| June 10, 2009

For the lame brained, this is not meant to be funny, but rather to make a point.  Hope you get the point. Also, the incomparable Ms Malkin links to Greyhawk who lays it out more straightforward than I did.

(U//LES) The DHS/Office of Intelligence and Analysis (I&A) has no specific information that domestic rightwing* terrorists are currently planning acts of violence, but rightwing extremists may be gaining new recruits by playing on their fears about several emergent issues. The economic downturn and the election of the first African American president present unique drivers for rightwing radicalization and recruitment.

BH: [A researcher] Hey man
ME: Wassup dude?
BH: You tracking the Holocaust Memorial shooting?
ME: Yeah, horrible.
BH: Yeah. Did you see on _____ and hear where FoxNews said this was a vindication of the DHS report?
ME: Nah, I was listening to the radio mostly.
BH: Well, it really pissed me off, hope someone blasts them for that crap.
ME: Blasts them?
BH: Yeah, online, points out that this doesn’t vindicate the report at all, since it doesn’t address any portion of the report that anyone disagreed with. It comes as no surprise that there are racist assholes out there who do racist asshole things. The problems with the report had nothing to do with anti-semitic retards.
Me: How’s that?
BH: Let’s say I put a post up on my blog yesterday that said based on my research that last night there was a heightened chance that police would apprehend you performing fellatio on a Panda, that Josh Beckett would get shelled for 15 runs by the Yankees, and that serious storms would hit Virginia. What would you have said?
ME: I would have kicked your ass. Beckett hasn’t given up any runs in three games, and I don’t a) live near a zoo, nor b) do I like pandas, and c) I don’t perform fellatio.
BH: But it did storm last night.
ME: So what?
BH: Vindicated.
ME: That shit makes no sense.

(U//FOUO) The possible passage of new restrictions on firearms and the return of military veterans facing significant challenges reintegrating into their communities could lead to the potential emergence of terrorist groups or lone wolf extremists capable of carrying out violent attacks.

ME: Hey JT.
JT: [Congressional Staffer] Hey, what’s up?
ME: You covered the whole DHS report debacle right, I have a few questions.
JT: You know they pulled that report, right?
ME: Yeah, I heard that, but why did they pull it?
JT: Because everyone went batshit over it.
ME: Like who?
JT: Well, veterans groups for one. Also all the Tea Party people, a whole host of blogs, most GOP Senators and Congressmen. But, really, it pretty much got pulled when Bennie Thompson the Chairman of the Homeland Security Committe came out and said that “this report appears to raise significant issues involving the privacy and civil liberties of many Americans — including war veterans… As I am certain you agree, freedom of association and freedom of speech are guaranteed to all Americans — whether a person’s beliefs, whatever their political orientation, are ‘extremist’ or not.”
ME: Any idea how long he’s been active in the white supremacist movement?
JT: …….
ME: You there?
JT: What the hell are you talking about? He’s a black democrat from Mississippi who’s on the Congressional Black Caucus.
ME: Does he hate Jews?
JT: Is this going somewhere?
ME: I’m just wondering who complained on behalf of the racists who were in the report so that it got pulled. Anyone stand up for the Klan or anything?
JT: I’m going back to work now.
ME: One last question. How many people stood up for the rights of previously incarcerated wackjobs who tried to kidnap federal officials?
JT: *click*

(U//LES) The FBI noted in a 2008 report on the white supremacist movement that some returning military veterans from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have joined extremist groups.

The willingness of a small percentage of military personnel to join extremist groups during the 1990s because they were disgruntled, disillusioned, or suffering from the psychological effects of war is being replicated today.

SP: [Sgt, Army G2] Army G2, this is SP, this is not a secure line, how can I help you sir or ma’am.
ME: Need you to help me bud, or I will tell them you’re gay.
SP: I’m married and have 2 kids. What do you want?
ME: Just need you to run some demographics on OEF/OIF vets for me.
SP: We don’t really do that, but I can talk to the S1 shop or the OSD for you, what do you need specifically?
ME: OK, I need to know how many PT boat captains have served in OIF and OEF that are between the ages of 81 and 88.
SP: …[long pause] liquid lunch at Hooters again?
ME: No man, working away. Can you get that info for me.
SP: Yeah, wait a second. {keyboard noises} Um, says zero.
ME: Zero? You sure.
SP: Yes, we have no octogenarian PT boat skippers in either theater.
ME: Thanks.

…..could create a fertile recruiting environment for rightwing extremists and even result in confrontations between such groups and government authorities similar to those in the past.

….these issues contributed to the growth in the number of domestic rightwing terrorist and extremist groups and an increase in violent acts targeting government facilities, law enforcement officers, banks,
and infrastructure sectors.

AP: Office of the Secretary of Interior, this is AP.
ME: Hey, do you guys have oversight over the Holocaust Memorial.
AP: Um. No.
ME: Who does?
AP: It’s a public-private partnership, federal support guarantees the Museum’s permanence, and donors nationwide make possible its educational activities and global outreach.
ME: OK, thanks.

(U//FOUO) Returning veterans possess combat skills and experience that are attractive to rightwing extremists. DHS/I&A is concerned that rightwing extremists will attempt to recruit and radicalize returning veterans in order to boost their violent capabilities.

(U//FOUO) DHS/I&A assesses that rightwing extremists will attempt to recruit and radicalize returning veterans in order to exploit their skills and knowledge derived from military training and combat.

SP: [Sgt, Army G2] Army G2, this is SP, this is not a secure line, how can I help you sir or ma’am.
ME: Still think you are gay.
SP: Why must you bother me again?
ME: Need to know what kind of armaments PT boats have.
SP: Well, what with my being in the army, I have no friggin clue. Don’t you have Wikipedia?
ME: Yeah, just easier to call you. Aren’t you like a help desk?
SP: [Reading] The primary anti-ship armament was two or four Mark 18 21-inch steel (53 cm) torpedo tubes launching Mark 8 torpedoes, which weighed about one ton each. Some carried two to four U.S. Navy Mark 6 depth charges in roll-off stern racks, or mine racks. Later boats mounted one 40 mm Bofors gun aft and four launching racks, two on each beam, for 22.5-inch (57 cm) Mark 13 torpedos. Some PTs later received two eight-cell 5-inch (127 mm) spin-stabilized flat trajectory rocket launchers, giving them 16 rockets and as much firepower for a short time as a destroyer mounting five-inch guns. By war’s end, the PT boat had more “firepower-per-ton” than any other vessel in the U.S. Navy. One other addition US Navy PTs had was Raytheon SO type radar, with about a 25 nm range. Since PTs operated mainly at night, having radar gave them an advantage over the enemy in being able to locate and engage them even in zero visibility. Although radar is not specifically a weapon, its use by the PT boats made the other weapons much more effective.
ME: How many shotguns?
SP: Shotguns?
ME: Yeah, shotguns. Lots of shotguns on that thing?
SP: Jesus you are a pain in the ass.
ME: Are Octogenarian PT boat captains ever used in those assasination squads I read about from Seymour Hersh?
SP: Not that I’ve heard dude.
ME: Did they train the PT Boat captains during WWII to be scary ninja types? You know, some kind of skill that would be really marketable 50 years later?
SP: Goodbye.

Category: Politics

Comments (16)

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  1. Anon says:

    Still not sure what I just read but it sounded good.

  2. OldSoldier54 says:

    Yep. That about covers it.

    Smith is a moron.

  3. Claire says:

    This is precisely why the Tiller murder is dramatized and denounced and the murder of an American soldier in garrison on American soil, by an admitted Islamic terrorist convert is downplayed to the point that the sorry excuse of a CiC could not even give a public statement.

    Tell me that the media is not a lap dog and a tool.

  4. megapotamus says:

    Smith also not long ago had a screaming hissy re “torture” on the web based after show. In response to a guest’s Cheneyesque claim that waterboarding produced the information we now know it produced he squealed out, “I don’t care if it saves any lives, we don’t f…ing torture!” Me and mine don’t watch when this doof is on. We see the reality of Murdoch’s long ago claim that there are more liberals at Fox than there are conservatives in the whole rest of the business. No more Shep.

  5. S6R says:

    But you DO love Pandas…so very, very much…you were just saying the other day how lame Blizzard is for not unlocking Pandaren as a player race.

  6. Doug says:

    This post is brilliant.
    Get it linked.

  7. AFSister says:

    I’m SHOCKED. SHOCKED, I tell ya.
    BH has never performed fellatio on a panda. It was a KOALA.

    Get it straight, TSO. 😉

  8. UpNorth says:

    Wishing you had posted yet another spew alert. Great Post!!!

  9. JorgXMcKie says:

    I quit listening to ‘Shep’ (a good name for a dog, but Smith isn’t really smart enough to deserve it) after he stood coatless and tieless outside New Orleans in the aftermath of Katrina, breathlessly informing us of mass rape and cannibalism in the Superdome.

    What. A. Maroon. (He *must* know where some serious bodies are buried or he’d have been gone years ago.)

  10. EdGi says:

    TSO hits it 10x – ok, maybe “hits it” is verboten now. The DHS thingee failed to note, or even be aware of, any specific anything. The stalinist bullies do not see the nutters as a threat since they very much emphathise with looney hatred, and well deserve your ridicule. “Shep” Smith is a nitwit; from cajunland and doesn’t know who runs the state; doesn’t know what torture is, thinks the nutter is a conservatve, but doesn’t know no Rev Wright, the Weatherman or the Pinkos. Keep on wholloping the wankers.

  11. Uber Pig says:

    I wish I had written this piece.

    — Uber Pig

  12. dutch508 says:

    My Gawd- you did phone the Pentagon.

  13. TSO says:

    I actually did call, but the initials of the guy I talked to, one of my friends, is actually BO, but I didn’t want anyone confusing that with Bar Obama.