Michael Porter; NJ arrests first valor thief

| November 12, 2015

Michael+Porter1

Bobo sends us a link to NBC Philadelphia which reports that just weeks after New Jersey’s Stolen Valor Act was signed into law by Governor Christie, Galloway Township Police arrested their first test case, Michael Porter who identified himself as a military policeman.

Porter, in a uniform with his name on it and “Airborne” patches, had handcuffs and a portable radio capable of picking police and fire dispatch at the time of his arrest, said police.

Police charged the 25-year-old Galloway man with impersonating a military member and stolen valor.

A judge sent Porter to county jail in lieu of $5,000 bail.

As a reminder of what Porter faces;

Violators face a mandatory minimum fine of $1,000 and a three- to five-year prison term….

For some reason, New Jersey seems to have a lot of these guys.

New Jersey Valor thieves

UPDATE: The police say that they’ve encountered him before, his girlfriend says that “he knows too much to be a fraud” because he knows how to bend your finger like pretzel;

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (36)

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  1. AndyFMF says:

    If he needs a goo lawyer,……never mind. I think he was disbarred.

  2. Fastjack says:

    I wonder if they make an extreme colorectal training school badge, cause this guy’ll need it once he’s out.

  3. CLAW says:

    Well, I wonder if they picked his lying ass up on the way to or on the way back from the Golden Corral.

    Five will get you ten that exactly what was going on.

    Raiding the free buffet.

    • 2/17 Air Cav says:

      Exactly. I wonder,too. And 5 gets you 10 that the LEO who snagged him is a Vet. Hell, every 11 November, they could fill a jailhouse with these guys. It would be like sitting two blocks from a saloon on Friday, any time after midnight.

      • MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

        Just my thought … LEO’s salivating for the first collar!

        One other question, “what exit?”.

        • 2/17 Air Cav says:

          MCPO: Exit 12 (Carteret/ Rahway Exit). Make right after you get off the exit, you will be on
          Roosevelt Avenue in Carteret. Take Roosevelt Avenue all the way down until you
          cannot go any further. There will be a traffic light make a left on Rahway Avenue; East
          Jersey State Prison will be on the right hand side.

  4. HMCS (FMF) ret. says:

    Hope he likes cockmeat sammiches, tube steak and anal dilation therapy sessions…

  5. MSGRetired says:

    Since MP’s now have status under LEOSA they should have charged him with impersonating a Police Officer as well ..

    Hope he likes Raw Tube Steak .

  6. Skippy says:

    Holy Crap 🙂 Look At the EYES!!!!!!!!!!
    he needs to get off the Meth..
    Bahahahaha !!!!! 🙂
    🙂

    • Perry Gaskill says:

      I noticed that, and was thinking it was something he got on sale at Sociopaths R Us.

      • Ncat says:

        I’m going to go with his mother was also his aunt or maybe his dad was also grandpa (not that he isn’t also a meth addict mind you these things certainly aren’t mutually exclusive). But I mean look at that mug!

  7. Hack Stone says:

    Don’t bust on Jersey. Some of us actually served. If you run the numbers, I bet Florida beats Jersey per capita on posers, especially in the Ft. Meyers and Merritt Island areas.

  8. B Woodman says:

    Do I detect an Electric Banana Leaf (25th Dimension, , , ,errrr. . . 25th Infantry Division) patch on this boy?
    That’s it — Hang him by his heels and beat him like a cheap pinata. No mercy!

  9. L. Taylor says:

    I have to assume most of these guys tried to serve and were rejected.

    At least they are not quitters. They are determined to wear the uniform even in the face of failure and rejection.

    It would be easier to feel more pity if so many of them were not using their “military” status to take advantage of people and con people out of goods and services.

    The manipulative con artists give the merely pathetic and insane stolen valor guys a (more) bad name.

    • Flagwaver says:

      Some, perhaps tried and were not accepted. Few are those who did serve and decided to embellish their service. Most are either Boot Camp failures/quitters or those who did not serve and just want the accolades.

      Someone did a psychology paper on the subject a couple years ago and posted it for peer review. It was quite interesting and there was a definite correlation between Stolen Valor and other illegal activity.

    • desert says:

      I really doubt ANY of these slugs tried to join up!

    • David says:

      more likely they do the bullshit “I woulda served but” routine. Kinda like Hillary is doing now…. it would be such a relief to hear someone say “well, I should have served but thought something else was more important” and quit lying about it. I guarantee you around the time of Vietnam and post-Vietnam, damn near NOBODY was saying “I wanted to sign up but had flat feet” – more likely they were saying “godDAMN, my flat feet are my best friend.”

    • Poetrooper says:

      Lars, are you for once being reasonably reasonable or are you more likely just trying to set up an excuse for Hillary as to why she lied about coming under sniper fire?

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      OOOOHHH Pinky-poofy-rudy-poo, I bet you want to see every Reception Battallion and BCT/AIT reject get a free set of uniforms and a group hug before they’re thrown out while everyone sings “Kum-ba-yah”, you sound like part of the limp-wristed candyassed “Everyone gets a trophy” crowd, o lollipop-up-the-ass wussnoramus CHILD!

  10. Old 1SG, US Army (Retired) says:

    In lieu of a fine and/or jail sentence they need to send the guy to something along the lines of Charlie’s Chicken Farm (CCF – Correctional Custody Facility) or a state/local run boot camp for about six months!

    What a dipstick!

  11. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    I love his mug shot:

    There is continuous loop playing in his head …

    “You are crazy”.
    “No you am not”.
    “Yes I am”.
    “No I am, you are”.

    Starts all over …

    “You are crazy …

  12. CLAW says:

    OK, I’m convinced he is legit.

    His dependapotamus says he can bend fingers like a pretzel, so he’s good to go at this station.

    Bubba and Thor may not go for the finger bending routine though. But he does have a purdy mouth, so it’s 50–50 whether he makes it to bail without having a conjugal visit.

    • HMCS (FMF) ret. says:

      Girlfriend doesn’t sound like the sharpest tool in the tool shed… looks like they are a match made in heaven.

  13. Ex-PH2 says:

    You sure he’s from Jersey? He doesn’t look Italian to me.

  14. LoAnn says:

    His girlfriend says that “he knows too much to be a fraud” because he knows how to bend your finger like pretzel

    Wow, I guess I will know for sure that if I start dating a guy claiming to be a Military police officer and he can bend a finger like a pretzel, then he must be telling the truth. smh

  15. Bmarkos says:

    Sorry lurking for years…. but not many 95B/31B can sport the 4/25 combat patch. I know every single one from OIF 06-08 and he’s not one. F* him to hell, turd.

  16. Green Thumb says:

    A truly “phildoesque” clown.

    The “Phildo” runs deep in this one…

  17. C2Show says:

    Wow Via Sikahema is a news broadcaster. Dude was an awesome kick returner for the Eagles.

    In other news, that kid should be max time, who the fuck drives around in normal day life dressed like a MP.

    • USAF Sparkchaser says:

      They caught him walking down the road , i’m thinking between him and his brainiac girlfriend; lets call her “pretzel”, they don’t have enough brain-cells between them to have a decent job and afford a car. ( but enough to spend money on all his faker gear)

  18. Combat Historian says:

    Mikey = Retarded Douchebag
    Girlfriend = Miss Gullible Fuck

  19. NavyCWORet says:

    “Thursday night, and the Big Story on Action news is….”

    Really a slow news night.

  20. Willy Pete says:

    The girlfriend said that he can bend a finger like a pretzel. The first question that came into my mind was, who’s finger was he bending, hers? If he’s an abusive boyfriend, she might be too afraid to contradict him.

    Maybe it’s just me, but I think the police should look into that, as well. These posers often are committing more than one crime. And I personally have no sympathy for abusers of any kind.

  21. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    That boy is SO SKINNY I bet an Army Basic Training Graduate could stick a feather up his ass and use him for a dart!!