Robert Slinger; not a retired Master Sergeant

| December 18, 2017 | 157 Comments

Someone sent us their work on this fellow, Robert Slinger who claims that he’s a retired Master Sergeant of the US Army. He thinks if he can promise government cheese to the ladies from his cleavage-filled Facebook page, that’s the best way to find himself a wife;

“”This is my official United States Army federal government picture of myself at a younger time in my thirty five year military career,,, Sergeant Robert Carl Slinger of the 19th Special Forces Group of Camp Williams, Utah.””

“”Originally joined the United States Army during the Jimmy Carter presidential administration in late August of 1977, first trained as a military Combat Engineer Demolition Expert, stationed in Aschaffenburg, West Germany in mid April of 1978, joined the United States Army 19th Special Forces Group in Salt Lake County in June of 1983, stationed at Fort Huachuca, Arizona in April of 1987, stationed at the Quantico, Virginia Intelligence agency training school in June of 1988,,, appointment to the John Fitzgerald Kennedy S-Q-9 intelligence operations command center in January of 1993, appointment to the National Security Agency S-Q-9 intelligence operations command center in April of 1997, appointment to the American International S-Q-9 intelligence operations command center, appointment to the local field office of the S-Q-9 intelligence operations center located at the historic Fort Douglas 96th A.R.C.O.M. Army Reserve Command in Salt Lake City, Utah in August of 2007,,, and the remainder of my career in the United States Army is now a sealed military record at the John Fitzgerald Kennedy S-Q-9 intelligence operations command center.””

“”Retired from the United States Army on the day of Friday, 09 November of 2012, and now I am just “”another”” on call retired military consultant, retired American military veteran, retired American military intelligence analysis for the brand new American President Donald Trump administration, but only as a military consultant for counter terrorism operations.””

“”This is my official United States Army federal government picture of myself at a younger time in my thirty five year military career,,, Sergeant Robert Carl Slinger of the 19th Special Forces Group of Camp Williams, Utah.””

Yeah, he’s a real secret squirrel. He was with 19th SF Group, briefly, He was active duty for three years 1977-1980, and once again for training for 3-and-a-half months as an intel guy at 19th SF, but that’s not an official photo – I don’t know of any official photos in which the subject holds a Colt Woodsman .22 pistol. I didn’t get a leather wingback chair, either. I always had to stand.

I doubt that Donald Trump will call on him for some advice on counter-terrorism operations.

According to the NPRC, that’s the extent of his active duty – 3 years and 3-and-a-half months. His NGB-22 says that he left the National Guard in 1999 (not 2012) and that he was a combat engineer Sergeant E-5 (not a Master Sergeant E-8) assigned to 1457th Engineer Battalion in 1993 – that he had 22 years of service in the active Army and National Guard;

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (157)

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  1. OWB says:

    At first glance, was happy that at least we finally had one not claiming special, whoopdy doo, super secret status. But alas, I was wrong again.

    Sure wish the Air Force took official pics of Master Sgts seated in comfy chairs. But, I want mine with something a bit more intimidating than what he’s holding. Mybe there’s a bazooka available in the Bay area.

  2. Doc Savage says:

    So…..leather wingback chairs and fake tree’s were the Official DA photo standard back in the day, huh?

    I must have missed that.

  3. Sapper3307 says:

    That sapper has one dapper photo!
    TURD BALL!

  4. 2banana says:

    Where is the “cleavage filled Facebook page” snapshot?

  5. Claw says:

    COL Ken Crotchrot’s Jeep Driver?

  6. AnotherPat says:

    These is a better picture of him courtesy of US Marshalls in Utah:

    http://www.findmugshots.com/arrests/robert_carl_slinger_id_37772574.html

  7. Sj says:

    Damn. That FB page is eye opening – in a scary way. Until TAH, COPS, and Live PD, I had no idea there were so many nut jobs like him living around us. Dude is unhinged.

  8. AnotherPat says:

    And another great picture of the “Slinger” courtesy of Utah taken in 2014. What a Ladies Man. NOT

    http://www.standard.net/Jail-Mugs/2014/10/25/SLINGER-ROBERT-CARL

  9. Jay says:

    Oh man…that fake ass James Bond pic is GOLD!

  10. Sandman says:

    1000 yard stare?,,,,,,,check
    Porn star stashe?,,,,,,check
    squirrel killer in hand?,,,,,,check
    comfy leather chair pose?,,,,,,check

    Conclusion: legit as a MoFo!

    • HMC Ret says:

      He’s got that 1000 yard stare down like a boss. That is one seriously bad dude, there. The chicks dig that stuff, especially when side-by-side with a picture taken at the time of arrest. What a toad.

  11. NHSparky says:

    Stolen Valor, yet another example of it being the rancid cherry atop the shit sundae.

  12. Bobo says:

    His NGB-22 indicates that his enlistment was terminated in 1993 so that he could transfer to the Active Component. Did the FOIA come up with any AC service after his release from the UTARNG?

  13. AnotherPat says:

    Well, this explains all his Photo Ops taken courtesy of Utah Law Enforement. And he is still rocking the mustache in those recent photos as well:

    http://www.utahsright.com/chargesprofile.php?id=1517361

  14. QMC says:

    Almost reads like a parody account.

  15. M884 says:

    Yah, but is he scoring with the chicks!! That’s all that matters…

  16. tin_can_grunt says:

    What a cute little pistol…

  17. Skyjumper says:

    Just checked out his Facebook page and clicked on his “friends” list.

    Holy crap! Talk about a “target rich enviroment” for IDC SARC! 😉

  18. MrBill says:

    Although there’s little doubt this guy’s an embellisher and a weirdo to boot, there might be a little more to his military record that NPRC didn’t come up with. The Army White Pages at the HRC website lists a Robert Carl Slinger as a retired Staff Sergeant. Sure, it’s possible that it’s a different guy, but given that HRC lists only 13 Slingers, the odds of there being another Robert Carl Slinger are probably not high. Might be worth asking NPRC if they’re sure they’ve provided everything.

  19. An Old Artillery Sgt. says:

    Most the ladies on his page are half his age and are probably scammers looking for a sugar daddy to send them $$$$.. He deserves what he gets..

  20. Black Bart says:

    If that was Bruce Campbell in that first image, just lounging away in that chair, I could accept it. Bruce is debonair.

    This clown is not.

    • NHSparky says:

      And more importantly, Bruce is 1-cool AF, and 2–doesn’t take himself too seriously.

      Neither of which bullshit Slinger here can claim.

      • SSG Kane says:

        I used to believe that. Then I read his two books (“If Chins could kill” and “Hail to the Chin”) and was suprised at just how anti-gun and military he was.

        It really was a case of “You should never meet your heroes”.

  21. Claw says:

    Bob the Shit Slinger finally woke up.

    Facebook blasts are being purged as we speak.

  22. EODJay says:

    This cat is next level nutjob. Reading through his Facebook postings gives a good insight on crazy desperation.

  23. Martinjmpr says:

    Whoa, I just noticed that he was at the intel school at the same time as me (April through August 1987.) I was also a 96B but he would likely have been in the prior service class (which was separate from the IET class I was in.)

    I do recall seeing a few guys in the prior service class wearing green berets, he must have been one of them (at that time, support personnel in SF units did wear the green beret so in that sense the beret is “legit” in that it was an authorized part of his uniform at the time.)

    (Heavy sigh) another SF support guy who decided to shit all over his service with a bunch of BS. As for the James Bond picture, would any actual female human do anything other than laugh hysterically? The only thing missing from that photo is a vodka martini (shaken, not stirred.)

    Numbnuts.

  24. AnotherPat says:

    This is an interesting case/read about him that discusses his National Guard time/weekend drills and pay

    https://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=7577778076433006865&q=SLINGER+V.+BD.+OF+REVIEW+OF+INDUS.+COM%27N&hl=en&as_sdt=6,47&as_vis=1

    • Martinjmpr says:

      Very interesting. Seems the UT department of labor and employment decided not to press criminal charges against him for fraud. I guess they figured the civil penalty was enough.

      Had they done so, no way would he have ever qualified to be a 96B.

      That MOS requires the ability to receive a TS/SCI clearance, which a fraud conviction would prevent.

      He may have lost some money but he dodged a bullet, big time.

      • Martinjmpr says:

        Having said that, I wonder if this would have shown up on his background investigation? It’s been over a decade since I did my last DD398 (or whatver they’re calling them now – SF86, I think) but I don’t remember any specific questions about civil actions. It appears that the action taken against Slinger for defrauding the people of the State of Utah was civil and administrative in nature.

        • OWB says:

          My first reaction was – sure it does! Then, reality kicked in and I have no independent recollection it is does in fact count against a clearance. Sure seems like it used to, though.

          Mumble, mutter. CRS today. Must need more coffee. Yeah. That’s it. Caffeine – NOW!!

    • rgr769 says:

      Thanks for the link. It confirms he was a fraudster and scammer back in 1984. The decision affirms that he misrepresented his income so he could collect unemployment insurance payments to which he was not entitled.

  25. Jeff McMurray says:

    He kinda resembles Saddam Hussein. Wonder if he used Saddam’s posing catalog. And he’s the last of the Mohicans that will save you ladies! Unfortunately I remember having fruit cakes in the military when I was in, that would talk miles of shit. Scary

  26. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    I wonder how many corncobs he stuffed up his ass before he sat for that photo? He’s grimacing like a meat gazer banned from the Men’s Room!

    I make a motion for Robert Slinger to receive The Official TAH Wall of Insults®™.

    • Josey Wales says:

      Robert Slinger – *PTUI*

      Second.

      • ChipNASA says:

        Well we have a request and a Second. Do we have an AYE vote?
        I’ll go and get started.

          • ChipNASA says:

            Annnnnnd we’re off..
            Hey Robbie Bobby Booo Shit Slinger extraordinaire ….
            That’s not a 1,000 yard stare you have, it’s a “who me? it’s my turn in the barrel?!? OK then” look ….you sorry dumbass.
            Enjoy the fame, cuntosaurus

            Wall of Insults®™
            (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
            FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
            TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
            DANGER CLOSE!!!!
            MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
            TAKE COVER!!!!!
            Robert “Bullshit” Slinger NOT Special Forces ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping ass fungus nugget, Cambodian cunt sauce, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, Poster-child for abortion, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, Dick Swallowing Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection, Klootviool, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, Anus tonguing shitslurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching wanktoaster, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion. You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, wait of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON?? Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as anSBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy poanther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) , Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, Fair suck of the sav, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, baby cave, analconda, chodeyodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, bread loaf end slice, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, douche & enema nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, You are about as useful as a knitted condom, schlong juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee) NOT a Master Sergeant, NOT retired and DOES NOT have 35 years of service, is a frecking MENTAL CASE, with a “Who just stuck their finger in my ass” look on this face., a cross between fright and delight, a fellatious felon, planetary level atomic flaming douchebag, Santorium, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Rumpleforeskin, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tappingglory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, YOU’RE THE REASON ALIENS COME TO EARTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STICK THINGS UP OUR ASSES BECAUSE EVEN ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS CAN’T FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Fiction-flinging Gerbal Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, you lying sack of mosquito, Siberian and of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.
            FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
            Can I get an AMEN?!
            (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
            Here endeth the lesson.

  27. Mayhem says:

    Holy crap on a cracker! Nothing screams desperation like prophesizing the end of the world in order to get a date! Whats with the Memorial Day heading plastered on his photo? I thought Memorial Day was a day of remembrance for those that had fallen defending our country?

  28. Sj says:

    I love it that his profile picture is in a “frame from Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library”.

    Imagination alright! Can’t make this shit up.

  29. Dan says:

    With a chair like that I would have worked up to Grand Fleet Admiral of ta Air Force uniform and real armeeer-y gun.

  30. Animal says:

    The scrubbing of his FB page has begun. You might as well deactivate it Robert. Better men than you have gone the scrubbing route and it always ends the same.

  31. NHSparky says:

    Robert Slinger?

    More like bullshit slinger.

  32. Ninja R says:

    I could NOT stop laughing at his Facebook page (number edited by me):

    “”I have No problem with a “new” woman calling me from a Blocked cell phone number,,, mine is; 3xx-2xx-0xxx,, no texting please.””

  33. Mustang Major says:

    First secret squirrel I have seen with a squirrel gun.

    Also, He said he retired on the 9th of the month. I think all Army retiirement effective dates are the last day of the month. Of course, you don’t have to go that deep into his BS to know he is BS.

  34. Rusty Dixon says:

    He wants people to call him. Link is acting wierd, but I screenshotted the post.
    https://s33.postimg.org/mnqy3xx33/Untitled.jpg
    https://postimg.org/image/3vf30d0or/

  35. Dave Hardin says:

    If only I could go back in time and warn people.

  36. rgr769 says:

    When I saw that photo, I wanted to puke. Then I read his Fakebook page. Slinger is apropos for him, since he just keeps slinging it higher and deeper. Back in the mid-70’s there were a number of weak sisters like this guy in the 19th SFG(A). We had a Major who managed to get his whole B-team captured during our AT UW exercise.

  37. Jonn Lilyea says:

    Now I know why so many phonies can’t punctuate properly – Slinger used up all of the commas.

    He claims that we’re jealous of his pretend life now.

    • rgr769 says:

      Yeah, I am especially jealous that I don’t look like him now, as shown in that mug shot of recent vintage taken by the U.S. Marshal Service. We are all likely as “jealous” of him as we are of Ol’ Bernasty and the rest of the DRG.

    • Graybeard says:

      The Dreams of the Delusional.

      Sounds like a bad Cheech and Chong lp

    • OWB says:

      Nope. Not a bit of jealous of any part of his life, pretend or real. ‘Cause, ya know, we can not only use commas, we knows hows ta use ‘postrafixits; semi’s; pairunthetics; and gots us them colons, too.

      Oh, and real MSgt stripes as well. (The earned and issued type.)

  38. swormy says:

    The Army always retires you on the first day of the month except when medically retired. Idiots like this always miss the little things.

    • Claw says:

      No, I don’t think that’s right, cause my retirement certificate and DD214 both say 31 December.

      You are retired on the last day of the month and then placed on the retired rolls effective the first day of the next month.

      • swormy says:

        I stand corrected, you are right. The date on retired rolls is the first of the month.

        • Claw says:

          Yes, Sir, that all has to do with the change-over from active duty pay and allowances to the retired pay you will be receiving.

          It’s all to keep the DFAS civilian bean counters gainfully employed./smile

          • swormy says:

            Yep, I’m dropping my retirement packet and between trying to figure out my terminal leave dates, permissive TDY dates and clearing dates,its been driving me crazy.

            I’m AGR so I have that whole retirement points thing to figure out as well. No wonder HRC wants the packet 9-12 months out. 🙂

            • Hondo says:

              That’s actually reasonably simple, swormy. Take your Total Retirement Points and divide by 360 (not 365), then multiply by 2.5%. That’s the percentage you’ll get of your high-three average (or your final pay, if you’re one of the few “old farts” still serving who first entered military service before they changed to high-three average).

              One potential pitfall: when you end your RC service, you’ll elect either discharge or to go into the retired reserve. Think very hard before choosing discharge over movement to the retired reserve. Electing discharge could end up being quite costly.

              If you elect discharge, your retired pay will be calculated using your high-three average as of the day you are discharged, using the pay tables in effect at that time. If you choose to go into the retired reserve, it’s calculated at age 60, using the pay tables in effect during the 3 years immediately before you begin receiving your retired pay (typically ages 57, 58, and 59). Due to future pay raises that’s almost a lock to be more than it would be if calculated today.

              Only downside is that you technically remain subject to recall while in the retired reserve. But if the US is a desperate enough situation to need to recall retired reservists, hell, I’m guessing many if not most TAH readers who were physically able would be volunteering anyway.

              • swormy says:

                Thanks Hondo, I’m actually in the final pay category (barely), no high three for me.

                I’m looking forward to the next phase of my life, if you would have said to me 38 years ago when I was looking to enlist that will still be doing this I would have asked what you were smoking. 🙂

  39. thebesig says:

    With this talk of the “end of the world”, and subsequent claims of still having access to the National Guard, many would dismiss him as a conspiracy nut. But, Robert Slinger, phony retired Master Sergeant, isn’t satisfied with just shooting his foot just once.

    He goes on to trash his ex-girlfriend, calling her “stubborn, withdrawn, depressed,” and that she was married and divorced three times, and that he would never again get involved with a woman that smokes.

    Robert Slinger, phony retired Master Sergeant, spoke volumes right there. He told any woman reading his profiles that he’s the kind of guy that blames others for his demise. He also told them that he was judgmental. He also promises them future conspiracy whack job stories.

    Many of these women would know somebody that was a conspiracy nut, and would know the circumstances surrounding those individuals’ lives. Also, his trashing his ex-girlfriend, while not explaining his contribution, tells these prospective girlfriends that if they get involved with him, they will go nuts and he would drive them up the wall. He’s better off not talking about his ex-girlfriends.

    His disclaimer, about helping his ex-girlfriends and friends, does not do him much good when he does not explain his part of the problem. Robert Slinger, phony retired Master Sergeant, claims that he’s searching for a long and loving relationship, after describing that he had a long and loving relationship with a woman that he is now trashing.

    This is on top of what others have pointed out here, to include not proofreading his work. His advertisement reflects poor judgment, others here have linked to sites that hint at his poor judgment in the civilian world. Going around and claiming to be something that Robert Slinger, phony retired Master Sergeant, isn’t, is further poor judgment.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if his display of poor judgment prevented him from having the kind of career that he could probably lean on. Thus, attempting to inflate his military experiences to make up for his being a loser in real life. I wouldn’t be surprised if his not pushing for further service had something to do with his disliking being with the military, something precipitated by his poor judgment while at his units.

  40. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Fraudster, liar and bullshitter. I’m also guessing that ROBERT SLINGER loves inspecting two-holes, felching furry four legged creatures and has diend at the BTJT Deli (Home of the WORLD-FAMOUS Cockmeat sammich) numerous times in his pathetic life.

  41. Tony180A says:

    Robert “Bullshit Bob” Slinger eat shit and bark at the moon you lying cocksucker!!

  42. Deplorable B Woodman says:

    “Marshall Law”? Really? (chuckle) (gigglesnort) (GUFFAW!!)

  43. 26Limabeans says:

    In uniform sitting in grandma’s parlor chair looking like someone is pouring him a Brandy.
    Stand up and face the music you POS.

  44. Legal Hacker says:

    From his Facebook page. I checked that cell number. He lists it on Instagram also.

    “”After the completion of my thirty five year military career with the United States Army in November of 2012 my full time retirement has allowed me many possible opportunities.””

    “”I can always be called at my personal cell phone number of; 385-230-0323, and I do Not like text messages at all.””

    “”I am looking, I am searching for a woman who is younger than forty four years of age with blue eye’s or gray eye’s or green eye’s, taller than five foot seven inches tall, and with long straight hair of any color.””

    “”My very unhappy relationship with my stubborn girlfriend Melissa is now totally finished, she is now out of my life,,, I am now ready for a new life with a happy joyful beautiful single White Utah woman who will be happy with the secure life with me that I have to offer to a happy joyful beautiful single White Utah woman who will be happy as my new live in girlfriend.””

    Guess he’s a scammer looking to scam other scammers. Most the females on his page are fake.

    • C2Show says:

      I thought that but I think he is just a headcase.

      Dude is really fucked up in the head. He responds to messages with quotes for some reason. He seems to think Ragner Lodbrok is his great great great…whatever.

      Dude is a psychopath looking for a “live-in girlfriend”, minus dating part. I guess he kidnaps or wants to hold some chick hostage.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      I still wish my ex-Wife upon him.

  45. C2Show says:

    Ole Slingers defense to Jonn and other guy on facebook is pure comedy.

    Slinger: “Go mind your own business”

    I wouldn’t expect much from this guy but more lies. Since he is wiping his fb clean and saying its foolish to post public information about his career.

  46. An old Arty Sgt says:

    One would think that being a MSG and spending 25 yrs active duty, he would have more than one pic of him as an E-5 sitting in a overgrown chair.. Nothing posted HE did claim being in group…right?

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