Colonel Dan Sulzinger; phony SF, Ranger officer

| June 8, 2016

Dan Sulzinger

The folks at Green Beret Posers Exposed sent us their work on this fellow, Daniel Sulzinger who has claimed that he was a Special Forces officer in Vietnam.

DAN SULZINGER - COL - 5TH SFG - 1

Of course, there’s a vest and tattoos involved, because what stank-ass hippie doesn’t have a DD214 tattooed to their body?

Col Dan

Sulzinger full length

He also claims a second award of the Combat Infantryman Badge and a Combat Action Badge – that’s one combatin’ MFer.

Well, the truth is a little different and doesn’t lend itself well to body illustrations. He was a finance clerk and didn’t enlist until the Vietnam War was over and in the history books;

Daniel Sulzinger FOIA

He did rocket to the rank of Private E-2 in his six years of service. It looks like he did a tour of Korea which is close to Vietnam on my map, so maybe he was just confused.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (114)

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  1. Oldav8or says:

    Korea is as close to Vietnam on a map as O-6 is to E-2 on the keyboard! Asshat!

  2. OC says:

    SIX phuqing years and E-2??????
    That is weapons grade dip shittery.

    • Hondo says:

      Yep. In the Army during that time frame, getting discharged as an E2 after nearly 6 years service would almost certainly have required (1) multiple company-grade Article 15s; (2) a field-grade Article 15 near the end of his term of service; or (3) a reduction as part of the sentence due to a court-martial conviction.

      Since the discharge occurred before he completed 6 years service, I’m also guessing the discharge isn’t exactly a pretty one. If I was to guess, I’d guess General, possibly UOTH.

      • HMCS(FMF) ret. says:

        I was thinking the same thing… probably a problem child that was given the boot.

        • BigJohn says:

          What’s “bob wire”?
          Never heard of that.

          • Skippy says:

            I’m guessing your comment was meant for me. My Dad was a full bird colonel in the Air Force. When he had issues with a few of his guys he would say there is always a bob wire hotel waiting for yeh. My uncle who did a few trips to SE Asia had the same saying also. In other words his ass did some time in lockdown or up ??

      • Skippy says:

        Hondo. my uncle that served during that time frame thinks he was doing some time at
        Fort Myers, he is stating they had a bob wire hotel in the AO at the time because he had to do a escort to there. they had a lost soul doing some time

      • DVet says:

        I’ll be the first to admit I was a troubled young Jar Head. I had to Captain’s Masts and still finished 4 years as a Cpl. Maybe he was just a really slow learner. At least he made it to Colonel after his discharge. That’s impressive.

  3. Skippy says:

    Long Hair, Tats, and a leather Vest. he has to be legit 🙂
    BHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

  4. Dapandico says:

    He surfed with Charlie.

  5. Hondo says:

    Looks like someone needs to explain to NPRC the Vietnam-era rules regarding the NDSM. If this guy didn’t begin active duty until 16 June 1975, I’m pretty sure he’s not authorized the NDSM.

    Unless someone can point me at a later document, Enclosure 3, para 14.c.(1)(b) of DoDM 1348.33-V2 (Change 5, 5/15/2015), says active duty between 16 July 1975 and 27 February 1981 does NOT qualify an individual for award of the NDSM.

    Please disregard – error due to eye malfunction or brain cramp on my part.

    • Bill R. says:

      He was awarded the Korea Defense Service Medal, not the NDSM. Different award.

      • Hondo says:

        You are correct. That was either an optical malfunction or a brain cramp on my part.

        Thanks for the correction.

    • Claw says:

      No, Wait, What? Looks like it’s time to call in the big dogs.

      Based on PV9 Gainey’s Base Active Service Date (BASD) of 17 Jun 75 and his eligibility period interpretation, this turd, who was inducted one day before PV9 Gainey, is fully eligible to have a Vietnam Era NDSM.

      Plus, this turd was discharged as a PV2 just like Killer Killam. This sounds like a new project for PV9 Gainey. He needs to get on the horn ASAP and contact the 3rd SEAC to get this all straightened out and award this turd his rightfully earned NDSM.

      PV9 Gainey wears one for that period, as well as the 3rd SEAC has a third award of the NDSM listed on his Wikipedia entry, although the 3rd SEAC didn’t enter service until 1982.

      Oh, and I almost forgot, SGM Carrot Top also wears a third NDSM, even though she is only 49 years old and came on active duty in the early 80’s.

      NDSM envy/embellishment amongst active duty and retired E-9″s. Who da thunk it?

  6. HMCS(FMF) ret. says:

    Dude looks like Ward Churchill’s brother… maybe he’s a member of the Hekawi Tribe? Maybe he goes by the Name of Chief Shitting Bullshit or Chief Two-Dogs Fucking?

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      No. He’s channeling Sam Elliott, Wade (Zed’s dad from DBDCartoon) and Saruman/Christopher Lee, and he’s wearing a kilt with a sporran. Sulzinger is not a Highland clan name, so unless he’s got a direct Scots connection, that’s baloney.

  7. ex-OS2 says:

    Cocksucker.

    • Dave Hardin says:

      Succinct, descriptive, poignant, I admire your verbose nature.

      • ex-OS2 says:

        These posers really piss me off. I still can’t wrap my brain around Stolen Valor and why so many do it.

        In my mind, they are all cocksuckers and need to pay the consequences for their actions. I fully support the cause at TAH.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Something that was dredged from the shallow end of the gene pool.

  8. Wrench Monkey says:

    What’s the minimum waiting period until I can wear my OIF leather vest? I’m so excited I can smell that cow hide already.

  9. Kilo3/7 says:

    I’m blaming his embellishments on that sweet combat man-skirt overloading his brain with testosterone.

  10. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    He’s heavy on the jewelry and appears to have nail polish on one finger. E-2 over six isn’t easy to do. That’s what, one grade for 1/2 dozen years. And what’s with the 6 years? Kind of odd if all AD.

  11. Combat Historian says:

    I once actually met and chatted with a retired USMC Colonel and Vietnam vet who had become a long-haired hippy-type peace activist…

    On the other hand, dannyboi here is just a lying phony fucktard who got shitcanned as a PV2…

  12. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    Wow PV-2 eh? That’s close to a colonel in the SF i guess…if you’re a lying shit bag embarrassed by what you actually did versus what you dreamed about doing.

    With that hair and skirt I guess he could use the ladies room at Target without repercussion.

  13. Green Thumb says:

    What a fucking tool.

    Maybe he can cast a few spells to inflict some damage.

    I feel bad for the beer.

  14. David says:

    Nearly over? Last troops were out April 30, he enlisted June 16. DoD says the end of the Vietnam era was in May ’75. He missed it cleanly.

    Hondo – seems to me a company grade Article 15 could bust a private back, too. This exemplar of military recumtude probaby floated between PV2 and PFC more than once.

    • Hondo says:

      I’d have to double-check, but as I recall company grade 15s could only take 1 stripe at a time for E4 and below; field grade 15s could take them all at once from an E4.

      I guess it’s possible he could have been a terminal PFC type and stepped on himself at around 5 1/2 years. But getting discharged early kinda argues against that – my recollection is that normally 1 co-grade 15 during that era wouldn’t cause a troop to get tossed. That usually took multiple co-grade 15s (pattern of misbehavior) or a serious single incident.

      • Just An Old Dog says:

        It could be different times/ different services but IIRC the Rule of thumb was that the commander who held the ART 15/NJP had to have promotion Authority to that grade in order to reduce you from it.
        Company Office hours USUALLY meant you would have a Capt or 1stLt holding the Office Hours. They did not have Promotion Authority, hence could not reduce you.
        Some of the support type units, although called a Company, were much larger, and had a field grade officer in Command.
        They could take a stripe.

        • Hondo says:

          True, JAOD. However, the way the Army handles enlisted promotions is apparently different from the USMC.

          I’m pretty sure what I’m about to say hasn’t changed since the late 1970s/early 1980s. At that time, in the Army a Company-level commander (typically O3 or promotable O2) had promotion authority to grades E2, E3, and E4. They could therefore reduce soldiers at the grade of E4, E3, and E2 – but only one stripe at a time, as I recall.

          Army battalion and brigade commanders had (and have today, I’m pretty sure) promotion authority to E5 and E6. Decentralized promotion boards are held, typically held at battalion level, with numbers actually promoted based on centrally-determined “cutoff scores” that vary by MOS. An Army battalion commander can thus reduce E5s and E6s one stripe at at time – and can reduce E4s and below all the way to E1.

          I’m reasonably sure that O4 commanders (typically Aviation and Medical/Dental units) at company level had field-grade promotion and reduction authority, but it’s been long enough that I’d have to look that one up to be sure.

          • Chris says:

            Pretty sure you are right on that last part. My company commander at AIT was an O-4, and I seem to recall the drill sergeants warning us that he could do a field-grade article 15 if we mucked up.

          • Just An Old Dog says:

            Hondo,
            Yes it’s different, or it was.
            USMC PFC and LCpl (E-2 and E-3) are promoted due to Time in Grade if they are recommended by supervisers and Company Commander. The first field grade commander in the Marines Chain of Command has the authority to promote them, and signs the promotion warrant, however the ceremony itself is usually done at company level. Corporals and Sergeants (E-4 and E-5) are promoted based on Time in Grade and “Cutting Scores” in their respective MOS. Headquarters Marine Corps determines these based on projected needs. Cutting Scores are computed using Time in Grade, Time in Service, PFT score, Rifle Score, Correspondence Courses and Average Proficiency and Conduct Marks. A Marine may also get bonus points for MSG, Redruiting or DI duty. As with the other Promotions the First Field Grade Officer in the The Command will approve the promotion and sign the Warrants.
            SSgt (E-6) and above promotions are selected once a year at HQMC promotion Board based on the Marines Overall Record and Fitness reports. These Marines are promoted throughout the year according to seniority. HQMC is the promotion Authority and the Warrants are signed by the Commandant of the Marine Corps.
            Field Grade Officers may meritoriously promote a certain % of Marines in their command to ranks up to Sgt E-5.
            Special B billets such as DI, Recruiting and Embassy Duty may also promote a % of their Marines to E-6 amd E-7 (SSgt and GySgt).
            As far as reduction a Field Grade Art 15 may reduce E-5s and Below one rank. A SSgt (E-6) and above must be reduced by Court Martial.

            • Just An Old Dog says:

              To add to that an Administrative Seperation Board may reduce someone as part of the process.

      • Martinjmpr says:

        75-81 would have been at the peak (or nadir, if you prefer) of the “Hollow Army” era. I think in this period if you were a warm body and hadn’t yet been convicted of a felony they’d keep you in.

        I did OSUT at Fort Benning starting in 1980 so I can attest to just how desperate the army was for recruits then. This guy probably screwed up a lot before his unit finally had enough of him.

        • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

          Getting thrown out in that era screams “MEGA-DICKSTEPPER”.

  15. Mayhem says:

    I have to wonder just how fuckin hard do you have to work at “not getting promoted” to ETS as an E-2 with six years. I mean, come on back then they threw E-4 rank at you as soon as you made the TIS or TIG requirement! I bet a lot of the people who knew him as child who made predictions about his worthiness probably came true!

  16. nbcguy54ACTUAL says:

    Looks like a phony Allman Brother too.

    Next thing you know he’ll say he was married to Cher…

  17. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    “Col. Sulzinger served in the Military in various Global and Domestic Leadership positions.” I know what a domestic leadership position is: senior housekeeper. I’m having trouble with the global leadership position he lays claim to. Is there a planetary government?

  18. Brown Neck Gaitor says:

    Come on guys, we are wrong again.

    Linked in, has the real deal for Col Dan.

    Active Duty and Reserve Officer – Colonel (Retired)
    US Army
    June 1975 – December 1999 (24 years 7 months)
    Various Military Occupations over 24+ years of service.

  19. Sparks says:

    So here we go…again. A second CIB award. Really Dan Shitslinger! Really!!! All that time in the Army and you have no idea what it is to EARN the CIB, much less twice. So go fuck yourself and stop chewing your own hair. If it were up to me those tats would get you the M/C choice of cutting them off with a dull knife or burning them off with a blow torch. Also, stop giving blow jobs in truck stop men’s rooms.

    • 20thEB67 says:

      Sparks,

      “Dan Shitslinger”, indeed. Good one!

      I hate this fucking clown. Eats shit and barks at the moon, no doubt.

  20. Semper Idem says:

    When I first looked at the fugazi Colonel’s picture, the first thing I thought was…this clown:

    ::SPEW ALERT!::

    http://thisainthell.us/blog/?p=27204

    Tell me you don’t see a resemblance. G’wan and try to get me to believe that. You’d have better luck convincing me that Al Sharpton endorses the Ku Klux Klan.

  21. Mark Lauer says:

    Well, Korea is SORTA like Vietnam. They both have Asian looking guys, and were divided into North and South at one time. So, that’s practically being a Vietnam Veteran without all that nasty, smelly, icky combat stuff.

  22. SFC D says:

    Will the real Christopher Lee please stand up

  23. Tony180a says:

    What a fucking turd!!

  24. Daisy Cutter says:

    Is that a kilt?

  25. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    No, DC, his name is Sulzinger and he’s from California. So, it’s just a skirt.

  26. 3E9 says:

    Someone call the Doobie Brothers and tell them Tom Johnston has apparently lost his mind and thinks he’s a retired Colonel. Dipshit.

  27. Claw says:

    My money is on this turd thinking he’s Wade Garrett (Sam Elliott’s character from Road House) and is looking for a little “cleaner” action in the back room of the saloon.

  28. OldManchu says:

    Did anyone besides me see the boobie slippage on the right side of the photograph? About even with his shoulder?

  29. Bill M says:

    Douchebag.

  30. Bobo says:

    Any idea what RAD after Ft. Meyer means, and why there are two locations for his place of separation?

    • Hondo says:

      Bobo: my guess is that “RAD” is supposed to mean “Released from Active Duty” and the individual preparing the FOIA reply didn’t know that REFRAD was the correct acronym. That would make sense if he was REFRAD at Fort Myer, then later formally discharged by the 1981-equivalent of AR-PERSCOM (believe that was RC-PAC at the time, but not sure).

  31. Green Thumb says:

    Someone should let The Dog and his crew know that there is a “Dog Imposter” running around.

    If you do, get low, because the bean bags will be a flying….

  32. USAFRetired says:

    The Korean Defense Service Medal didn’t come about until 2002. Did NPRC go back and retroactively put them in people’s records? If that’s the case maybe I should do a FOIA on myself to see if my mid 80s short tour has gotten updated to reflect it.

    • Hondo says:

      Good question. Might depend on how the USAF administratively handles award of campaign medals.

      The Army doesn’t issue orders awarding campaign and service medals, so a records review would likely show eligibility for one that’s been made retroactive (like the KDSM). It did in this tool’s case here.

      However, if the USAF issues orders or otherwise formally documents award of campaign/service medals, it might be a different story. You might have to request your records be updated to add it.

      • Sandman says:

        I had to submit a copy of my 214 up to an address off of a website for the retro award, and after it was verified I served in Korea, they mailed the award to me. I’m still waiting on the 215 to show the award in my records.

        • Hondo says:

          Pretty sure the medal issue and records update are handled by two different offices, Sandman. I wouldn’t assume that requesting the medal would automatically cause your OMPF to be updated. You might want to contact HRC to check – and you may well have to request your records be corrected through the ABCMR to get it added.

          I was lucky – that all sorted out before I retired from the USAR, so mine got added through normal USAR records update procedures.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Mine was added to my DD214 when I de-mobed from A-stan in 2006 and I was part of 2ID from 1992-93, it was retroactively awarded.

  33. NR Pax says:

    Fabio is not aging well.

  34. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    Sperm snorter.

  35. Silentium Est Aureum says:

    Why do I suddenly have a loop of Free Ride playing in my head?

  36. 1610desig says:

    Rob zombie (without the income)

  37. Old 1SG, US Army (retired) says:

    OMG… I’m laughing so f*ing hard reading everyone’s comments that I can’t read the serious ones about how he managed to leave after 6 years as a PV2!

    Col Scuzzlinger, aka PV2 Shirtbird, aka Patrick Simmons (Doobie Brother), and my favorite Sam Elliott meets ZZ Top!!

    He probably drinks grape soda and smokes Kool cigarettes!

  38. Jim Busby says:

    Does combat with your G/F or wife qualify you for a CIB or a CAB?

  39. MrBill says:

    Looks like he’s cleaned up his Facebook page; he’s now just “Dan Sulzinger”. No more Colonel.

  40. Jonn Lilyea says:

    Dan wrote us last night and said that the picture of him in the poser vest and skirt was taken 25 years ago while he was an undercover cop. Yes, that’s his excuse. But that picture wasn’t taken more than ten years ago – The CAB is only 11 years old. He also claims those aren’t his records, but we got them based on his driver license information in Florida.

    Dan, this isn’t our first rodeo.

    • IDC SARC says:

      That’s just testament to the fact that these poser douchegnards have no understanding of the face value of the awards/badges they plaster to themselves, let alone the day in, day out efforts and intangibles physically and emotionally that are below the surface that are far more significant, which the awardees carry for life.

      • Hondo says:

        It’s also a testament to the fact that while this guy is indeed a tool . . . he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.

        • IDC SARC says:

          Well thankfully, an intelligent person with well developed facets of character would likely not put time and effort into such deceitful endeavors and instead focus on developing his own strengths.

    • ChipNASA says:

      Gee, His Linked In has nothing about Law Enforcement. About 19 years 3 months too much.
      * Still rocking the lie*
      Active Duty and Reserve
      US Army
      January 1975 – July 1999 (24 years 7 months)

    • Green Thumb says:

      Ghandalf the Gay.

    • Green Thumb says:

      More like “Undercover Manhole Inspector”.

      I noticed a bunch of shirtless dudes in that picture.

  41. IDC SARC says:

    “Dan wrote us last night and said that the picture of him in the poser vest and skirt was taken 25 years ago while he was an undercover cop.”

    The HALO wings weren’t awarded until 1994 either, if I remember correctly

  42. Jonn Lilyea says:

    He sent me about a thousand-word missive, none of which I understand, except the part where he still claims that he was a colonel, he was in 5th group in Vietnam and the reason none of that shows in his records is because the clerk who typed his DD214 didn’t believe him either.

    • Green Thumb says:

      What a turd.

      This clown is delusional or he has built up his entire life on his bs claims and has no choice but to hang on.

      Loser.

  43. Starbux says:

    He looks like that fucking wizard from lord of the rings. I think he’s been smoking a little too much of that peace pipe.