John Scott; phony SEAL

| July 25, 2017 | 55 Comments

Someone on Capitol Hill got suspicious about this fellow, John Scott of Inwood, West Virginia (about halfway between Winchester, VA and Martinsburg, WV). Apparently, he’s been telling tall tales of his derring-do in the halls of Congress and someone didn’t like it. He claims that he earned a Purple Heart in Kosovo, that he was a sniper and suffers from PTSD, according to folks;

The Navy says “Who?”

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (55)

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  1. Dapandico says:

    The sniper shooting at Hillary when she landed in Bosnia?

  2. Tallywhagger says:

    Another specimen from Hillary’s basket of deplorables.

  3. OldManchu says:

    What the fuck? A Wyatt Earp mustache AND… a soul tip? At the same time?

  4. Ex-PH2 says:

    Asswiping ass hamster.

  5. Jay says:

    He was the one who shot at Brian Williams plane. It all makes sense now.

  6. Sj says:

    Is he a congrescritter? Staffer? ? (Im in an undisclosed location with tin can and string commo so can’t googlefoo it. Barely get YAH to open)

  7. Graybeard says:

    Bet I can guess which political party he identifies with…

    • Silentium Est Aureum says:

      Doesn’t matter. Jonn, et al, will light up all proven ohonies, regardless of political affiliation.

      Just look at some of the folks that have been highlighted over the years who hold office. Neither party is safe or above getting called out.

  8. IDC SARC says:

    On the positive side, better a never-served gnardgargler, than a embellishing veteran.


  9. Jonn Lilyea says:

    I want to give you more information on him, but I just can’t at this point.

  10. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    GREAT SCOTT, another phony baloney with a bad hair growth under his schnozola.

  11. Combat Historian says:

    Has Jonn nabbed a high-level congressional phony? We await with popcorn ready…

  12. Skyjumper says:

    I could be wrong, but I think he’s this Cyril de Bergerac feller. Willing to bet my JD that his nose is not the only thing that grows when he gets to talking about his phony military derring-do wells.

    Jonn, are you sure he’s not from Inbreed, WV instead of Inwood? 😉

  13. Green Thumb says:

    Think “Pedophile”.

    I would keep this maggot away from kids.

    And out of the Men’s room.

  14. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Another pisspants glittery gargoyle gonad-gazing thumb sucking Men’s Room toe-tapping Swamp Donkey as well as a….


  15. Does he have drinks at a local congressional watering hole and share war stories with Dic Blumenthal ? maybe they fudgepac each other, I’m sure they have bonded

  16. JDM says:

    Must have been HRC door gunner in Bosnia?

    COL David Hunt blew that bs story up.

    Hey if HRC can do it then they say why not me?
    Like the time she said she was named after Sir Edmund Hillary except she was 5 years old already.

  17. mr. sharkman says:

    The # of guys (Army, Navy, USMC) claiming counter-sniper time in that part of the world at that time is small, and they all know each other.

    Narrowing the field by claiming to be a Teamguy taking part in such activities at that place and time = idiocy.

    ‘PTSD’? Save such sympathies for the locals. They all have a legitimate claim to said affliction, in my opinion.

  18. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    He looks like the type that enjoys juicy bananas and squirting sausages.

  19. Lurking Vet says:

    Did a congressional staffer search, didn’t pop up in any offices under his name

  20. Robert Fields says:

    He is not a staffer. Worked up on Capitol Hill.

  21. Patricia chapple says:

    Unfortunately I know this guy personally. It’s unbelievable and deplorable that he would pose as any military member. During his supposed time in the military he was a Navy dependent husband.

  22. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Okay, that’s it, I hereby make a motion for John Scott the phony SEAL to receive The Official TAH Wall of Insults®™, Somebody please post a Second to the motion and an “AYE” vote!!!

    • Josey Wales' Redbone Hound says:


      • ChipNASA says:

        Apparently I missed this one but better late than never.

        We have a second …do we have an AYE Vote??

        Also Thanks Ken and Eric. I hope you guys and Jonn can follow up with move information.

        • HMCS(FMF) ret says:


          LOCK AND LOAD THE WOI!!!!

          • Graybeard says:

            talk about a friggin’ zombie thread…

            • ChipNASA says:

              ZOMBIE Threads are BEST THREADS
              😀 😀 😀

              Seriously, it’s great when someone comes in to follow up with *positive* information, probably based from GOOGLE Fame.

              Second, if it’s the individual the thread is about trying to come in and follow the TAH good phony soldier handbook and wave their lawyer or dick around, or even better Sockpuppet, that’s even more fun!!!
              😀 😀 😀

          • ChipNASA says:

            Hey Johnny Jizzbag,
            Try shaving that 3 musketeers pedo mustache off, TAKE OFF THAT TRIDENT, Stop taking shit, apologize because ground forces are a commin’.


            Wall of Insults®™
            (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
            FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
            DANGER CLOSE!!!!
            MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
            TAKE COVER!!!!!
            John “Snot” Scott Phony SEAL, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping ass fungus nugget, Bag of seasoned dog shit, Cambodian cunt sauce, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, suck a big diseased gorilla dick and open those ass cheeks for the bull elephant that has been eyeing your lying ass, Poster-child for abortion, This twat waffle is dumber than a bucket of goat piss, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, Dick Swallowing Jerk Wad Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection, Klootviool, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, Anus tonguing shitslurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching wanktoaster, pud-knuckling pus-nuts, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, short strand DNA ‘tard, a bathroom selfie loser, fake “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet, Cuntosaurus Rex, not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside, dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion. You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, petrified shit biscuit, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, wait of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON?? Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as anSBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) , Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, Fair suck of the sav, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, baby cave, analconda, chodeyodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, bread loaf end slice, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Bellicose ball gnashing raper of babies with rabies, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, turbo douche & enema nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, 100 retarded monkeys could jerk off in a stagnant swamp and generate a better life form than you, You are about as useful as a knitted condom, schlong juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee) NOT a SEAL, NO Purple Hearts, NEVER SERVED in the NAVY, planetary level atomic flaming douchebag, Santorium, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Rumpleforeskin, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tappingglory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, YOU’RE THE REASON ALIENS COME TO EARTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STICK THINGS UP OUR ASSES BECAUSE EVEN ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS CAN’T FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Fiction-flinging Gerbal Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, you lying sack of mosquito, Siberian and of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.
            FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
            Can I get an AMEN?!
            (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
            Here endeth the lesson.

  23. Concerned Citizen says:

    I know this guy too. He’s been blind in one eye from approx.the age of 3.
    If you’re going to fake being something you aren’t,at least make it believable.
    The US Navy isn’t so hard up yet that they are accepting blind men into the SEAL program. Geesh.

  24. Eric Simpson says:

    John Scott is currently managing a Roy Rogers restaurant on King Street in Leesburg, Virginia. On his job application and resume, he claimed to be a veteran. Someone should contact upper management and let them know who they really hired.

  25. PRCS(AW/SW) Ret. says:

    Speaking as a West Virginian, it pains me how many of these asshats reside in my home state. There’s a real trend. Appalachian inferiority complex? I just don’t know.

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