Stephen Eytel; phony SEAL

| August 17, 2017 | 77 Comments

Someone sent us their work on this fellow, Stephen William Eytel. I guess he’s some sort of professional ski bum, but he also claims to be a former Navy SEAL according to the bio on his website;

According to folks who know him, it’s one of the first things he tells them when they meet. But, the Navy doesn’t remember training him to be a SEAL;

The Navy barely remembers training him for anything during his four months of service. He should stick to being a ski bum and give up the SEAL schtick.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (77)

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  1. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Looks like one of those “failure to adapt” discharge types, which is equal to being a SQUEAL “operator”.

    Cocksucker!

  2. Combat Historian says:

    Need a decision from Claw on whether this clown comes in above or below the Gunga Dan Line. Either way, the douchebag was never a SEAL…

  3. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    EYE tel you that this guy is another SEAL phony, no pun intended.

  4. Wilted Willy says:

    What’s with all the phony SEALs lately, don’t the Rangers deserve some love too? This little ass hamster couldn’t even pass as a good fake! He doesn’t even have a Harley@!

  5. OldManchu says:

    Damn it! Just as Army was gaining some ground with the recent influx of phony green berets, we have these phony SEALs showing up and wiping out any gains.

    Go Army!

  6. OldManchu says:

    Wait a minute… he IS a SEAL. See that helmet he’s wearing in the ski pic? Isn’t that a SEAL helmet from the Battle of Mogadishu?

  7. Ex-PH2 says:

    I’m disappointed that we never see and phony combat camera people, no phony SeaBees, no phony field medics. The stories they could tell! If only they had some imagination and a few working brain cells!

    There I was, sitting at the bar in Smelly’s Happy Assed Bar & Grille when this hunkalicious dude walks in from the cold and rain. He grabs a bar stool and some paper napkins and wipes the rain off his face.
    ‘Whadd’ll ya have, stranger?’ says Smelly.
    ‘Whaddaya got?’ he asks.
    ‘Booze and food,’ says Smelly. ‘Anything else, you go elsewhere.’
    ‘You give a discount to Fleetsters?’
    ‘Sure. You got a valid ID?’ She looks skeptical, but points one thumb at the sign over the bottles of Farakkian whiskey and Orion rum.
    He pulls out his packette and shoves it across the bar. ‘I’ll take food,’ says he.
    Smelly looks at his ID, then at him. ‘Earth? Huh. You’re sure a long way from home, sailor.’ She sends the order off to the kitchen and puts a mug of hot cider in front of him. You should try her Spam hash.

  8. sj says:

    You’re not giving him full credit for his service. You said 4 months. It was 4 months and 4 days. He did his SEAL training during those 4 days. /sarc

  9. Mark Lauer says:

    Well, sliding down a snow covered hill with planks on your feet is ALMOST like being a SEAL, so I guess we can give him a pass.

  10. ChipNASA says:

    With all his skiing activities, I’m surprised he didn’t claim 10th Mountain Special Northern Warfare Trained Special Frozen Feces Operator Green Berets Special Unit Commando Airborne Tactics
    Specialist Tactics Unit Battalion.
    /nod to Agent Orange Murphy

  11. Former EM1/SS says:

    He constantly balances two balls on his chin

    Like a seal….

  12. Skyjumper says:

    Awww, come on now, leave the guy alone. He is a legit Navy SEAL.
    Didn’t you read about the secret mission where he was snowboarding on the Registan Desert in Afgan taking out Nazi’s after bailing out of a single engine aircraft that was low on fuel, blowing up Aloha Snackbars, tossing flaming squirrels into Taliban ammo dumps, and battling hand to hand with insurgents using the “shovel technique” he learned from a guy who trained Russian soldiers? Naaa, me neither.

  13. lily says:

    He probably works as a security guard and puts down the real vets for their service by pretending to be a SEAL. He’s so butthurt for his failure he goes out of his way to get them fired.

  14. BlueCord Dad says:

    I’ve run into a couple of these knuckleheads. Soon as I ask what their Class number was and they say “It’s top secret” I just walk away. Assclowns.

  15. Carlton G. Long says:

    He graduated Seattle MEPS with High Honors. He was promised an immediate Vice Admiral posting after basic, but the Navy then said they could only post him as a Rear Admiral during the first 90 days, so he walked as soon as he became a full-fledged SEAL.

  16. spd0302 says:

    I believe this may be his “women and veteran owned business…

    http://www.cascadetreewa.com/about-us.html

  17. AZtoVA says:

    Make him participate in Hell Week, without the Bell. To the Mud Flats, with Ye!!!!

  18. Ex-PH2 says:

    Right now, all the pictures are gone and his website seems to be missing, too. Caught, pants down.

    I’m letting this one go. He may turn up later, you know.

    I have no interest at all in destroying someone’s livelihood as long as it’s legitimate and the info is verifiable. Sponging off the history of real vets has to be stopped and made unprofitable.

  19. 11 Bravo says:

    Imagine this ass clown putting down a real Veteran!
    His seal code name was, 2 balls on chin.
    What a piece of garbage. Wait a minute, he would give garbage ah bad name.

  20. jdm says:

    wait till Mondays eclipse and watch out!
    dang they just multiply!

  21. Skidmark says:

    After reading through this yesterday I googled this guy, as a life long skier and a 25yr ski instructor, I don’t appreciate him giving us a bad name too.
    One of the 1st things that popped up was this guy representing a telemark binding company, so I emailed them this link, They replied to me with this uplifting message;

    “Thank you for contacting and informing us. We have taken his athlete page down from our website and will investigating these claims.”

    Thank you.

    Peter Van Dyke
    Bishop Binding Co
    970.306.6123 (O) | 970.376.8914 (C)
    bishopbindings.com

  22. Green Thumb says:

    Four months service = substandard discharge.

    Shitbag.

  23. Silverback says:

    This guy must be telling some good stories on the chairlifts. He’s a real modern day WARRIOR!!! lol Looks like this photographer ate it up and debuted him on his warrior blog.

    http://www.warriorswithwesthusing.org/archives/1260/stephen-eytel-vail-co-photo-bjorn-bauer

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