Donald Cakerice aka Donald Waterhawk; phony Green Beret

| November 4, 2017 | 83 Comments

Our partners at Guardians of the Green Beret share their work on this fellow, Donald Cakerice, also known as Don WaterHawk who claims to have served as a Special Forces medic in Vietnam. Yes, there are tattoos;

He claims a Bronze Star with a Valor device, an Army Commendation Medal and a Purple Heart;

His records show that he washed out of the Special Forces Qualification Course, he went to Vietnam, served with Headquarters Battery, 11th Artillery in the 101st Airborne Division. When he came back from Vietnam, he went AWOL and the became a deserter. They tossed him in jail in April 1971 and then booted his ass to the street in July;

No special forces training, no Bronze Star Medal, no Purple Heart, no valor. Also, no Combat Field Medical Badge. Yeah, Florida.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (83)

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  1. Claw says:

    But, but, he has both a Combat Action Badge and an Airmobile/Air Assault Badge in his I Love Me box, so he’s gotta be legit./s

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Claw, is it okay with you if I refer to this snottoad as an expletive deleted asshole?
      I only ask because I was in school and had classes with a guy who’d lost a good friend over there, while this jackass was avoiding helping people who were bleeding to death and needed him.

    • AnotherPat says:

      Claw, I also saw the Bullwinkle Badge and CAB and let out a HUGE *Sigh*, AKA “Not Again”….

      😲😝😟

      • Claw says:

        Oh, Yeah. Did you also note that he threw in the Army Service Ribbon just to add a little Gay Pride into the mix?

        Every badge (except for the Parachutist Badge) he has displayed is unearned.

        • AnotherPat says:

          Claw: Yep. Saw the ASR and other unauthorized fineries…

          Looks as if we have another “Badges and Ribbons and Medals, Oh, My” individual who may have brain hiccups. So sad.

          Was pleased that the Guardians of the Green Berets posted TWICE (with the second post emphasize d in BIG, BOLD letters), that being assigned to the 101st does not earn a Soldier the Air Assault Badge, something you & I have repeatly stated on TAH.

          Now if this Cakerice/WaterHawk (hey, a Scrabble name!) comes back with a 1984 certificate as justification….

          Hopefully, someone is reading this and will stop wearing the AAB or take it out of his shadow box (as well as the Blue Rope of Doom and the Green Tabs) and admit he made a mistake.

          Veterans Day is only a week away…🇺🇸

          • Claw says:

            Donald Cakerice aka Donald Waterhawk rates a big old basic 58 score as a Scrabble name.

            Apply whichever multiplier (2,3,4 or more?) that you feel is appropriate for a Rat Shit Deserter/Sub-Standard Discharge recipient to obtain a final score that is satisfactory in your mind.

  2. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Cocksucker.

  3. lmn0351 says:

    2 words …..YOU SUCK

  4. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    He DESERTED and lied about his service, thus I motion for Donald Cakerice aka Donald Waterhawk to receive The Official TAH Wall of Insults®™.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Cakerice? How about Ricecake instead? Tasteless, crumbly and not worth the bother.

      Add this if you get a chance to, ChipNASA: as worthless as a Toyota airbag.

    • ChipNASA says:

      HI all,
      Back at it…I was on travel.
      WOI on the way….

      Hey Donnie Asscake Waterboy, BOHICA,

      Wall of Insults®™
      (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)

      FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
      TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
      DANGER CLOSE!!!!
      MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
      TAKE COVER!!!!!

      Donald Cakerice “Asscake” aka Donald Waterhawk, “Should be waterboarded”, phony Green Beret and Special Forces medic, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping ass fungus nugget, Cambodian cunt sauce, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, Poster-child for abortion, Swallowing Spooge Sampler, Klootviool, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, shit tonguing, munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, Buttcrackiula, tit, Sharmouta, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, rectal rapee, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as anSBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy poanther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) , Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, Fair suck of the sav, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, baby cave, analconda, chodeyodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, bread loaf end slice, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, douche & enema nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, schlong juice, cum-guzzling gutter butt-slut sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee) No special forces training, no Bronze Star Medal, no Purple Heart, only STOLEN Valor, no Combat Field Medical Badge. Yeah another Florida fucktard, also Deserter and AWOL, jailbird,

      Rumpleforeskin, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Gerbal Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, sack of Siberian and stack of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.

      FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
      Here endith the lesson.

  5. Mr. Pete says:

    He’s a deserter and he goes to jail.

    And Bergdahl gets no jail time?

  6. Hondo says:

    A legit wartime vet who has to crap all over his service by lying about it – as well as being a deserter. Plus, he was a Vietnam vet – and has the last name “Cakerice”.

    No one would believe you if you tried to make up sh!t like this.

  7. Claw says:

    Hmmm, I wonder if this turd went AWOL while on R&R?

    Cause the DFR entry on the 2-1 is a full three weeks before he was eligible to DEROS from Nam, meaning he hadn’t reported back for duty a full month before the entry was made.

    Yeah, that’s the ticket. Went to Bangkok and never came back.

    • Hondo says:

      Whoa – and I thought one night in Bangkok made a hard man humble. (smile)

    • rgr769 says:

      One has to wonder how he would have made it back to the states from R&R with no passport. I suppose if he went to Hawaii for his R&R that would not have been a problem. Usually, only married guys went to HI to meet their wives. I never heard of a guy with no wife or girlfriend to meet there going to HI for R&R.

      • 3/17 Air Cav says:

        rgr769………back in the day there was a program called 7&7 RR. The way it was supposed to work was spend 7 days in Hawaii followed by 7 days in the states. That’s the R&R I took back in November of 1971.

    • Combat Historian says:

      He blue-falconed his unit and his buddies by deserting during his mid-tour R and R? Way to go, shithead…

    • Perry Gaskill says:

      Claw, I’d go with your AWOL during R&R scenario except the timing seems strange. Who would go through 11 months of a year tour, and then skate with three weeks left?

      On the other hand, Cakerice was enlisted as Regular Army, not a draftee, and might actually have been trying to avoid returning to CONUS. Something problematic for those with, say, a drug problem.

      The lack of a passport during R&R also doesn’t seem like that much of an issue. Back then, there were a lot of anti-war groups floating around. Cakerice might have thought if he could get to Bangkok it would be possible to check into the Swedish Embassy and declare himself a political refugee or whatever.

      • Claw says:

        Perry, the way I read his 2-1 is he went AWOL about the end of the ninth month/start of the tenth month of his tour and then was declared a Deserter three weeks before the 12 month tour was up.

        Drug problem? Yeah, I’ll go with that.

        If you look at the final entry on the 2-1, he was granted a full and complete discharge (with no Reserve obligation) after only two and a half years service.

        Also note that the blacked out line after the word Discharged is just a little too long to only contain the word Honorable.

  8. Top W Kone says:

    Interesting that he claims to be of Cherokee hearitage AND a member of the Seneca Tibe (Wolf Clan) meaning his mother is/was a Seneca

    Yet instead of honoring that he claims to be Cherokee, who the Seneca called “cave people” and had a long running war with them. Even today there is a lot of bad blood between them.

    It would be like saying you’re part Albanian from New York City and a member of MS-13

  9. REMF says:

    An honorable service record prior to turning chickenshit and deserting, now playing dress up hero…………What a shit bag.

  10. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Another Special Feces Butt Sniper…

  11. Why do these old farts insist on wearing their old uniforms 40-50-60 years after their BCD,GD or DD, when obviously they didn’t want to wear it then, when it was appropriate too ?
    This puke hero is just another one of hundreds of JERK OFFs with a premature ejaculation issue in Floreeda
    Don’t get me wrong, I’m an old fart, but I haven’t worn any of my uniforms since my HD, funny how that works out

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Why? Free meals, free booze at local bars or the AL/VFW hall – stuff like that. Paradin’ is one way to get stuff that you don’t deserve, you know.

      • AnotherPat says:

        Ex-PH2: Yep, freebies. The Golden Corral on Veterans Day. Or they just may want attention (Look at me!)

        I still speculate folks such as Cakerice/Warehawk and others do this (bogus awards, umiforms, Branch affiliate, etc) to re-invent themselves in order to cover their shameful past, mistakes they made as young adults.

        And now he is lying about being an American Indian. And pulling the Kneeling stunt against President Trump…and posting it on social media/Internet.

        Dude definitely has brain hiccups (maybe from substance abuse or genetic makeup?), lives in an alternate reality world and has anger issues.

    • akpual says:

      Used to wear the stuff to tar the roof and such. Its long gone now.l

  12. Paul says:

    Hi John, you mention no ARCOM but I thought I saw one in his DD-214 you provide; not defending this turd, just a little confused.

  13. Frankie Cee says:

    I left him some love, in a message at Facebook:
    “I suppose that you will be the pussy, like the rest of the posers, and block me, rather than explain why you have to make your life a pack of lies. Special Forces? Combat Medic? Bronze Star Medal, with V? All bullshit, you phony. What in the Fuck made you feel so inadequate that you had to peddle that pack of lies? Lehigh Acres, eh? I know the place well, but don’t know of anyone there in need of your lies.”

  14. Martinjmpr says:

    I love it when guys claim awards that hadn’t even been created when they were in the service (CAB, AASLT Badge, SF tab.)

    Might as well claim Space Shuttle Door Gunner while you’re at it.

    It’s like when you see someone with a BDU field jacket covered with VN stuff, I’m sure they want you to believe that was the uniform they wore when they were “in the shit” – except that BDUs weren’t a thing until 1981.

  15. sj says:

    487 FB comments in a day. Most, by far, ridicule.

  16. Green Thumb says:

    Substandard discharge.

    Claims Native American.

    Claims SF.

    Claims unearned medals.

    Looks like a biker.

    Florida.

    All-Points Logistics here we come….!

  17. FatCircles0311 says:

    lol @ deserter shitbag with fake moto tats

    Can’t even cover and align his fake awards either.

    What a sad sack of shit.

  18. AnotherPat says:

    Durn it, Jonn. You just had to go and mention Mark Lindsey of Paul Revere and the Raiders singing “Cherokee Nation”…

    https://youtu.be/XZev8fDpiOk

    Now I can’t get that frikin song outta my head!!!😠😲

    So here’s my payback to you:

    Cher’s “Halfbreed” ( When is she ever gonna move to Canada as she promised)

    Sacheen Littlefeather refusing to accept the Best Actor Oscar® on behalf of Marlon Brando for his performance in “The Godfather” (she wasn’t even an American Indian!)

    The Crying Indian Commercial(The actor was Italian and no way an American Indian!):

    https://youtu.be/j7OHG7tHrNM

    Mel Brooks as an American Indian in “Blazing Saddles:

    https://youtu.be/H6nHtEYdy2I

    Or finally, the worst yet, the “American Indian Rap Song” ( I kid you not…you can’t make this stuff up…)

    https://youtu.be/VDzfW9rHiQw

    😎

    • Carlton G Long says:

      Cher never promised to move to Canada. She said she would move to Mars. She blocked me from her Twitter feed when I reminded her of this and called her a whore who couldn’t even hold onto Sonny Bono.

      • AnotherPat says:

        On Cher…My bad again on “Canada”…

        Thumbs up to you tweeting her. Guess she just could not afford a Space Shuttle to Mars.

        Too bad a Go Fund Me page was not set up for her to make that travel.😉

      • Hack Stone says:

        I thought that she said Jupiter, maybe because they have Universal Health Coverage. (Jupiter, and Mars are part of the Universe, the jury is still out as to Earth, probably because of all of the nuts in the Ft Myers area.

  19. Ex-PH2 says:

    Cakerice may have taken down his FB page. The link to it appears to be in the ‘not found’ department.

    So it’s no fun to be caught with pants at ankles, eh?

  20. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Does anyone out there know which spec. Ops phonies are in the lead at the TAH finish line?????????????

  21. aGrimm says:

    Lilyea: Since when did the Army designate someone as a ‘Medical Corpsman’ as noted on this dipshit’s record (Nov 69)?

    • Claw says:

      Don’t want to steal any of Jonn’s thunder, but since at least 1965.

      Officially, by the MOS catalog of the time, 91A was called Medical Corpsman, not an Aidman.

      91B was officially called a Medical NCO.

  22. Wilted Willy says:

    So when this shit bag went to his parents to ask his tribal name, they said, “So, two dogs fucking, why to you ask?” What a low life loser, he ranks right of there with my poser brother, but then again, he is still saying all of his shit is true along with his PTSD disability! All of these lying cocksuckers should be put in prison for life! Fuck Him!

  23. 11B-Mailclerk says:

    Mock-taw

  24. RM3(SS) says:

    This pale pasty faced motherfucker is about as Native American as Casper the friendly ghost.
    Found hisself a cool scam and workin it.

  25. Dean Hoffman says:

    My father was a phony Ranger who also falsely claimed Cherokee ancestry. Some enterprising psychologist should explore the common ground between Cherokee Derangement Syndrome and Stolen Valor

  26. E4 Mafia For Life. says:

    For future reference, none of us who were only in combat (Army) prior to 18SEP2001 are eligible for the Army Combat Action Badge.
    It’s a kick in the groin for us non-11B people.
    I was a 19D and did fight.
    Several efforts were made to remedy this in Congress, including the stipulation that veterans would pay for their own CAB badges.
    The end result was the DOD said too much work would be required for verification. Given the crappy record keeping that takes place, that’s a failry valid argument.
    Our Squadron XO wrote a History of our unit’s actions from deployment to the end of combat in Desert Storm. It was published at TRADOC and taught at West Point.
    I occasionally see non-eligible veterans wear it with their bling but I don’t say anything. Some have earned it. Others I have no idea.
    Are all 11 series eligible for the CIB? Like mortarmen, pre 1981 Scouts (11D)?
    It took me 24 years to track down my CSM and LTC to get my gold combat spurs (I was stop-lossed and went home after the war). It meant quite a lot that the CSM and LTC signed the certificate. Really great that they are both still alive.
    The CAB, not a major loss but the Stetson and spurs are tradition and something to pass down to my daughters.

  27. Animal says:

    Well, I think the heat may be getting to him. He took the video off of his fb page.

    Cocksucker.

  28. Green Thumb says:

    I love this turd’s picture!

    “Man, check this out” as he points down to his shadow box and practices his stare.

    I wonder if that woman in the picture has split from this clown yet?

    Loser.

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