Chris Ford; the secret MP

| June 6, 2017

Our partners at Military Phonies share their work on the Chris Ford person with us. Mr Ford created a persona to help him sell what he calls non-fiction books about his time as a military secret policeman. He claims participation in the Global War against Terror and that he interviewed Saddam Hussein. He was recruited by the Army to attend a class of “Military Secret Police” – one of 143 classmates in a one-time block of instruction. There were only 21 graduates and only three survived their assignment, Mr Ford being one of them.

Here’s a closer look at that DD214 forgery;

If you can’t spot the things that make it an obvious forgery, Military Phonies provides a helpful outline;

His actual records say that he spent three years on active duty from 1986 to 1989. He spent his time in Germany as a regular old (non-secret) MP, writing traffic tickets and bashing the heads of drunken privates returning from a night on the town in Nurenburg and Grafenwöhr.

So in one night on the Stolen Valor network he went from Jack Reacher to Kyle (Barwan) Reacher.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (168)

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  1. C2Show says:

    Read this on in the morning while travelling on the Metro.

    Pure comedy, guy has to be mentally ill. He seriously tried to tell people that he got multiple 214s for each rank he “earned”…basically he got a DD214 for a O-4, then got one as a O-5.

    No way a person can be this stupid, he did at least 3 years on active duty and he attempted to sell this shit to people?

    Apparently he has a cult that believes his words?

    • CPT11A says:

      You pretty much covered my thoughts.

      1) A by-rank DD-214?

      2) I get non-veterans coming up with wild stories of phony service, and I get veterans making relatively believable exaggerations. But how does someone who’s been there and done it come up with this crazy shit?

      • C2Show says:

        Your #2 is exactly what I was trying to get at…how do you come up with something so dumb when you served and suppose to know how basic things work…like a DD214.

        There has to be some underlying mental issues with this guy. Like he took a bat to the head or something.

      • MSGT Richard Deiters USMC(Retired) says:

        CPT11A, the only way he could even possibly come close to having a separate DD-214 for each rank is to re-enlist to get the next Enlisted Rank. Officers to my knowledge would only get one on request, when converting from Reserve to Regular or when they rare released from Active Duty.

        • rgr769 says:

          I only have one DD-214, the one I received when I left active duty. I never received one for my subsequent service in the Utah Army National Guard and Army Reserve. Never heard of anyone getting more than one for the same period of service, irrespective of rank.

          • I have three DD-214s from my active duty in the United States Army, one as a draftee, and two for times I reenlisted.

            I also have a DD-214 for service in the Utah National Guard.

            I have an Honorable Discharge certificate from the Utah State Guard (also known as the Utah State Defense Force), but no DD-214, as I don’t think they ever issued them.

        • CPT11A says:

          Interesting, MSGT. I have often wondered about this, since I have my AD DD-214, and am now serving in the TXARNG. I suppose I’ll get another when I retire. Not that it matters, since no one in my new line of work knows how to read the damn things anyway.

          Speaking of which, if you want to steal valor, buy some ACUs, attach the basic necessities per 670-1, give yourself a deployment patch and a CIB and call it a day. Take off that Silver Star and shut up about being a Delta Force sniper, because no veteran buys it and no civilian cares or understands. Just my $.02 on how to be a successful poser.

        • 0369-311A says:

          There are several ways to get them. I’ve got 5. You also get a close out one going from enlisted-officer.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      I think he’s simply dumber than a bag of quicksand.

  2. Graybeard says:

    I think he served as the practice dummy for baton practice a little too often.

    • C2Show says:

      Still baffled about how he attempted to trick people with Rank DD214s….

      Also baffled by that someone caught him trying to pass a regulation off as a military reg, when it was a IRS regulation

    • Skippy says:

      😂 😂 😂 😂

  3. IDC SARC says:

    Mk1 Mod-0 Day/Night D-Bag

  4. Redacted1775 says:

    Ehhh…Nope.

  5. Ex-PH2 says:

    I went to Amazon, a company that is kind enough to let benighted souls like this have a space in which to promote their….

    Oh, crap, I can’t go any further.

    Go to Amazon books, do a search for ’26 Days with Saddam Hussein’ or ‘The Other Side of the Fence’ and read the first few paragraphs.

    If you can get past those without spewing your morning cuppa whatever, then look at the reviews. He was already being slammed as a faker there and his level is basic grade school English grammar.

    You can’t blame a guy for trying, but for Pete’s sake, take a writing class, hone your skills before publishing anything, and don’t list fiction as anything BUT fiction.

    I would strongly advise this leafless twig to hire an editor AND label his stuff historical fiction.

    ’26 Days With Saddam Hussein’???? EEEEEEeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!

    I’ll go turn the hose on myself now.

    • C2Show says:

      Took your advice…

      Jesus…

      What a mess.

    • Doc Savage says:

      Its okay, Ex….just breathe….the pain will pass.

      Eventually, I am told, the mental numbness and loss of cognitive ability will fade.

    • C2Show says:

      I think the one 5 star review is a puppet account or something. Nonsensical ramblings…

    • sj says:

      He splains the grammar: “Please pardon the grammer (sic) or spelling in this book. This was my first attempt at writing and after all the great reviews I got I was told not to change anything.”

    • CWORet says:

      Well, I was warned. But did I listen? No.

  6. HT3 '83-'87 says:

    C’mon dude! The greatest spy novelist, Ian Fleming, was a Naval Intelligence/MI5 analyst and wrote about a fictional character operative in MI6. I guess he was trying to one-up the late RN Cmdr. because his bullshit stories didn’t work unless they were “real”.

    Super Top-Secret Classified Eyes Only Hush-Hush…and he writes books about it? Carry on you sorry ass.

    • Mick says:

      ‘Super Top-Secret Classified Eyes Only Hush-Hush’

      Yeah, he can’t talk about any of it unless he’s writing a book, posting about it on Facebook, or sitting on a bar stool.

      • Forest Green says:

        Hey, at least he’s original. Secret Police; I admit that’s a good one. He’s not a SEAL, Ranger, Raider, etc., (although he claims to be a sniper). I bet he’s the Clinton assassin and that’s quite a record.

        • Mick says:

          Sniper? Oh FFS. I completely missed that. It’s always ‘Sniper’ with these poser assclowns.

          After reviewing that bogus DD-214 posted above, in addition to being an ‘expert’ with ‘rifle, pistol, grenade, explosives, sniper’, I see that he was also ‘ordered to PEGASUS SCHOOL by the President of the United States in support of Cold War threat (Law 10 USC 12.304-07.A)’.

          So yeah, he’s the real deal, alright.

          I wonder if he knows our buddy.

        • Ex-PH2 says:

          He’s an expert with snipers? How did I miss that????

          I am SO stealing that right out of his own pencilings.

          • Bill M says:

            I think the asylum makes him use crayons instead of pencils; he keeps eating the ‘lead’ filler.

        • 11b-mailclerk says:

          Typo. Should be “snipper”.

          The plot of his story was a search for a Mohel.

  7. Doc Savage says:

    Wow….this fella has his “books” for sale on Amazon.

    Just reading the first few pages cost me IQ points….

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      I can ask PUnkin Squawkypants to loan you a few until yours return to home base, if you like.

  8. Combat Historian says:

    He was in “Military Secret Police”; did they wear trench coats and jackboots at the same time?

    He went to “Army Explosive Ordance and Detonation School”; did they teach a new style of rumba at that school?

    • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

      Dude knew Top Secret “Agent Orange”….

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      What do “Secret MP’s” do, write Classified Parking Tickets?

      • Sparks says:

        They hide in the bushes with the radar gun to trap speeders.

        • Martinjmpr says:

          Then they write you tickets in invisible ink that you then have to decrypt using a one-time pad.

          If you want to pay your fine, you have to put the cash in a dead drop under a park bench near a bus stop in Central Park.

          But if you want to fight it, you have
          to go to Secret Court. It’s such a hassle that most people just pay the secret fines.

          • Brian says:

            You guys are killing me. I haven’t laughed this much in a while. However, I have friends from vet FB groups get pissed at me because I didn’t buy into his BS.

    • 11b-mailclerk says:

      “Military Secret Police”?

      So he was GheStuPid?

  9. OldManchu says:

    Do these looney ass hats sit around jacking off to their ridiculous stories? I mean what the hell? What is their end game?

  10. Sgt Fon says:

    His FB page is still up, he must have slept in this Morning!

    I really love how he went to ” Army explosive ordnance and detonation school” some one should have really payed more attention to detail on his BS 214!

    • Graybeard says:

      “BS 214”

      I’m stealing that one for future use.

      • Sgt Fon says:

        feel free, but you now owe me sone tube of MRE cheese w/ jalapeno for each use 😉

        • Graybeard says:

          I may have some left over from the stock we received for Hurricane Ike. I’d have to check the camp storage shed.

  11. Sandman says:

    I love how in Block 14 of his 214 he is ‘termination’ qualified,,,lmao!

  12. C2Show says:

    Guess Chrissy is going to say that his drummed up DD214 is all part of the character for book and future films.

  13. Sandman says:

    *POOF* went the profile!

  14. USMCMSgt (Ret) says:

    By a show of hands, how many of us have a “classified” DD-214, or received one for each rank held?

    (Didn’t think so…)

    • Martinjmpr says:

      My assignments were so secret that my shoulder patch was a “top secret” cover sheet.

      My awards were so classified that I had to lock my ribbon rack in a GSA approved container at night.

      My work was so sensitive that even I wasn’t allowed to know what I was doing.

      I got a million of ’em, folks. 😉

      • Cris says:

        I was so secret that even my mom couldn’t be at my birth.

      • Hack Stone says:

        With this guy, you are required to sign a Non Disclosure Agreement before he will ship you his book.

      • Brian Crook says:

        I have so many people on FB pissed at me for not buying into his bullshit, I lost count. He was asking for personal stories from people who are dealing with health issues from Fort McClellan. I passed because I knew he would be making money from it and you have to be dumb as a rock to buy the bullshit he was selling.

    • Cris says:

      Of all my DD214s for each of my ranks, the only classified on was for my time in boot camp, because, you know, THAT is classified stuff, learning to salute and march…

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Everything I ever did is classified beyond ordinary reach. Everything I do now is so classified, you couldn’t find out about it if you went to North Korea to get it hacked.
      Even I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time.

  15. 13B/92S/02M says:

    His secret military police instructors were Thomas Magnum , Jim Rockford and Barney Fife . The other two survivors were Crockett and Tubbs who after service went on to great careers with Miami Vice respectively

    • Cris says:

      Barney Fife I would believe. Magnum and Rockford must have been on vacation.

    • Martinjmpr says:

      His hand-to-hand combat instructor was Tyler Durden but he apparently forgot the first rule of the Military Secret Police Fight Club.

      • RM3(SS) says:

        Col Flagg from MASH.
        “I keep myself in a constant state of confusion, that way if I’m captured, I can’t tell them anything”

  16. Secret pohleeece man
    Secret poeleeece man
    They’ve given you a number
    and taken away your name

    (sung to the tune of “Secret Agent Man”)

  17. Skippy says:

    BHWHAHAHAHA. 🤣. 😂. 😆. 😆. 🤣

  18. sj says:

    “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shores of Somalia. I watched the Sea Bee Missiles glitter in the darkness as they rained down upon them…”

    He’s legit. Google doesn’t know about “See Bee Missiles”, I guess because they are so classified.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      I did want to ask about the ‘See Bee Missiles’, but the cat was frantically asking me to check the catbox and give her a cookie.

      Do we have any See Bee Missiles? Isn’t this something the SEELS would know about? Do the CBs set them up or do they just build launchers for them?

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        CB Missile, izzat something you launch by saying “BREAKER 1-9” on a CB Radio?

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      Direct rip-off from the movie “Bladerunner”.

      “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”

      • Cris says:

        It’s so nice to have Sci-Fi folks here. Now, if you need any Old Western quotes…
        “Would you say I have a plethora of piñatas?”

      • C2Show says:

        Excellent catch, the classic bladerunner Monologue. Guess he couldn’t use Tannhauser gate.

        • Ex-PH2 says:

          Here it is. Guess ol’ Chris cain’t claim it no mo’. It belongs to Philip K. Dick, not some dickhead wannabe.

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        I thought that sounded familiar.

        I wonder if the producers should know that he’s been plagiarizing the script.

        It’s not a good thing to see someone this dumbed down making things worse for himself.

      • CWORet says:

        Nice. Epic smash.

      • Daisy Cutter says:

        The full text of his book promo was:

        “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shores of Somalia. I watched the Sea Bee Missiles glitter in the darkness as they rained down upon them. Causing all that survived to jump into the mouths of the Tiger Sharks that waited in the water for below. All these moments will be lost in time like tears in the rain if I don’t document them for you to experience like I did.”

    • Martinjmpr says:

      Where were those Sea Bee missiles launched? Over Macho Grande?

    • 11b-mailclerk says:

      Is a “Sea Bee Missile” a drink like a “Car Bomb”, only made with Navy-issue cough syrup and Raisin Jack?

  19. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    I bet he’s about as smart as a blob of mud dripping off a swamp boar’s tit! Class -ee-fried DD214? NOPE, me neither. He has a meat gazer’s grin as well.

  20. Fjardeson says:

    That DD-214 crashed my browser, it was so bad. And I use Firefox.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      He really is so dumb that he hasn’t properly blocked his IDnumber, which in his case is his SSN.

      Posting it online like that means that anyone can steal his info.

      What a maroon!

      • Hack Stone says:

        If someone were to steal this idjit’s ID, it could only improve his credit score.

  21. 26Limabeans says:

    “only three survived their assignment, Mr Ford being one of them.”

    I want to hear from the other two.

  22. MSGRetired says:

    Well I see he was posting on the FT Mac Toxic Blah Blah group. That is a group of Numbnuts trying to cash in on BS Claims of chemical poisoning from the 3 months they spent at Ft Mac. So their bad life choices over the years, or genetic composition entitles them to VA payments for every little sniffle. Fuck HIM and Fuck them for defending him. Every MP in the Army knows there is no such thing as Secret MP’s WTF

  23. Berliner says:

    Don’t forget the coveted “ARMED FORCES PRESIDENTAL PROTECOTION CITATION” and the “COMMISIONED OFFICERS PRFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT RIBBION”
    I understand now why he rocketed all the way to Private First Class. He’s a real flaccid charger!

  24. C2Show says:

    I wonder what TAH member sent him his nice little military phony dossier and TAH page?

    That’s probably what made Chrissy go away.

    • Sandman says:

      I must confess,,,it was I,,,I plastered that bitch in every group he is in, every photo he had, and any reviews he made.

      • Daisy Cutter says:

        You did everything to him that could have been done to a man.

        But, you’ll still respect him in the morning and pay the hotel bill.

  25. Hack Stone says:

    Everybody wants to claim Secret Military Police until it becomes time to donate to The Secret Military Police Relief Fund.

    • Cris says:

      I’d go to their Ball, only I don’t have the clearance to get directions to it

    • Keepin' It Real says:

      Yes, and when you don’t donate do they take their sweet time when coming to your house on a Secret Military Police call?

    • Sparks says:

      Just got a call last night. The guy starts with, “Is this Miguel?” I say, sorry bud you have the wrong number. Then he takes off with, “Well maybe you can help me, I’m Richard with the National Police and Patrolman Foundation…” I hung up. I tell you they are giving classes on how to entrap suckers into listening to the bullshit whatever it takes.

      • Hack Stone says:

        You have to engage them in pointless conversations. If they call you about your student debt, press 1 to speak to a representative. Then tell him that in 3rd Grade, you had to get a pass from the principal’s office because you forgot your milk money, and now 35 years later they want their money.

        If you get a call about reducing your credit debt, tell them that you need $350K by midnight or the mob will break your legs.

        They waste your time, you waste their time.

        • Keepin' It Real says:

          I got called by a creditor once and I was telling him that I intended to increase payments as soon as I got this other job but it fell through. He was unsympathetic.

          So I asked him when he was a 9 year old boy, what did he want to be when he grew up?

          He hesitated, then said “I don’t see how this has anything to do with –”

          I interrupted and asked “Did you want to be an astronaut, or a professional football player, or a fireman?”

          He insisted that he did not see the point.

          I said “The point is you probably didn’t dream of being a collections agent for people that default on their payments. So, somewhere along the way something didn’t work out for you and that’s my point here. I was hopeful to get this better paying job but things didn’t work out for me.”

          He said “Sir, this isn’t about me, this is about you. Can we please keep this on you.”

          I said “Sure, but I’m just trying to get you to see where balloons burst around us in life. It happens to everyone, even you. So try and be a little more empathetic and reflect back to your childhood and try and member what you wanted to be vs. sitting in the chair you’re sitting in now. Nothing wrong with being a debt collector, but I’m sure you felt you were capable of so much more. In that sense, you and I are alike.”

          I don’t know where all that came from but it was effective.

    • 11b-mailclerk says:

      Obviously “Pegasus School ” did not teach him

      (Puts on sunglasses)

      how to make his horseshit fly….

  26. Sandman says:

    Guess who just popped up with a comment over at Military Phonies on Ford’s BoS. Lt. Michael Wilson!

    http://thisainthell.us/blog/?p=29830

    • Sandman says:

      Sorry, wrong Michael Wilson,,this one is the one who defended Ford in the BoS. Sorry for any inconvenience!

  27. Ex-344MP says:

    Lol, Military Police are now 31 series MOS’s, I did at one time hold both a 95B and 95C, but they changed to 31B and 31E respectively sometime after 1993 when I got out of Active Duty and went back in to the Reserves.

    • 11b-mailclerk says:

      Ahem….

      He’s getting a tattoo.

      He’s getting ink done.

      He wanted a thirteen,

      But they drew a thirty one!

      • Martinjmpr says:

        He may not have a clue

        And he may not have style

        But everything he lacks,

        Well, he makes up in denial

        That song works on so many levels for this guy…

    • @ EX-344 MP:

      Very interesting!

      I was trained as a 31M20 and a 31L20, but back in those days, long long ago, the 31 series was Signal Corps, and I was a Field Radio Relay and Carrier Equipment Repairman.

      (Back then, there were no females in the Signal Corps.)

      Also, my other MOS, which was 11D20, Cavalry Scout, is now changed to 19D20.

      Because it was an 11 series MOS, I got the blue Infantry cord, which I don’t think Scouts get anymore.

      On the other hand, I got my spurs without taking a Spur Ride, which is required now.

      I also underwent on the job training with the 142d Military Police Company in Korea, and in the Utah State Guard, completed the Senior NCO Military Police Supervisor course.

  28. Skippy says:

    It’s losers like this that keep me smiling
    Now I think I’ve seen it all
    But some other turd is sure to outdo this one
    I’ve seen it on here to many times

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • Graybeard says:

      I think these guys take “How stooped can you be?” as a challenge.

      I’m just waiting to see who’s reading about Reality Winner and saying “Here, hold my beer and watch this!”

  29. 11b-mailclerk says:

    The really weird part?

    If this idiot had kept the bullshit between the covers of his books, and just said “i cant say much about my prior work”, he would be selling more books, and no one here would have paid him any attention.

    John Wayne is -right-.

    Life -is- tougher if you are stupid.

  30. Bobo says:

    He managed to get the coveted Cold War Service Medal on his DD-214. I guess that I need to get a revision to mine.

  31. RUBBER DUCK says:

    “It’s what happens to a small town boy who was turned into one of the Military’s most notorious trained assassins.” REALLY?!!!!! Aside from that, his literary skills and spelling ability matches his self penned DD214.
    That small town boy turned into one of English literatures most notorious assassins

  32. Carlton G. Long says:

    He should just have NO REGERTS tattooed to his forehead, which is ironic, because if his DD-214 said, “I was eating a Milky Way,” well THAT I would have believed.

  33. Actually, there is a Cold War Victory Medal AND a Cold War Victory Commemorative Medal, neither of which are issued by the United States Government.

    The Cold War Victory Medal is authorized for wear by Cold War veterans serving in the Louisiana National Guard.

    Cold War veterans serving in the Alaska National Guard may wear the ribbon, but not the medal.

    The Cold War Victory Medal may be purchased from the USAMM web site, and the Cold War Victory Commemorative Medal may be purchased from the Medals of America web site.

    Congress and the Department of Defense are still going back and forth over the issue of whether to officially authorize award of the Cold War Victory Medal.

    I suspect the problem might be political, possibly due to fear of publicly embarrassing the Russians.

  34. StaticJumper says:

    This is actually only part of his scam. He was on a Podcast last month called “The Short End of the Stick” on “Veterans Today” radio. His stories of his time in the Military Secret Police, his receiving the Bronze Star with V device, etc, etc are infuriating. I posted condensed versions (the full podcast is an hour and forty minutes long) of his claims to the “Fort McClellan Clearing House” group on Facebook for anyone whose interested.

  35. Green Thumb says:

    Yeah.

    This dude was a “Secret Manhole Inspector”.

    Word has it that he got trapped on a “secret insertion mission”.

    What a tool.

  36. Andy Kravetz says:

    Hi again,

    So there are no classified DD-214s? Even for those Delta guys? I know there are some guys out there who do really big time stuff. But then again, you would never hear from them.

    The sense that I am getting is that anyone who served in a normal capacity (even a SEAL) is going to have a DD-214. If you are CIA or Delta or something really big time, maybe not?

    I ask not because I need but because I might need and remember, I didn’t serve so I didn’t get a chance to learn this then. Thanks.

    Andy Kravetz, reporter
    Peoria (Ill.) Journal Star

    • IDC SARC says:

      No, there are no classified DD-214s

      Classified material is not placed on a DD-214

      For example: If you got a silver star on a classified mission the silver star would still be documented and a certificate issued and eventually it would be listed on a DD-214. The citation and supporting documents however would not contain any classified information about the mission.

      As soon as you put classified info into anything the entire folder must be handled according to the highest classification of any particular piece inside it. Service records, health records, training records etc are not authorized to contain classified information.

    • Graybeard says:

      Andy,
      I always appreciate the effort you take to learn how the process works and what is and is not normal.

      I am frequently one of those who broad-brush paints reporters in a negative light. But I am thankful that those broad general statements are not universally true.

      Thank you, sir.

  37. IDC SARC says:

    When someone goes to do “bigtime” stuff….the assignment often carries a transfer listing in the Record that is very seemingly generic and does not reveal anything to a casual reader. It’s only something you would recognize as special by experience.

    For example nobody’s record is going to say they transferred to “The Secret Army of the Potomac”

    • Skippy says:

      It’s so simple
      Sooo Very hard for people to understanding it
      Even those of us that done time in the NG
      Were screwing up records is a fact of life
      In the end
      It’s all there

  38. C2Show says:

    Had to check out that Fort McCllelan board..

    Those guys really went in on Chris Ford. This dude has a warrant out for wire fraud…LOL

    Maybe the dumbass really does live in Colombia?

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Are you serious? Wire fraud?

      That might explain his need to be in the spotlight, somehow.

      • Skippy says:

        So again the stolen valor is just the tip of the sword

      • C2Show says:

        Yes indeed! He was suppose to pay 650k in wire fraud, and his wife I believe was busted too.

        US marshals warrant.

        • C2Show says:

          Oh and apparently he joined the Fort McClellan group just to steal their stories and write that ridiculous book.

        • Graybeard says:

          Hope the US marshals bust him in an area where there are no witnesses, and he resists arrest.

          • C2Show says:

            If he does indeed live in Colombia, he may already have himself some trouble with the Revolutionary Forces of Colombia.

            Fort McClellan folks also got some funny conversations up that he made after he was outed it seems.

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        Well, then he gets no sympathy from me, for any of it.

        Where is ChipNASA with the Wall of Insults????

        • ChipNASA says:

          Ahem….you beckoned?

          Based on Ex-PH2’s invoking the WoI….

          I make the motion for The Wall of Insults®™ to be leveled against Chris Ford; the secret MP and apparently, now, massive clusterfuck of
          deliberate mental illness and shitbaggery.

          SECOND?!

          • Graybeard says:

            SECOND!

          • MrBill says:

            FOURTH!

          • ChipNASA says:

            OK we not only have a “SECOND” but you guys have gotten ahead of me and we already have an “AYE” vote, by TAH Robert’s Rules, only one “AYE” vote needed,

            WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP!!!
            Stand Clear, Mind The Gap and STEEL YOURSELVES…..

            Wall of Insults®™
            FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
            TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
            DANGER CLOSE!!!!
            MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
            TAKE COVER!!!!!

            Chris Ford, fake Army Secret Military Police force member, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken fucker, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping, Cambodian cunt sauce, ball working asshole, Poster-child for abortion, Swallowing Spoo Sampler, shit tonguing, munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, tit, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, lying, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, Bowl of ass soup, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, useless bag of monkey fuck, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, Mayor Grundle of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, snowball, giggling beerflecked canker blossom , maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting fruitcake, putrid, rotting, whoreson whale’s carcass, overzealous polyp burglar, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, moron, Prevaricating Sphincter, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, baby unit, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, terminal crotch infection, asshat, dick pickle, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, steaming bucket of monkeyfuck, catcher not pitcher, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, kutomba wewe, douche & enema nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, schlong juice, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, Milksop, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Pettifogger, donkey raping shit-eater, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck you own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee), No such thing as U. S. Army ‘Secret Military Police’, shitty fake “author”, DD_214 FORGER, NOT a Major, Not Special Operations, Has NO significant awards NOT EVEN A NDSM, got out as a shitbag PFC, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, taint cookie, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, walking shart shooter, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twat, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, cum-dumpster, bucked tooth, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Gerbal Felcher, dingleberry, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, sack of siberian sheep shit, mangina micropeen, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with Bernath’s used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.

            FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!

          • Claw says:

            If anybody deserves the Wall Of Insults, it’s that little Miss Reality Winner.

            The little bitch sold out her country.

            This Ford nut bag is just too much of a wackadoodle to waste a perfectly good Wall on.

            JMHO.

            • Graybeard says:

              IMHO cute little Miss Reality Winner deserves her own customized WOI with extra toppings.

              • ChipNASA says:

                I think that I agree but one time when I mentioned deploying a WoI against an individual of the female persuasion that many thought deserved it, Hondo and Jonn pointed out that I leave that to the Lionnesses of TAH as it may have the appearance of impropriety and misogyny.

                /jes sayin is all.
                //and the Ladies here have a very delightful eloquence

                • Claw says:

                  Ah, Yes, I had forgotten about the Lioness factor.

                  I withdraw my nomination and opinion.

                  • ChipNASA says:

                    Oh I’m sure it’s all good.

                    I’m hoping Toasty and/or Ex-Ph2 read this because I really like seeing them talk dirty.
                    *smirk*

                • Graybeard says:

                  Ain’t no smackdown like a Lionesses of TAH smackdown.

  39. Frank Lopez says:

    Chris M. Ford is a con artist who steals people money. he should not be trusted, nor Luz Myriam Ford. They live in Bogota Colombia and are wanted by US Government.

    STAY AWAY FROM THESE THIEVES.

    Chris M. Ford es un estafador que roba el dinero de la gente. No debe ser de confianza, ni Luz Myriam Ford. Viven en Bogotá Colombia y son buscados por el gobierno de los Estados Unidos.

    Mantente alejado de estos ladrones.

  40. Motorheadache says:

    I know this guy! Would rather not say how but this guy has been defrauding people for years! I know for a fact that he incarcerated for a while in Florida for fraud. There is so much more but this guy needs to behind bars would like to help anyway possible.

    • Sarah Hilderman says:

      chris ford is still committing fraud, he has a parole violation and is wanted in USA with bench warrant. He is hiding in Bogota, they dont have extradition other than drugs.

      He recently started scamming people with a IPTV/facebook clone site. Please be aware and stay away from this man.

  41. stacy Jean says:

    fordentinc@gmail.com

    Good Morning to all you faithful followers,

    (I am sending you this email from G MAIL as I wanted to make sure you all got it. )

    First, I want to thank each and everyone of you who signed up and have stayed loyal to our cause. We will continue to support you and all the freedom of speech endeavors that you and I are here for. We have been getting a great deal of feed back on the system as per signing in. Please if you are having trouble signing into your account send CS@VETERANSTODAYTV.COM and email.

    I wanted to point out to you that we will be changing our name from Veterans Today TV to ULIVE NEWS today. Do not worry your logins and passwords will be retained on the new system. Only thing that changes is the name and the logo. Apparently there was to much grief over using the Veterans Today TV Name (in reality that is what the national networks and Dish Networked liked So they could put us beside AFN which is (Armed Forces Network) it actually had nothing to do with the Content belonging to veteranstoday.com.

    Today at 2pm EST the http://www.veteranstodaytv.com website will be redirected to http://www.ulive.news that redirection will remain in effect until all users are custom with the name change. One thing we never wanted with our service was to be pinned as a bad media example. as we have been getting many emails from the users to do this to protect ourselves.

    I will also be speaking live on out TV System to our users to explain this move to the new name and to answer their questions about the site and what it has to offer. The will be a chat box beside the live video where you can use your first name and ask questions. Trolls are welcome to ask questions also, but ask a troll question and you will get a troll answer. This will be simulcast on other networks as well. e.g. YouTube, Facebook, and VEMO and other IPTV companies around the world. This will also give you insight as to how the Live TV system works from ULIVE.NEWS You are welcome to promote us on any page you think is necessary to help our cause.

    If you are planing to be involved in the live broadcast please be respectful of other people who will be watching and involved as well. This live video broadcast will be available on your PC and on your Cellular Phone for all to see at 4PM EST at http://livetv.ulive.news please plan to be there and listen in. I will try not to take up much time. This will also be a live Video feed.

    Remember…You will be able to ask questions and express your ideas about the system and what you would like to see added to it.

    If you are a Federal Employee and you do not like what we are fighting for you are welcome to do what you would do at home, and that is Turn The Channel. This is the freedom of speech I will protect for my 2,915 (as of 10am This morning) users and growing strong.

    A very wise woman told me once while I was in high school…..”Anything your mind can conceive and believe, You can achieve.” That came from my mother. I still believe in that theory and I think we are living proof.

    As I said before we believe in the freedom of speech and to believe in such we must afford the next person the same liberty or we are hypocrites just like the ones who we are fighting against.

    Please RSVP to this email so we can get a good count of our users that will be there.

    Thank you and God Bless,.

    Chris Ford

  42. stacy Jean says:

    Hello,
    I just wanted to make sure everybody got last Nights Letter, Sorry to sending you twice if that has happened.

    Enjoy if you have not read it yet.

    Good Evening,

    My name is Chris Ford, I am one of the owners of Veterans Today TV Corporation. I wanted to take a few minutes to explain the concept behind the system we call Veterans Today TV, Spoiler Alert!!!, NO, we were not attacked by Iran or gassed by Syria or was dealt an underhanded deal from Israel or shot at by the man in the grassy knoll or hacked by Mossad Terrorist, Sadly the truth is not all that dramatic or full of all the conspiracy stuff that we read everyday. BUT!!!!

    A few months ago, one of my companies co-owned with XXXXX, (Comet Mobile Media Corporation) was hit by a DOS (denial of service)attack on our network here in Bogota Colombia. Our server racks are located in the Level 3 data center and were connected to a router that also served the traffic of two major national banks in Bogota. When this DOS attack took place targeting our server the load from the data-stream was so immense that it destroyed a commercial Cisco router, not only taking our servers offline but also forcing the banks offline as well until Level 3 was able to replace the router. After hours of searching through network analysis and data recorded by computer forensic software we were able to break down the vast network of nearly 200,000 virtual servers tied together using a combination of VPNs around the globe and identify the originating IP address giving us a physical location where the attack initiated from. One thing you have to understand is you can hide behind a VPN all day long. But the originating IP address you cannot change. The IP address came back to the Veterans Affairs located in Washington DC Downtown, Currently there is litigation to commence a lawsuit against the VA, from the two banks and Veterans Today TV for damages in the neighborhood of $1.2 billion. If it goes to a case number trust me I’ll tell you what the case number is. We actually believe they’ll settle out. The people behind the attack were the same ones you’ll find on Facebook that like to attack other soldiers or veterans that speak the truth about things that happened to them while serving in the military. Not to long later this same group of people attacked Veteranstoday.com. The Technicians at Level 3 Communications was able assist the Comet Mobile Media Technicians in tracing that attack on VT only to discover that it also came from the same group of IPs within the Veterans Affairs in Washington D.C. I can assure you that this was not an international attack against us or them or an Middle Eastern Terrorist Group Conspiracy. The people behind this attack used a chain of Virtual Private Network systems know as VPNs and were simply only trying to silence V.T. from releasing some of the great articles they have and stop Comet Mobile Media Corporation from opening its IPTV service to the World. I can swear to you this as I know three of the responsible parties involved at that VA and they would not know a Mossad Terrorist from a CIA Operative. Never really trusted either one of those groups but, I digress. That explains how unintelligent these people really are by exposing their network address to Level 3 / Century Link. What I actually think is funny is that the Veterans Affairs Administration is also on Level 3 Communications Fiber and they actually thought they would get away with it. Those 3 people I spoke of earlier are currently under Suspension while this whole Bank/Comet Mobile Media Situation is being investigated by non other that the FBI…Personally I would prefer Detectives Mulder and Scully to do this investigation, Maybe they will find E.T.s involved. hahahahahaa That a radio signal from Mars put the 3 guys up to it.

    The same people on Facebook came after me as well for some books that I had written much earlier than the soap opera stated above. Only difference is, this time we caught them and did something about it as back then Facebook would not do anything about the cyber bullying. This led me to create technology in cooperation with the Two largest National Banks in Colombia in addition with Level III Communications who is now Century Link to develop a firewall and encryption so tight that it is illegal to have in the United States as a business service or as a consumer. This encryption is 512 bits and took me two years to write it. The only encryption close to this allowed in the United States is 256 bit encryption. We also have pre-firewalls in additional the same firewall system that the National Banks in Colombia have. Now for you to log into that from the United States is 100% legal, the only thing illegal about it would be to run that type of encryption inside the United States or on American soil as service. As our company is in Colombia, we are not bound by those laws or ones that would require the turning over of documents or text files to the United States Government for their review of what you have been talking about. Our attorneys have researched and verified on both the United States and South America that this is self evident. Not even a federal judge can order us to turn over Corporate Documents, emails, texts or chats from our users, as all these transactions are done on Colombian Soil. Your security and privacy is our primary concern.

    I also would like to clear up a few misunderstandings, we are not part of Veterans Today. We have partnered with them to put their content on our system to protect. It is not only their content are we protecting, we are also protecting other editors who feel the same way about getting real news to our users and their followers before it is censored or deleted by the large social media companies. We plan to give these Corporations that are violating our rights a good run for the roses. Why? you ask, BECAUSE WE CAN!!!! and when I say we I mean You and I also.

    Veterans Today TV is a Legal Corporation registered in the United States and in South America. We are working closely with Time Warner who is now Spectrum, Dish Network and Charter Communications to put Veterans Today TV live on the Cable National Network and Satellite TV and surprisingly on AFN (The Armed Forces Network). We have a process that we must follow to show that we have the ability to sustain a viewership we must have over 100,000 subscribers per month for three consecutive months minimum before they will open up the channels for us and put us on the National Television Networks, inside the United States, and on Satellite TV. This last Friday I negotiated four channels for live feed to run 24/7, 7 days a week with these content providers. Using Comet Mobile Media’s connections in the media broadcasting industry XXXXX and I were able to pull this together for our editors and users as long as we meet the criteria.

    I have also been asked by other users what will it take for Veterans Today TV Corporation to roll over and turn into one of the conglomerates that we are fighting with now. And I have told all the users that asked that question. The same thing I will tell you now. “America, does not print enough money! to bribe us!” I am not your judge I am not a dictator nor will I pick and choose what editor comes on this network or stays off. That defeats the principal of the entire reason this site was created for, a real freedom of speech site. Nobody that works with Veterans Today TV Corporation will do that to another editor or content provider or a user this is your site also. If you do not like an editor or how someone writes or what they are saying, Do what you do at home on the TV, turn the channel. (Read another Blog) not everybody will agree with what they see or read. But just because we do not agree with the blog or statement don’t mean we have to read it. This is not a basher site or a drama site. We will respect what the other says. No matter how crazy or full of crap we know it can be. HAHAHA That is what freedom of speech is and freedom of expression is. And to live by that right we must afford the other person that right as well.

    I am an American Veteran from the United States Army Military Police Corps, I spent my career protecting my country and my people. Like you and other Veterans, I believe in my country in my people but as for our government or federal agency’s it is not worth the water to flush them down the toilet. So, this is my way of giving back to my people and presenting them with the security, the freedom of speech, the right to expression, and everything else that is being taken away from you in your personal lives, on the Internet, and at your workplace.

    We are also being reached out to by other large groups who want the same security and protection that Veterans Today TV has developed. The owners of Veterans Today TV Corporation feel, that you are more important to be protected first, once you and this site is running perfect, we will look to other endeavors from other groups that want the same protection you have. And use this technology to protect what our forefathers and the soldiers who fought and died over the last 242, for you, me and every walking soul in the United States of America to have. Pure American Freedom as that is our right since the day we were born, that not many other countries in this beautiful world has.

    I would also Like to give you the list of what Veterans Today TV Corporation offers it’s users,

    512 bit Encryption Security

    512 bit Encrypted Email

    Our very own veterans today TV tube that competes in every way with the conglomerate that’s out there now. We have the same technology we just re-created the wheel to make a secure.
    Secure telephone service, you can make calls to any member inside our technology, and no one will be listening in on you or recording your conversations, once we have enough users I’ll be able to open that line up to the outside world but you will receive a dedicated phone number for yourself.

    Secure live TV service, our editors are putting together veterans today TV live channel that you can watch 24 hours a day, seven days a week, if you want to contribute to that service please reach out to us. Your content will be used on the national networks and the satellite networks once we implement that and are proved to put it in place after meeting the requirements. (I will be doing live shows on Friday evenings for you guys to tune into and get a laugh I am not a broadcast but I sure am going to try because I believe in this product is much as you do.)
    The freedom of your expression, no one on this site will bash you for how you feel. We do not put up with. As with our competitor, they let it go on and on and on and this is for a reason I think we all know why.

    We also have the ability, to create an unlimited amount of radio stations that will be rebroadcast, on 106.1 FM here in Bogota, where there are 362,000 Americans, and on one of the largest providers of radio stations on the Internet, as shout cast and Tune In our working directly with us, additional it is a possibility once we have the users that we can get our own radio station on XM radio as well. Dish network’s conversation with me Friday led to that option for us.

    As I said above we welcome the content from other editors or providers or users in video format, MP4 preferably. To put on our site and give you the exposure and the freedom to express your feelings or to put out your information on the network TV system. Any thoughts or ideas from any of you are welcome with open arms. The national cable companies in the satellite companies have offered their assistance in editorial broadcasting so that we can understand over the course of time how to do this correctly so it looks very well on TV once we make it that far.
    I’m very proud, of the people who have joined and want to say personally thank you very much from the bottom of my heart that you are willing to step forward and take control of your constitutional rights.

    I personally want to thank XXXX, XXXX, XXXX, XXXX, XXXX and XXXX for their hard work and belief that this product, as it is the only one of its kind in the world will set the standard for the people of the United States of America to stand up for their rights.

    God bless all of you, your Children and Families and Thank you very much for your time,

    Chris Ford

    p.s. I am not a writer so please forgive any grammar or honest mistakes this letter has. I am just trying to convey to you information so that you understand we are a real corporation and have real goals and your security and constitutional rights, are the first thing that we hold sacred and will protect with all the fight we have. I Promise You That as a Veteran of the Armed Forces of America.

  43. stacy Jean says:

    Chris Fraud