Christopher Norwood; phony EOD

| September 6, 2017 | 49 Comments

The folks at Military Phonies send us their work on this Christopher Norwood fellow. He claimed that he was US Navy EOD in a conversation on social media;

It looks like he’s in the Army Reserves as a truckdiver after an honorable stint in the Navy as a sonar operator, not EOD;

You know there’s a motorcycle and a vest involved;

He’s still young enough to do the EOD thing, since he likes to brag about it. I won’t hold my breath though.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (49)

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  1. Combat Historian says:

    Since he’s in USAR now, he should sign up for Army EOD training ASAP; it’s never too late to fulfill your dream, kid…

  2. sj says:

    Florida again. Doo Rag. Vest. Bike. Dog????

    Rocketed all they way to E-3 in 4 years? Wow.

  3. Yef says:

    Very high speed in that picture with the muzzle loader musquet with iron sights and the side arm almost below his knee.

    Somebody watched that stupid movie that got a bunch of Oscars lying about EOD, and now wants to be a hollywood hero.

  4. Thunderstixx says:

    Take a dump all over a perfectly good US Military career…
    Moron…

  5. OldManchu says:

    He’s EOD all right….

    Expert on dicks.

  6. CCO says:

    A person could get blown up doing something dumb like lying about that.

  7. Tallywhagger says:

    I wonder if Chelsea Manning knows about him. The usual posers typically have a motorcycle–and tattoos. Ah well, at least he has the vest and some headgear.

  8. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    That boy looks like he just barely finished puberty, let alone becoming an EOD!

  9. Sapper3307 says:

    CVMA it time to recover that CVMA property.

  10. Mick says:

    In the Book of the Face conversation thread posted above, he’s also claiming to be a medical drop (shin splints) from BUD/S Class 419, which one of the commenters who is challenging him states won’t actually start until sometime in 2025.

    So, we have a motorcycle, a doo-rag, a leather vest covered in poser bling complete with a Confederate flag, phony claims of having attended BUD/S, and phony claims of being in Navy EOD.

    Totally legit.

    Rock on, my man.

    Rock on.

  11. Ex-PH2 says:

    Gee whiz, I watched ‘Bomb Patrol’ on G4 and that gave me a real aversion to messing about with explosives. Does this dodo have any sense at all?

  12. Jonp says:

    Is he in CVMA VA? How?

    I drive a truck now, there is nothing wrong with it kid although it is a big let down from my days as a Ranger/Recon/SEAL/Rescue Diver/Space Shuttle Door Gunner-Co Pilot

    • Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

      As a Space Shuttle Door Gunner, how does one keep from floating around in zero gravity when trying to get a bead on a Zero with the big red meatball on its side coming in for an attack.

    • Cris says:

      I see lots of CVMA folks sporting the Navy/Marine Corps CAR patch with US Army or US Air Force written underneath it. I can see if one was attached to a Navy/Marine unit that was awarded one, but from the amount of members I see wearing it, I think it’s being used as a generic symbol to show they’re a “combat” vet. From someone that was actually awarded one, it kind of irks me to know that a group that professes itself to be combat veterans might be doing this. It would be the same if I wore a patch with the CIB, CAB or Air Force Combat Medal to denote combat action. They’re club patch should be enough to let folks know who and what they are. If I am wrong, someone enlighten me.

  13. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Someone should set up an operations bunker with one of those large plotting tables that the Brits used during WW2 to plot the locations of the ship convoys, but use this to plot all the wannabe Special Forces, Rangers, Seals etc. from the States that they reside in. Sound powered phones would really make this neat.

  14. Docduracoat says:

    Bomb patrol was a great show!
    The kid driving the robot and the older guy gingerly stepping out of the Mrap to look at the suspicious wire on the ground
    It was nerve wracking just to watch them!
    Every time they came under enemy fire, everyone is always looking all around saying ” where is it coming from?”
    Seems like they should have had a shot spotter

  15. Silentium Est Aureum says:

    Shin splints will get you med drop from BUD/S?

    Learn something new every day.

  16. EODJay says:

    What a dickhead. He’ll be famous in the EOD community very soon.

    • Tyryndyr says:

      ROFLMAO… Famous in the EOD community? Not likely… we got so many Army EOD wannabe posers trying to sound kewl, that an ENTIRE BRANCH of the Army(Engineers) claim it once they get out… we don’t have a fuck to give about this little lesser mortal.

      • EODJay says:

        Well aware of all those fucksticks. Seeing as we have a large number of EOD brethren in Florida, I’m going to share this shit bag with the community.

        • mr. sharkman says:

          Much respect for all EOD, they are truly the unsung heroes of A-stan and Iraq.

          And because of that, Extra Fucks for this guy. He’s stealing valor paid for by a lake of blood and a lot of horrific injuries.

  17. Graybeard says:

    Young and stupid.

    Christopher Norwood cannot even grow a proper phony’s beard.
    Christopher Norwood probably thinks that his experience at the fireworks stand qualifies him for EOD.

  18. Bobo says:

    4 years as a sonar tech and couldn’t manage to get past the E4 rating exam.

    • 1610desig says:

      Would seem so…I see he has a good conduct medal so thinking it unlikely he lost his crow at mast…then again, I’ll leave it to others more schooled than me in Navy enlisted matters…

      • Hondo says:

        My guess is you’re correct – e.g., he never made E4. His USN DD214 above gives his DOR for E3 as 16 Aug 2009. He was released from active duty on 8 September 2012 – over 3 years later.

        Only way he could have a GCM would be to have 3 years consecutive time w/o significant disciplinary issues – like a NJP that took a stripe. Two ways that could happen: (1) reduction from E4 to E3 after already serving 3 years of “good” service, or (2) going from E4 to E3, then serving 3 years “good” service to qualify for the GCM.

        The DOR to E3 on the DD214 rules out option (1). That in turn means he’d have had to have made E4 at around 10 months, than gotten an NJP and lost a stripe nearly immediately thereafter. Any other timing would make it impossible for him to have the requisite 3 years of “good” service necessary for the GCM.

        I suppose the latter is possible, but to me it seems . . . kinda unlikely.

        • 1610desig says:

          Good points as always, Hondo! For some benign reason, I’m rooting for the kid to learn from this and move on…he seems salvageable in the flotsam and jetsam of poser wreckage…I’ve heard many a privileged frat boy tell more lies in a bar than this kid did on social media…and they got laid and he gets eternal internet shame…just doesn’t sit quite well

  19. FatCircles0311 says:

    Easy way to tell if someone was EOD. Did they show up on time? If so they aren’t EOD.

    FYI, John, you’re domain is overran by 3rd party advertisement redirects. Might want to check in on that.

  20. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    I’m guessing that he likes to tongue crust hobo fartboxes in his spare time…

  21. Bill Litvjak says:

    As always, I like the comments made by the VETS, who have had real life experiences. They have worked hard at serving our country and trying to do it the right way, the honest way of serving. I believe so many of us understand how the honest way works. The honest way is never easy and embellishing what you have done never quite measures up to being truthful or honorable. Mr. Norwood, a way you might look at it is, the Adam Beach character in the Joe Dirt Fireworks video says a lot, “I only have sparklers and snakes.” He tells you what he has and likes, not embellishing what you might like to hear!

    John for verification purposes:

    I try real hard not to be a “Good Phoney Soldier”. I have a genuine dislike for men and women who are actively engaged in embellishing their service record. Some people who have never served might say its no big deal if someone embellishes their service record. Just so you know and in regards to my service record, it is documented on my DD Form 214, I have been awarded the Purple Heart and CIB. I know, and am aware that other vets can speak on the subject of being award medals.I wanted you to know! John, I would feel offended if you checked my records through the Freedom of Information Act/Law.

  22. Mark says:

    Who the hell in EOD gets shin splints? What a wuss.

  23. Ex-PH2 says:

    He must have found “Bomb Patrol: Afghanistan” and decided that he was part of that EOD team or something.

    I watched that when G4 first ran it. Some of those explosions were impressive, even from a mile away. That’s not the job I would want, but the REAL EOD guys are Da Bomb!

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