy action don’t count.

      • Thunderstixx says:

        Didn’t John Ketchup get a PH for getting a sliver in his ass from the C-Ration toilet paper or something?

        • Thunderstixx says:

          BTW, John Ketchup served in Vietnam… Just in case you didn’t know…

        • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

          It’s been said by others that on one occasion John “Lurch” ketchup picked up a piece of grenade shrapnel and jammed it into his forearm, then later claimed it happened in combat, thus getting him one of his Purple Hearts that he SAID he threw over the White House fence, then no, his buddy did it, then OH NO, HE threw one of his Buddies’ medals…

          • Hondo says:

            That account is plausible, but has never been confirmed. It’s a different PH incident from the one Thunderstixx referenced.

            That one is also rather shaky IMO.

        • Hondo says:

          If I recall correctly, that happened while Kerry and a couple of guys from his boat crew were blowing up an enemy “rice cache” with a grenade. He was a bit too close when the grenade went off and got either a bit of shrapnel or some grains of rice embedded in his butt.

          IMO that one was at best marginal as hell, and IMO likely undeserved. Were it my call, I’d not have approved it.

  2. Combat Historian says:

    Way to go joe; this is the first poser I have heard who claimed to be at Desert One; I guess there’s a first for everything…

  3. CLAW131 says:

    The posers are really digging deep into the bottom of their haversacks to come up with such a obscure reason to justify their non-NDSM recipient status.

    But,Hey, no Good Conduct Medal after nearly 5 1/2 years service? Pffftt. Truly a stellar performer.

    • sj says:

      Claw! You’re poaching my stuff! But since Bloom County and Opus are back, I’m switching to THBBFT!

    • CLAW131 says:

      Oops,Sorry, not 5 1/2 years, a little less than 5 years total.

      Not enough coffee yet this morning.

  4. Climb to Glory says:

    Funny how these phonies want to talk about their military service until they are asked a couple questions. Then they “don’t want to relive this.”

    • 2/17 Air Cav says:

      Yeah, it’s a recurring theme isn’t it? “I don’t want to talk about it” and “it” is whatever it is they just talked about. Of course, what they are saying is, “I will share my lies with you but that’s all. I will answer no questions about my lies, lest you correctly conclude that I am a liar.”

  5. Hondo says:

    Per Wikipedia, US Army elements involved in Operation Eagle Claw were:

    SFOD-D
    75th Rgr Regiment
    39th SF Det
    235th Sig Det (at Wadi Qena, Egypt)

    As far as I know, none of those units were based at Fort Campbell, KY, in April 1980, and I’m pretty sure none had elements there.

    1/75th Rgr Bn was the 75th element that provided troops for Eagle Claw; it was based at either Hunter AAF or Stewart in 1980 (pretty sure they’d moved to Hunter by then, but I could be wrong). So forget that “Ranger” claim; it’s BS – this guy wasn’t stationed at either Hunter or Stewart in 1980. Besides, Ranger units don’t tend to have too many wheeled vehicle mechanics – especially mechanics w/o even jump wings. (smile)

    Further, the 1/75 Rgr troops appear to have flown to Desert One onboard one or more of the mission’s EC-130s – not on the operation’s RH-53 helicopters. Since none of the RH-53s that made it to Desert One returned, obviously they also returned on the EC-130s. So I’m kinda wondering how this guy got injured on a helicopter during the operation. Oops.

    SFOD-D was based at Bragg in 1980. Scratch that possibility for this jerk.

    SF Det 39 was based in Europe in 1980. That doesn’t work for this guy, either – because he wasn’t in Europe in 1980.

    The only possibility left is that he went with the 235th Sig Det. They might have needed a mechanic – but at the time they were based at Ft Monmouth, NJ, vice Fort Campbell (where this tool was stationed in 1980). And given the 235th’s strategic mission – TACSATCOM for contingency support – I hardly think they’d have grabbed some random Joe from the 101st to come along on a mission like Eagle Claw. They’d have sent one of their own.

    Regardless, best as I can tell 235th troops also didn’t deploy into Iran during Eagle Claw. They appear to have provided TACSATCOM support from the operation’s staging base at Wadi Abu Shihat (AKA Wadi Qena), Egypt. So even if this tool tries to claim he was “attached for support”, that doesn’t put him on one of the USMC birds that flew the mission.

    Lying ass.

    • nbcguy54ACTUAL says:

      YOU are Hondo.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      *To a cadence tune*

      I WANNA BE LIKE MR. HONDO…

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      So, you’re telling me there’s a chance.

      • Hondo says:

        About the same chance as the sun rising in the west tomorrow.

        His claims of being a “Ranger” at “Desert One” and of having received a Purple Heart for being “injured on one of the helicopters” are pure bullsh!t.

        At best he might have been detailed to support the mission as an augmentee to one of the support units. In that case, he certainly never deployed with the assault force.

        Even that’s incredibly unlikely. Ask yourself: if you were supporting a mission like Eagle Claw and needed a mechanic, would you take an unknown Joe Tentpeg from another post – or the best mechanic from your own unit?

        This guy’s story has more holes in it than a screen door.

        • CLAW131 says:

          Well, at least he only claimed a PH from Eagle Claw.

          Now if he had claimed a Driver’s and Mechanic’s Badge for the same action, I would be all over his shit in a heartbeat.

          So be forewarned all you posers out there.I will protect the integrity of the D&M Badge to my dying breath and will be your worst nightmare should you ever smear it’s good name.

    • Skippy says:

      Hondo, Hondo….. I am Hondo… 🙂

  6. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    With all those photos captured from web cam, no doubt there are a few of him naked, wearin’ boots and holding a rubber chicken!

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Maybe that’s on his dating website profile?

    • Hondo says:

      (insert obligatory joke about choking chicken here)

      (smile)

    • Roger in Republic says:

      I’m supersized there is no photo of him on riding with a veterans MC club. Don’t all of these liars ride with MC clubs so the can wear all of their bling. That, and it is the only way they can put something hot between their legs.

  7. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    An interesting contrast between the pics, in one he looks like he’s smiling and waving while he’s giving head to a pushbroom, in another he’s got the fake stare and scowl you see on some “Trailer Court Bubba/Airsoft Commando” sitting in a bookstore wearing military camo clothing while reading either “Soldier of Fortune” or “Guns and Ammo” thinking he looks like a badass while doing it, and in the third he looks like a Yoko Ono wannabe with a mustache rehearsing for his next gay pride gig!!

    • John S. says:

      That scowl could be due to either constipation or confusion as to whether or not he left the stove on.

  8. Thunderstixx says:

    He does have a couple of nice Fender Bass guitars though.
    I’ve known a lot of bass players in my days as a rock star, most of them have visions of grandeur…

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Visions of grandeur?

      You mean, they really want to play the upright bass in the Philharmonic?

      I knew it! I won that bet!

  9. Bobo says:

    Give him a break. He’s just trying to honor one of his family members with a parallel tale; “The Old Man and the FOIA”.

  10. CLAW131 says:

    I did notice from the FOIA that his second active duty enlistment ended at the 21 month mark.

    Did he get a three month drop off of a two year enlistment? Or did something else happen that can’t be revealed? Too much B-Girl action in Clarksville? E-4 Mafia action in Hopkinsville? Or maybe just an all around Joe Shit the Ragman in the performance of his duties.

    I also see that no award of the highly coveted and sought after Air Assault Badge is noted. I thought everyone who was ever assigned to the 101st during that period went through AA school. But, maybe he was assigned to a Fort Campbell Tenant Garrison unit and not the 101, or his outfit knew that sending him to AA school was just a waste of a training slot.

  11. Green Thumb says:

    This maggot is an older version of that Connely guy that graced TAH a while back.

    Scumbag.

  12. Skippy says:

    Ok Five words..
    Shit
    Bag
    With
    Turd
    Sauce

  13. JohnE says:

    All this and he is a Bruins fan…

  14. thebesig says:

    Being an Expert Badge Auto-Rifle Veteran wasn’t enough for this ding bat. 🙄

    Then we have the classing lines:

    “I do not talk about it”

    “I do not want to relive this”

    Yup, it’s so secret, or, they can’t talk about it, that they drop info about it in the first place. Of course, we know why “it’s secret,” or “they can’t talk about it or relive it.” They didn’t experience it, and making those disclaimers saves them from having to work hard piling more BS to their original ones that even non veterans would start smelling their BS. 🙄

    • CLAW131 says:

      Speaking of the Expert Badge w/Auto Rifle clasp, in all the years I spent in the Army I was never able to figure out the difference between the Rifle clasp and the Auto Rifle clasp.

      Whenever I see Auto Rifle my mind immediately goes back to the BAR my father carried in WWII.

      Maybe there is a former Armorer or Infantry type out there can explain the difference in the two clasps.

      Another of life’s mysteries to be pondered.

      • Combat Historian says:

        Rifle clasp earned by qualifying with an M16 firing in semi-auto without bipod…

        Auto-Rifle clasp earned by qualifying with an M16 firing in the squad automatic weapon role using bipod and firing in auto-mode. The M16 used as SAW auto-rifle in a fire team/squad ended when the Army adopted the M249 as its SAW weapon in the mid-1908s…

        • Combat Historian says:

          1980s, not 1908s…

          • OC says:

            Mine, from 1971, says “auto – rifle” but I don’t recall shooting it with a bipod in full auto.
            ‘Course I don’t recall what I had for supper last night…..

            OC

        • CLAW131 says:

          OK, got it. Thanks for the explanation. I’m sure the guys in the motor pool had to use the M16 that way when no M60 Pig was available.

          Those fire teams/death squads of 63B wheeled vehicle mechanics must have really put the fear of God into the hearts of all those Rat Bastard Commies during the Cold War. Especially when they had to go on an O Dark Thirty alert while snuggled up next to the 3rd Armored Division Headquarters flagpole in Frankfurt.

          • CLAW131 says:

            After thinking about that for a little while, I can see some problems with using the M16 in a SAW mode. I actually never heard of utilizing the M16 like that, but of course I was always in outfits that had M60’s and men strong enough to hump them.

            No hot barrel swap-out, jamming due to overheating, having to carry a bunch more magazines than usual, etc.

            But he could have qualified as an Auto Rifle gunner during his time fighting the Commies at Fort Dix or some overzealous 71L personnel clerk tried to get fancy and posted it to his records.

            Either way, using the M16 for a M60/M249 substitute sounds like something a Retired On Active Duty TRADOC Sergeant Major or a Special Assistant to the Commander non Infantry O-6 would come up with.

            • Combat Historian says:

              Agreed that it was a lousy idea, for all the reasons you stated. I was Infantry when I was enlisted, but I was an 11C mortar maggot, so I did not have to do the 11 Bravo thing like being a SAW man; but I gathered from talking/listening to 11 Bravos that this was not the greatest idea in the world…

      • Jarhead says:

        In Nam, there was only one type of clasp…..gongerina. Available to all, regardless of MOS.

  15. Fjardeson says:

    Eagle
    Claw
    No
    Enemy
    Presence

    Douche.

  16. Whiskey Tango says:

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_pMiO1965kR0/TFMkATCTcXI/AAAAAAAAArs/YcoiuggcfeA/s1600/TheFallenOfDesertOne.bmp

    THE FALLEN OF ‘DESERT ONE’:
    * Major Richard L. Bakke, USAF, born 13 May 1948
    * Sergeant John D. Harvey, USMC, born 30 May 1958
    * Corporal George N. Holmes, Jr., USMC, born 20 July 1957
    * Staff Sergeant Dewey L. Johnson, USMC, born 26 May 1948
    * Major Harold L. Lewis Jr., USAF, born 26 February 1945
    * Technical Sergeant Joel C. Mayo, USAF, born 26 October 1945
    * Major Lyn D. McIntosh, USAF, born 11 October 1946
    * Captain Charles T. McMillan, USAF, born October 4, 1951

  17. Daisy Cutter says:

    “I do not want to relive this”

    The bad news is that is sounds like the PTSD is kicking in.

    The good news is that Mr. Hemingway was never there to begin with so DOESN’T have to relive it.

    Problem solved. NEXT!

  18. Blaster says:

    I am quite confident that Signal Soldiers are the most likely to be criminals and/ or get into trouble.

    It appears that mechanics are the ones most likely to be posers( it seems like we see a lot of them here)

    Disclaimer: I say this in jest. I mean no disrespect to honorable Soldiers and vets that are/were mechanics.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Having been assigned to a gun Truck on my first ME Tour, I can say I saw and worked with some awesome damned dedicated and hardworking Mechanics that would stomp that shittyassed lying Swamp Donkey turd into oblivion faster than a Dutch Rudder Gang member can run its mouth and say something extremely STUPID, ENJOY your newfound Internet fame, Joe Hemingway the candyassed lying slug snot-brained POS of an inbred buck-toothed Swamp Donkey!

      • Blaster says:

        you are right. I was joking about the mechanics. I was the maintenance officer for the company on my last deployment and would have gone anywhere with those mechanics. Great bunch of Soldiers. We even ran the Army 10 Miler shadow run together at KAF.

        However, I was totally, 100% honest about the Signal Soldiers. They are a bunch of article 15s looking for a place to happen.

        • uh1av8r says:

          You are 100% percent correct on those Signal Bitches. Always screening our work computers for porn to report to the boss, but who got caught jamming porn on the sharedrive ? The same Signal Bitches who trying to jam everyone else up. And if a round landed within 5 miles they were screaming for their CABs.

          • CLAW131 says:

            OK, up to date now with the newer catch phrases. Thank You. Old farts like me need to be brought up to speed on occasion.

            Let’s see what we’ve learned:

            Year 1985 they were Wire Dogs and Commo Pukes with TA-312’s, RT-524’s, RC-292’s and WD-1.

            Year 2015 they are Signal Bitches with computer screenings and porn jammed sharedrives.

            Advances in technology. Ain’t it great?

  19. HMCS (FMF) ret. says:

    Joe is one of them thar sekrit skirrl, real deal, rump ridin’ ranger attached to the anal buttsekks warriors!

  20. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Joe Hemingway the Desert One Phony can only be a Junior pivot man if he decides to join The Dutch Rudder Gang, any promotion from there will have to come from Daniel A. Bernath, Chief Pivot Man of the organization!

  21. Jordan Rott says:

    I don’t wanto talk about it but I’ll start to talk about it but I don’t wanto talk about it.

  22. Jarhead says:

    Seen on Craig’s List: Bull shit war stories for sale. I talk, you listen. Don’t bother me with no stinkin’ questions. Background music available if needed.