William George Huurman, Jr; phony SEAL

| March 2, 2018 | 76 Comments

Our partner Don Shipley shares his work on this goofy-looking fellow, William George Huurman, Jr who is a bail bondsman in Kissimmee, Florida. He claims to be a Navy SEAL and that he served in Team 2, but that he represents SEAL Team 7 because that is where the Navy tosses all of their “SEAL Jews, Christians and Muslims that were disowned by SEAL Team for being religious.” There are tattoos involved;

He’s wearing Tapout shirts so you know he’s legit. Huurman says that his SEAL code name is “Oakley-H” which is tattooed on his leg.

When confronted, Huurman has a “Naval Confidentiality Agreement” because his DD214 is so classified (Mr Shipley assures us that there is no such thing as a “Naval Confidentiality Agreement” for service in the SEAL Teams). Huurman claims that he’s a “SEAL of God” and he tries to “save” the folks that he takes into custody before he turns them over to the police.

Anyway, the Navy responded to the FOIA request with a resounding “Who?”

Huurman says that he changed his name after his service, but no, there is no record of him changing his name.

Mr Shipley recognized that Mr Huurman was too ugly to be a SEAL, so he asked the Army for any records. The Army responded “Oh, that guy”. Huurman had an impressive 21 days of service at Fort McClellan hoping, but failing, to become a Military Policeman;

Mr Shipley tells us that the SEALs would never accept someone that ugly and with that stupid name in their presence.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (76)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    Ah, I would have to agree Don, this guy is way too ugly for Naval Service, probably why Army took him for 21 days … Army decided too that he was far to ugly for Army service.

    • Frankie Cee says:

      Yep, Florida, at the bottom of the funnel where all the flowing turds wind up. This one got his creds in NY then slid on down here to pollute our state.

      • jeff monroe says:

        Hey also what is with the Virginia National Guard Tat? It is the Ying and Yang Tat! Umm also what does the Navy sends SEAL Jews, Christians and Muslims to the other team?

    • Claw says:

      Yep. Florida. America’s flaccid wang.

      • Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

        Hey sj,Frankie Cee and CLaw;, I live in Florida, so let’s see a little slack. I do have a nice sized water purifier under my sink so maybe that’s what’s keeping me from being one those Garvone’s.

        • Frankie Cee says:

          Jeff LPH 3, 63-66, I too live in Florida, having lived first in Miami Beach, Life Guard there, among other jobs, then the Keys, then Tampa/St. Pete, then the Keys, then Seminole County, then the Keys, then Crystal River and Yankeetown, then St. Pete, then up here to the Northwest Panhandle, where I think I have landed and shucked my wings. I don’t remember the LPH Number, but as an Army HUEY Crew Chief, we did “Aircraft Carrier Training” on the LPH Thetis Bay in 1963.

          • Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

            Frankie Cee; The Thetis Bay was LPH 6 and started out as a Cassablanca class escort carrier during WWIILPH-6 DEPLOYMENTS – MAJOR EVENTS
            Add a LPH-6 Shellback Initiation Add a LPH-6 Deployment – Major Event
            Month Year to Month Year Deployment / Event
            DEC 1943 – Keel Date: 22 DEC 1943
            at Kaiser Shipyards
            MAR 1944 – Launch Date: 16 MAR 1944
            APR 1944 – Commissioned: 12 APR 1944
            SEP 1962 – DEC 1962 Cuban Missle Blockade
            OCT 1962 – OCT 1962 Cuban Missle Blockade
            MAR 1964 – Decommissioned: 1 MAR 1964

  2. River Rat RVN says:

    As one who actually made it through the rigors of MP school back in the good ole’ days of FT Gordon, then off the fun & games of the RVN, I’m pleased to see that this MP wannabe never made the cut.

    Maybe he should have tried the Air Force.

  3. 6654 says:

    Doesn’t anyone just want to be Ricky Recon anymore?

  4. Combat Historian says:

    21 days of MP OSUT…not even long enough to learn how to do a proper RIGHT FLANK MARCH! Much less how to MP…

  5. Frankie Cee says:

    William George Huurman, Jr, wants to be famous. When you leave a comment about him, use his name. Using a pronoun, or shithead, or dick breath may describe him but that doesn’t help him at Gooooogle, where he needs to be portrayed. I left him some love in a comment at his Facebook page.

  6. Frankie Cee says:

    Why would a former SEAL wear an ARMY wrist band, (top photo)? His Facebook page claims he went to school at “University of Florida”, but he has a Tattoo of “Florida State University”. This guy is more fucked up than he knows.

  7. Mick says:

    ‘…William George Hurrman, Jr who is a bail bondsman in Kissimmee, Florida.’

    That says it all.

  8. Tallywhagger says:

    Bail bondsman? He may have found his calling.

  9. Frankie Cee says:

    His facebook page is closed to outside comments. His wife’s page is not. Now, he can explain this all to her.

  10. Frankie Cee says:

    Would a mere 21 days of service be enough to qualify one for VA healthcare? It shouldn’t but I don’t know. And, could someone get an honorable discharge after just 21 days?
    William George Huurman, Jr will probably be asked about his military service by a very well known Bail Bondsman, also in Florida.

    • Non Cedo Ferio says:

      Frankie, if it’s an ELS the VA considers that to be under conditions other than dishonorable. I can put up chapter and verse on the reg. But the only thing I think he can get treated for would be any injury in those 21 days. The VA has a service time requirement that’s much longer than that for receiving VA health

    • NHSparky says:

      Nope. 181 days AD required.

      • Non Cedo Ferio says:

        181 to be considered a veteran. , but for most veterans who served after September 1980 , you have to have at least 24 continuous months or finish the first full period you were called up for active duty . Minimum duty requirements for va health and benes

  11. Ex-PH2 says:

    Code name? Definitely not part of B.O.G.O. That’s the only code name I know about.

    Why can’t these people just learn to be happy with who they are?

  12. Mustang Major says:

    FSU Tattoo. Hmmmmm…must have been on the football team’s starting lineup. Probably went on to earn a finance degree.

  13. NHSparky says:

    Special SEAL team for all the religious types.

    Well fuck, if he says so!

    • jeff monroe says:

      That is what I was thinking Mr. NH Sparky!? I met lots of Chaplains in both my Navy years and my x in the Army National Guard and while deployed-didn’t know the military had separate teams, units for Religious Members?

  14. 2/17 Air Cav says:

    He looks like a bean bag clown.

    • thebesig says:

      William George Huurman Jr. Is a phony Navy SEAL, who only did 21 days in the Army, a Basic Combat Training washout. He would have had better luck claiming to be Dennis Howard Chevalier, phony veteran, phony SWAT, and phony retired USAF Lieutenant Colonel. He could have also tried to balance a ball on his nose, clapped his hands, and say, “Arf arf arf,” to convince people that he was one of those seals. He would have had better luck doing that too.

  15. Graybeard says:

    For the 2018 TAH Phony Race William George Huurman, Jr. increases the lead of the phony SEALs by 1. He does not count as actually having served, as the Army booted his stupid adz in 21 days. In one of those photos he’s rocking a tattooed moob, so he goes on record as an overweight phony.

    So, for the record:
    William George Huurman, Jr. never was a SEAL.
    William George Huurman, Jr. is a fat tattoo-parlor billboard.
    William George Huurman, Jr. couldn’t make it through boot camp in the Army.
    William George Huurman, Jr. falsely claims to be religious – as a truly religious person does not lie or pretend to be what they are not.
    William George Huurman, Jr. is a bad influence on criminals and other scumbags.
    William George Huurman, Jr. is in some serious need of psychological help.

    William George Huurman, Jr. is going to be Google-famous.

    (((OVER)))

    • Mason says:

      GB, I copy 5×5 and repeat

      William George Huurman, Jr. never was a SEAL.
      William George Huurman, Jr. is a fat tattoo-parlor billboard.
      William George Huurman, Jr. couldn’t make it through boot camp in the Army.
      William George Huurman, Jr. falsely claims to be religious – as a truly religious person does not lie or pretend to be what they are not.
      William George Huurman, Jr. is a bad influence on criminals and other scumbags.
      William George Huurman, Jr. is in some serious need of psychological help.

      William George Huurman, Jr. is going to be Google-famous.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Check,

      William George Huurman, Jr. never was a SEAL.
      William George Huurman, Jr. is a fat tattoo-parlor billboard.
      William George Huurman, Jr. couldn’t make it through boot camp in the Army.
      William George Huurman, Jr. falsely claims to be religious – as a truly religious person does not lie or pretend to be what they are not.
      William George Huurman, Jr. is a bad influence on criminals and other scumbags.
      William George Huurman, Jr. is in some serious need of psychological help.

      William George Huurman, Jr. is going to be Google-famous.

      FIve by five,

      ((((OVER))))

  16. Wilted Willy says:

    Why do all these assclowns have to show up in my adopted home state of Florida? I mean really, is it all the sunshine that fries their brains or what? I have been here for nearly 40 years now and I think I am still some what normal? I haven’t claimed to be a Ranger or a Tupperware SEAL yet? I have no intentions of doing so either So why does William George Huurman Jr. the 21 day wonder have to come out of the closet and start claiming to be a SEAL?
    You sir are a dickstain that your mother should have swallowed instead! Why do you claim honors that others have died for and you, you useless cum bucket only spent 3 weeks serving your country!! I hope your wife dumps your worthless ass once she reads the truth about you! I can only hope a REAL SEAL Team finds you and teaches you what real fighting and pain are all about! I hope they stomp your worthless ass into dust! Enjoy your new found internet fame there cocksucker, you deserve every minute of it! And just remember cocksucker, the Internet is forever, not like your short military career!

  17. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    WILLIAM GEORGE HUURMMAN JR. – Phony SEAL, real deal SQUEAKHOLE WARRIOR

    Enjoy the GOOGLE hits, thermonuclear cocksucker!

  18. Atkron says:

    Kind of looks like Mr. Peanut, from Planter’s.

    Saving souls for Mr. Jesus, one lie at a time. He doesn’t bounty hunt too does he?

    Can you imagine what kind of PR damage this dickhead could do the real Team Guys, if he shoots someone, and the news hears SEAL?

    You know, because they never run a story without doing background check or even a google search.

  19. Green Thumb says:

    Geez.

    I am a Redskins fan.

    This is bad.

  20. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    The arrangement of those tats make him look like a kid’s sticker book!

  21. Mark Lauer says:

    So, apparently the SEALs don’t like their guys to believe in God.
    Even though every one I’ve ever heard has mentioned their strong faith in God at least once during their conversation, or speech, or presentation. And the guys I’ve “met” on Facebook are also strong in faith.
    Where do this numb internal organ motherfuckers come up with these stories?

  22. Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 says:

    Florida Seals in the lead at the TAH starting gate AGAIN.

  23. smoke-check says:

    Guys, come on. He has a ‘SEAL code’, so you know he’s legit

  24. Mayhem says:

    Looking at all the “Tats” he has makes me wonder if they are even real. Probably just those temporary tats you can get at the flea market. The other thought was Holy crap ! what an unorganized, grab-asstic piece of amphibian shit! I mean that ink is so fuckin random if I looked at it much longer I was gonna have a fuckin seizure!

  25. Claw says:

    William George Huurman, Jr. (FRPR)* scores a 47 x 7 = 329 according to the KAK Wheel, but he tried to give Sam Samford a run for his money in the least amount of time spent on active duty.

    But Sam Samford, Fake SEAL, with dates of service from 22 Nov 78 to 11 Dec 78 (19 days) is still the King.

    *Full Retard Past Rutabaga (H/T to API)

  26. JMAC says:

    The Army just gave him crayons and sent him home.

  27. Mit law says:

    It appears it’s a total of 21 service time. The dude never made it out of basic.

  28. E4 Mafia For Life. says:

    As the Custodian of the US Army SEALS Roster and Records, I can confirm that no one by the name of “William George Huurman” has attended the prerequisite MEPS course.
    There is no variation of his name – or any names for that matter – in my records.

  29. Jonn Lilyea says:

    Mr Shipley talked to Mr Huurman on the phone and warned him that if he hung up on him, he’d send the case to us, so you know Huurman hung up on him, and…voila!

    • Graybeard says:

      Therefore,
      whereas William George Hurrman, Jr. would not take good advice, and
      whereas William George Hurrman, Jr. would not own up to his perfidy, and
      whereas William George Hurrman, Jr. appears to be doubling down on the stupid,
      I hereby repeat the findings that:

      William George Huurman, Jr. never was a SEAL.
      William George Huurman, Jr. is a fat tattoo-parlor billboard.
      William George Huurman, Jr. couldn’t make it through boot camp in the Army.
      William George Huurman, Jr. falsely claims to be religious – as a truly religious person does not lie or pretend to be what they are not.
      William George Huurman, Jr. is a bad influence on criminals and other scumbags.
      William George Huurman, Jr. is in some serious need of psychological help.

      William George Huurman, Jr. is going to be Google-famous.” registered above.

      So let it be written, so let it be remembered.

  30. ALVO says:

    Needs a Real Trident shoved up his ass…then ask him if he is a U.S. NAVY SEAL?? Hmmmmmmnnnn asshole?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *