Jim Calhoun; phony CWO3 still

| April 13, 2017 | 129 Comments

Back in July 2014, we wrote about an Army Times article which was about this fellow, Jim Calhoun. It seems that CW2 Calhoun had written a letter to the Army Times about how he was still rolling up his sleeves and that no one could make him stop. Here’s that article;

Well, readers were so upset at Calhoun that Army Times thought it was necessary to look into Calhoun’s background and a few days later they wrote about him again in this article; Army Times July 21 2014

The administrative elimination board found Calhoun wrongly wore the rank of Chief Warrant Officer 3, and unspecified “unauthorized” badges and ribbons, according to the documentation, which included Calhoun’s discharge papers, a personnel memorandum authorizing his separation and the findings and recommendations of the board.

The board also found he submitted a falsified DD 214 in 2008 before returning to service and went AWOL nine months later; he had falsified a mobilization order as well.

The board also found Calhoun failed a qualification course for the UH-60 Black Hawk, according to Army records. He was a UH-1 pilot.

It cleared him of allegations of conduct unbecoming an officer and failure to maintain a valid security clearance.

Days after the article was published, Army Human Resources Command spokesman Bill Costello said Calhoun never achieved the rank of chief warrant 3, never served in the SOF community and was not serving in any component. He confirmed Calhoun’s CW2 rank and April separation date and declined to comment further on Calhoun’s record.

Well, Calhoun is still at his tomfoolery. If you look closely at the picture at the top of this post, you’ll notice that he’s wearing a patch claiming to be a Desert Storm veteran. Well not according to his FOIA, which I’ll admit doesn’t have his 2008 – 2014 enlistment, but it does cover the Gulf War period and he wasn’t there;

Here’s his business card where he still tells folks that he was a CWO3 despite the Army’s statement to the Army Times that he wasn’t. Notice that the helicopters on his card aren’t anything that he was authorized to fly – the Army said he failed a qualification course for Blackhawks.

His LinkedIn profile still makes his claims of being a CWO3 and that he flew special operations aircraft – both of which the Army denies are true.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (129)

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  1. Sh1fty says:

    Nice card. The final touch is the aperture labs symbol from the video game portal in front of his name. Guess he worked there too.

  2. Carlton G. Long says:

    When your email address is “Desertsnake1991” you’ve got to be the real deal.

  3. Skippy says:

    What a moron, he has a honorable service record and then went off the res
    To write and talk shit in a army times piece.. seriously WTF
    Is wrong with this dip-shit

  4. Mick says:

    Oh. Hell. No.

    He’s wearing an Air Medal that he doesn’t rate on his bogus CWO3 aviator nametag on that snazzy leather poser vest in the photo above. That pisses aviators off just as much as when combat infantrymen find posers wearing unauthorized CIBs/CARs.

    Let’s review, shall we?

    – Phony Air Medal

    – Falsely claims to have flown type/model/series aircraft that he was never qualified for

    – Leather vest covered with poser bling

    – Motorcycle

    Yes, sir. Totally legit.

  5. Combat Historian says:

    The guy’s an embellishing attention-whoring shitbird…not much else to say…

  6. Nonner says:

    Wonder if he learned his helo pilot skills from Jimmy Walls…

  7. Jay says:

    Seems like he has a shit load more decorations on his class As than listed on his 214 as well.

    Fuck dude, you’re a legit huey pilot and CW2. Be happy with that!

  8. Dapandico says:

    He was certified as a flying unicorn pilot.

    • CW5 JP says:

      As a retired CW5 Army Aviator I can tell you that if he failed the UH60 AQC for anything other than medical or family…he wasn’t the motherfucker you wanted flying your loved ones into a night LZ under brown-out and combat conditions. Fucking Blue Falcon to every Warrant Officer that ever busted their asses to earn the coveted wings of an aviator. That shit-eating grin makes my skin crawl.

      • Eden says:

        I have a family member, former CW2 Army Aviator, who flew UH-60s. I agree with you.

      • CK Young says:

        Went to UH-60 AQC at EAATS. While not a “gimme” school, the course was designed to let the properly motivated graduate and continue learning at their unit. RL3 is not an insurmountable hurdle. If calhoun was unable to pass, that’s a huge red flag.

    • BarflyS says:

      A singing flying unicorn

    • BarflyS says:

      He hangs out in Gulfport karaoke bars telling Desert Storm stories and letting people buy his drinks. Always wearing that vest I’d recognize it anywhere

  9. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    By and large, old liars used to be young liars and old assholes used to be young assholes. Absent some event that changes a personality wholesale, I can guess that he isn’t a late bloomer when it comes to lying and assholism.

  10. ChipNASA says:

    Since this guy has violated *numerous* rules doubled down on the lies, forged a DD214 and is rocking all kinds of shit he didn’t earn,

    “I move that Mr Jim Calhoun, Not A CW3, lying embellisher, Fuckbrain, Two Time Post on TAH and so stupid he lied to the Army Times?!?! WTF!!!???, has earned the WALL O SHAME/INSULTS.”

    Second?

    • Deplorable B Woodman says:

      AYE! SECOND THAT MOTION!

      • ChipNASA says:

        We have an “AYE”. The “AYE”s have it.
        Only one voted needed, motion passed.

        FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
        TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
        DANGER CLOSE!!!!
        MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
        TAKE COVER!!!!!

        Mr Jim Calhoun Stolen valor Dickbag…., ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken fucker, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping, Cambodian cunt sauce, ball working asshole, Poster-child for abortion, shit tonguing, munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, lying, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, Bowl of ass soup, Sparklepony, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, useless bag of monkey fuck, Mayor Grundle of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, numbnuts, snowball, giggling beerflecked canker blossom , maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting fruitcake, putrid, rotting, whoreson whale’s carcass, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, moron, Prevaricating Sphincter, baby unit, terminal crotch infection, asshat, dick pickle, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, inbred, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, catcher not pitcher, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, douche & enema nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, schlong juice, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, Milksop, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Pettifogger, donkey raping shit-eater, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck you own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee),
        Not A CW3, lying embellisher, Fuckbrain, Two Time Post on TAH and so stupid he lied to the Army Times, DD 214 forger, NOT Special Forces, Blackhawk Qual washout, NOT a Desert Storm veteran, NOT awarded an Air Medal, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, taint cookie, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, walking shart shooter, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twat, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pilsburry Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, cum-dumpster, bucked tooth, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Gerbal Felcher, dingleberry, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, sack of siberian sheep shit, mangina micropeen, turd burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with Bernath’s used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.

        FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Aye, second it!

      Pursue the subsailor dead ahead, too.

  11. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    There were some allegations in the 2014 post from a few women that COCKSUCKING JIM CALHOUN was a scammer:

    http://thisainthell.us/blog/?p=53866#comment-1744802

  12. Ex-PH2 says:

    Just give me some rope and gas money.

  13. Brown Neck Gaitor says:

    I never had a set of guns, but out of curiosity, who here could roll their sleeves while wearing their blouse?

  14. Dinotanker says:

    Brown Neck Gaitor, Im with ya, whoever could actually roll their BDU sleeves while still wearing their blouse could give Houdini a run for his contortionist tricks! Either that or have no biceps. BUT since the subject of this article seems to believe he can walk on water…

    I used to freaking hate having to roll/unroll BDU sleeves…the 1SG would come in just before formation and let us know what the CSM and BN Cdr were doing with their sleeves. However, Id never heard the NBC reasoning before in regards to why BDU sleeves were rolled the way they were. I just figured it was another “high speed, low drag” kind of Army BS thing…

    • David says:

      No, NBC that was the rationale du jour. Had to be one of the most fucked-with uniforms of all time – originally they claimed there was a coating which helped minimize IR detection (ignoring those nice, shiny boots which emitted like searchlights). Couldn’t even dry them fully for fear of screwing up said coating… then within a year you could dry them and hang them, then lightly starch them, then when the SGMs complained that their troops weren’t STRAC enough, full blown starch became the norm again. What really sucked was if you rolled up the sleeves and the SGM showed up with sleeves down – you could pull ’em down quickly but your nicely starched blouse now had sleeves like an accordion. Also had double layering at contact points like elbows and knees which made them hot as hell in the summer. Should I mention all the cargo pockets you weren’t allowed to use? One of the worst uniforms ever.

  15. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Dildo head.

  16. Cris says:

    Oh the agony, the agony…
    Black vest, patches and badges, and motorcycle in the background. It’s either every vet owns a bike, or, every biker is a vet.

    • Dinotanker says:

      LOL! Im not sure, I have a bike, its rice burner old man crotch rocket, if I wear a vest its underneath my leather jacket to keep warm, I did try wearing a doo rag for a little bit, but who the hell am I kidding, Im going bald…thanks grandpa…;.
      I have University of Montana “Go Griz” sticker and a 1st Cavalry Regiment Crest on the bike. Hmmmm what else, Mrs Dinotanker isn’t into dogs, so that’s out, I do have two cats to go with the two teenage sons… But wait, nope that wont work, Ive outgrown my 2/163rd ACR T-shirt and my 104th Division T-shirt so that wont help….

      Why the hell do guys do this? I enlisted in the WA ARNG in 1978 as a tanker (19E) assigned to the states Cavalry Troop, somehow by hook or by crook managed to get an Armor commission from UM in 1984 (Hence the 163rd ACR T-shirt). Stayed in the USAR in various units until 1999 (was in a program for a year where I went and did my reserve time in one 30 day chunk, that’s where the 2/1 Cavalry sticker comes from).

      So I think a lot of veterans like motorcycles. 🙂 Wow I took the long route to that answer didn’t I?

    • ExPhillyChk8 says:

      He says he’s in Cobras MC FL. Is that the official patch on his vest?

  17. Justagirl21 says:

    Is this the same guy??? http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=34605014

    Username: RescueMyHeart

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Yeah, that’s Jim-boy, all right! Except for those helo shots – he didn’t pass his quals. See his REAL bio up at the top of this page.

      Let us know how it goes. Like I said, he likes to rip off women. I think he’s a deadbeat of some kind, but that’s only an opinion based on the facts so far.

      Be careful!

  18. Justagirl21 says:

    POF profile says he’s 51… but he was 52 in 2014? How’s that work?

  19. Justagirl21 says:

    Jim Calhoun sounds legit on plenty of fish dating site, “Pictures: Please have (more than one!) clear, well focused, and RECENT/REAL picture of yourself! If your pics are “10 years and 60 pounds” ago…things are not going to go well when we meet. Be fair, be honest, and dont be afraid. Just smile, pose, and post. Easy breezy.
    There is simply no excuse for not having at least 5 or more good/clear pics up.(Also, if your row of pics go from Flat chested to 48DD’s? (Padded bra’s are “False advertising” ladies! Lets keep it real! (And if youv’e had “em” done,fine, just don’t let them “define” who you are!)”

  20. Ex-PH2 says:

    Should I have some fun trying to run one on this guy? I would LUV to find out how far he wants to take it, especially where the cash flow is concerned. 🙂 🙂 😉

  21. Green Thumb says:

    So why did the Army not kick him out?

  22. Guard Bum says:

    I personaly appreciate this fake pilot for breaking the fake SEAL monotony lately.

  23. EyesWideOpen says:

    Nope. His word against mine, and he’s a practiced liar. I’m not brave enough to mess with him! Guess that’s why I’m just a civilian 😉

  24. EyesWideOpen says:

    This individual also has a Linkedin profile under the name “Harris H. Calhoun” https://www.linkedin.com/in/harris-h-calhoun-aa5614100/

  25. Justagirl21 says:

    Has anyone call Jim to ask him to explain these allegations? I think I would like to hear his side of the story. Is the phone number on his card correct?

  26. EyesWideOpen says:

    Justagirl, not sure about the number but the email is different. He uses a Gmail account now but still goes by desert snake 1991.

  27. EyesWideOpen says:

    Stealing from the departed? Despicable…

    http://pin.it/KOjg193

  28. EyesWideOpen says:

    ATTENTION WOMEN:
    Update: LinkedIn has removed Jim Calhoun’s falsified primary profile and is actively investigating his other aliases. Jim Calhoun primarily targets women through FaceBook and military dating sites. On Facebook, known aliases include: Thomas Jim, Harris H, Jim Thomas, Bobby Thomas, John Calhoun. At least ten fraudulent profiles have been identified and are under investigation at this time. The surname Calhoun is usually included in the alias, but not always. Cities of residence in U.S. are currently posted as San Diego, New York City, Atlanta, and Saint Petersburg. A number of profiles have been set up on international sites, as well; outside the US, locations include Gernany (Schweinsburg), Afghanistan, Colombia (Bogota, Cali), Brazil, Belgium (Antwerp), and Thailand. Please be advised that profiles and identities are changing as rapidly as they are identified; common elements are references to US Army, Special Forces, and military contracting. DOB is 10/26/1961; usually age is listed as 5-10 years younger. Please do not give this individual money, assets, or personal information without first doing your own research. Good luck!

  29. Larry Hay says:

    I know “Diamond Jim” well. We were in flight school together, until he started failing check rides. Total BS artist. Never studied or took it seriously. Then he showed up in my unit in Germany. While most of us WO-1’s were hungry for flight time, he rarely flew because he had more important things to do. I can confirm he was in DS, as a UH-1 pilot, and I’ve seen his bogus AH-1 pics with the ’91 date before. Everyone here is spot on with their comments. No AH-1, no Spec-Ops, just BS all the way. I’ll add more later after my first post here clears.

    • EyesWideOpen says:

      Larry Hay, is DS Desert Storm? Just wondering if you’re confirming that Calhoun was a Huey pilot in combat missions in Desert Storm? I don’t know all the lingo 😉

      • LH says:

        Correct…We were in 1st Armored Division. The UH-1’s were for the general staff. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not defending this moron at all. He was more of an annoyance when I knew him than anything else. He was my stick buddy in primary in flight school. Everyday we’d have some table talk with the instructor before flying to discuss what we should have been studying. I would usually answer the first question, then he would spend the rest of the time with Calhoun who never studied. So all of this fits, except he seems to have taken it to this level.

  30. LH says:

    Also, I earned my Airborne wings in my first tour at Bragg. Calhoun never had German jump wings when I knew him. So anyone who thinks that a 30 y/o CW2 went to German jump school raise their hand. And how many went to a foreign jump school without going to US Army jump school first? I’m just wondering what used car lot he’s been working at for the last 20 years?

    • EyesWideOpen says:

      Funny you should say that- he worked as a used car salesman for years- and as an Orkin pest-control man- lots of odd jobs, periods of unemployment… the pieces simply don’t fit

  31. Tony180a says:

    Perhaps shitbag, fake, phony CW3 Cock-Kisser Calhoun can pilot a make believe AH-1 and let fellow shitbird, fake, phony CW5 Bullshit Brian Magyar stand on the skid and get that HALO jump on his jump log!

    Believe it or not early 80’s 2 AH-1 pilots actually landed at a drop zone on Bragg and let two members of a certain unnamed sport parachute club stand on the skids as they went up to altitude for a skydive. They got hammered!!!

  32. LH says:

    I remember hearing about the AH-1 jump! 1 or both of the pilots were in the SPC and took their buddies up for a one-of-a-kind jump…..

    • Tony180a says:

      If memory serves me both pilots were Warrants and that stunt got them kicked out of the Army. I wonder if they said, “Hey, watch this shit” before taking off.

  33. EyesWideOpen says:

    AH-1 is a Cobra? That’s what Jim Calhoun says he flew in combat… he has a Cobra patch on his vest and motorcycle, and decals on his truck that say “don’t tread on me”

  34. EyesWideOpen says:

    Is the same training required to fly Little Bird, Cobra, and the Blackhawk? Those are the helicopters Calhoun claimed to fly (and instructed others to fly, as a special forces consultant). More recently, in 2016, he made a series of trips to Colombia, allegedly to meet with top defense officials about acquisition of night vision goggles. According to Calhoun, if the Colombian government agreed and the U.S. DOD gave the ok, Calhoun would lead training missions to train Colombian pilots to use the highly specialized equipment (he said they were unlike conventional night vision goggles). I honestly had my doubts, especially when he told me I couldn’t accompany him because the base he’d be housed in required top secret clearance, but he was adamant and made several followup trips to ensure the contract…

  35. LH says:

    I was an OH-58 mech prior to flight school. Calhoun was an AH-1 mech prior to flight school. That’s his only AH-1 experience. EWO–in the modern Army, those aircraft you mentioned would all require separate transition training because of mission specific equipment. And the instructor course was another 2 1/2 month course at Rucker. All require a good bit of studying and being able to perform, which probably excludes Jim. I doubt he ever flew NVG’s except in flight school. I’m only 1 1/2 hours from St. Pete, if that’s where you and he are at it might be worth the drive for me. I work for the SO here, and have had to deal with a couple of posers over the years. Tired of the BS. I’d love to call him out…..

  36. EyesWideOpen says:

    Fabulous! I’d even buy you dinner!

  37. LH says:

    Something isn’t adding up here. 2014? No way. I last saw numbnuts in ’91 when I left Germany. We both had about 10 years of active duty then. The FOIA info above says his Warrant Officer time ended in ’92. That fits. It also says he ETS’d from Ft. Dix, NJ. In those days, we were handed our personnel and medical records and told to turn them in at our next duty station. So anyone who is integrity-challenged could modify their personal info. And for you young-uns here…back then everything was typewriters and carbon paper, so different fonts, typefaces, and forms in the same folder were common.

  38. TJ Fagan says:

    Man, it just blows me away about all these actual veterans who just can’t be proud of their actual service! About a year ago I exposed an area vet here in Vero Beach, Florida who claimed he was a retired Army LTC, Nam Cobra pilot, shot down 3 times, wears 3 Purple Hearts, two DFC’s Ranger Tab, Airborne Badge, Senior Aviator Badge, CIB, flew F-14’s, skipped the rank of Major and on and on and NON OF IT IS LEGIT! His name is Richard G Cantner, also here in Vero Beach, Florida. This Ain’t Hell thankfully ran that story as well. Look him up. It will blow you away. If you google his name there are many links to numerous stories and articles. Thanks to all you folks for out there who expose and condemn these punks! I’ve been told to just let it go, that I’m over reacting and not to take it personally. BS to that! Some just don’t get it! It IS personal, very personal!! In my case, I knew the guy for 11 years off and on. Thanks to everyone and all who post here, and a very special thanks to all the folks at This Ain’t Hell!! I appreciate what you do and for being there for the rest of us!!

    TJ Fagan
    CW3 US Army
    SGT USMC
    The Citadel

  39. Sam Destbo says:

    Allison Calhoun is his new meal ticket…he told his own kid to trap a guy with cash

  40. PoserExposer17 says:

    Dipshit Calhoun thinks he’s an expert on awards and the like, look here (scroll down page for dumbass rant): https://www.stripes.com/opinion/letters-to-the-editor-for-thursday-march-10-2005-1.31566

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