Christopher Garcia; phony SEAL

| December 20, 2017 | 82 Comments

Someone sent us their work on this Christopher Garcia person who claims in social media that he’s a Navy SEAL;

The picture that he claims is his BUD/S class picture is easily found on Wikipedia and it’s actually BUD/S class 236, Medal of Honor recipient Michael Murphy’s class;

Needless to say, the Navy has never heard of Mr Garcia;

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (82)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. OldManchu says:

    “I’m dead center on top row.”

    When there’s an even number of people… This is a smart one here.

    He looks like he wants to ravage Bradley Mannings repurposed private area.

  2. chooee lee says:

    I like the way he took the photo in the bathroom. Seems appropriate to me.

    • Claw says:

      Gotta love the way the freehand mangina douche nozzle apparatus is just an arm length away.

      Garcia! About Face!

      During this evolution you will learn how to properly cleanse…….

      • AnotherPat says:

        Claw: Notice that he lives in Fort Worth? Wonder if he knows “Killer” Killam, Viet of the Nam Door Gunner(NOT)…😉

        • Claw says:

          Yeah, he probably does.

          Been checking the MHMR Tarrant County website on a regular basis and Killer Killam is still listed as being the Veterans Legal Advisor, so Killam must still be tapping the head shrew to keep his job.

          So much for helping out our vets with the best service available.

          It’s been what, over two years since Killam was exposed? Still waiting to hear from the 1st SEAC’s Sockpuppet report on the VA doctors examination results for those gunshot wounds to Killer’s leg./s

          • Claw says:

            Oops, My Bad.

            It will be two years (as of tomorrow) since the Killer was exposed.

            Mea Culpa.

          • AnotherPat says:

            Claw: The 1st SEAC who wears an unauthorized Star on his NDSM for the Vietnam Era is a Coward, just as the Fake Vietnam POW, Rick Cayton. Those two as well as “Killer” will probably never admit they lied. I hope oneday their lies/embellishment backfires on them. Thanks for keeping track of Killer and the MHMR website.

      • Mayhem says:

        Claw, I can’t tell if that’s supposed to be his “Steeley Eyed Killer” look or his impression of Derk Zoolander’s “Blue Steel” look.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      He shaved his eyebrows! He shaved his freakin’ eyebrows!!!

      He can’t possibly be a real SEAL or anything else!

      Everybody knows SEALs don’t shave anything!!!

    • FuzeVT says:

      I’m going all caps for this one – stand by:


      Thanks for listening. I feel better now.

  3. QMC says:

    But he has the Batman stare!

  4. Tallywhagger says:

    Looks like that boy could use some Ex-Lax, prunes and fiber.

  5. Vexatious Defendant says:

    You guys are so dumb.

    He went to navy (Navy) BUDS training (not BUD/S), Seals training (SEAL), became a frogman (Frogman) I guess he went to prison, and got a survey in the male to go back. Something about eating grasshopper worms and a Naval air academy. I know for a fact at BUD/S a strick diet is tracked, there are no grasshopper worms and I know for a fact there is no Naval air academy.

    But this guy is LEGIT.

    PS: the bathroom selfie is always the hallmark for legititism.

  6. Vexatious Defendant says:

    The Murph is top row far left looking or his right.

    I know the Murph family well and attended the Commissioning of the USS Michael Murphy in NYC.

    This POS is no Lt Michael Murphy, USN MoH Recipient …

  7. Bobo says:

    Anyone want to wager that he has a tendency to frequent middle and high schools looking for dates?

  8. Doc Savage says:

    Welcome to your newfound fame, you petrified shit biscuit.

    “I’m dead center on top row.”

    Where in the fuck did you learn to count?
    You short strand DNA ‘tard…..that bathroom selfie “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet.

    You are not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside.

  9. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    This guy is a sack of shit for sure…but his commentary in the facebook thread is not indicative of any sort of intellect…which makes me think he’s painfully stupid.

    I always wonder if being that stupid hurts…

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      It’s like Janeane Garofalo (in her early days of stand-up) asks “What’s it like being stupid? Is it sort of like being high all the time?”

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Being truly stupid is analogous to being in a constant daze, without the side effect of chemicals to aid that state of fogginess. In addition, it is a permanent condition with no cure. I hope he has no known offspring. One can only hope that his contributions to the gene pool ended up being flushed.

      • AnotherPat says:

        On Offspring: He wrote on his Facebook “My son xavier is everything to me and has truly been a great blessing from GOD”.

        Don’t know if that is his biological son or stepson, but he sure is starting out wrong as a Parent by indiectly teaching Xavier how to not tell the truth..Sad.

  10. Daisy Cutter says:

    It’s hard to take his war face seriously with a shower curtain just over his shoulder.

  11. 26Limabeans says:

    That is quite the scowl. Must have had a rough time pinching that loaf.

  12. Graybeard says:

    Christopher Garcia is not half the man Oscar Romero is.
    Christopher Garcia is not a Navy SEAL.
    Christopher Garcia has never been in the Navy.
    Christopher Garcia is a bathroom-selfie loser.
    Christopher Garcia is a lame-brained doofus, it appears.

    Christopher Garcia is a liar.
    Christopher Garcia is probably, if past stolen valor phony SEALs are any indication, a petty criminal.

    Christopher Garcia is in need of some remedial counseling.

    • AnotherPat says:

      And all of God’s Children say AMEN!

      I like the “Bathroom-Selfie Loser”. Is that on ChipNasa’s TAH Wall of Shame? 😉

      That should be a new category for TAH: “Bathroom-Selfies Losers”..just an idea (cause we sure see alot of them)..😎

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      I repeat:

      Christopher Garcia is not half the man Oscar Romero is.
      Christopher Garcia is not a Navy SEAL.
      Christopher Garcia has never been in the Navy.
      Christopher Garcia is a bathroom-selfie loser.
      Christopher Garcia is a lame-brained doofus, it appears.

      Christopher Garcia is a liar.
      Christopher Garcia is probably, if past stolen valor phony SEALs are any indication, a petty criminal.

      Christopher Garcia is in need of some remedial counseling.

      Roger, copy five by five;


  13. Kat says:

    But his papers are in the male, guys. It’s official!

    • Graybeard says:

      He means that someone took his bs papers and shoved them where the sun don’t shine, which explains the look of concentration as he attempts to push them back out in the photo above.

  14. Ex-PH2 says:

    Shaves his eyebrows. Looks about as mean as a 3-day-old puppy. Most likely can’t even tie his own shoes without written instructions. Never spent a second of his time serving anyone but himself.

    Yes, he is the Real Deal Seal. That’s fer damn sure. If confronted by a Truly Bad Guy, my guess is he’d be hiding behind a wastebasket or in a steel floor cabinet, waiting for the velociraptors to go away.

    I move for the infliction of ChipNASA’s WOI, so long as Doc Savage’s ‘you petrified shit biscuit’ and his other insults are included. (I like to be inclusive.)

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      I second the motion.

      • ChipNASA says:

        We have a second, and do we have an Aye vote?

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        Can I add the “Aye” since this has kind of gotten lost?

      • Josey Wales says:

        Christopher Garcia – *PTUI*


        • ChipNASA says:

          OK guys. we have the votes.
          Here we GOOOOOOOO

          Hey Chris “Hardass Bathroom Selfie” Garcia, enjoy the Internet fame..

          Wall of Insults®™
          (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
          FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
          DANGER CLOSE!!!!
          MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
          TAKE COVER!!!!!
          Christopher Garcia NOT a Navy SEAL, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping ass fungus nugget, Bag of seasoned dog shit, Cambodian cunt sauce, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, Poster-child for abortion, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, Dick Swallowing Jerk Wad Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection, Klootviool, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, Anus tonguing shitslurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching wanktoaster, pud-knuckling pus-nuts, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, short strand DNA ‘tard, a bathroom selfie loser, fake “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet, not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside, dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion. You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, petrified shit biscuit, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, wait of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON?? Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as anSBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) , Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, Fair suck of the sav, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, baby cave, analconda, chodeyodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, bread loaf end slice, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Bellicose ball gnashing raper of babies with rabies, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, douche & enema nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, You are about as useful as a knitted condom, schlong juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee) NEVER in the Military, NOT NAVE and definitely NOT a SEAL, looks more like a Gay Adam Sandler Zohan, planetary level atomic flaming douchebag, Santorium, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Rumpleforeskin, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tappingglory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, YOU’RE THE REASON ALIENS COME TO EARTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STICK THINGS UP OUR ASSES BECAUSE EVEN ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS CAN’T FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Fiction-flinging Gerbal Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, you lying sack of mosquito, Siberian and of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.
          FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
          Can I get an AMEN?!
          (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
          Here endeth the lesson.

  15. AnotherPat says:


    Another Dude who uses Bible Scriptures on his Facebook (and a picture of Jesus?), but has no problem fibbing.

    What a walking testimony for Christianity.

    • Graybeard says:

      One thing I’d be terrified of is invoking God to make my lies seem believable.

      God tends to take a dim view of those who abuse His Name. And as Johnny Cash said: “My arms are too short to box with God.”

  16. Yef says:

    That’s one ugly mothefucker!

  17. Combat Historian says:

    Phony little cunt trying to act and talk tough…

  18. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Thumbsucking meat gazing booger-eating bedwetter.

  19. Atkron says:

    ‘I went to prison right after that’

    Says it all right there…probably should have just started with that.

    Filled out a survey to ‘come back’, because the Teams don’t have enough talent…they need to recruit ex-cons to help fill billets.

    I think Christopher Garcia’s ‘Team’ should look at sending Tyrone a survey too…after all he wants to shoot people.

    Two turds in a bucket…mother-mother_____.

    • AnotherPat says:

      Hmmmm…wonder if he actually went to prison…or was he referring to BUD/S…

      Too many Christopher Garcia in Texas that have Mugshots. Still confused on “AKA Christopher Lee”.

  20. JBUSMC says:

    This picture catches hell with the phonies. On Don Shipley’s youtube there was a dude a few years back that claimed to be the guy sitting next to the foreign dude.

  21. Cris says:

    That’s my palm tree on the right of the photo. Or would that be considered Stolen Foliage?

  22. Graybeard says:

    Looking at the photo of the BUD/S class, is that an SF member who his part of the class, or is he an instructor?

    I must be getting old, it strikes me how much these men look like high-school boys.

    • E4 Mafia For Life. says:

      I was going to say that is a rare Army SEAL.
      I’m going to throw out some wild speculation and say given the unsatisfactory shaping/wearing of his beret, he may be a foreign soldier training with the SEALS.

      • Graybeard says:

        The dress uniform resembles (to my civilian eye) the Army dress greens, but he’s got shoulderboards on that look like they have a couple of stars on them. I cannot make out the badges on his lapels. The white-on-blue nametag doesn’t look like anything I’ve seen, though.

        But I don’t know that much.

    • Slick Goodlin says:

      It’s pretty obvious the guy in the poofed up beret is not American military.

      In the U.S. most of us cut the lining out of berets and break that sucker down.

      • Graybeard says:

        After cutting the lining out, do you shave the inside as well to allow it to flop more?

        I’ve known some AB types that did that.

        I need to take a closer look at the photo, I guess, but don’t know who all besides US SEAL candidates can take BUD/S.

        • Slick Goodlin says:

          Right,a good looking U.S. Military beret takes some preparation or else it looks like a fuzzy mushroom on your head.

          It’s a common uniform error in military movies. Actors wear berets right out of the bag and have no idea how a real soldier would break it down.

      • rgr769 says:

        You are correct; he is not U.S. There are two foreign naval officers in the front row in the photo, as well. When I went through SFOC, we had almost 15 officers from the foreign militaries of Mexico, Turkey, Greece, Israel, Thailand, Indonesia, Nepal, and Jordan. Our class had two separate sections, so officers from countries that were adversaries didn’t sit in the same classroom or train together. The Jordanians couldn’t be with the Israeli; and the Greek officer had to be separated from the Turks. Unfortunately, I was in the section with the Turks. After week three, it was clear to us that they did not believe in bathing or changing their uniforms.

        • Graybeard says:

          re the Turks:
          this is my surprised face. [not]

          I suspect there is a lot of pressure on the foreign military guys to not go near the bell at BUD/S, or for SFOC whatever the analogous method of throwing in the towel may be. The loss of face would be insurmountable, I would think.

          • rgr769 says:

            We had a worthless Malaysian Army 2LT in my Ranger school class. He could speak practically no English and was totally out of his element. We basically used him for a pack mule on patrol. He never passed a single leadership position, so was ineligible for the tab, even though he finished the course. The School awarded him the tab anyway, as we were told another Malaysian officer failed out and was executed by his country for bringing shame on the nation and its army. Probably bullshit, but that was their excuse for not enforcing standards. I think some of the third world officers at SFOC were passed academically because of international politics. The three Turks were not the sharpest tools in the shed.

        • RM3(SS) says:

          When I was on the Quillback (SS424) out of Key West, the Turks were there to take possession of the Threadfin (SS410).
          They redefined the term Pigboat. the stench unbelievable, even in the EM club on Friday, there was always room around them.

  23. lily says:

    Maybe he heard SEAL stands for “Sleep Eat Lift” so he thought he was one?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *