Tyler Latvala; phony Green Beret

| January 22, 2018 | 51 Comments

Our partners at Guardians of the Green Beret share their work on this fellow, Tyler Latvala who claims to be special forces medic and he texts real time situation reports over his secure cell phone to his commander;

Until he gets busted and fesses up;

According to the Guardians, he’s an E-2 that graduated from Basic Training at Ft Sill, Oklahoma in October, 2015. There are many more hilarious text messages at the link above.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (51)

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  1. Doc Savage says:

    Annoying little spunk bubble.

    • Tyler Latvala's Narcissism says:

      USERID:5568
      SUBJ:ANT-A-99A
      CLASSIFICATION://U//
      MESSAGE: Blasted ants!
      Big ants, giant ants all
      over the place. Shooting
      and texting. My buddy g

      USERID:5568
      SUBJ:ANT-A-99A
      CLASSIFICATION://U//
      MESSAGE: ot stepped on
      by a giant fkn ant
      shooting acid at everybody
      killed the fker. I am o

      USERID:5568
      SUBJ:ANT-A-99A
      CLASSIFICATION://U//
      MESSAGE:k! Can’t say the
      same thing about Jim!
      Good God, these things are
      all over the place, j

      USERID:5568
      SUBJ:ANT-A-99A
      CLASSIFICATION://U//
      MESSAGE:ust shot a building
      down, giant ants all over the
      place

    • Butt Sponge says:

      “spunk bubble”

      If that’s not in the Wall of Insults it should be added post haste!

      • ChipNASA says:

        I’m adding both your name and the insult. I think that Butt Sponge Spunk Bubble to together nicely. I already have “Spunk Bubble Blowing” so adding “Butt Sponge” to that.

  2. Hondo says:

    (sigh) Another SF-wannabe.

    Good to see that 5th Group finally decided to remember (and honor) its history and go back to the striped flash, though.

  3. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Cocksucker.

  4. 1610desig says:

    Seems like the kind of fellow who will make national news one day

  5. Ex-PH2 says:

    Graduate E-2 in 2015. Is this twig still on AD, or has he been chastised and/or sent packing?

    How does anyone find the time to do this idiotic stuff? I never had time for it, except on my lunch hour… and that was usually spent with a magazine and a plate of mac & cheese or ham and eggs.

  6. Planet Ord says:

    I hate seeing my old unit patch on these goofball douchebags. Just hate it.

  7. Claw says:

    LT Raines?

    Wasn’t that Brad Pitts’ character in Inglorious Basterds?

    Talk about originality. Maybe Private Latvala really did get smacked with a sledgehammer.

    Dumbass.

  8. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    WAY TO GO you meatheaded little fartmonkey, enjoy your Google®™ fame!

  9. QMC says:

    Spewed my coffee out laughing while reading all of these texts this morning. Talk about too much time on your hands!

  10. MSGRetired says:

    Never said anything in the Apology that he was Full of Shit and is not nor ever was Special Forces. Hell he could be apologizing for leaving the milk out on the counter. Fuck this ass hat !

  11. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    If only he had texted, “Roger dodger. Wilco. Over and out.” That would have been perfect.

    • MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

      OVER.

    • Mason says:

      I think it was an exhibit at the Pima air museum. Told the story of WWII flight training. School superintendent was a Major. Overhears a student aviator acknowledge every radio instruction with “roger dodger”. The major hated this, so gets on the radio and tells him to knock it off. A few minutes later, the student again replies with roger dodger.

      So the major gets on the radio and says something like, “This is Major X, stop saying ‘roger dodger’!” To which the student pilot replies, “Roger dodger, you old codger, I’m a major too.”

      • just some feller says:

        Back in the mid-70s had a flight engineer in our barracks (oops, I mean dorm) who always said — in the dayroom, not in flight — “Roger dodger, you old codger; roger, wilco, over and out.”

    • Buckeye Jim says:

      Early 70’s during a boring mid watch on Yankee Station some one would broadcast on the circuit “Hello ‘dere” which was a punch line in vogue at the time (Allen and Rossi comedy team). Some up tight senior officer got on the line and ranted on and on about maintaining circuit discipline. After a brief pause, some one chirped out “Who dat?”……talk about a coffee spew!!

    • 11b-mailclerk says:

      Oh-dark-thirty, Fort Irwin.

      CPT S-4 angry: “(callsign stuff) where’s the xyz report?! Send it ASAP, over.”

      SPC X: “(callsign stuff)….Wait one, over.”

      …. pause …

      CPT S-4 angry: (outraged, spluttering, no callsigns/procedures) “Wait one? Wait? I’m a captain! I don’t fucking wait for you! You fucking wait for me!”

      (Second voice): “fuck you sir!”

      CPT S-4: (apoplectic, almost stroke-out) “who the fuck is that! You don’t use rank on the fucking radio! WHO THE FUCKING FUCK IS THAT!!!!! (More, similar)

      …pause….

      (Second voice): “You don’t know, do you sir!”

      CPT S-4: (nuclear meltdown)

      Details provided to me by a member of my merry little band, who might possibly have been the #1 in that exchange, or present for it. The rest of us were convinced #2 was OPFOR. At least that was the story we gave all who asked. The observer-controllers apparently had a field day with that little lapse of radio protocol.

    • Graybeard says:

      NG Son reports being on guard duty once, when it was close to time to be relieve he came over the radio asking for a slightly earlier relief because “I’ve got to go potty.”
      His Sgt. was incredulous.

    • Commissioner Wretched says:

      “Roger Wilcox!” – Fred, assistant to Super Chicken

  12. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    This guy is a moroon.

    He is a moroon?

    Yes, a tactical incoming moroon!

    Got it, yep, WILCO.

  13. Green Thumb says:

    Queef.

    But in all reality, this is what you get when you lower the standards.

  14. Ex-PH2 says:

    Maybe he’ll start thinking he’s Napoleon’s identical twin brother, separated at birth by more than a century.

  15. CPT11A says:

    I think I actually feel bad for this guy. He’s clearly a retard. An actual, double digit IQ, retard.

    Check out his definition for mortars. “A mortar is basically a bomb you drop in a tube and it flies out and hits stuff and explodes.”

    He’s not dealing from a full deck, obviously.

  16. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    DAMN! Cocksucking assclown TYLER LATVALA looks like he enjoys sucking down ghey whey shakes directly from “the source”.

    ENJOY. THE. FAME. COCKSUCKER.

  17. Atkron says:

    Because calling in drone strikes from your closet while in your Superman Underoos is where it’s at!

  18. rgr769 says:

    Backwards Beret-Boi may have a head injury, since he now can’t tell right from left. Maybe the novelty uniform store that supplied his green beret deliberately makes them with the “pull” on the left to go over the left ear. Let’s hope so, as it is a dead giveaway for a phony pony.

    • rgr769 says:

      Took another look at the photos on the Guardians site and it appears the images are all reversed. So that explains the wrong side problem, but we have had several examples of POSers that have made that mistake with their fakery.

  19. SFAlphaGeek says:

    You know, I read the poser stories on this site and usually they range from hilarious to disgusting. This one, though, is just pathetic.

  20. PLASTIC DUCK says:

    I don’t regard that as fessing up at all.He doesn’t mention anything about what he did. What is he admitting ? He is just a spunkbubble

  21. RCAF_CHAIRBORNE says:

    …more like a Green Bidet

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