‘Don’t let strippers in your house’

| October 21, 2017 | 44 Comments

Andy11M sends us a link to a story about Billy Swaggerty in Kokomo, Indiana who should have listened to his wife when she told him not to let a stripper spend the night in their home. This stripper had a husband who was in jail at the time. When he got out, they broke into Swaggerty’s home and stole his guns – and the safes that they were stored in;

“I had probably three .22 rifles, two shotguns, numerous pistols, I had an SKS which is .762 millimeter, I had an AK 74 which is a .554 millimeter and I had an AR 15 which I just got for Christmas which is a .556 millimeter,” said Swaggerty, who estimated his guns were worth $10,000.

While the guns were locked in safes, the cabinets were constructed of thin steel and were not secured to the floor meaning two people would be able to move them.

“It wasn’t just her and they better brought a truck because they didn’t put them in a car,” said Haggerty, who found tire tracks in his side yard after the theft.

I don’t think he knows what he had, those are odd calibers.

“Word is is that she went to her drug dealer and sold my guns for $450,” said Swaggerty, who has the name of the suspected purchaser. “My worst fear is one of my guns is gonna kill a child.”

I’m sure that the stripper gave the money to her local church.

Category: Crime

Comments (44)

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  1. OWB says:

    No. Words.

    Well, maybe a few.

    Was the wife still in residence when the burglary occurred? Why?? Seems like the prudent thing to do was leave, with guns and ammo, when the husband brought a stripper home…

  2. Mike Kozlowski says:

    …It’s ALWAYS the stripper you let stay at the house.

    Not that I’m speaking from experience, of course.

    Mike

  3. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Well I guess the STRIPPER CLIPPED the guys firearms.

  4. 26Limabeans says:

    Typical gun safe is sheet metal with sheet rock for fire proofing. Doors look impressive with those fancy dials and push button locks.
    Give me a couple of minutes with a cordless angle grinder and I will have it wide open.
    Put your gun safe in a closet where the sides and back are not reachable.

    • David says:

      Love it when burglars concentrate on the door, especially if it has exposed hinges. Uh, those internal locking bars are your real problem. Exposed hinges are distractors for the mentally challenged.

  5. Ex-PH2 says:

    Dumb? Dumber and dumbest?

  6. A Proud Indfidel®™ says:

    “…TODAY on EXTREME DUMMIES…”

  7. Hack Stone says:

    I don’t know if I want to live in a world where you can’t trust a stripper. I think that SMB (Shake My Booty) would be a more appropriate comment than SMH (Shake My Head).

  8. Hack Stone says:

    She needed the money to pay her college tuition.

  9. MSG Eric says:

    This story just makes no sense at all. I wouldn’t be surprised, but it just sounds way too weird.

    Sounds like he shouldn’t have any firearms if he doesn’t know EXACTLY how many he has and what they are though.

  10. NHSparky says:

    Wife? Stripper? SERIOUSLY?

    Between the guy and his wife, they have fewer functioning brain cells than a severely autistic goldfish.

  11. Animal says:

    There go my plans for this evening. Thanks Jonn.

  12. Ret_25X says:

    I’m betting this story has meth or opiates involved for all parties…

  13. Mr. Pete says:

    So letting a stripper in your house is not a good idea?

    Asking for a friend.

  14. Combat Historian says:

    Stripper clips are good to have in the house. Stripper…not so much…

  15. Geetwillickers says:

    As worried as I am that his guns are now in the hands of certifiable crooks, on the bright side, at least they are OUT of the hands of a certifiable idiot.

    Not sure if that doesn’t balance out the scales at least a little bit.

  16. Dave Hardin says:

    STRIPPERS MATTER TOO !!!

    Just because there is one bad crotch in the crowd does not mean all of them are fishy.

    Support your local strippers, if the wife will let them sleep over…I recommend you keep them both under constant supervision.

    If they get out of hand you can always go Cosby on them.

    • Perry Gaskill says:

      Unless I’m mistaken, the term “stripper” is now obsolete, Dave. I believe proper current usage is “exotic dance professional in the adult entertainment industry.” This is so when you’ve been tucking cash into that sweaty micro-thong next to the quivering giblets, you can tell your accountant later that you’re a patron of the arts…

  17. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Here’s another bright idea, why don’t we pass laws forbidding this theft of firearms? Oh wait, never mind…

    • Ncat says:

      It’s not the theft of guns we need to worry about. We need laws to prohibit convicted felons from using them in crimes. Once the felons know these laws exist, they’ll surely use less lethal weapons when committing other crimes. Problem solved!

  18. Perry Gaskill says:

    Russ McQuaid, the one apparently responsible for this news story, could be a poster boy for why print reporters often can’t stand those who commit TV. At first, I tried to read the account of the stripper gun thief with a level of fairness: maybe the story was rough because McQuaid was having a bad day. But if you do a read-thru a couple of times, it’s fairly clearly a poorly written mess.

    Starting with: Why is it even a news story at all? If the incident happened last Spring, why is Fox59 just now running it?

    Some years ago, the Chicago Tribune columnist Bob Greene used to do feature stories about all kinds of weird stuff. One of his classics, for example, was about a woman who got herself fired for making a photocopy of her naked butt on the office copier. Greene’s stories often didn’t have a timely news hook, but he had the talent to write around it.

    Bob Greene was very funny and a great writer. Russ McQuaid is not.

    • CCO says:

      Was it Patrick McManus who wrote for Field and Stream in the 70s? He wrote the satire of people having to register their throwing rocks (or arms) having lost firearms and the column that included the advice that the best way to get found if lost in the woods was to get naked—he gave an example of that one.

    • Geetwillickers says:

      Perry – I am goint to take a shot at amswering your question. It can all be encapsulated into one phrase used by our wordsmith: “proliferation of guns”. The good repprter found a story that, however oldand irrelevant, gave him an opportunity to slide in some statistics from authoritative-sounding characters to give the impression that the world is quickly coming to an end thanks to gun obsessed, stripper-loving, security disabled idjits like the hapless victim in this story.

      To answer your question Perry, Good Ole Russ is making an offering to the liberal gods hoping to get hoping to get noticed and maybe promoted to writing propaganda for a larger audience than Kokomo, Indiana.

      IMHO anyway.

  19. Ex-PH2 says:

    Why in the blue-eyed world would I want strippers in my house?

    Unless this refers to paint strippers, which come in steel cans, I have no use for them.

  20. rgr769 says:

    It could have turned out much worse for this dude. My brother had a friend who decided to have a stripper/hooker spend the night at his house when his wife was out of town for the week. The first night it was just business; the second night she came back with her hoodrat boyfriend (a blood gang member from LA) and one of his homeys. When wifey came home she found her husband bound, gagged, and stone cold dead with two bullet holes in his head. The husband’s car and all the valuables were also gone.

  21. Dustoff says:

    A stripper “that he knew in passing”. Yeah, I’m sure Mrs. Dustoff would have a good time with that line.

  22. FuzeVT says:

    .554, .545 and .762? Wow, the mechanical pencil I use is .7! That’s one really small gun!

  23. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    When you can’t trust whores and strippers what is the world coming to?

    I mean according to film they all have hearts of gold and only need a decent guy to put them on the straight and narrow..

    Once again Hollywood has no idea of the gritty reality of life, in spite of their claims to the contrary…

  24. David says:

    Well, after some thought, I am willing to concede that his guns were in fact worth all the money and more – the rarity of a .762mm (that would make for a .03 caliber) cannot be overstated. And while I am definitely not, and my wife is sure as HELL not, a strip joint patron – I have met many girls who go to strip joints, some to watch their old man get turned on, some with comments like “oh, my girlfriend got some new titties and I want to see them”. Different strokes…

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